Monday, August 31, 2009
You can't get over the H1N1 until you pass it on, so Touch Me, I'm Sick!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
According to The Secret, I manifested the Flu, I myself allowed the H1N1 to infect me, because...
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Thank goodness I stocked up at Walmart before I got the Swine Flu, because...
...I haven't left the house since Thursday!
I'll be able to fit in my skinny jeans soon!
Can't keep any food down. I've just been drinking Smart Water. I heated up some chicken broth. Can't read for any length of time. My head is woozy. Nose all stopped up.
I lay here staring at the ceiling trying to figure out how it's possible that I could have gotten sick with all the vitamins I take, all the sanitary sprays and lotions I use, the antibacterial soaps, the veggies I eat, the hot showers I take, the Listerine I gargle... I just don't get it?
I have met quite a few people lately, so I have been shaking a lot of hands. The Swine Flu is everywhere here! I was just told by reliable sources that I have it now.
I can't imagine where I could have gotten it though...
http://peopleofwalmart.com/
Friday, August 28, 2009
I can't tell if I have Food Poisoning or it's the 1st stage of a bad Flu, but...
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I believe I can see the future...
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around Oh, no Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
It was like Nazi Day for me, because...
...I went to see "Inglourious Basterds" today with two of my brothers at a theatre less than a mile from Brad Pitt's high school, later I finally watched my DVD of "Defiance" and listened to Wagner while reading an old Nazi story from a Real Men Magazine from 1961. Well, I loved "Inglourious Basterds!" I thought the story, the writing, the cast, the sets... I just fell into it and dug it all the way through.
Good visiting with my brothers too! One brother said there was too much reading to do in the film and the other said he's hard of hearing so he's glad there was reading to do. Had cheeseburgers at Backyard Burgers, Skyped with a great friend, had some fudge for desert, and my allergies even let up for a few hours, so it was just a perfect day!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Hot Girls love to torture boys, it's a fact well documented throughout...
...history!
That's why it's called "His-story!"
This is Meg, the one holding the sign written for me, she is part of a triumvirate of Smart Sexy Bitches in Winnipeg, that includes Nancy and Faryn, who all love to get geeky guys to fall for them and then they torment them like cats do to small mice.
That's why the call it "Pussy!"
Once you know their game and don't fall for the late night drunken phone calls or love letters written after several bottles of wine in a graveyard for research purposes on horror film screenplays... ...You can have fun, too.
You might want to believe these witches slowly gyrating their bare hips in the smothering snow, these sirens singing to you across the treacherous rocks and drowning waves, these goddesses of Harvest Home who fall in love with the male voice and then take a rusted garden shear and cut out his tongue... ...Love them at your peril. Love them and bring on your doom. Love them and be consumed.
Still, they're kinda sweet to look at!
Monday, August 24, 2009
My hearts crammed in my cranium and it really knows how to pound!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
I'm sort of a DIY kinda guy, so I fantasize about making my own girlfriend, but I just don't...
Saturday, August 22, 2009
I'm getting new killer skills...
...that I hope will better Mankind, but I'm really hoping I will be changed for the better!
I am working on something that is so different from what I've ever done before. Stretching myself. Learning new things. Exploring what I'm capable of handling.
To acquire these new techniques I have to play games with myself. I imagine each new skill set will be used to accomplish a secret mission. Each thing is like a different team member of an elite squad sent to assassinate a Nazi Leader and must band together and combine their abilities to succeed in the task.
Say for instance, I need to remember a set of passwords, codes or acronyms, well I imagine the team member is a Code Breaker deciphering enemy messages.
Sometimes these games help overcome the stress I might otherwise feel climbing a learning curve. Climbing that curve can be for me like David Niven climbing that clift wall in the rain in "Guns of Navarone."
These games seem to help me remember.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Here are some flicks I'm excited to see, I wish we could go...
...together and I wouldn't even attempt to put my hotdog through the bottom of the popcorn box.
I swear! Maybe we could hold hands. Maybe we could lay our hands on each other's leg. Maybe we could sneak in some food and drinks!
