Saturday, February 28, 2009
I loved it, but I have fussy relatives that complain about anything that doesn't taste like the bland hillbilly roadkill type food or charity or Government handout meals they are accustom to.
I have a brother who will ask me a question, lets say like:
"Jerry, what's Sushi?"
I will tell him and a second later as the waiter walks over he will ask him:
"What's Sushi?"
As if he didn't believe me! That is so irritating! He does it for things other than food, too.
I left, belly filled to the busting point and I needed to rub coconut oil on my stomach so I wouldn't get stretch marks when the baby is born. Then after an amazing stop and drop off in the bathroom back at my house I hit the road back to the hospital, hungry again. I wish I was wealthy enough to just eat meat without any carbs, man I'd be skinny!
Back at the hospital nothing had changed except my dad was still just barely alive and unable to let go. He has already lived longer than the doctor told me he would. His lungs are filled with fluids he is unable to pass because of the kidney failure and as he breathes there is a horrible gurgling sound of a drowning man.
I can't take this much longer!
I don't want to end up like this and I know he doesn't want to be like this as well. I need to set up and have a plan in place so this isn't my end.
Friday, February 27, 2009
But that's very far from the truth. The real reason I haven't been with you, either here or on the podcast is because my dad fell and slammed his head on the floor and has had his kidneys fail.
His body is filling up with toxins and the doctors say he will die very soon. So all my brothers are together and we are taking turns staying at the hospital waiting for him to die.
We are in shifts and I get the overnight shift.
It's pretty scary and lonely here, the staff is small and the halls are dark and dad is hallucinating and making scary sounds. He is having conversations with different people from his past. He even had a long conversation with his father about wanting another glass of milk. I think my dad is about 10 years old in this dream.
Sometimes he flails about reaching for imaginary things and tries to grasp objects in his mind and out of reach.
This can be scary and disconcerting to see.
There are no liquids leaving his body. He is swelling up. His face is puffy. He is on a lot of pain medicine as they just want him to be comfortable.
I don't know how I'm going to feel about him being dead.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Looks like I'm about to get some...
...Sponsors, that is!
You dirty bastards... I know what you're thinking!
In a surprise email today, I received word that maybe help is on the way in getting money for the podcast! I think that's what it said. I might need to go back and read it again, but that was the feeling I got from it.
I could be wrong, but I'm sticking to that belief! I hope I didn't delete that email. I know it's here somewhere!
This will be so great to be getting money from doing this show! It'll be better than going into a radio station and shoveling coal for a living!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Looks like Supermodel Bar Refaeli shaves...

...but who doesn't anymore? I'm not into sports, but I got locked in a state of suspended animation when I caught a glance at the new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue for 2009.
I dunno, when girls shave it all off, not even a landing strip, it seems to take all the fun of nudity out of it. Whenever any girls come around here (and brother, do they!) with their Lady Business all smooth, it just looks like they sat in gum. They sit on my clear vinyl covered inflatable couch in the nude and when they get up it's like their lips are stuck to a frozen flagpole, there's an audible pop when they snap free.
It doesn't even look Nude without some hair to focus on. That's why I have a goatee! I want you to focus on my beautiful lips and perfect teeth and what I'm saying. And I want you to do exacting what I say!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Right now, I could eat a Girl Scout...
...Cookie, but I think I'll have a Pirouette filled with Hazelnut Chocolate, they are so good when I put them in the fridge and get them all cold!
I like them with my Vodka, too!
With the $3 I had left of my iTunes credit, from a $30 gift Steve got me, I emptied the tank with the two versions of M.I.A.'s Paper Planes and A.R. Rahman's Jai Ho from the "Slumdog Millionaire" all for 99Cents each, yay!
The music made me feel better after a rather snooty waitress upset me. I was reading the latest issue of Filmmaker Magazine and she asked me what I was reading. I told her and she goes, with eyes rolling and faux yawn, "Well we all need hobbies."
I mean, WFT? Okay, I had a few drinks... WTF?
Massive Bitch! So condescending! What attitude!
