...interest and fame!
The Producers of A&E's "My Ghost Story" are flying me back to Los Angeles next week to talk about my ghost experiences and the Haunting of the Coral Cafe in Burbank.
Here's what the series looks like:
Have to admit I'm a little excited. The people involved in the show seem awesome and the woman I've been talking with is amazing. I can't wait to meet them.
The other night I had a dream where I was walking in a park and everyone that I strolled past were so nice and friendly. Then talking to a man who walked with me, he explained everyone there was dead and just waiting to be moved to a new location.
This was very emotional to me. I asked him if my father was there and he told me I had just missed him, but that my mother was sitting on a bench on the other end of the park waiting for me and reading a magazine while drinking ice tea.
The man went on and told me there was a path I should take through the park because it was made for me and that there are those who were still waiting that have stories they're wanting to tell me.
He said there are three people on the path whose stories have yet to be told and if I chose to tell them, I would gain some fame from it. That fame would allow me the opportunity to afford uncovering two additional stories few people will care about, however a small unknown family need desperately to hear, and these two stories would change the course of numerous people for the better from events that have yet to happen.
He wrote something on a piece of paper and slid it in my pocket. Stepping down alone into the dark wooded path I pulled out the paper and it was just symbols I couldn't read. It was fuzzy and out of focus. I had somehow while trying to read the note walked off the path and was deep in dark forest lost.
Then I woke up.
Maybe this opportunity will lead to me doing my own show, having my own series, or maybe my books will be published. I don't know. Maybe some window is opening for me now. Some new language being learned. Some path being made.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
The Dead are the cause of this...
Monday, March 30, 2009
I've found the source of Free Energy and it's in...

...the Female Orgasm!
The sign couldn't be more important!
I was reading Ryuichi Kaneko and Dr. Kunio Kitamura, authors of "Sex no Subete ga Wakaru Hon" and they said, "The entire (Female) brain emits theta waves when women reach an orgasm that are close to 10 times stronger than when men climax. So, if theta waves are an indication of an orgasm's strength, then women experience an orgasm that is physically impossible for men to go through. Putting it a little crudely, if the intensity of a woman's orgasm was played through a man's brain, there's a danger that the shock to his system would kill him."
That's how I want to die!
Also, the sole purpose of the male honeybee is to mate with a young queen. When the male, Drone honeybee finally gets his chance to mate with a Queen, her orgasm is so strong the electric charge produced in her tiny vajayjay rips his sex organ out and he spirals to his death.
That's not how I want to die.
Here's what I'm thinking:
The energy required to create these powerful theta waves in the female human is a not insignificant burst of energy that could be tapped using convention scientific and medical procedures. Women could be placed in beds lined in a facility or Render Farm and harvested to supply energy through their orgasms. Just like the house with a windmill or solar panels, payments from the utility company to the home owner when they feed the grid, these Farms with say a 1000 Women in every community being paid a fee to be stimulated either mechanically or by human interaction and brought to orgasm. Their energy burst captured and released once converted from DC to AC.
If you think this sounds coarse, think about how we could be saving the children of the future. Saving the Earth and all it's wildlife. These women could stop global warming! These women would be heroes! These women's cootches could be the free cold fusion/fuel cell/thing-a-ma-bob we've been looking for!
These women could be anonymous. Each bed could be concealed in a small room or dorm-like setting. Unattractive women need not be excluded as the equipment used in mechanical stimulation has no prejudice.
That said, the facility would need to cover start up costs in building and infrastructure, but that could be easily provided by fee based webcams to the dorm rooms to the more attractive women.
Lesbian women would be like having twice the power and should be rewarded, as long as they are "Lipstick Lesbians."
This would be the perfect way to stimulate the economy! This could provide a nice and safe income for the young female college student, or homemaker who might be referred to as a MILF. Being that medical stimulation would be akin to masturbation, the lonely housewife should feel no guilt while providing this important civil duty while being married.
If you feel you're ready to help the Earth move into a new era and save the planet, please send me a full body nude photo (for Medical purposes only) to my email address.
Saturday night I was doing my part for Earth Hour 2009!
Me and folks in 88 countries in every time zone turned off or lowered their lights for one hour as part of a campaign to highlight the threat from global warming.
Got drunk so I slept through it, but all my power was out anyway cause I blew a fuse earlier when a friend tried to demonstrate her Sybian for a video advertisement she wanted me to shoot and I had to converts a two-prong grounded wall plug to a three-prong outlet for the machine. It didn't work, so she left and I went to bed.
Earth Day is on the way and I suppose I should repost my "Angry Blue Planet" videos, ya know, for the kids.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KDGE
Always wanted to make it to Wikipedia without writing it myself. I'm afraid of when those that don't like me start editing my history.
Been thinking of driving up to Tennessee, to where my mom's buried. There's huge reunion in a month or two, but that might be difficult for me because it'll be crowded in that little coal mining town. Maybe this is something I should go do myself, for myself. I haven't seen her grave since her funeral and now that dad's dead maybe it'll make me feel better to go spend some time with her.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Australian is the New Black. I used to want to be Black when I was younger, but not so much anymore. Now I would have liked to be an Aussie back in the 70s and 80s when they were making cool movies!