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/avatar/
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/jennifersbody/
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/wherethewildthingsare/
http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/thelovelybones/
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/fantasticmrfox/
And hopefully, I can convince my brothers to go see a War Movie with me in a few days:
http://www.apple.com/trailers/weinstein/inglouriousbasterds/
I still have DVDs I need to watch, like "Revolutionary Road" and "Defiance" but just can't get my house in order enough to settle down to view them.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
I was at Walmart and two teen girls asked me if I was Jason Hawes from "Ghost Hunters." I don't look like him at all, do I?
On yesterday's date in 1692, five people, including a clergyman, were executed after being convicted of witchcraft at the Salem Witch Trials. How did you honor the date? I watched this and brought back great memories, because I never missed an episode!
We have to be sure not to get caught up in any kind of similar panic or silliness whether religious or political or sexual... Just keep cool and keep a backpack of supplies in the trunk for an easy getaway.
When I first saw this, it was in a theatre and I was underage! Shame! It may have warped me. I remember the ticket was so expensive, more so than other films, but it may have been something like $8 at the time. But it took all my lawn mowing money to buy the ticket and pay the hooker that played my date.
Happy B'Day to H.P. Lovecraft! I celebrated by listening to this BBC documentary and having some Pulp by way of my Orange Juice.
Tonight at dinner, a couple at the next table kept chatting up the server so long that the restaurant gave me a small discount for the wait and the food was cold and awful. Now I'm so sick.
I had a "Brain-Glitch" I was holding my toothbrush ready to put toothpaste on it and instead squirted liquid handsoap on the toothbrush. It was an inch away from my teeth before I caught it! Is there anything remotely as weird that you've done?
If you were alone and saw an actual alien spacecraft and just knew it was not of this Earth, knowing how people, skeptics and the media are, would you ever admit it?
I think in this current climate of skepticism for the sake of fashion, or whatever, just to oppose... Even if I knew it was an Alien Controlled Craft, I really believe I would keep it to myself. It's like everything is a Hoax!
Unless I had some kind of object I stole from them, then I might blog about it. Video, photos, scars, implants, just seem worthless to everyone other than believers. American Scientific Magazine stated numerous times flight was impossible even ten years after people were flying in airplanes!
I'm not referring to "real" scientific inquiry, but in all these TV shows I'm talking about, there's a team and they are calling themselves "skeptics" looking for evidence, but it's all fashion/fake for the most part. If you've seen any of these shows you've heard them say that. The real studies, the hard working and thorough investigators, we'll never hear about because their work will be buried under the glut of these "Entertainments" and there's a trend of thinking it's cool to just disagree without cause in this culture. So again, I would most likely keep quiet about my encounter.
Yahoo Personals just found me 18 New perfect matches, Yikes! Who do they think I am? What mutating and genetically altering nuclear crackhouse wastedump alien breeding ground are they finding my soulmates? Oh, 15 mile radius. I mean, I know I'm no prize, but Dang!!! The Geiger Counter in my pants is going off!
I went on one online date years ago, it was good, but I would never go out with the choices I'm being offered from Yahoo now. Besides, I'm really too old to date online. I imagine my time to find real love has passed. There's a beautiful woman I do dream about every night, she has my heart, but I don't believe she's real.
I'm not really looking, I just never closed that Yahoo account and I still get their spam. I figure love is like trying to grab water in your hand. It's illusive. You chase it, it goes away, you want it, it never arrives, you can't force it. You just have to be happy with yourself and be still and true love may find you.
But I doubt I'll believe it when it comes for me, I'll think it's some horrible prank, a scam, a hoax!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Have you ever had a dream that came true?
I asked her, as we both stared at the ceiling and the light passing across it, "How do you think you found me?" She slid her hand into mine and our fingers entwined. She said, "This world ain't strong enough to keep us from each other." She rolled over to me. She put her leg between mine and laid her breasts on my chest. She kissed me. I could feel her heart beat in time to mine. She looked down deep into my eyes and with utmost seriousness whispered, "I know you, from a previous incarnation."