So I'm at home here all barefooted, burning incense and putting Henna-like designs on my body, but without the Henna paste, I just used a Black Sharpie, listening to Bollywood Soundtracks on Pandora.
I'm feeling better.
I can choose to Hate or I can choose to Love... I choose Love and I LOVE my Vodka!
Monday, February 23, 2009
I became Rich in 1 Day being lazy! I'll show you how, just read my...
...story here:
"One day I was being lazy and just thought I should change my name to, 'Rich' instead of 'Sexy-Meat,' as the ladies like to call me."
There, that's my Secret to becoming Rich!
Please send me money by clicking the Donate Button on http://www.jerrylentz.com
Oh... I was supose to have you send me the money before I told you how I became Rich.
Dammit!!!
It's too late to change it, I've already posted this!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
I was saddened by AMC's editing of Film Independent's 2009 Spirit Awards and...
...I know they had to take out the F-Bombs, but they completely lost so many wonderful moments in Mickey Rourke's speech and other stuff.
I'm glad I have IFC and I hope they keep it all intact in the rebroadcasts. It makes paying my cable bill a little easier knowing that there's still some cool programming.
Please join Jerry Lentz in a condensed version of Film Independent's 2009 Spirit Awards with news items and personal notes thrown into the mix.The Jerry Lentz Podcast on iTunes!
Friday, February 20, 2009
My New Cult, the one built to worship me, seems to be...
...collapsing!
I believe it started today when I woke up. I was achy. My muscles were so sore. Must have been from wrestling with my demons in my sleep.
Then for some reason about 300 "Followers" of mine on Twitter were suddenly gone! I'm hoping it was just a glitch in the system and not some mass exit.
But it still troubled me and I believe set in motion what became a rather crappy day.
There was a bee in my shower!
How's that? Middle of Winter and a big bee in my shower! Isn't that some sign? Doesn't that signify the coming of Pazuzu, King of the demons of the wind, the bearer of storms and drought, has arrived to shower at my pad?
I'm not playing with the Ouija board tonight, Captain Howdy!
My podcast is still growing, the stats reflect a steady increase in downloads, more that I would have expected, that made me happy!
I should have stayed happy if only I wasn't having so many problems, like the Internet going out, computer crashes and then I stubbed my toes and walked into the door to my studio and bruised my head.
Oh, the troubles!
I wish you could kiss it and make it all better for me. I wish you were here to rub Vaseline all over my heinie and tell me that it's special and different.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
I had a thing called the Las Vegas... Jesus Jumping Gymnastics, that was awesome!
I don't know what all was in it, but you could tell me it was the brains of small cute defenseless cherubs from heaven caught in nets and I'd say, "Give me more!" It was that good!
I could eat that everyday I think.
I've been trying to find something in life instead of food to fill the void hollowed out by the self inflicted lack of love in my existence. And I believe it's Twitter!
I've met so many interesting people on Twitter trying to sign me up to what ever scam they are hustling. There are also a few that are just neat fun people, actually I think there are two, but I'm one of them. Still, Twitter completes me in a weird way.
It's like sex, but with eyestrain.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I don't speak French and might have a bit of difficulty as learning English has been so tough for me. I might have a learning disability! I might even be slightly retarded.
My friends, Misha and Micheal even found me an apartment in the building next to where they live, they love it and have sent me pictures. It's small and there's a giant spiral staircase in the building and it's very old and I bet haunted. They told me that at one time Jean Luc Goddard lived there, but they may just be saying that. I need proof of this guys!
I wonder how I could make that happen, moving to Paris?
Those that I know that live there don't seem to work. Micheal, sorry dude, I think is a Trust Fund Baby. I know he has produced music and commercials, but... And Misha, well money rains down on her. I remember eating pizza with her and a guy walked up to us and asked her to model in a toothpaste print ad. Right out of the Blue! And she acts like it's no big deal. It's like the road rises with her.
Who am I kidding? How would I survive in Paris? What do I have to offer La Ville-Lumière?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
They are so fun!
They really are sweet guys. Mom did a good job with those boys! Being with them in some strange way makes me feel closer to my Mom.
