After sleeping nonstop for 13 Hours, I decided to get drunk and shoot...

...a Music Video!
 
I ventured off to the dangerous part of town, in the dark to a historic saloon to capture the musical magic that is, The Mad Scarlets!
 
They ROCKED!
 
My friend Kathy posted on my Facebook http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz that she had a dream that I made a music video of the band, so it was divine prophesy that set it in motion. Gee, I hope she dreams I get a Million Dollars.
 
They played all my favorite songs. They played them loud. They played them soft. They being the cool people they are, invited me to breakfast where they let me pay for my own meal without arguing or offering to do so. But we had fun, laughing and talking.
 
Wait until they see the video. Drinking a thing called, "The Duke" with Sailor Jerry Rum in it, I was easily wasted and fuzzy, perfect to shoot a video. I seriously doubt any of it is in focus. Oh well. They don't need my video to make them or break them. They are fine all by themselves.
 
Check them out: http://www.myspace.com/themadscarlets
 
Hear all about my night in the bar with them on today's Jerry Lentz Podcast and don't forget to tip your bartenders and waitresses and podcasters, please!
 
Along with The Mad Scarlets, hear about Sailor Jerry, Bryce Dallas Howard, Twilight, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Pornstar Stormy Daniels, Battlestar Galactica, Diane Keaton, Dawn Wells of Gilligan's Island, Hacker Gary McKinnon NASA UFOs and more brilliance!
 
On Blubrry: http://www.blubrry.com/jerrylentz/
 
On Gcast: http://www.gcast.com/u/JerryLentz/main
 
The Feed: http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml
 
On iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=304095539

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Cute Girls around the World are...

...wearing the New Jerry Lentz Podcast Little Black Dresses!
 
Friends are always impressed when they find out my voice is heard on radio stations in other countries. I huge in Japan!
 
There's some coworkers at a radio station I'm on in Turkey that send me pictures of the beautiful Turkish girls that work at the station. The Turks love my voice! How do I know? They pay in advance! I'm always voicing the wildest things there and the scripts are typed out phonetically, but they rarely tell me what I'm saying in English. Who knows what I'm talking about?
 
Once, I was the voice of God for a play or musical there. My voice was the recorded narrator that sets up the story. One of my friends sent me a video of the theatre, the stage was huge, the curtains open, my voice booming, I'm speaking Turkish, yet not knowing what I'm saying, then there's cool music building and the camera pans to the audience, and I kid you not, there must have been 100,000 people in that giant theatre and they all start cheering! So I must have said something good!
 
Here's a station I'm on in Turkey: http://www.radyomydonose.com.tr/main.aspx
 
I'm on the TV Network there: http://www.startv.com.tr/
 
And the other radio station I'm heard on in Istanbul: http://www.joyfm.com.tr/
 
I just opened the radio player and the very first thing I heard was me, That was funny!
 

To play mp3s in your browser, you will need to have Javascript turned on and have Flash Player 9 or better installed.

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

It's suppose to be great for your face and tastes great, too!

I mean, that's what I heard and have seen in numerous videos.
 
Being single, yet completely capable of impregnating a healthy, beautiful and wealthy young sexy lady, I find myself in fear that I will soon be too old to have a quality life parenting a child. I don't want to break a hip while pushing my baby in a swing, or throw my back out tossing my baby into the air, or drive my teen child to school and have her friends go, "Is that your great grand dad?
 
In my endeavor to avoid this, while waiting for you to realize I'm the One for you, I've been saving my semen in ice trays and storing them in the freezer next to the Klondike Bars. I can fill one little ice cube space with one good squirting, so I was able to completely fill up 4 separate Blue plastic ice trays with my future children in one week. Using a Black Sharpie Pen I decided to go ahead and name each ice cube/child on the side of the tray. Sometimes I find myself popping open the freezer to talk to my babies and telling them stories while I get the ingredients for a ham sandwich. I believe they will remember this loving contact later in life and because of it will become a healthy loving human being. I hope they don't get freezer burn. Power goes out now and again, but the sperm-pops never completely melt. I think they will be okay, as long as you don't come over and fix yourself a tall glass of Sweet Iced Tea.
 
If you want to be my babies' Mommy and don't mind the cold, please listen to the podcast and then contact me!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Some Girls just don't want your balls anywhere near the hole...

...so they completely spread out on the pool table in a fantastic New Jerry Lentz Podcast t-shirt that must be "Felt" to be believed! They want to distract you! Rack 'em up! Even Pool Hall Girls cue up to get them!

Stanley Kubrick said he had to have a Red Felt Top pool table in "Eyes Wide Shut" because, "...you can't trust a man who has one."

Did you know even during the Civil War, billiards was a very popular game that officers played to relieve stress and to help visualize strategies in their military plans?

Today I'm going on a roadtrip! I'm driving to some Historic Civil War locations in the Mid-West to conduct some Ghost Hunting!

Wish me luck!

While I'm suffering from allergies and shooting ghost videos, you can listen to my latest podcast episode in any number of ways!
 
On Blubrry: http://www.blubrry.com/jerrylentz/

On Gcast: http://www.gcast.com/u/JerryLentz/main

The Feed: http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml

On iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=304095539

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Sometimes it pisses me off to no end that I...

...feel like Charlie Brown!
 
Everyday is the same comic strip. No escape. Square panels, 4 walls, all closing in. Over and over. The butt of life's jokes. Life for me so often holds out a football, she's telling me how all my happiness is there for me, the goal is reachable, I can have it all, if I can just kick it, but you know what happens. She pulls it away and I spiral out of control.
 