I was washing her beautiful hair in the old tub with claw feet upstairs. Her body stretched out in the water. Candle lights. Painted nails. Eyes closed. Quiet. I thought about our time together. The thrift store fashions shows she put on for me. Her laugh when twirling in the dress. Chasing me with the water hose when we washed her truck. Dancing in the rain. Laying on her roof at night with quilts to see the shooting stars. Why, when I'm so happy do I have to wonder, "How long can it possibly last?" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtkmRiA5UOE
We put her futon in the bed of her old pickup truck and spread it out. We pulled up to the Tiki Drive In Movie Theatre, but the Cult Classics Festival was sold out. "Don't worry, baby. I have a better idea anyway," she said. She drove me high up a mountain on a dusty road and parked on a slope overlooking a lake far below. The sun was setting and the sky was pink. "How do you know about this place?" She grabbed the blankets and climbed up in the truck bed. "All the kids used to come up here and make out," she said pulling off her cowboy boots. "Did you?" I asked stepping over the tailgate. "No way! I'm a good girl." We made love under the stars on the futon in the truck bed and as soon as she came she said with a laugh, "I'm so glad I remembered to use the parking break!"
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
In the cemetery, I had been shooting a video and I found a grave with...
...her first name on it. Carved on the tombstone was "Beautiful Loving Wife." I thought hard about her on the drive back and wondered if she could be the one. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xrzfv_inxs-never-tear-us-apart_music
When I pulled into the driveway she was working in her garden. She looked up and brushed her hair aside with a muddy glove leaving a smudge of dirt on her forehead. She smiled. She handed me a basket of cucumbers. I handed her the chocolate she likes that I picked up as a surprise on the way back. She kissed me. Deep. Slow. Powerful. The kind of kiss that can etch itself in stone.
When she crawled toward me slowly with only her stockings on from the foot of the bed with that look, some old wall inside me crumbled. Her skin was cool and fresh. It was right. Images blurred. I closed my eyes. In the music we found a path. I was seeing us in my mind. Vertigo. I sensed our molecules had obliterated some impenetrable field. We merged. The nexus between our minds and matter gave way to cascading emotions and collapsing fear. I was falling. It was as if one soul in the distant past had been split and lost, but now had been reunited. "Is it the wine?" "Shut up, baby," she whispered to me right before her body tensed up, her back arched and she released her sweet breathy scream.
Walking into her kitchen the next morning before sunrise I could hear her making pancakes. We sat at the kitchen table and drank orange juice. We didn't say a word. She sat in her chair with both feet on the seat and bare knees up together next to her face. She rested her chin on her knees. Her eyebrows raised up and then down in some secret code. Her slight contented smile widened. I thought she was looking at me, but she was looking past me. I turned to see out her back porch window, a wall of mist pass across her big backyard like something in a dream. "I want this to really be happening to me," I thought to myself.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Here it is, The World Premiere of The Mad Scarlets Music Video I Directed!
It's called, "Hey Sister" and it is my Feminist video!
I know you might think it's dated, but now more than ever one needs to be aware of how easily things in these troubling times can change for the worst. People's minds are elsewhere. People are concerned for themselves. People are busy arguing over healthcare. I mean, How can it get worse?
The World Health Organization reports that over 80,000 women and girls die from unsafe, illegal abortions every year, and experts place that number at as many as 200,000. We have to do something about this!
The National Victim Center indicated that over 700,000 women are raped or sexually assaulted annually in the US. The laws of many countries around the world, such as Uruguay and Ethiopia allow rapists to escape punishment if they marry their victims. Jesus!
The United Nations Populations Fund estimates that as many as 5,000 women and girls are murdered by family members each year in so-called “honor killings” around the world. I didn't know what that was until I looked it up. I can't believe this is the World in which I live!
Women are beaten, stoned to death, abused for such crimes as wearing pants, or not covering their face. I worried about whether I should get an iPhone and some father is allowed to murder his daughter for trying on a pair of jeans just to see how they would feel.
But hey, don't let me bring you down, please enjoy this video I made!
In 1971 the U.S. Congress designated August 26 as “Women’s Equality Day.” The date was selected to commemorate the 1920 passage of the 19th Amendment to the Constitution, granting women the right to vote. See what your workplace and community is doing to celebrate and educate!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Takes time to find the right one and to let the right one in, but sometimes you knew all along.
She asked me if I wanted to come over and see her pictures from a photo shoot earlier that day and when I got there her old house was filled with people dancing and drinking. I moved from room to room looking for her. People were kissing. Colored lights bathed each room in different moods. In the kitchen I finally saw her all alone leaning over the sink, she was breaking up a big bag of ice, her skirt was made of old ties she collected from thrift stores and sewn together. And just as she turned to me and smiled, this song came on.