That just looks like a great time! I have several friends in LA that have already seen it with Q&As with the filmmakers and they said they had a blast. I don't know when I will get to see it, but I doubt it will be around here.
I remember one episode of Globe Trekker TV Shows: Outback Australia with host, Ian Wright going to the town of Kununurra where he work at a bar man during a Bachelors and Spinsters Ball. Everyone looked like they were having fun and they seemed pretty friendly.
The Aussie girls I've met are pretty outrageous. One time in Dallas and I had one of my usual parties and a friend from the Dallas Theatre Center brought her Aussie girlfriend with her and as the party reached morning time the girl borrowed my electric clippers and shaved the head of a guy she had a crush on but who was passed out drunk on her. Later he woke up and left and didn't even notice his hair was gone until he got home, and boy was he pissed!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Got to the theater early and bought both tickets thinking the huge crowd might affect my chances, but it was all for "Monsters vs Aliens" so there were a hundred screaming kids for that.
It was raining and snow was coming so I stood inside the lobby looking out the window waiting for my brother. I waited and waited. The show was about to start, so I left a ticket for him and gave the ticket taker a detailed description of what my brother might look like. My memory is very short. He might have change since I last saw him.
Walked in the theater a little upset my brother wasn't showing up, the trailers had already started, a bad sign, and there he was saving a seat for me!
How did he sneak past me?
Put my coat down and raced back out to cash in the ticket I had waiting for him because I knew as soon as the movie started they wouldn't refund, but I got the money back.
Still loved the movie, but I think he may have thought the film was too long and he said he felt the middle section lost him. However he did like the movie!
Then we had Mexican food and I got drunk, went home and slept the day away. Life is good.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Who Watches the Crotches?

In celebration of my Podcast's 30th episode, (Go Listen, or you are letting the Terrorists Win!) I'm thinking I might go "Watchmen" again this weekend!
But how did I really enjoy the special occasion? Organized my underwear! Yay! I got these old comfortable ones where the elastic is gone, but they're soft and nice, I like to sleep in them. I got brand new ones too, but they are all separated in the drawer like Lifers in a prison when the new fresh meat underwear comes in, all clean and new from the store, the old wore out underwear thinks they own the drawer, so I don't want them to mix and mingle. You gotta keep them separated cause I don't want a riot in my pants. I might just execute the old death row underwear ones to the trash. It's sad. Dead Drawers Walking!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
People can be such assholes!
After the sweet post yesterday, so many people tried to take the piss out of it by making fun of me. Many looked at it as an opportunity to make me do what they want me to do, to use my new found power of good against me, to bring me down and kill my buzz. People will love you until you don't do what they want then they'll turn on you. They'll tell you you're being mean because you can say, "No." Or, "I don't want to." And even saying, "I don't know," will cause their systems to crash. Can't you smile and still say, No?
"But you are so nice, how can you be so mean to me, can't you just do what I want?"
It's like that scene in "Platoon" where Charlie Sheen goes apeshit because some gook is smiling. How can he be smiling in all this horror? You get taken for being weak if you are happy. You become a target. I use to work at a place on a street where just walking out to get lunch you were constantly hassled by hucksters hustling you for change or CDs of their rap group, so I started doing a thing where I acted crazy, crazy stare, crazy walk, talking to myself, twisting up my arm like a birth defect, limping, slight drooling, all this just to go get a slice of pizza. People leave you alone if they think you're crazy. But it's just as tiring to act crazy as it is trying to be happy.
One day I meet this girl who ran a boutique on the same street getting pizza and trying to make my moves on her she told me, "What, are you like Kevin Spacey in 'Usual Suspects,' you're acting normal now, I thought you were insane?" Seems she would see me everyday walking by her shop like Ratso Rizzo.
I remember being with a friend and we saw Dr. Wayne Dyer getting ready to record some pledge drive plug at KCET in Hollywood and my friend was staring off into space and I asked, "What are you thinking?" and he said, "I wonder what it would be like to walk up to him and punch him right in the nuts? No one would ever expect it. It'd be like depantsing Gandhi." And this guy LOVED Dr. Wayne Dyer!
It's like David Lynch says in the awesome documentary, "Lynch," "Einstein man, what a burden it must have been being surrounded by a bunch of fucking morons!"
Still, I'm going to do my best to make it through this day with a smile and without getting AIDS.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Change your heart...
...look around you. Change your heart. It will astound you.
Recently
several emails have arrived saying I have made some upset and even
caused some close to me cry. For that I am very sorry. It has been so
rough for me lately, but that is not my excuse.
Laying in bed in the dark thinking of all that I've said and done, I was listening to Esther Hicks and the collective known as "Abraham" speak through her, they said,
"How do I get from where I am, to where I want to be? And the Answer
is; Look in the direction of where you want to be. Speak in the
direction of where you want to be. And never again look back over your
shoulder about where you have come from."
That jumped out at me and a soft loving voice in my head told me, "This is about YOU."