Someone is always offering great advice, for a price and I know it's a hustle, but just hearing the hustle can sometimes break up the boredom and kill time.
 
There's always the "Little Red-Haired Girl" just out of reach, that's either married, or in another country, but seems like the one for me, the one, the perfect one and she hovers out there and in my dreams making it impossible for me to love the girl standing next to me that wants my love now.
 
There's the friends that are musicians that have talent, do well, but treat you like a security blanket, a shoulder to cry on, yet when you need reassurance they are off playing their music, being happy.
 
There's your best friend, the one always there for you, right? But today he thinks he's Joe Cool, or he's playing war games, or he's buying more things, stuff, toys and packing it away in his bottomless doghouse that he has little time for you.
 
The older, more adult people, the wise ones, the advisers who think they know what's best for me, spout off, pontificating, but I can't hear them because when they talk, it sounds like a trombone with a plunger mute. (woh-woh-woh)

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Doing my Podcast is really like it was when I first started in radio...

...there's a wild west kind of feel, anything is possible, freedom to screw up and the pay!
 
Which is why it's very important to continue to contribute to the Tip Jar in the Top Links on http://www.jerrylentz.com/ and to buy a t-shirt or thong!
 
When I taught Broadcasting I told my students that they'd have to embrace technology and not fear it, the Radio Industry has feared it and that fear is it's doom.
 
Got a huge laugh today when I read and watched a video of a news story about how a local Clear Channel radio station is offering new way of posting resumes. The staff select five sad stories from contestants and help them make a 30 second free commercial, marketing themselves to potiential employers who you know aren't listening or looking. I hope the commercials are done in that raceway voice, "SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! This guy needs a job..."
 
http://www.ky3.com/news/local/51705372.html
 
I wonder if the Thousands of employees laid off by Clear Channel can use it?
 
The success of my podcast and others, plus online streaming radio just proves how silly all the rearranging of deck chairs the radio industry is doing to keep their Titanic afloat. People can hear the music they want, when they want, so radio is missing the lifeboat. The web is giving them what they want and need. Advertisers can clearly see the stats and you don't have to wait for vague results in 5 months. I can't see me getting laid off from my own podcast and I can get a whole lot more from it even if I never have ads!
 
Hear today's show and find out why it's my MOST downloaded Podcast Radio Show EVER!
 
Stanley Kubrick, The Tonight Show, David Letterman, Clear Channel, Comic-Con, Tractor Pull, Bill Gates, Barack Obama, Spike Lee, Holocaust, Nazis, Scientology, John Travolta, Taliban Suicide Girls, Ashton Kutcher, Mischa Barton, Amy Winehouse and Yearlong PMS!
 
On Blubrry:
http://www.blubrry.com/jerrylentz/
 
On Gcast: http://www.gcast.com/u/JerryLentz/main
 
The Feed: http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml
 
On iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=304095539

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

I never saw this before, but I was very moved.

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=2CBF8A71E81A295F

The Tonight Show, when I was a kid was really important to me. I watched it all the time even when I should have been sleeping. I was very touched just watching how Dave did this episode. Don't know how I missed it before. 

You can learn a lot about Letterman from this!

When Conan took over from Jay, I was very happy, because Conan seemed like one of us, in a way and he really had to work to get people to get comfortable with him. We've all, most anyway, have been the guy people just seemed to hate when all you were trying to do is make them laugh and be happy.

Johnny Carson really was a classy guy. I'm beginning to think there's no room for classy guys anymore out there. Somehow the structure of business and life is crushing the spaces where guys like that might thrive.

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Sexy Girls all over love having me on them and in...

...the form of a t-shirt, but that seems to be it, sadly.

I got an email that went, "Just got your shirt in the mail so I don't need you. I subscribe to your radioshow so I don't have to talk to you. I don't have to clean up after you or feed you. You are the perfect boyfriend!"

Nice.

Why do I feel so bad?

According to 3 other messages, G4's coverage of Comic-Con in San Diego contained a quick shot of a Big Boy wearing the New Jerry Lentz Podcast t-shirt, if you are out there please send me a picture! I know it's not as sexy as being a hot girl with my shirt, but you could snuggle up to a booth-babe for the picture. I still wanna see it. That's awesome and I thank you!

Yesterday's podcast and the one on the Day before were the most listened to shows. I don't know what caused the spike, but it seems to be continuing to grow.

Let's see how today's does; Farmer's Nude Daughters, Saucy Radio Sausages, French Onion Soup Condom, Government-sanctioned Underground Marijuana Farm, Phish, Green Hornet, TRON 3D, Avatar, Haunting in Connecticut, Halo, Car for the Blind, Facebook Friends, Baghead, Duplass Brothers, How You Can Support the Show and more Silly Fun!
 
http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

I can live in a mini Hobbit House!

This is cheap to build, too!

What makes sexy women spread their legs and...

...straddle a chair like this?

My t-shirt of course!

You too, can have this power over women, just buy one and see for yourself! It's as soft as kittens, hard as nails and will make you look hot!

Don't forget to support the show that will change your life!

http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml

It's "Ghost Hunters" on SyFy tonight, so I've got a bottle of Jose Cuervo Margaritas, a tape recorder and... I'm recording EVPs in my BVDs!

Cause, I'm DRUNK, baby!

