...something I avoided buying because of all the ads for it.
When I couldn't find my favorite deodorant, Arm & Hammer Baking Soda, on the shelf, I had to improvise. I grabbed the first Axe stick I saw and there were many varieties. Still don't know what flavor it is, but the container has a copper brown design on it. But let me tell you, I put it on and all night long I kept trying to take a sniff of my pits every now and then just because it was so wonderful. Of course I didn't want anyone to see me doing it, so I'd reach up to rub the top of my head and casually tilt my head to the side. Inhale. Or pretend I was searching for something in my pants pocket and bend over as though I was looking into it. Take a whiff. Bring on a fake yawn and cover my mouth with the inside of my elbow. Sniff it! The aroma is fantastic! It's a real turn on. So much so, I couldn't wait to get myself in bed. Can't wait to try it out on a woman!
Later I dreamed I was a cool fashion designer. All my friends were beautiful models. I was having a party in my pad, which was on the bottom part of a giant Zeppelin. We were floating high over Milan and the Smashing Pumpkins were my party band. My new fragrance had just been unleashed to the world and we were celebrating. I was telling some funny story and everyone was laughing. Bar Refaeli raise a glass to toast me, Billy Corgan patted me on the back, Tom Ford yelled, "Speech!" I thought a bit and looked around the room at all those amazing looking people and said, "I just want people to be happy."
It was like I said something really stupid. Everyone looked at each other. Embarrassed I walked out onto the balcony alone as a storm cloud sparkling with lightning passed underneath the Zeppelin. I stared down onto the city far below. Something was missing from my life. Someone. The person I wanted to share all this with wasn't there. A missing girl.
In the dream, I began to wonder if that missing girl was a dream. I remembered that if I wasn't sure I was dreaming, I could try to see myself in a mirror. There was one on a table that some models were snorting coke off of, I picked it up and my image was all blurry. I held the mirror up really close and I started to see myself clearly, but there was a crackling sound and static was building up on the skin of the Zeppelin. The Captain's voice blared out of the speakers warning all of us, "Do not to touch another person because the static shock could trigger an explosion and send us all to a fiery Hell!"
Guests began throwing chairs through the windows and jumping to their deaths! I leaned over the railing and watched dozens of models flailing their arms and legs as they fell through the clouds below.
The image of the missing girl appeared in my mind and I needed to call her! I roamed the empty and trashed apartment to find the phone and just as I touched it...
The giant Zeppelin burst into flames and we lit up the night sky!
0 comments:
Post a Comment