So what am I happy about right now in my life?
I am happy I am healthy.
I am happy I am still young.
I am happy living in a nice place inexpensively.
I am happy doing my podcasts.
I am happy doing my voice work.
I am happy making videos.
I am happy writing everyday.
I am happy that great ideas come to me.
I am happy with the many growing talents I possess.
I am happy knowing even more great things are coming my way.
I am happy my computer has made it this long serving me.
I am happy everyday more and more people discover me through my work, writing or podcast.
I am happy I make new friends from all over the world.
I am happy for the Friends I have.
I am happy for the Family I have.
I am happy you are taking the time to read this.
If I've ever been mean or sarcastic, it is not you, it's because I didn't feel I deserved love.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
My work will be seen on National TV again!

I just licensed my footage of ghosts from Coral Cafe in Burbank to A&E for their series, "My Ghost Story" I don't know when it will air, but I'm very excited!
Maybe the Biography Channel will let me interview Famous Ghosts?
http://tinyurl.com/dgukov
Again I have been in more talks about getting my own series, but having my face and body subjected to Focus Groups is more painful for me than it is for the folks paid $25 to sit in a room and look at video of me and judge how fuckable I am by twisting knobs with arrows pointing to a Plus or a Minus sign.
There is so much money in television! It's recession-proof, if I can get back in for a longer haul. I'd love to get picked up for a Science Fiction series so that after a few seasons I can go to conventions and make money signing 8X10s, but I really want a Ghost/UFO Travel Series where I and a few Supermodels explore exotic locations and eat wonderful foods and drive sports cars and fire off expensive weapons in foreign lands.
Monday, March 23, 2009
One night in Paris will wipe the smile off your pretty face
My Parisian friend Laurent sent me audio of Woody Allen speaking French cause Laurent knows I like him and that I'm learning French, so he can take me around Paris and I won't embarrass him to all his friends. He says Woody's French is horrible. It may be true, but he is still loved there no matter how he mangles their language. Laurent is my Professor Higgins from the play "My Fair Lady" he will make sure I fit in with the classy Parisians.
I'm learning French from Michel Thomas just like Woody, but Laurent says I should learn from who ever taught Jodie Foster because her French is magnifique! But I think she learned French at Yale, so my chances of getting her teacher is pretty slim.
This is how I imagine Paris, but you know, without all the Hitler stuff.
http://tinyurl.com/dfzwow
I like to think Laurent will try telling me a new joke and he will introduce me to Louise Brooks and we'll take a taxi to the Fair just like in the film "Pris de Beaute."

Sunday, March 22, 2009
Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole.
Dreamed Diane Lane was telling me how after making the movie "Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains" that she could have been in a real punk band and even was upset that they didn't use her voice when singing in the film, "Streets of Fire." She went on telling me personal stuff while painting a portrait of me.
She told me how she thought Richard Gere was a sissy boy for crying when he met the Dalai Lama, but then she added, "I cried over Bon Jovi." She said I would be Nic Cage's best friend cause we were a little bit alike.
I walked down the beach with the painting. The waves crashing. I held up the canvas and could see it was me, but that it was a "Paint-By-Numbers" deal and the wind blown sand was peeling off the paint. I sat down on some rocks next to an old man with a long white beard who was fishing. He looked and smiled at me. Instantly I felt at ease and even felt good, like he was someone I knew many lives ago and have missed so much.
He turned to me and clearing his throat said in his high pitched voice, "The true portrait you seek is now being painted in that house over there." I looked but saw nothing, just more beach.
"Your portrait is being painted now. They will never finish it. The paint will never dry. It is being painted by children and please understand, and don't be upset, they are retarded." I heard my name whispered in my ear and I jolted awake.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Untitled
My life is changing now, though I'm not at all sure what a life really and truly is. Maybe it will be like a graphic novel. Maybe I can make it whatever it needs to be. Eliminate and ignore those from my life that cause me stress and difficulty. Tearing out pages where characters repeat the same old questions over and over and cause the same old story to stall and become boring and repetitious. They can be erased from my pages. Tear out the pages where I took a wrong turn, or where I want to be free but can't. Tear out the pages and let them be carried in the air on a cool breeze. Tear my pages free.
My life can be in more colors than the Gray and Black world I've lived. Maybe my life can finally be my Art, where I am making it up as I go along instead of letting people splatter me with their graffiti. A place where I can be displayed in my gallery or my museum for my pleasure, free of the affects of criticism or judgment of those who don't exist or matter to me.
You are welcome to look and enjoy, but it's not for sale and if you don't dig it, keep it to yourself and move on. Love it or shut up and leave it.
Friday, March 20, 2009
It occurred to me the other day that if I move away now from my family, it will be the last time I will ever see them.
I know this is true because when I lived on the West Coast they never came to visit me when there were opportunities for them to do so. They chose drives to other far away locations instead.
So with that weighing on me and the knowledge that it's easier for them to do things with their wives and partners and in-laws and such than to find time for me while I'm in this area, What's the point of me staying here?
I've grown beyond tired of the questions; What are you going to do now? What's your plan? What are you thinking?