There was a News Report about a couple who wed after meeting on Facebook. Why can't this happen to me? No one is on it as much as me! I work it! And...

Nothing!

My friend Kathy said to me, "Maybe you could find a Jerri Lentz?"

Jeri and Jerry... Been there, done that.

I used to date a girl called "Jeri" back in the day, before she went off and became famous. It was kinda funny to be able to say your own name in the throes of ecstasy, but then again, I do that anyway.

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Okay, this is weird, I was just doing some work on my laptop, and in my studio the power goes off, then it pops back on and somehow I completely deleted my pants!

Live from Earth!

On Blubrry:
http://www.blubrry.com/jerrylentz/

On Gcast:
http://www.gcast.com/u/JerryLentz/main

The Feed:
http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml

On iTunes:
http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=304095539

I pictured a rainbow
You held in your hands
I had flashes
But you saw then plan
I wondered out in the world for years
While you just stayed in your room
I saw the crescent
You saw the whole of the moon!
The whole of the moon!

You were there at the turnstiles
With the wind at your heels
You stretched for the stars
And you know how it feels
To reach too high
Too far
Too soon
You saw the whole of the moon!

I was grounded
While you filled the skies
I was dumbfounded by truths
You cut through lies
I saw the rain-dirty valley
You saw Brigadoon
I saw the crescent
You saw the whole of the moon!

I spoke about wings
You just flew
I wondered, I guessed, and I tried
You just knew
I sighed
But you swooned
I saw the crescent
You saw the whole of the moon!
The whole of the moon!

With a torch in your pocket
And the wind at your heels
You climbed on the ladder
And you know how it feels
To reach too high
Too far
Too soon
You saw the whole of the moon!
The whole of the moon!

Unicorns and cannonballs,
Palaces and piers,
Trumpets, towers, and tenements,
Wide oceans full of tears,
Flag, rags, ferry boats,
Scimitars and scarves,
Every precious dream and vision
Underneath the stars

You climbed on the ladder
With the wind in your sails
You came like a comet
Blazing your trail
Too high
Too far
Too soon
You saw the whole of the moon!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

My crazy neighbor and his crazy girlfriend started fighting and screaming and...

...throwing stuff. The fight moved from inside the apartment to the outside. Fists, kicks, pots and pans, rolling pins, clothes and meth lab equipment all became weapons. I hope it's over for them! I wish they'd move! I've said this before, they seriously are both mental, retarded, toothless, but I'm not sad for them anymore. I always have to sneak out to my car to leave, or he stops me to read his mail for him, or he has a question to ask me, like "Why do we drive on the right side of the roads when in foreign lands they drive on the wrong side?" if I knew that, I'd rule the world. Whatever lie it was I made up to tell him, it was wrong, but kept his mind working long enough for me to break free and race to my car before he could ask me to drive him to the plasma donation center. They are scary people. I know they sound harmless, people without teeth seem that way only because they can't bite you, but they can shoot you or stab you if they get close and they both have personal space issues. They gotta get right up to you as if they are nearsighted. Once, I opened my door to carry out trash and I left the door unlocked as I ran into the kitchen to grab the trash bag and he walked right on in like it was a public library. Which I doubt he's ever been, cause he can't read. I would never buy meth from him, because if he can't read the ingredient on the label, who knows what you'll be smoking? But maybe he's like those old time chefs that do a pinch of this and a handful of that and he's some idiot savant of methmaking. I don't even think he sells it, just uses it for himself. Yeah, I could get blown up living here! Which is why it's desperately important that you help me leave, move, escape, by using the Tip-Jar "Top Spots" link to support your endeavors, or buy some tshirts, or donate so I can runaway! See the Left Side Bar on http://www.jerrylentz.com/ There are some really creative fans of the podcast! They send me pics, drawings, nudes and designs of things, I should open it up to see if any folks want to design me some Podcast Tees? My friends are the most creative people in the whole world! If they did that... That would be so cool and helpful for my departure from what will surely end in my death. http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Imagine having this wrapped around you! This is one Hot Looking...

...Tshirt! Yes, that's me on the shirt! Look! See my face? Look again. That's right. There I am. Now you found me. The shirt looks good on or looks great coming off! Can't wait till the pics of the girls wearing my New Jerry Lentz Podcast Thongs start coming in!!! http://www.cafepress.com/jerrylentz Buy some and send me the pictures! Everybody wins! Yesterday, I found I have lost 6 pounds! Which is good, cause none of the thongs come in my size. Been eating at an "all you can eat meat" place. Meat, meat, poultry, meat... The place used to creep me out, but I like it now! It makes me feel young going there, because I'm the only one without a walker or dragging an oxygen tank behind me. As I was digging into some meat, or was it poultry...  I started noticing the music playing. I never heard the music before, I guess with all the wheezing and bones rattling, it all got drowned out, but I heard, Keane, "Is It Any Wonder " and The Shins, "New Slang" playing back to back on their sound system. The Manager walked over and asked, "How's everything?" like they do with that "must do this, don't really want to know" look. I complemented him on their music channel choice and he said, "Thanks! We play it so the old people will get annoyed and leave and not stick around all day grazing."

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Around the World, to cool countries with Internet, and all over the bodies of Hot Young Girls, the....