She said, "Watch this movie!" As it played we drank red wine. She sat on the couch and I sat on the floor. Her right leg laid over my shoulder and I held her ankle. Her other leg wrapped around my left side and her bare feet rested together in my lap. With her finger tip she circled my left ear so gently it tickled. When I held the glass, her warm hand slid down my chest under my shirt. We passed the glass back and forth until the bottle was empty and the movie was over.
"Things are going to change in my life," she said. I sat on the edge of her bed with my back against the wall. She hugged her pillow as she whispered to me her situation. The candle on the nightstand flickered. She slid her toes under my crossed legs for warmth. Her eyes glistened, "Will you still be there for me when I climb out of this?"
I heard the screen door slam on the back porch. She wasn't in bed with me. I jumped up to look out the window. I saw her walking in just her t-shirt and panties and dragging the axe behind her in the backyard in the dark. I ran downstairs and I could see her chopping up her father's chair out on the grass. She was screaming. She was crying. I let her wear herself down, the chair was in pieces, then I slowly took the axe out of her hand and held her small trembling body in my arms. The branches in the tree made a halo around the moon.
It was dark. She was sleeping in the passenger seat. I was driving. It was raining. She didn't want me to leave her behind. The road ahead was empty and all I could think about was standing alone at the edge of the pier in Ventura looking out into the pitch Black ocean, every star visible, the crashing waves hitting the support beams and the wind that made everything bad go away.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
My panties on webcam girls are a real sexy turn on, but...
...aren't always the greatest quality. I swear this pic wasn't shot from space! I questioned whether even to post it, but I love the pics I get and want to share. You may not even be able to see that that's my face on her crotch!
Right where it should be!
http://www.cafepress.com/jerrylentz
When girls take the time to order my tees and panties and take pics for me, I get a lil' choked up at how sweet that is!
I'm a sensitive guy! I even squirted a few tears at the end of "The Time Traveler's Wife" when I saw it yesterday. I could have gone to see, "District 9" but no, I wanted to get in touch with my emotions, to feel, and think about you and me and how time and love can tear us apart and put us back together.
But also, because I knew Rachel McAdams would get nude somewhere in that beautiful story!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Went to the movies tonight to see that new prequel to "Twilight" called...
..."Little Ashes" have you kids seen it yet?
http://www.littleashes-themovie.com/
Just kidding!
It's about Dali, and I told a guy that tonight and he said, "Oh, I love Dolly Parton."
It's also about Federico GarcÃa Lorca and Luis Buñuel, as well.
It was the last night it was playing and I wanted to support the film, so I went as did several Robert Patterson Fan Club girls, who were bored out of their empty skulls until he got nude. Then they freaked when they found he got nude to have sex with a man.
I went through a deep Salvador Dali and Luis Buñuel phase a few years back seeing and reading everything I could about them. So that's why I went. I enjoyed the movie. I love that time period, old Madrid and stories of the avant-garde.
At the end of the film, in the closing credits it says, "No Animals were harmed in the Film" but they are forgetting the cow that gets it's eye sliced open in "Un Chien Andalou" which appears in the movie.
But I understand what they mean. I just thought it was funny.
http://www.zappinternet.com/video/danPvuMpaX/Un-chien-Andalou-1928
If you want to write screenplays and make movies, this book that I talk about in the new podcast is one you should have on your shelf! You will learn quite a bit in this podcast episode!
http://www.gcast.com/u/JerryLentz/main
Today's show is an interview with author and screenwriter, Christopher Riley
http://www.scripthollywood.com
"The Hollywood Standard: The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Script Format and Style" from Michael Wiese Books.
http://www.mwp.com/
Available at bookstores everywhere.
Salvador Dali and Luis Buñuel didn't have this book when they made that film, but you can, and who knows what kind of revolution you will start once you read it!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Once again my name is up on the marquee, in lights, where I...
...belong!
Thanks Steve Kellener, for making that happen!
Truly one of my favorite bookstores to run into famous people. It used to be an old movie theatre! Met cool Actor/People there like Andy Griffith, Buddy Ebsen and even Angelina Jolie's dad! They also have a great section about Film!
Being that it's Wednesday... It's "All Joke Wednesday!" on my Facebook profile! YAY! Post your favorite jokes in the comments. Make people happy. Make the day fly by. Make the sad folks laugh. Please Add me and see all the fun we have!
http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Why fight and argue about Healthcare when we can just have sex with...