If you ask me anything like these questions, you will not hear from me ever again. You do not need to know the answer to these! Your life can't be based on the answers. The answers are meaningless and unreliable.
When I leave this time, I will not come back. It is over. My Dad's wishes were to not to have funeral services, but go ahead and have services for me, because I will not be seen again in person. Go eat at a cafeteria, a hotdog in a gas station, an all you can eat deep fried buffet and raise a glass of Sweet Tea, or some Aspartame laced high fructose corn syrup diet soda and think warmly of me and all the times you missed out.
Put my face on a carton of milk. Ignore my Amber Alert. Turn away from my Times Square billboard, let it all go unnoticed. I will be as a ghost, a voice on the phone at best, a phantom image in pictures when one makes the effort to view this page, a card on holidays...
I'm as good as dead to you.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
How hot is she...

...the flame you can't touch, but whose heat you can still feel long after it has been extinguished?
She once said, "I have a gift for enraging people, but if I ever bore you, it will be with a knife."
Today I watched G.W. Pabst's 1929 German classic, "Pandora's Box" again. Louise Brooks stars as Lulu, a young vaudeville performer so sexy everyone is doomed when they fall for her. The ending is a real tough one. You just can't be nice to Jack the Ripper! Amazing film!
Then I watched this great documentary about the silent film legend narrated by Shirley MacLaine and produced by Hugh Hefner for TCM:
She was born Nov 14, 1906(1906-11-14)in Cherryvale, Kansas, sexually abused at 9 causing her to be incapable of love, and that incident as she said, "must have had a great deal to do with forming my attitude toward sexual pleasure." When she told her mother what had happened, her mother believed that it must have been Louise's fault for "leading that poor man on." How horrible is that?
She became a huge International Star, doing what she wanted to do when she wanted to, could have had it all, but threw it all away. Then Hollywood wanted her no more and she moved back to small town Kansas to operate a dance studio, it didn't work out so she went to New York City and then after a brief stint working in radio, became a prostitute and tried to kill herself.
Then French film historians and film fans rediscovered her and she turned it all around by becoming a really great writer. She really changed the world in many ways. She influenced so many people.
My whole day was spent watching movies and reading books. I made PB&J's and ate in my PJ's. When my eyes grew tired, I closed them and listened to Michel Thomas teach me French. Parlez lentement.
It was a good day for me!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Looks like you got a pantie on your head!

I snore. I admit it. Can't hide from it. Not ashamed. Live alone. Don't care. My neighbors hear it, but they can go fuck themselves. And they do. I hear it. Our walls are thin.
I have friends that have spent Thousands of Dollars getting laser surgery, having that fleshy bobbing thing that hangs in the back of your mouth cut out, and still they snore. Money wasted. They get those continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) machines. They even get ear plugs for their bed partners so they can't hear the noise the CPAP makes.
I guess I'm pretty active in bed. I mean when I'm asleep! But thank you anyway. I wake up sometimes with my t-shirt or the sheet twisted up and wrapped around my throat, if I had one of those CPAP things with hoses and cords who knows how long I'd live.
I keep seeing these ads with this thing that wraps around your head, straps your jaw shut and supposedly keeps you from snoring, but this little thing sells for over $60, I think. Looks like you could slip a pantie over your head and it would still work. How many people have slept through the alarm clock, jump up to race to work and forgot to take off this anti-snore device?
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Time, won't leave me as I am, but...

...time won't take the boy out of this man.
Making a list today of things I want to do and things I want to get rid of in my life, and I wondered if giving up certain things will create a void that will fill up with things I want? Not material things, but other things. Ya know, "Things."
You know like how when some people give up smoking, that void is filled with performing oral sex?
Well, I was reading about a guy who loved to read books, and he'd find a passage that was important to him and he'd copy it in one of his Moleskin Notebooks, then he'd get rid of the book. He also just happens to own the same digital camera I own and when there is a schematic or some illustration from the book, he'd click to macro and snap a picture of it. Stuff comes in and he digests what he needs and the rest goes out, no clutter in his space. No hording in his world. Material things flow through like a river. Minimalist. Clean.
I'd like to be that way.
I have too many books! I love books! But what have they done for me lately?
I love DVDs, but I've done a pretty good job of moving those on.
I am back to trying to get what I need down to a backpack.
My mom used to tell me if I had a headache, clean out a closet. I'm sure she must have heard that somewhere else, but I never felt my headaches were caused by that cause I never store anything in closets.
Empty. That's what I want my space to be. Empty. God is empty just like me.
Open and ready for more abundance to flow in uncluttered. Clean and Green.
My eyes are Green so that's what I wore and I listened to the Irish band U2, but would have enjoyed a pinch or two.
Monday, March 16, 2009
You cannot escape...
...destiny by running away! True. I find that to certainly be the case.
That's a line from a movie I've seen dozens of times, but it just started on TCM and I have to watch it again! Sometimes when I'm down, or lonely, or in a rut... Hell, that's all the time... I like to watch a horror film, but sometimes I love to watch an old Silent Movie by a great director and no one was better in my mind than F.W. Murnau the genius behind one of my favorite films, "Sunrise" and the film I'm talking about now, "Nosferatu" staring Max Schreck!