...Jerry Lentz Podcast T-shirts are going where I'll never get to go. I hope my tees come to you! You need one now! Get one! http://www.cafepress.com/jerrylentz Email from listeners say some are making dresses out of them! I love being repurposed! Who knew Walter Cronkite would save us from having to hear more crap about Michael Jackson, by dying? Kinda makes you wish more icons will die soon just to bury the Jackson story. Been using Skype to talk to many friends around the world and I can't believe how clean the sound can be. Some will be on microphones, but several are on their iPhones using a Skype app and that sounds great! There are a few people I know who are near bankruptcy but they just bought the new iPhone. It's like a drug! People will be homeless, but they'll have an iPhone. More and more friends are opening up to me about their depression. More people are finding out about their clinical depression than ever. More are trying different medications to help. All of America seems to be on some antidepressant and we are in a depression! iPhones, Harry Potter, Transformers, American Idol, weed, Walter Cronkite and Michael Jackson are just the moment's self medicating distractions. Let my Free Podcast be your Depression Distraction! Self Medicate with Me! Let Me be the "Me" in Me-dication! Press Play to hear it! "Press" is in De-press-ion. Are you, gonna support the show by buying a Jerry Lentz Podcast Tee or putting a tip in the Tip Jar? "Are you" is in Drug, d-R U-g. So there, do the right thing, the one thing with zero side effects. No bloating or diarrhea, as far as I know. http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

After drinking wine last night with the models and passing out, I dreamed I was...

..."Jerry Potter and the Half-Drunk Prince" My head is woozy from all the magic wine, but I was still able to shag Hermione rotten! It doesn't take much to get me drunk, but two bottles of magic wine really did it. Had a photo shoot because my New Jerry Lentz Podcast t-shirts came in and the models got me drinking! The tees look great! You have to buy one in support of the radio show! You'll want one, they're awesome! http://www.cafepress.com/jerrylentz Friday being Payday, you could buy one of the New tees, or you could put a link of yours in the Tip Jar for anything you want, your blog, your band, your book, your eBay listing anything. The Tip Jar is located on the Left Sidebar on http://www.jerrylentz.com/ Or find the Tip Jar here: http://tinyurl.com/l7cofq I swear I won't spend the money on booze! The money will go to support this website, the podcast and other things non alcoholic. While drunk last night I recorded the new podcast and did a whole rundown on my Facebook Profile, my friends and how much fun it is on my "Wall" as they call it. I guess it came out okay as several friends have said that I didn't seem drunk at all. I'm afraid to listen back, not sure what all I said. I opened the floor up to have Facebook friends comment on what I should talk about and they came through and posted subjects for the show. I used them, no matter how ridiculous and gave them credit. I might make that a regular feature. You should Add me as a friend and join in on all the fun we have. http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz Hear the podcast here and see where your Tips Jars gifts become advertisements for your causes. Hear the fun! Hear the excitement! Feel the love your gift generates and watch and hear it grow! On Blubrry: http://www.blubrry.com/jerrylentz/ On Gcast: http://www.gcast.com/u/JerryLentz/main The Feed: http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml On iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=304095539

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

According to the latest reports from Doctors, Michael Jackson is...

...still dead. While watching "Ghost Hunters International" on SyFy last night, I decided to unpack my FLIR Thermal Imaging Systems Camera (it detects heat) and while setting it up I was horrified to discover a white-hot boner in my pants! I knew my pants were haunted! Need to get out there and go on some more ghost hunts! I know there's ghosts just waiting to be discover. I can feel it in my pants! This was one of the very first music videos I made. It was way back in the 80s and believe it or not was very influential, a look adopted by young British directors and Ad Agencies, as that rough style b/w 16mm had yet to peek out of the common high gloss MTV productions. I know, I was kind of a genius when I was a kid. What happened to all that talent? Way back then I was a go getter, I was able to wrangle free help, free cars, free locations, free film, free lights, free nude teen girls... Of course, I found if you can get the nude teen girls first, everything else will fall in place. Gotta get going on making this new film! Working on a new script that I think could be an awesome fun movie to make! I was at a restaurant yesterday and was making notes and the waitress came over to ask what what the script was about and as I told her, her eyes glazed over. I like to think she was staring off into space because she was imagining how great it would be to see it, rather than an unfocused glassy eyed lack of interest. The tip reflected her enthusiasm. Hey, I tipped her, please tip me! The Austin band was, The Pictures! Thanks to Jessica for finding it after it was lost all these years! http://www.facebook.com/v/1180958160164

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Do you mind in I put my face right here on your...

...thong? Nice and warm.
 
http://www.cafepress.com/jerrylentz.397928611
 
In case you can't read the text here, it says, "The Jerry Lentz Podcast, Hypnotic!" So you can sleep well and your vajayjay can sleep well knowing I'm keeping my eyes open for any intruders!
 
Parents should buy these for their daughters too!
 
Buy some, model them, snap a picture, if I post them, you Win! Show your support secretly, or if your a slutty chick, show your support to everyone! Keep the Radio Show Alive!
 
Feeling pretty good today after yesterday's trouble, because today is "All Joke Wednesday!" on my Facebook Profile! Add me as a friend and join in on the fun as my funny friends try to out do one another with awesome jokes!
 
http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
 
Here's just a sample:
 
3 guys go to the ball park to watch a game.
They notice a hot chick in a miniskirt sitting across the stadium.
Then they notice you can see up her skirt.
The first guy says, "I bet those are black panties."
The second guy says, "I bet she's not wearing any."... Read More
The third guy whips out his binoculars and says, "You're both wrong - it's flies!"
 