...each other over the Internet?
Hope you are like the Thousands that have not only found time to listen to the Jerry Lentz Podcast, but have subscribed for FREE. Many have found it the perfect way to become more productive in the workplace. Some have found it as a way to pass the time instead of talking in a bad relationship. Others learn new things as they wile away the minutes in a life they've found grows more meaningless with every passing moment.
Today's show includes:
Facebook Friends, Worst Break Ups, 20 movies, Neil Young, Oksana Grigorieva, Motley Crue, King of the Hill, John Hughes, J.J. Abrams, Dark Tower, Great America Theme Park, Perseids Meteor Shower, Artificial Bone and more! Hear the show on one of the amazing links below!
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http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml
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Monday, August 10, 2009
Girls love pressing my face on their asses, but...
...I'm not sure why?
This stylish Southern Cowgirl I've known since she was just 16 years old and now this full grown woman capable of making her own smart choices has gone and tattooed my face onto that sweet sweet ass of hers. I'm becoming the "Kilroy was Here!" of the Modern Age. I've become an Icon. A logo. A t-shirt at best!
Used to be a girl would tattoo my name on their ass for Pearl Jam backstage passes or some such contest nonsense, now no prize is needed. My face on a girl's ass seems to be its own reward.
Sunday, August 09, 2009
I can tell you, she's wearing nothing under this, because...
...I've peeked!
Deep into editing The Mad Scarlets music video and I must say, it's the best music video I've edited all day! If I wasn't suffering from the heat, allergies, and blurred vision, I'd say they might just get their money's worth.
Got a sweet email from a former waitress, former model, former porn star, former GF (questionable) but always funny gal who I've written about in the past asking me about how my life is going... I hate when she asks that because you can never top hers.
She only asks me when I'm down and my life sucks. She's never going to ask that question when her life is sucking donkey balls. I doubt she's done that, by the way.
She's a very sweet girl. Very silly. We used to have lots of fun. She can really make me laugh.
So she tells me she's in Buenos Aires making a movie with her wealthy Argentinean Rock Star boyfriend. She said she still does nude modeling and will only do girl on girl in porn because she's really in love with her new guy. Sweet.
I try not to get down. I try not to get depressed. I focus on the fact that it must be hotter in Buenos Aires than in The Queen City in which I find myself sweating. Can't help but think I'm missing out on some great life out there in the world. A world where a pretty girl will love me and show her commitment to me by only having sex on the side with other girls.
Saturday, August 08, 2009
I found what will drive women crazy and make them want sex and it's...
...something I avoided buying because of all the ads for it.
When I couldn't find my favorite deodorant, Arm & Hammer Baking Soda, on the shelf, I had to improvise. I grabbed the first Axe stick I saw and there were many varieties. Still don't know what flavor it is, but the container has a copper brown design on it. But let me tell you, I put it on and all night long I kept trying to take a sniff of my pits every now and then just because it was so wonderful. Of course I didn't want anyone to see me doing it, so I'd reach up to rub the top of my head and casually tilt my head to the side. Inhale. Or pretend I was searching for something in my pants pocket and bend over as though I was looking into it. Take a whiff. Bring on a fake yawn and cover my mouth with the inside of my elbow. Sniff it! The aroma is fantastic! It's a real turn on. So much so, I couldn't wait to get myself in bed. Can't wait to try it out on a woman!
Later I dreamed I was a cool fashion designer. All my friends were beautiful models. I was having a party in my pad, which was on the bottom part of a giant Zeppelin. We were floating high over Milan and the Smashing Pumpkins were my party band. My new fragrance had just been unleashed to the world and we were celebrating. I was telling some funny story and everyone was laughing. Bar Refaeli raise a glass to toast me, Billy Corgan patted me on the back, Tom Ford yelled, "Speech!" I thought a bit and looked around the room at all those amazing looking people and said, "I just want people to be happy."
It was like I said something really stupid. Everyone looked at each other. Embarrassed I walked out onto the balcony alone as a storm cloud sparkling with lightning passed underneath the Zeppelin. I stared down onto the city far below. Something was missing from my life. Someone. The person I wanted to share all this with wasn't there. A missing girl.