This looks just great! I'm wondering if it's the Kino International "Nosferatu: The Ultimate Edition," cause it looks great to me? I've had to see some bad prints of it in the past, but this is all cleaned up.
I'm sitting in the dark, water bottle in my hand, bag of Tostito chips between my legs and I'm all into this again as if this was the first time seeing it. All the sailors on the ship, Demeter, carrying Orlok's coffins get sick from the plague, and everyone is dead but two guys. So the cool looking Wolfgang Heinz picks up a hatchet and works up the nerve to do something about it, because they're out in the middle of nowhere and they got to do something, so he decides to go down in the dark bowels of the ship and destroy the coffins, which are filled with
crawling, filthy, flea covered rats. He's cracking open these coffins and rats are pouring out, GROSS! Suddenly Orlok rises up out of his coffin and it's so horrifying and freakishly supernatural that the sailor's mind just can't take what he's seeing and the hatchet falls from his limp hand, then knowing there's no hope jumps into the sea. The captain then pointlessly ties himself to his ship's wheel as Orlok hovers over him. Awesome!
I'm telling you I've seen it a million times and seen it ripped off a million more times in other flicks, but I'm still taken with it. Simply, it's scary and it works!
There, it's over and somehow I feel better about myself, life, death, disease and I'm going to bundle up in a blanket making sure no toes are sticking out so the rats and vampires can't bite them while I partake in a little slice of death called, sleep.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Here's some magazines that will change your life or...

...at least cause you to change your underwear!
Not sure what I mean by that... I should retype it, but I've already posted this, sorry.
Nothing pleases me more that going to the bookstore and reading magazines for FREE!!! But these are worth spending money on cause they may help you through these rough economic times.
http://www.popularmechanics.com/
http://www.motherearthnews.com/
http://www.readymade.com/
http://makezine.com/
And then there's...:
http://www.pastemagazine.com/
...with their AWESOME article, "Greta Gerwig & Joe Swanberg: The Penny-Pinching Future of Indie Cinema" here:
http://tinyurl.com/cweyfw
These things could change your life!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
If you want Sexy and Cute people throwing their slutty...
...crotches and dirty tight bodies at you from all corners of the Globe, Do what I don't do!
Live the life of danger!
Live beyond your means!
Live in Hotels!
Tip Big!
Workout!
Deal in Drugs, or Weapons!
Be Infamous and be a Criminal!
But still... There are other ways. Stay tuned to this site and I'll fill you in on those other ways soon!
I was eating in a secluded part of the restaurant and a group came over also wanting anonymity. These guys were in dark suits and the women with them were gorgeous in Black tight dresses and heels. As I ate and read, "The Years of Extermination: Nazi Germany and the Jews, 1939-1945" by Saul Friedlander, I could overhear snippets of their conversation, but I don't think they saw me sitting there. It seems they were in some work of traveling boiler room thing where they scammed people by offering technical support on the use of their cellphone, then they get access codes to credit cards somehow, too. The talk was about associates of theirs who were in other markets trying to pull off similar scams. They talked in hushed whispers, but I could hear. There was also a deal where they got these lists of investors and would call them up as if they were investigating a Bernie Madoff type and tell them they needed access and passwords to accounts to try and catch the made up crook. One girl in the group laughed that Madoff and the Jon Stewart and Jim Cramer feud was the best thing to happen to them because people are scrambling and confused.
I got up to leave and there was a bit of panic from one beautiful woman sitting with them as I'm sure she knew then that I heard everything. As I walked to my car I was followed out by one young guy that was sitting with them, but when I got to my car he acted like he was getting something out of his very nice car. I sat there letting my junker warm up and he looked back over his shoulder as he went back in the building. Scary! Be careful out there people!
This isn't the way I wanted it...
...to be!
In Yesterday's post, I just want them to be Links, Not embedded players, but somehow the site I posted them from converted the links into players that just sit there with a spinning wheel as if something may load up any second, but never does.
You HAVE TO Double Click them and let them open up on their own YouTube Page!
I know a few people are just sitting there like zombies waiting, Don't be that Zombie! Be Proactive and finish the test!
Friday, March 13, 2009
Oh, by the way, I hope you lived through Friday the 13th!
Now, Let's say a Man's life IS his Work of Art!
So here's how this game works; These are YouTube videos of songs that were important to me as I was growing up. Being sad these last few weeks, but mostly today, I thought I'd relive my happy times in song. These are not in chronological order but they are Biographically in Order, if you know what I mean. These are in order of how I discovered them. Some are Years Apart. But there is a thread. It's about moments in my life/time that will be lost like tears in rain, so I thought I would preserve these moments in audio until, due to copyright infringement YouTube removes them. You can speculate on how it relates to my life, but seriously, I'm NOT sending you any messages! Okay?