GROSS! Don't let that happen to you! Get your New Jerry Lentz Podcast Panties, Now!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Scientists report in a new paper just released; If you have a tattoo, your...

...personality traits say you are easy, dirty, like anal, cheat, deny the facts, lie, borrow books and never return them.
 
Just got back from a supermarket where I saw a really ugly woman slap her cute lil' baby in the face so hard she fell and the girl's head hit the floor with a smack. The girl couldn't have been more than 3. Another woman on the other side of her spoke up about calling Child Protective Services and went to get the manager, then the mother yanked the girl's arm so hard and said, "See what you did?" I was about 15 feet away and the woman didn't even look at me.
 
My day is ruined now.
 
We all exchanged numbers, we'll see if we get called as witnesses or anything. I'm kinda doubting it. I'm really bummed out. But I did meet some nice people, maybe something good will come of it. I'm telling you that little girl was the cutest thing, too. She didn't even cry. Tough. The mother was dirty, toothless, fat and I think, as another woman said, "Meth User." The really horrible thing I keep thinking is, if I had done anything to the woman, I would be arrested. Spanking, is one thing, I don't go for, but to SLAP a baby on the face, open palm, full swing... UNBELIEVABLE! Okay, I wish I could stop thinking about this!
 
Back to what I was talking about; My tattoos are always Henna! I like to change my mind about the designs. Personally, I am disgusted with these people! Not so much people with tattoos, (though I get creeped out by really old ladies and carny folk with faded tattoos) but those that borrow books and don't return them!
 
I need a good book to read to get my mind on cool and fun things! You can listen to the New Podcast!
 
On Blubrry:
http://www.blubrry.com/jerrylentz/
 
On Gcast: http://www.gcast.com/u/JerryLentz/main
 
The Feed: http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml
 
On iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=304095539

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Imagine waking up to a Sexy Flight Attendant wearing one of these and nothing...

...else!
 
I for one, love the New Red Delta Airlines uniforms! I might just book another flight with them just for that alone!
 
The red dress with a cinched waist is the type of uniform that makes flight attendants striding through airport concourses stand out like Supermodels. The Richard Tyler designed uniforms are Fabulous!
 
Well, I'm not a designer like the great Richard Tyler, but these NEW FANtastic t-shirts not only are sexy and one of a kind, they help support a great cause, the Radio Show/Podcast, the Writing and future Films made here!
 
http://www.cafepress.com/jerrylentz
 
Please, if you enjoy the hard work displayed in these page and elsewhere, find a way to support, either through the Tip Jar that will benefit you or your cause on http://www.jerrylentz.com or purchasing a shirt for yourself or as a gift for a sick, injured or dying friend, also don't forget the Troops fighting to make this God Loving Country of ours Free to listen to The Jerry Lentz Podcast without fear of Taliban controlled content. Many soldiers subscribe to the Jerry Lentz Podcast, I read the emails and see the stats, do it for them!
 
Do it now! I want to hear how you like them. Go get 'em!
 
The New Red Delta Airlines Uniforms are only available up to Size 18! My tshirts will accommodate us big boys and girls! Be Big and Proud as these tshirts will hide the girth by distracting onlookers with the hot sexy image of me promoting the podcast that's covering up your floppy boobs and bulbous belly. It's a scientific fact! It's subliminal! It's hypnotic!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

I know it's my OCD, but I can't sit in a cafe unless...

...my back is to a wall, the door is in view, the seating is a booth in the corner and my revolver is laying on my lap under the napkin.
 
Saw "Public Enemies" with my brothers and I liked it. Might have even loved it if the two kids sitting behind me didn't talk all through it. They hated it and left 45 minutes into it when Johnny Depp didn't act funny like a pirate. Love what Michael Mann has done with shooting his films on video, but for me this isn't the kind of film to do that on. Too many modern styles, music, handheld video camera work in a period film didn't work for me. But I did like the movie a lot. The history. The detail. Just didn't love it.
 
If only you could come by, pick me up, blindfold me and take me to that secret hideout that only you know... Then what would we do? You whisper your instructions and guide me over steps and trails I can't see. Guided by your loving touch.
 
Wish you'd go on a Ghost Hunt with me, because I think my pants are haunted!
 
I know there's a ghost in them and I think it's me. Am I here? Am I happy? This may be the best life I've ever had. But I want more and I want it now.
 
Imagine you woke up with the amazing power to get inside someones body and possess it, to see, hear and feel from inside their body, like in "Being John Malkovich." You can live their life and control them! Now, who would you want to be and what would you make them do?
 
Already, I feel I have too many voices controlling my life for those that want to be me, and I feel I'm being controlled by someone or something at a great distance. There's a weight of some invisible tether that sends and receives signals in a language I can't decipher. I'm here, but I'm only observing, locked in a diving bell and I can only feel your touch through these thick numbing gloves.

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

If I were a Bankrobber, I'd be...

...the sweet kind. No murders. No beatings. No guns.
 
I'd try and be smart about it.
 
Like Clive Owen in "Inside Man" I love that film.
 
There's a great episode of "American Greed" I think that was the show, anyway, it was about a guy studying how bank robberies fail and he figured out many ways to get the job done safely and without getting caught. He realized most criminals are caught at the getaway car part of the robbery, so he eliminated the car completely and took a city bus. Cops were looking for cars!
 
Amazing story!
 
But he was caught because after several successful heists, he got greedy and altered his winning strategies, broke his own rules.
 