In the dream, I began to wonder if that missing girl was a dream. I remembered that if I wasn't sure I was dreaming, I could try to see myself in a mirror. There was one on a table that some models were snorting coke off of, I picked it up and my image was all blurry. I held the mirror up really close and I started to see myself clearly, but there was a crackling sound and static was building up on the skin of the Zeppelin. The Captain's voice blared out of the speakers warning all of us, "Do not to touch another person because the static shock could trigger an explosion and send us all to a fiery Hell!"
Guests began throwing chairs through the windows and jumping to their deaths! I leaned over the railing and watched dozens of models flailing their arms and legs as they fell through the clouds below.
The image of the missing girl appeared in my mind and I needed to call her! I roamed the empty and trashed apartment to find the phone and just as I touched it...
The giant Zeppelin burst into flames and we lit up the night sky!
Friday, August 07, 2009
I know a lot of women that prefer machines...
...over men.
I would like to be a pleasing robot, not a war machine.
If I were a machine, I suppose I wouldn't fear death, I might fear rust. Or maybe I wouldn't have feelings at all, if I was lucky. I imagine though, I would have feelings. Maybe I would be a shy robot. A robot that wouldn't speak until spoken to. A robot that might try hiding behind a tree when a little girl spots me lifting a fallen bird's nest back up on a branch. The kind of robot that lifts the car and fixes the flat of a stranded and scared woman on a roadside at night. This robot might deliver a baby of a teenager too terrified to tell her parents and turned away by the Hospital for lack of insurance. I might be the very robot that would shelter Firemen and shoulder the collapsing building. Maybe a flying robot that could reach way up into the sky and collect a tumbling command module, and saving the Astronauts from a disintegrating space shuttle. I would like to the robot that sits at the bus stop with the worried little boy on his first day of
school, telling him he will be okay and that I will wait for him there when the bus brings him back. I could be the robot that sits beside an elderly person dying from cancer and moments from death, holding their frail human hands in my strong metal ones, telling them that soon I will see them in Heaven, even if there was no data to support it in my on board computer, yet mysteriously I can feel it to be true in my hydraulics.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
She told me she could shove it all in her tight lil' box...
* If you can't attack the data, attack the people, it's easier.
* Investigation is too much trouble, and nobody will notice the difference anyway.He's a great speaker!I run into so many people who don't believe in UFOs, or Ghosts, or Bigfoot, or Universal Healthcare, but they believe in Jesus and Angels and Hell and Noah getting swallowed by a whale and American Idol and tractor pulls and illegal aliens stealing jobs and Nascar...We sure live in a funny country sometimes! But I guess that's what makes it so special! And by "special" I, of course mean, "Retarded."The New Podcast is up and according to a review by French Audio/DJ Magazine, Ménière, "La radio de Jerry Lentz Podcast est brillante et drôle. J'écoute tandis que je prends le café et le pain dans un café et observe la pose plutôt petite de filles pour un photographe de mode. Je suis sûr que M. Lentz de apprécierait ceci aussi bien. M. Lentz est très populaire à Paris avec les fervents de film et les étudiants et les revolutionists qui souhaitent changer des choses, font des films et pour regarder de jolies filles dans les sous-vêtements."Not knowing French, I hope it's a good review! Thanks to Jean and Mimi for bringing it to my attention.In Today's Thrilling Podcast; Vanessa Hudgens Nude, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ridley Scott, Steven Tyler, Jay Leno, Budd Schulberg, Miley Cyrus, Stalkers, Barack Obama, Brazilian Teen Prostitutes, Dinosaurs for Jesus and UFOs!On Blubrry:
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http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=304095539
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Nothing lasts, does it? The thrill, the excitement, the fun, the fresh young...
...skin we once had fades and peels away like dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind.
Standing nude in front of my mirror above the sink trying to dye my graying goatee, I caught a glance at my body, though still hot, I noticed some loose sagging skin, flabby belly, an inordinate amount of hair growth, but if it wasn't for my fabulously long and youthfully beautiful penis, I'd feel I had nothing good to offer you at this age.
As I looked into my eyes I wondered if I should stop trying to find a girlfriend in America, or Canada, or Russian, or Thailand and start thinking about the possibility of fooling a beautiful blind girl into loving me. She might not be as disgusted. I could hold my breath and not make any noise as she undresses for the shower. She'll never know I'm there! I wouldn't have to dress up when I take her to a concert, or movie.