Now, You have to, and I mean HAVE TO... Play and Listen to each song/Video in it's entirety. Because they are important to what makes me, ME. If you are to understand me, you must get it. To get it, you must hear it and Listen and try to understand. Think with your Heart and your Head!
I am not going to label these songs. You will most likely open one up, see what it is and go, "I'm not playing this!" But you will lose out! You MUST LISTEN to each and EVERY Song! Sometimes the smallest lyric will link to another lyric in another song and that will create an image in the mind of the most observant friend and fill them in on the Mystery that is Me, Jerry Lentz!
Some of you will Get It instantly once all the songs are through, others may scratch their heads and wonder what they missed. "Is he that Abstract?"
Also, maybe it isn't the lyric that is the connective tissue, It may be the Time and Era or feeling, or even something else.
It may not be something that can be expressed in words, but these songs and artists do represent part of what I am. At least a small sampling of what I am about at this moment. Good or Bad.
Also, some songs require the Artist(S) to do some tuning up before the actual song, that's not part of the test!
Some videos are from concerts in certain locations, some are simply from the album with no video performance, this may make a difference to the test!
Please sit back and relax, if you can, and enjoy these songs as if I were playing them for you in your space. Clear your head and act if you were hearing these songs for the First time. Some of these songs may be the First time you've heard them, others you may think you are overly familiar with, but I guarantee you in this context, they are all brand new!
Now clink on these, close your eyes and let the sound take you away!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84Mz7vL-G8s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jek6iP6AuAQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-q4foLKDlcE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InOjdeQqQFA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glFXlrYFLbI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4RbErI_p1M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aQ98sq48gg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9ZwzVp1fXs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXpVq1hfRmM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQx6YJnF7t8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIiWBPdhPH8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtqy4DTHGqg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnYU3urRj3Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GB8X61ZiNRY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJONY9FndlU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-LIEr43_wk
I got a streetlight right in my balls...
...but no one said life as a billboard supermodel would be easy.
That photo of me is the one Gays always comment on, in a complementary way, I suppose. I'll take a complement wherever I can get it these days!
I wish I were prettier and younger, oh and smarter, however I'd trade them all for more money, cause if you have money you're instantly attractive and you certainly don't need brains to have money, just look at how people invest. If you had a lot of money you could buy into "Life Extension" so when you're clinically-dead they can put you into a cryogenic chamber to be awakened in the future when cures may be available. Live your life until then in a "Lucid Dream" and if in some dream you're banging a crazy psycho chick who just happens to be the saddest girl to ever to hold a martini and she says, "Don't you know that when you sleep with someone, your body makes a promise whether you do or not?" Then she tries to kill you, so you can just not sleep with anyone ever again, or you can call for Tech Support.
"TECH SUPPORT!!!"
Seems not a day goes by that I'm not screaming that in my head!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Some Magazines are AMAZING...
...I bet not 5 Minutes passed after posting about my Father's Death, before I received the 1st Condolence Email, and of all people/places it was from...? Penthouse Magazine! Seriously! That would have made my dad happy! So thank you, my new friend at Penthouse Magazine! That just sold a magazine, I'll buy one just for that, maybe even subscribe after the Inheritance is divvied up! That's what Dad would have wanted.
I also want to thank Aaron Smith, Steve Kellener, Tracy Buchanan, Kathy Coe, Cindy Rippe, Jamie Turner, Denise Eldred, ShowbizGirl, Jerome Jackson, Lynn Hasty, Jessica Palmer, Paul Riddell, Megan Gould, David Lynch, Andrea Richardson Harris, IFC, David Hudson for helping me get through this with their sweet and caring thoughts and wishes.
Somehow, I guess with the stress, I threw my back out again. The chairs at the Hospital weren't all that comfortable, either. Maybe the change in weather. I dunno. But I'm in serious pain and in need of the Morphine I so begged the Nurses for when they were pumping it into dad.
I was hoping to do a podcast today, but I doubt I can move from this spot on the floor I'm typing this from. It took all my manly strength to clear the trash away for my body to fall to a fairly clean spot on the carpet, but the pizza box that's under me allows me to slide around to the TV Remote, water bottle, bag of Tostitos and this laptop.
It's like I'm Break Dancing on cardboard in slow motion.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
About 40 minutes ago my father died...
...and I guess it really hasn't hit me yet, even though I've been waiting for it and sitting near him every night for over a week. It just started raining here.
Now I've joined those of my friends in that club of adult children of deceased parents. I've been thinking of my mom's lingering death all this time with dad, so it's like I'm reliving my grief over her passing.
This isn't the greatest photo of him, but I've been looking at it a lot lately. There a mystery to it. He's looking ahead, and we can't see where he's going, but I love it cause he's happy here at the controls of his own boat, on some lake, looking for a good quiet fishing spot, a place to drop a line, maybe under a little bit of shade, a nice breeze, a cooler filled with ice and some beer that he's gone so long without.
It's like a breathe of Fresh Jer...
...all Green and Environmentally Friendly on the boob-tube with a cute chick dancing in a field!
I've been told I'm, "Outstanding in your Field" but my fear of ticks and Lyme Disease makes this lady my sexy proxy!
