...when I was younger, I just believed it would always be that way.
I used to make so much money! None of my friends were getting as much, well the friends selling drugs were, but none of my hard working friends. Didn't feel like I was really working all that hard to get it either. Maybe there was a little bit of guilt there? It was so unexplained how I seemed to have some magical power, but it was like as soon as I tried to investigate how I was a target for such good fortune... It began to slip away. OMG! WHY? Panic set it! Anger! So called friends left me in droves! Then offers for more money started drying up. My network of connections faded away. I was in a fog. This has to change! I know I'm better off now in many ways. I know more. I've experienced loss. I've grown. Granted, the money I was making wasn't fantastic, but I will say without hesitation, I wish I was making the money I was making when I was in my early 20s, right now! I've never owned a house. I've never owned property. I live very cheap. I'm frugal. My car is 13 years old. I have no kids. I'm not married. I'm not dating anyone. I have no health insurance. What a prize! Who would want me? I know I have talent. I know I'm fairly smart. I know I'm loyal. I wish I could find a way to do all the things I know I can do. I was successful a few times, I know I can be again. I wish I knew someone that could help me. Guide me. Recapture some of that magic I once had. Be my Cheerleader. I know people that have money, successful lives, happy families, beautiful homes, smart kids, everything, and I know I could get that too, but there seems to be a window between me and that. I have this reoccurring dream where I see someone who looks like me and I follow him and it turns out to be me and he's living the life I should be living. A parallel universe. Somewhere in some dimension I've got it made. I've hit the jackpot. I have the beautiful and loving wife. I won the lotto. I got the brains. I have it all. I am happiness personified. My ship came in. I'm King of the World. But in this life...
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