Going today to see, "Public Enemies" with two of my brothers, very excited! I love Michael Mann, he's a favorite filmmaker of mine.
 
The movie renews the debate about whether Dillinger was a Robin Hood-type hero for those who were angry with banks and had lost their savings during the Great Depression. Hmmm, people mad at banks... Could we be seeing new "Dillingers" pop up. We have reasons to be mad at banks now?
 
Michael Moore's new film gets a title, it's called, “Capitalism: A Love Story” so you know that will be fun!
 
I was just listening to an old slightly feeble neighbor spouting off about how he hopes we don't get Healthcare here in the US because he ain't gonna be sitting in no long lines to get help, but I was just at the VA Hospital with my brother and there were long lines and waiting there! I've never been to visit a doctor that didn't take up my whole day!
 
Recently, I met a fantastic person from Canada and I'm hoping we will be great friends and maybe even more... Like maybe neighbors, or roommates. I hate even writing this because it sounds like, even though she's beautiful, sexy, talented and smart, that I'm only using her for her country.
 
I'm not getting any younger, I want to live in a cool place, with cool people, free healthcare, and know my huge taxes are going to go to something other than Bank Bailouts and War.
 
Don't forget to listen to the podcast! It's growing in leaps and bound with new subscribers everyday and please use the Tip Jar on the Left of the page on http://www.jerrylentz.com/ to help cover the expenses and plug your work!
 
Please subscribe:
http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml

  
Download now or listen on posterous

jerrylentzpodcast071109.m4a (7193 KB)

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Megan Fox “Body,” what a piece of...

...art this film just might be and definitely she is!
 
"Jennifer’s Body"
 
http://www.manolith.com/2009/07/06/do-you-want-a-peek-at-megan-foxs-body-i-bet-you-do/
 
Notice, not a single shot of her scary thumbs! Her toes seem proportionate though!
 
Looks good! I still need to see "Juno" and I own the DVD, just can't seem to crack it open and watch for some reason.
 
"How Did Megan Fox Land That 'Transformers' Gig Again?"
 
http://www.cinematical.com/2009/07/07/so-how-did-megan-fox-land-that-transformers-gig-again/
 
" ....when Michael Bay auditioned her for the first "Transformers," he actually made her wash his Ferrari while he filmed the whole thing. Yup. She washed his car. His Ferrari. While he filmed her. And that's how she got the role in Transformers. If you need anymore proof of just how perverted Hollywood is sometimes, look no further than Mr. Michael Bay."
 
"So is that going to be on the extras on the DVD?" my friend Steve asks?
 
Deadliest day for suicides: Wednesday!
 
I knew it! This last Wednesday sucked it!
 
A five-year study of deaths across the United States found that suicides are far more common on Wednesdays than any other day of the week. I know I barely made it through this last Wednesday!
 
Yay, it's Friday! I'm gonna get drunk and see, "Public Enemies" and maybe, "Hurt Locker!"
 
Buzz Aldrin talks about the dark times that followed his historic flight as we prepare to mark the fortieth anniversary of the Apollo 11 mission, talks about the depression and alcoholism he faced after his moon landing... been to the moon, now what?
 
Think Megan Fox gets depressed cause she's so hot and someday all that will fade? I know I do!
 
A rare photographic collection showing in Paris this week traces the entire 13-year US space odyssey that put Neil Armstrong on the moon and features original snapshots of the lunar landing. Many still believe it was shot on a soundstage and that's depressing to hear that people still think that.
 
Think about all the jobs going to the moon created for America. We need that again! Even my Uncle worked for NASA!
 
The world is moving towards a freelance economy. Look at the success of eBay and sites where small companies and individuals both can bid on jobs/projects.
 
Read this:
 
http://www.indiewire.com/article/is_there_a_fear_of_free/pem
 
We are in a time where companies are looking to save money at every turn. Outsourcing is already widespread whether we want to accept it or not. Most companies are offshoring everything from customer service, to programming, to data entry, and even drafting patent applications.
 
We live in a digital world... where more people are working from home, and working independently.
 
This depresses me. Where is all this to lead? How are we to make money when things are going to be free? Anyone I know that reads a magazine, reads it for free at Borders. Anyone I know that sees a film downloaded it. Music? Downloaded. Even Francis Ford Coppola just advised young filmmakers to get a retail job and make movies on the side, because they will not make money on them.
 
$80,000 a year for a stress-free job with flexible working hours and no need to wear a suit? Somerset's tourist attraction "Wookey Hole Caves" is advertising for a "witch" and has already received 100 applicants since the beginning of the week. I remember going out with a girl and she made money, SERIOUS MONEY and I asked her what she did and she told me she was a Phone Psychic!
 
We ate and drank watched some video and then I asked her if she was born with her psychic skills or did she get hit by lightning and she being slightly drunk and rather open said, "Oh, it's all bullshit! I just make it up, but you'd be surprised how right I am!"
 
I'm experimenting a little bit here. I want to start posing my podcasts in the posts, because some people still don't know how to subscribe, click the Play Button on the Left Sidebar, or they don't have iTunes. So I'm gonna see if I can post the popular and ever growing success that Stye Magazine called, "Eye Popping for the Ears!" The Jerry Lentz Podcast!
 
Hope you can hear it!