I miss her so much and have so much to tell her. I find myself talking to her in my head sometimes and can even imagine what she sounded like.
Monday, February 16, 2009
My dad is slipping back into a terrible state. But at least he seems controllable in his dementia. He's so lost. I too, am beginning to have troubles remembering things.
I was going to write down some of the things I have trouble remembering, but... I can't quite place them.
About to give up on eBay, I'm all signed up on a site called Bonanzle and everyone there couldn't be cooler in welcoming me. I have a booth all set up, just haven't posted anything yet.
I will soon, be selling my crap, but I'm having a blast meeting new people and looking at their booths.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
It was the Perfect Valentine's Day Night, I slowly slid her panties down...
...her long smooth legs. Gently lifted her ankles up onto my shoulders and with a firm grip on her waist, pulled her up off the couch to where she wrapped her arms around me. Her legs moved down pressing against my pulsating biceps to where her calves rested on my forearms. Her full round breasts heaving from excitement. Her nipples rubbed against the Gold chains that held the medallion that is my Zodiac symbol, Gemini. Her sweet fine ass was in my hands as I bounced her up and down while standing in the center of my Pussy Pad.
Higher and higher I threw her. Her hair spreading out in rhythmic explosions like fireworks each time the pulse of the strobe-light caught her.
There we were, I was standing nude with a beautiful nude blond with her legs wrapped around me, she was moaning and begging me not to stop, Curtis Mayfield's "Tripping Out" was on the turntable and just then this girl grabs my face in her hands and whispers, "You got my spot, baby. You mark me the deepest."
And with that, she explodes!
Then she collapsed, exhausted, wet. I laid her on the floor and stood over her looking down. Looking down at how beautiful she was and how big I was.
I moved over to the coffee table where her purse sat. I opened it up. I saw the gun, a Kahr E9. In her boot was a Taurus PT111 and a blade, this bitch knew her shit!
I dumped her purse onto the table. Her two fake passports, lock picks, lipstick, a thick roll of Hundreds and a Tampon rolled out.
Don't know who she thinks she's fooling, but it ain't me!
I bolt into the kitchen, grab a roll of Black duct tape out of a drawer and move back into the room. I peel off the end of tape and wrap it around this chick's ankles. I flip her over and pull her wrists together behind her back. I stand up. I lift the needle up and back a few tracks to, "Move On Up" and then tape her wrists back to her ankles. She turned her face to me. Hair all wet against her blushed cheeks and swollen Red lips.
"How did you know it was me?" She asked in a defeated low voice.
I couldn't help looking at that beautiful ass all round up in the air and her legs bent back, back arched, arms pulled back, "Look sugar, any fine momma come tell me she loves my podcast and she has advertisers ready to buy time... And she's got two fake passports both saying you're from Geneva. Sista, I put Two and Two together and it adds up to you."
"What are you going to do with me?
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Music today is by the amazing, William Edge:
http://www.soundsblue.com/
Cable out, internet out, what to do? Knock myself out! I drank and went to sleep! Woke up and couldn't get my laptop to work either!
What is going on?
I need a backup plan, a backup laptop, I need a backup everything, back up car, back up career, back up the Brinks truck please!
Had Sushi with my brother, we had Eel, Samuri roll, California roll, he was all dressed up in a new white shirt, then sure enough spilled sauce on it. Best part? He paid...
AWESOME!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Mean ol' Zombies!!!
Music today is Comandante Zero:
http://www.comandantezero.com
Please check them out!
I was getting tired of putting these shows and posts together right before midnite, so I just jumped in to make this new action-packed podcast. Yesterday was so crappy, I just wanted to get this day going!
I had a terrifying dream about Zombies last night!
It seemed so real. My dad in the hospital and I was trying to find him and there were dead bodies everywhere from a tornado that hit a local Military Research Lab. I guess something splattered onto everyone and got churned up in the clouds causing people to become Zombies when it rained down on them!
A doctor ran up with an ax all panicked, he looked at me and said, "Your clothes are wet! I'm going to have to kill you now!"
I of course, began running!