This "Happy Break" brought you in living color by a grant from the Chubb Group of Insurance Companies and viewers like you!
Monday, March 09, 2009
What ever you do, DON'T...

...park here!
People have been asking me when my dad dies, Will I move back to Los Angeles?
Several locations have been mentioned, even considered, such as Paris, NYC, SF and even Seattle, but knowing LA better than any other city and all the years invested in her, I suppose it's still home to me.
Some people think I'm there already! Some think I've never left!
With the continued climbing success of the podcast, inquiries from former acting students about future classes, ideas about films I want to make, classes I want to take, voice over work offers, and other things I want to do, I guess Los Angeles is the city that will welcome me back with open legs.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
This Dirty Nurse is...
...not like the ones at this Hospital!
But the nurses I deal with sure are sweet! If they only served good food, too!
http://www.king-mag.com/online/?p=8423
Had a nice meeting with my dad's doctor, he has no explanation as to why my dad is still alive. He should have been dead over a week now.
If there was ever a perfect candidate for a person to become a ghost that would then haunt, it is my dad. I can be sure he will not give up. He'll come back time and time again to check up on us boys to see we're doing what he wants. He will try to control us from the beyond!
Saturday, March 07, 2009
...for a brief second on Twitter. My own Devil Cult!
Caught a scary episode about Exorcism on "Paranormal State" that actually had me creeped out because during the show my bookshelf fell over with a loud bang. I almost pooped my pants!
I let the books lay on the floor all day. Didn't even want to pick them up. But seeing the DVD of Mario Bava's "The Whip and the Body" staring up at me, I had to pop that in. I don't know what it is about that film, but I really dig it. I mean, it may be a possession, a ghost story, or a fugue state like "Lost Highway" and "Fight Club" it works either way. Oh and Daliah Lavi is smoking hot!
Watched about 35 minutes of it before deciding to head back over to the hospital and take my turn sitting next to dad. A friend emailed me saying watching horror films late at night at a hospital may not be the best thing for my nerves. He may be right. I think, the horror film in question for him however, was me watching "Music and Lyrics."
Looks like I might have picked up a bug here at the hospital, I'm all achy and congested. My sister in law got Strep Throat and my dad while just laying here in a coma has contracted Staph. Fun, fun, fun... and decay.
Got some great emails about the podcast and even got an amazing review from a listener up on iTunes about the show! Need to get back on the horse and get the show going! So many people listening to the show have added me to the Facebook and Twitter and Myspace accounts, it's just so great!
Friday, March 06, 2009
Crashed into...
...my bed exhausted and I didn't even get to pull the covers up on me before I was out. Slept hard and deep. My bed capsized in the dark choppy water of uneasy dreams and I held on for dear life as images flashed across my woozy mind.
Dreams of skeletons caught in bear traps, bones ground into White powder and mixed with water to make paste and plaster on crumbling walls to mold an old house into something else.
Picking at a crack near the ceiling in a hallway of an adobe in the desert I began screaming as blood poured out and splattered on my bare feet. I ran outside across cactus needles and fell onto a concrete slab that supported a rusted and twisted old windmill flickering the sun's light with its squealing spinning blades that turns into the flapping wings of a crow.
The billowing White sheets drying on the lines blowing in the wind become a beautiful Angel smiling from across the picket fence in the backyard.
The dreams boiled like storm clouds and milk in coffee changing and folding into itself. I was dizzy when I woke up, but I slept 12 hours straight.
Was able to check my email and respond to a few letters. That was nice to read what so many had taking the time to write me about my dad and situations they had to overcome.
Got a nice email from a new friend that listens to the podcast and had gone out and bought a copy of the magazine Guitar Edge just to see the photo I had taken that was published in the current issue. I don't even have a copy!
http://www.guitaredgemag.com/
Two different TV shows have contacted me about licensing the ghost footage I have from a Burbank Cafe. That's cool!
I relieved my brother at the hospital, he was reading poetry and told me dad wouldn't make it through the night, but I had already heard that a week ago. This has been a long awful week.
I start my shift.
Setting up next to the hospital bed I watched the DVD "Music and Lyrics" with Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. It passed the time and was a sweet silly thing to see as it seemed to lift my spirits a bit.
There's a great line in the film that made my night:
"I'll show you the roof. It's upstairs."
Thursday, March 05, 2009
You know what? I am rich! I feel so wealthy because...
...so many people have emailed, telling me I was in their thoughts and prayers about what's going on with my dad and my brothers. I've had people on Facebook, Twitter, Myspace and other social sites, calls, cards, some lil' detectives have even figured out the hospital.
That makes me feel great!
Maybe I won't be alone when I'm old and dying? Maybe people will always have me in their thoughts?
I need to get back to the podcast soon! According to the stats, it's a huge success, so I need to keep that momentum going. I've had wonderful feedback on it! Some great email has come in from complete strangers that have become friends of the show.
Sitting here next to my dad typing this for later posting as usual, I've been thinking of getting some guests on the show and really knocking it out of the park. I'm talking to my dad as I type this up and even though I'm sure he can't hear me, it seems to help me. I talk to myself anyway. When I'm doing the podcast, I'm talking to myself, if you listen, you're just eavesdropping in on the conversation. You fly on the wall, you!