  
Download now or listen on posterous

jerrylentzpodcast070909.m4a (13960 KB)

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Bob Mitchell 1912-2009

Bob just passed away and my thoughts go out to all those who knew and loved him. I had the pleasure of talking with him numerous times, listening to his stories and filming him play for the silent films we love. http://www.cinefamily.org/
 
Hope you enjoy one of my little films of Bob Mitchell at his best and doing what he loved! Several times I tried to put together the resources to make a documentary about him, it just never came together, sadly. This is one of those times where I wish I was back in Hollywood, because I know there would be a group of us getting together, thinking and talking about Bob and Silent Film.
 

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

I hate begging, even when I have to do it for sex, but...

...I wanted to let you know on the left side of the page of http://www.jerrylentz.com I have a cool new widget thing that if you have a blog you wanna get a mention, or a website, an eBay listing of a crock-pot you gotta sell, or a CD you're trying to market, a service you provide... anything! It's like a Tip Jar thing!
 
When I first put it up, I didn't think anybody would do it, but thank goodness AnimationMeat.com stepped up to do the right thing! I was getting worried no one cared. I still think that though...
 
You know, everything I do, I do for you. I want to make you happy. Make you laugh. Touch you deep inside. Feel my love!
 
Doing the radio shows/podcasts using Garageband now because I was having trouble with Audacity and there seems like there are so many ways to add more and do more to the shows to make them even cooler. I hope you are listening! The subscriptions are growing and there's a growing buzz in the industry about it! It's the Wave of the Future!
 
Now that I'm using Skype alot, looking to add interviews to the shows like I used to do.
 
Also, thinking I might have to give in and get a new iPhone. There's so many things I can use it for in my work and art that it's getting hard to ignore. Everyone I know has one, even those that were like me and never going to get one... They finally got one for themselves.
 
Looking at getting a new iMac, because making the movies I want to make are just not practical on my PowerBook anymore.
 
So what does this all mean? I need money! More money! So please help! Okay, I'm begging!
 
I was looking around at websites using a Tip Jar Widget like mine to see how those sites were using it and I was shocked! There was a site raising money to help with legal expenses for those that kill abortion doctors! One site was raising funds to build a deer hunting range where they breed deer and guests come out and kill the deer in a simulated hunting environment. Another website was raising dollars to build a Puppy Mill, I didn't even know what that was, but they all had HUGE amounts of money flowing in and I just want to make positive and beautiful things and there's all this cash being poured into death and destruction.
 
Is that the kind of thing you want your money spent on? If not, please use the tip jar on my site now! http://www.jerrylentz.com You will feel better knowing nothing was killed by your tip!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Seriously, What am I to...

...You?
 
Me?
 
The other night I woke up about 3am, so I guess it was really morning, I showered and dressed. Then bored already, I got in my car to drive around and think. In the dark. I sat in the seat for a bit before starting the car and looked up into the rearview mirror. Panic struck me in a jolt as I saw no reflection. But as I grabbed the mirror I saw that it had been moved and some optical illusion to startle me had been set in motion.
 
My heart pounded for a moment heavy. There was a layer of sweat sprinkled on my head. It doesn't seem like that big a deal, I guess I was still groggy from sleep and for a brief time I thought I might have been out of my body, or that I didn't exist.
 
Twisted my earbuds in tight, clicked on the iPod and the first song was NINs, "Only" it was perfect for the event and for the drive around in the night.
 
I'm becoming less defined as days go by
Fading away
And well you might say
I'm losing focus
Kinda drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself
 
Sometimes I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes I can see right through myself
 
Less concerned about fitting into the world
Your world that is
Cause it doesn't really matter anymore
(no it doesn't really matter anymore)
No it doesn't really matter anymore
None of this really matters anymore
 
Yes I am alone but then again I always was
As far back as I can tell
I think maybe it's because
Because you were never really real to begin with
I just made you up to hurt myself
 
I just made you up to hurt myself, yeah
And I just made you up to hurt myself
 
And it worked.
Yes it did!
 
There is no you
There is only me
There is no you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me
 
Well the tiniest little dot caught my eye and it turned out to be a scab
And I had this funny feeling like I just knew it's something bad
I just couldn't leave it alone, I kept picking at the scab
It was a doorway trying to seal itself shut
But I climbed through
 
Now I am somewhere I am not supposed to be, and I can see things I know I really shouldn't see
And now I know why, now, now, now I know why
Things aren't as pretty
On the inside
 

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Hanging around, nothing to do but frown...

...and watch videos like this! Awesome! Train vs Tornado! Watch out for that tanker filled with flammable liquids!

 
Imagine I'm making a movie and you are cast in the film, doing whatever you want; What kind of character are you playing?
 
Check
it out the latest of my World Famous Podcast! Voted by Cubicle
Cruises(tm) as the #1 Radio Show to listen to while pretending to work!
 
Check it out! http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml
 
"Psycho" and "Touch of Evil" are both on TV at the same time! There are so many similarities between these two classics! Ever notice? Okay,
now imagine you created a "Love Potion" that made people fall in love
with you, you want to sell it online, bottle it yourself to keep your
formula secret, now what are you going to call it? What original name
do you put on the label?
 
Don't worry, it's not a test.

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow.

Spent the entire Twilight Zone Marathon on SyFy Channel playing a drinking game! If I hadn't already started the drinking game and now suffering the affects, I'd be better able to explain the intricate details and rules. I may still be drunk now, but here goes; I drink when Rod Serling starts talking, I drink if it's in B&W, I drink if the camera tilts in a weird angle or tilts up to stars, I drink if a doll, small child, small people, small aliens or small animal appears, I drink... Ah screw it, I just drink through the whole friggin' awesome brilliance of the series!
 