The scariest part was feeling a loose tooth in my mouth and reaching in with my fingers and all the teeth coming apart like Mahjong Tiles. I take it that's what happens to you when you become a zombie in my dream.
All the raining in the dream made me have to wake up and go pee, so I thought, while I'm up I might as well get some work done.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Somedays it just doesn't pay... Whatever.
Music in today's show is from a cool band called, 46 Bliss:
They've had music on shows like, "Veronica Mars" and "CSI-NY" and now my show!
The podcast recording and basically the whole day sucked! I had to record the show over and over because of computer crashes, then the internet would go out, power would go out...
I think problems with my computers also happened when as a treat for all the hard work I have been doing with the podcast and getting the show up and running and out there, I got a gift from Steve in LA of $30 to use on iTunes, so I bought some episodes from, "Star Trek: The Original Series Remastered" of "The Menagerie," "Where No Man Has Gone Before," "City on the Edge of Forever," "The Doomsday Machine" and the documentary "Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired"... I got that cause I used to work with the girl that directed it.
Now my machine is crawly by so slowly...
Times are getting really rough!
Sirius XM Radio Inc. has been working with its advisers to prepare for bankruptcy. More layoffs in the book publishing world has hit HarperCollins.
Books and Radio, NOT safe to be in right now.
I can't wait to see, "Inglourious Basterds" Entertainment Tonight premiered the first trailer earlier this evening, awesome!
Checkout these fun websites!
Tomb it may Concern:
http://david-z.blogspot.com/
Vault of Horror:
http://thevaultofhorror.blogspot.com/
Today was such a crappy day, these blogs picked up my spirits, but I'm just gonna have to lay my head down and cry myself to sleep.
Monday, February 09, 2009
How I escaped a Hot Chocolate Lock-Up!
Music on today's radio show is by one of my favorite bands, The Green from San Antonio, Texas, Carlos Santiago and Anne Noel
http://www.listentothegreen.com/
Also on the podcast; Make money selling books online, teen girls get abducted, UFOs, Aliens, Diana Gabaldon, Outlander, Ghost Catcher, Mysterious Universe, Obama, Iran, Sci-Tech Oscars, Jessica Biel, Pixar, Ed Catmull, Academy Awards, Orange British Academy Film Awards, Danny Boyle, Diane Keaton, Chris Brown, Rihanna, Lil' Kim, Shawn Johnson, Lawrence Taylor, Dancing With the Stars, DreamWorks, Disney, Cartoon Network...
How can you NOT listen?
Tonight I was reading the new issue of Filmmaker Magazine in a cafe I like, reading about the film, "Baghead" which I want to see, and the place was empty except for me. I'm just reading away lost in the article and suddenly the lights go out!
I look around.
I'm guessing the power is out.
Finally I get up and see the girl who works there, outside with her bag and coat leaving to go home, walking to her car! I get to the door, but it's locked! I bang on the door really loud and she turns and stares at me for a bit then runs back. She unlocks the door and starts apologizing really fast. She checks the alarm. She evidently set it before she left me there.
She said it had been a long night, but it would've been longer for me, because I wouldn't have been able to get out.
Sunday, February 08, 2009
I put what up my nose? That can't be right!
Blogs are responding to my Podcast Radio Show and that's just awesome!
Here's a couple I talked about tonight:
Lady, that's my Skull
http://thatsmyskull.blogspot.com/
This has a great post a few days back that's about an old ad in some magazine that offers a course for women to learn how to become Witches!
The ad is real and it's real awesome too!
Also talked about:
Smart Bitches, Trashy Books
http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com
This site has a great post about men who read romance books. I have to admit I'm one of them! Smart Bitch Sarah say's "Men who read romance are among the hottest men around."
I get in so much trouble with friends because I love those "Bridget Jones" movies, "Jane Austin," "The L Word," "Sex and the City," Tyler Perry movies... But I also dig slasher films and I just bought the DVD to Zack Snyders "Dawn of the Dead" for $3 at Big Lots!!! So there, I'm a man and I'm proud of it!