Dad looks strangely better tonight. His skin on his face is clear. He looks healthy, like he's just resting after a day at the beach. He hasn't eaten orally or by IV since Friday, so if that isn't proof that Fasting is good for you I don't know what is.
Make no mistake, he's dying. Nothing can change that. He was suppose to be dead 6 days ago, but he's just hanging in there trying to get all his moneys worth. He likes being the center of attention.
I wish I had an Internet connection here at the hospital, I was thinking of trying to find an online station that played music from when he was a teen or in his Twenties, or maybe something from WWII and play it while I sit next to him. I don't even know if he liked music, but I know he liked going dancing. I remember him once saying he loved Dinah Shore's voice when she sang. I just thought something from when he was younger would be good for him to go out on.
I'm going through the iTunes library of songs I have here and I don't see any Dinah Shore, but I wonder if he'll like the music of Radiohead?
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
I dreamt I went home to take a shower and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I was covered in puss filled sores and dark bruises and my legs and hands were dead and when I fell to the floor I broke in to pieces of rotted worm and larva pitted meat.
I haven't been able to talk to anyone other than my brothers and the nurses. I have a mailbox full of unread email I can't respond to.
Someone keeps coming by my place and knocking at my door. I don't answer. I don't even try to look to see who it might be. I leave the lights out and stay under covers for the few hours I'm there.
One of my brothers told me my webpage is too depressing.
Well, I am depressed.
How can I live in a world where death is like this? Where growing old is so horrible?
There's one nurse I've really become close to and she is the happiest person and she sees death all the time. She sees the miracle of life even in all this death. She can roll an old dying person onto their side and wipe their bottom, rub lotion on their frail thin skin, swab their mouths, clean the mucus from their eyes and tell you how beautiful life is to her.
How can I be so miserable? What gene do I have missing from my DNA that keeps me locked in this way?
I seem to feel better writing about it. It seems to get it out. But do you feel better reading it?
Isn't it too depressing for you?
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
He lays there decaying and breathing swallow, but there's so much fluid in his lungs it churns and sloshes and gurgles with every breathe. I feel like the character in "The Tell-Tale Heart" that has to deal with the old man with the bad, milky eye and hears his inner voice tell him, "If the eye offends thee, pluck it out."
He won't die.
He's off oxygen, he's not getting anything through the IV, no foods or liquids for 4 days now and he still keeps going. I can't stand sitting here with him, but when I'm away I want to be here. How will I feel when he dies? What if he dies and I'm not here? How will I feel if he dies on someone else's watch? Would he sit here for me if I was dying? I doubt it. Will anybody be here for me? I doubt it.
Monday, March 02, 2009
His B'Day was here and I wanted him to die.
All his sons were together around him and it seemed to me to be a great time to leave, but he just doesn't want to let go. His heart just keeps going.
He's on Morphine and hopefully he's dreaming about dancing with all the pretty ladies.
A friend of his named, Boon came by and he was a really sweet man, telling me stories about how dad danced every Saturday night. Boon told me all the ladies wanted to dance with him. He said he'd go pick my dad up and some nights he didn't feel well, but as soon as they'd get to the dance, he'd start feeling good.
All his friends are calling the hospital and asking about him, but some are too old to make it over, or they themselves are too sick. He sure had a lot of friends.
It's pretty lonely here at night, but the nurses are so sweet they want to make sure I'm doing good, too. Some have even snuck food out to me. I wish they'd shoot me up with morphine.
There is no WiFi here. I haven't even checked my email all this time because I'm so tired when I come home I don't even unpack my laptop from my backpack.
I haven't done a podcast in several days. It feels weird not to do one after doing one everyday for a month. I wasn't going to let anything stop the show, but I guess this has been a good reason.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Bringing my laptop that's about ready to die as well, the DVD player works, so I bring the healing power of the motion picture with such time killing fair as Martin Scorsese' "Goodfellas" and "Who's that Knocking at My Door" plus the Martin Campbell version of "Casino Royale" and Zack Snyder's "Dawn of the Dead" these should get me through the night.
At one point Ray Liotta stands up from the witness chair in court and addresses the camera as he explains the course of his choices in "Goodfellas" and my dad next to me begins mumbling furiously as if in an argument from his past. I can't understand what he's saying but it sounds like a losing argument.
Being around dad while he's unconscious, I can look at him and study his features to postulate what I may look like when I'm near death. Growing old sucks. Plain and simple. No way around it. James Dean and Heath Ledger had the right idea, go out looking good.
I can't imagine a world without movies!
They are so important to me as an escape. I think now sitting a few feet away from a dying man that I want to die like Edgar G. Robinson in "Solent Green" watching a beautiful movie pumped up with a lethal dose of pain killers.
Wondering what would be the movie I'd want playing as I pass on, and I guess it'd have to be "2001: A Space Odyssey" or maybe something from Stan Brakage, or Maya Deren.