I don't like it when the Hillbillies here run out of Fireworks and then just start firing their guns instead!
 
I wish I were here!
 
Talking with a girlfriend from my past, there were some songs
playing in the background, they were like a soundtrack with pops from
fireworks interspersed with bits phone talk, pleasant memories,
wrinkles from laughter, pain of smiling too long, pain of missing out,
and the pain of a hollow unfilled ache to recapture what was foolishly
left behind.
 
Where did all the time go?
 
Somewhere on a road I took a turn that lead me away from what may have been true happiness. I split in two. Two or maybe Three. One living in the past and one living in the future. In the nothing here now, a vague mist lingers that might be part of me, or once was, or could be again. The gap between Past and Future. Between the pit of my fear and the summit of my knowledge. No bridge can hold it together.
 
A ghost types this and tries to reach you.
 
One stayed running on the bridge and one jumped off and into the water with the porpoises, but the porpoises are waving, "Goodbye, goodbye!"
 

 
Later a new friend and I chatted and she seemed to be as a siren singing to me from across the jagged rocks and treacherous surf, because she was too perfect, the familiar look from dreams, the talk, her interests, her wit and smarts. She might be Satan disguised, who heard my lonely, aching whimpers murmured in sleep and extracted the hidden desires from behind the wall of sleep and dreams to make flesh and tempt me, to exchange my eternal soul for a moment of pure joy. All I need to do is invite her in after opening the door.
 
Damn that Twilight Zone Marathon Drinking Game!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

One of the women I want to be inside of tonight!

Happy 4th, baby!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Happy 4th! Let's blow shit up! And then...

...dance with me.
 
This is Awesome! Women's independence and the separation of the American colonies from Great Britain. You have to see this and the reference to Ed at the end!
 
I met Shelley Winters a few weeks before she died in the Silver Spoon in West Hollywood when she said to me, "I'll trade you my Eggs Benedict for your slice of watermellon, honey!" Then she told me she was tired of the company at her table and wanted to eat with me instead. She was hilarious and Oliver Reed rocked!
 
 
Why is the 4th of July important in this Kubrick film? Because there is no independence for Jack's soul. He's doomed to be the caretaker forever and ever.
 
"The most enduring myth about Independence Day is that Congress signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776. The myth had become so firmly established that, decades after the event and nearing the end of their lives, even the elderly Thomas Jefferson and John Adams had come to believe that they and the other delegates had signed the Declaration on the fourth. Most delegates actually signed the Declaration on August 2, 1776. In a remarkable series of coincidences, both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, two founding fathers of the United States and the only two men who signed the Declaration of Independence to become president, died on the same day: July 4, 1826, which was the United States' 50th anniversary. President James Monroe died exactly five years later, on July 4, 1831, but he was not a signatory to the Declaration of Independence."
 
Words that build or destroy Dirt, dry, bone, sand, and stone Barbed-wire fence cut me down I'd like to be around In a spiral staircase To the higher ground And I, like a firework, explode Roman candle lightning lights up the sky

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

The Best Live on the street Michael Jackson News coverage! The kind you've been waiting to see!

http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/just_plain_stupid/Reporter_Slaps_Drunk_Guy/
 
U2 launched their world tour on a vast stage in Barcelona before some 90,000 fans with a show that included a linkup with the International Space Station and a tribute to Michael Jackson... What? Really? Why?
 
If U2 had died would Jackson have done a tribute to them?
 
Anyway, I talk about that and other more fascinating things in the New Fresh Smelling episode of the Jerry Lentz Podcast that you can hear and post a tip in a jar to on the left side of my http://www.jerrylentz.com page.
 
Enjoy!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Give Me Five! I was Skyping with a...

...filmmaking friend in Saarbrücken, talking about how our Worlds have changed since David Hudson is not doing The Daily at IFC anymore and how GreenCine Daily's Editor Aaron Hillis is too busy with everything he's doing to do it daily... Our routines have changed. We feel cut off somehow and too lost to find all the news by ourselves.
 
Also, the New Jerry Lentz Podcast episode is up and it is already the most downloaded show in the entire history of this apartment complex! Click the Play Button on the Left Sidebar to enjoy!
 
We also talked about how she has been raising funds for a couple of dance DVD projects. She sells tshirts the dancers design. They held a bikini bike wash, I guess there were no cars where they were. She has set up a tip jar on her website and everyone that tips gets a credit in her dance films, and that she says has been the best.
 
So, I set one up too as you can see to the left. It's new for me, but I have a small $5000 feature DVD Horror/Art project I wish to try it out on for raising the capital. If I get 1000 people to tip $5. then all those names will go in the credits. Wow! That's a lot of typing!
 
If you've liked the work I've done in the past, writing, voice work, videos, being silly... If I've brought at least $5 worth of joy into your life, please consider giving this new experiment in funding a try and tip me! You can use it to plug your website, band, anything as far as I know!
 
Let's make something happen now!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Watched Kevin Brownlow's, "Cecil B. DeMille: American Epic," on TCM and now can't get it out of my mind. Might need that on DVD.

Watched "Murnau, Borzage & Fox" John Cork's great documentary on the celluloid experiments and lives of William Fox, Frank Borzage and F.W. Murnau! Great, great stuff!

You mean, we can watch Roger Corman's, "The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent" here for free? I'm so there, I'm already there!