I was listening to my local NPR station and chillin' to "Hearts of Space," it's one of my fav shows:
http://www.hos.com/
Check out their music, just fantastic!
Ever think you're drinking one thing, then discover it's something else, like you're drinking Mountain Dew and then it turns out to be a glass of milk?
Once I was getting ready to brush my teeth and I found the most bitter taste in my mouth and it turns out I had squeezed out some liquid handsoap onto my toothbrush, yuk!
Well, I've been having difficulty lately, this last 6 months, breathing here where I live, allergies I guess, but a pharmacist got me the greatest nasal spray that seriously helps me breathe better than before. I had to use it every few hours, but then I read that it could be addictive, so instead of keeping it close by, I put it in a drawer in the bathroom, so it would take some effort to get to it.
So, I woke up last night unable to breathe, I fumbled my way through the darkness to the bathroom pulled open the drawer grabbed the nasal spray put it up my nose and squeezed, but no spray, then it was like my nose was bleeding, it was all gooey, so in a panic I flipped on the light to see that instead of sticking the nose spray up my nose I had inserted the applicator tip of a tube of Preparation H.
Yikes!
But at least my nose isn't itching or burning!
Saturday, February 07, 2009
I slept all day, now I'm ready to Party and Get Down On It! Can you come and pick me up?
A giant meteor, or meteorite, or comet, or something has crashed to Earth in a parking lot in Springfield, Missouri. Is it radioactive? Why is it so cold to the touch? Why is it so dirty? What secrets about the Universe can it tell us?
Music today in my Podcast (that you should be listening to RIGHT NOW!!!) is by the AWESOME, Repose:
http://www.reposemusic.com/flash_index.html
Also a look at Groovy Age of Horror:
http://groovyageofhorror.blogspot.com/
Retrospace:
http://my-retrospace.blogspot.com/
Happy B'Day, Alejandro Jodorowsky:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alejandro_Jodorowsky
I miss you already, Lux... The Cramps:
Yvonne DeCarlo:
http://nosmokingintheskullcave.blogspot.com/
Jesus Franco:
http://robertmonell.blogspot.com/
Hope you are having a great day!
Friday, February 06, 2009
Saw the future of Tee Vee and it was ME!
Watched the DVD copy of the pilot for "The Ghost Catcher" in which I appear and I have to say, "I Rocked it!"
Hopefully, more television projects will be available to me in the coming weeks. What I will not do is work on TV sets, hang flat screens on your wall, or help hook up Digital Converter Boxes for you, but if you want me to perform, like a trained monkey... Let's talk.
Still haven't heard about the SciFi Channel series, that the producer I talked with when I was out in Los Angeles, he was so hot for me to do the show. It's all, "Hurry Up and Wait," in Hollywood.
The podcast show is building and I'm getting some great email from listeners. Some real big industry types too! Nice comments and ideas about the show keep coming in, like adding music. I wanted to go an Indie route with some music. Here's the music I used in today's show:
"Song of Himeropa" by More Human Than Human
http://www.morehuman-thanhuman.com/morehuman-thanhuman/Hello.html
"Mindfields" by Windmill
http://www.garageband.com/artist/windmill
"Nocturne" by Ekho
http://www.myspace.com/335dave
If you like Ambient Music like me, I think you'll dig their work!
Please don't forget to Subscribe to the Podcast, it's Free!
http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=304095539
Thursday, February 05, 2009
I didn't have to show any cleavage or even blow the Cop to get out of getting a ticket!
I drove over 800 Miles today!
Drove my brother to the VA Hospital in Arkansas for some kind of major thing where he was all drugged up on the way back. I picked him up at 7am and dropped him off at about 8pm, I think. My back was killing me still, but as hard as I tried to find some Nurse, or some Doctor, hell, I even asked some old Vets, to score me some painkillers, but no luck.
We got pulled over by a Cop on the way back. Great, my brother is high as a kite and I get stopped!
Using my Special Powers, I broke the ice with the young Police Officer by say, "We are Not the Droids you're looking for."
It went right past him. Not even a flinch of an expression.
Yet, maybe it did work, cause he let me go without so much as a warning! Cool!
