Seriously, What am I to...

...You?
 
Me?
 
The other night I woke up about 3am, so I guess it was really morning, I showered and dressed. Then bored already, I got in my car to drive around and think. In the dark. I sat in the seat for a bit before starting the car and looked up into the rearview mirror. Panic struck me in a jolt as I saw no reflection. But as I grabbed the mirror I saw that it had been moved and some optical illusion to startle me had been set in motion.
 
My heart pounded for a moment heavy. There was a layer of sweat sprinkled on my head. It doesn't seem like that big a deal, I guess I was still groggy from sleep and for a brief time I thought I might have been out of my body, or that I didn't exist.
 
Twisted my earbuds in tight, clicked on the iPod and the first song was NINs, "Only" it was perfect for the event and for the drive around in the night.
 
I'm becoming less defined as days go by
Fading away
And well you might say
I'm losing focus
Kinda drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself
 
Sometimes I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes I can see right through myself
 
Less concerned about fitting into the world
Your world that is
Cause it doesn't really matter anymore
(no it doesn't really matter anymore)
No it doesn't really matter anymore
None of this really matters anymore
 
Yes I am alone but then again I always was
As far back as I can tell
I think maybe it's because
Because you were never really real to begin with
I just made you up to hurt myself
 
I just made you up to hurt myself, yeah
And I just made you up to hurt myself
 
And it worked.
Yes it did!
 
There is no you
There is only me
There is no you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me
 
Well the tiniest little dot caught my eye and it turned out to be a scab
And I had this funny feeling like I just knew it's something bad
I just couldn't leave it alone, I kept picking at the scab
It was a doorway trying to seal itself shut
But I climbed through
 
Now I am somewhere I am not supposed to be, and I can see things I know I really shouldn't see
And now I know why, now, now, now I know why
Things aren't as pretty
On the inside
 

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