I was going to ask him if he'd let me shoot off a few rounds of ammo from his service revolver, but thought that might be pushing it with the Jedi Mind Tricks.
I'm so tired! Did my podcast, but I'll warn you in advance, it sucks. And then my internet went down so I couldn't upload it. I thought about deleting it just to protect you from it, but I just went to sleep.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Couldn't upload the podcast! Couldn't download any porn! Couldn't watch any crazy cat videos on YouTube!
Dull, Dull, Dull...
So I pulled out my Ouija board and tried to communicate with the Spirits of dead movie-makers of old Hollywood!
But I think all I got was an old Hollywood Agent, he was just the same as living Hollywood Agents, he wouldn't talk to me either!
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
...on my block!
My New Podcast is up and I got special segments like "Daily Vents," "Hollywood Buzz," "Area 69," and "Fist Full of Dollars" that show you how to make money, deal with anger, understand celebrity and overcome trauma from having sex with aliens.
Already emails and reviews and comments like:
"...well made. It's already a millions times better than most of the crap out there!"
Then:
"...sounded great. Very amusing stuff. As far as The Secret... Hmmm... My ex used to work for a touchy feely new age church that had some connection with the Secret, was always pushing that shit. Anyplace that would hire a soul-snatching bitch like her, well, how holy can they be? Maybe I am spiritually bankrupt, but I'll take Godzilla movies any day for self improvement over that stuff."
And:
"Not much to enGlish, but hered you on computer class in Lodz not far in home Poland. I attend University of Lodz and found show in libray serch. You have amazingly voice and tatoo. You have sexy laff. Don't all know what you have say but most like it. I feel I most far from you away. Hope more shows you do have."
Don't know if that's a guy or a girl, but they must be listening to someone else because I never said I had a tattoo.
Also, a cool new video, Ice Eyes Baby!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6b1aK21jNw
My back is killing me again! I'm typing this while laying on my back on the floor, laptop on my belly... If you live near me and have access to drugs, please contact me!
Monday, February 02, 2009
David Lynch's latest Wife is HOT! Oh, and I'm on iTunes now!!!

Hope I don't make anyone over at DavidLynch.com angry after this, (especially after the fantastic treat that the DVD "Lynch" the documentary is) but people have been asking me about the new gal since Lynch's 1st wife was Peggy Lentz. I think this 26 year old girl (I think she's 26) is pretty amazing.
In "Inland Empire" she's the one so proud of her breast she shows the other girls.
I want so bad to be an Artist/Filmmaker!
I don't know how he met her, maybe online, in a chatroom, maybe in casting, but she obviously is very talented!
There is a short film Lynch did with her and another amazingly hot actress in a backyard sitting in lawn chairs staring at the sky and bursting out into song. Forgot the title, but she's better in that than even "Inland Empire" and I thinks she's amazing in that.
Very excited to announce that the Jerry Lentz Podcast is now up on iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=304095539
With a New episode, "'The Daily Vents' with 'The World Famous Jerry Lentz' using his humorous insight to look at the the world of film, technology, spirituality and includes Area 69, stories of alien sexual encounters."
Please subscribe and please leave a nice comment if you can. Now-a-days it seems the only people that take the time to comment are people that suck and just want to hurt others. Meanies!
I swear the shows will get better, I'm still learning all this new software and equipment. Just hang with me!
Sunday, February 01, 2009
See the pretty Blue box to the Left on the sidebar of, http://www.jerrylentz.com (?) well that's my new podcast thingy!
This 1st podcast for the month is just a test to see how GCast and some new equipment I have work together. You can listen here, subscribe through iTunes, or however you get podcasts, so please listen and know the shows will get better and be more fun.
I'm gonna try to do a podcast a day... we'll see how that goes, but I'm hopeful.
Hope the sound quaility is good, if not please let me know, or just let me know you can hear it. I'd love to hear how far away you are, where you live and how you're listening to me. I'll have stats, but getting a personal email from you would be great! I'll mention you in the next podcast if you let me know.
This is so cool and I'm so excited to be podcasting again!
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