Who am I kidding? Is a beautiful blind girl going to love me for my personality? Don't answer! I've had a few rough days. I'm just thinking, don't mind me.
I'm about to change things! Do something different! Gonna get a new lease on Life! Gonna learn some new skills! Meet some new people! Change my routine! And I also may go back to spinning records/CDs in a Club like I used to do. I just had an offer! I had fun doing that back in the day, losing myself to the music, the beat, pleasing myself with a mix, and making cash! Don't forget the New Podcast is up! And more importantly, don't forget to tip and buy some t-shirts for Back To School! The Cool Kids love it!
On Today's Radio Show; $90 pizza, Tokyo Ear-Cleaning Salon Killing, Chinese Spacemen, Modest Mouse, Heath Ledger, Roger Daltrey, Playboy, Kurt Cobain, Robot Suit, Alien Sightings, Teenager Decapitated, Lizzie Borden, The Lovely Bones and more awesomeness! On Blubrry: http://www.blubrry.com/jerrylentz/
On Gcast: http://www.gcast.com/u/JerryLentz/main
The Feed: http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml
On iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=304095539
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Shy Girls can be dangerous when they get together and...
...try on the Jerry Lentz Podcast Clothing Line of tees and thongs!
http://www.cafepress.com/jerrylentz
Individually they won't do stuff like this. Posing for pictures in my thongs. Get them together and it's some weird peer pressure dare that causes them to do crazy stuff. Well, you can't see my image on the t-shirts because they are too shy to show their faces, but that's the way it goes. Thanks to all those that continue sending in the pictures!
I went to sleep really early last night. Slept very deep. Then had the most horrible dream! Now I fear my day is ruined, even as cute pictures of fans in thongs continue to arrive in my email. I wish I could shake this awful feeling I caught from the dream.
In the dream I discovered the home I lived in when I was a child was for sale. As a lark I went to see it and as I walked around the house and land, memories poured over me. The real estate agent told me to hang around the place and think it over. Well, it turned dark and stormy and I found that I couldn't start the car. I grabbed my backpack out of the trunk and a blanket off the backseat and decided to sleep in the empty house.
The place was dark as there was no electricity, but I found my old bedroom and there I crashed on the floor. Suddenly I heard talking in another room. I was getting scared. I didn't know what to do. Out of nowhere this kid walked in the room and turned on the light. There was a bunk bed, a desk and posters on the wall. He couldn't see me. I was invisible. I got up and listened to him talk to a woman in another room.
The kid seemed familiar.
It was ME!!!
I began to get panicked. Was I dead? Traveling in time? A Ghost?
The dream went on and on, I walked around saw my dad and mom both alive, saw my brothers all younger and I followed my younger self out into the woods behind the house where I used to go think to myself. I sat beside myself on a fallen tree.
The younger self turned to me with tears in his eyes and said, "All these dreams I have, all these things we want to do and you can't make them come true! How could you ruin it? You've ruined everything! You're not talented at all. We're nothing!"
It was at that point I jerked awake. My heart was racing and there was this awful lump in my throat. I wanted to cry. Why dream something like that? Why am I hurting myself? Why even sleep if this is what awaits me?
What a great start to the day!
Monday, August 03, 2009
Some Cute Girls, who are former students of mine are now wanting me...
...to let them use The Jerry Lentz Podcast as a school project.
Not sure what all they plan to do, but they said they want to design a logo, marketing plan, street team promotions, guerrilla billboards, and other stuff for school. They were students of mine when I taught Radio and TV Broadcasting in the NBC/Universal Building in Los Angeles, now they are in an art school for design and marketing. Seems they do everything together.
It's funny, I still hear from some of the kids in my class. That makes me feel so good! Mister Chips must have felt this way. Humbert Humbert, and Mary Kay Letourneau, too!
So many people are getting behind the show, they support it by sending me news items and funny stories and jokes and many listeners create photoshoped pictures, artwork and posters. Many people that I look up to have taken the time to write me and comment on the podcast. These people you would probably know, but I never feel comfortable mentioning them. I don't know why? It just feels funny, like I'm name dropping or something. But these letters do mean a lot to me!
What really means a lot to me is when someone thinks enough of it to donate a gift to the podcast, leaving a tip in the Tip Jar on http://www.jerrylentz.com or buying a t-shirt at http://www.cafepress.com/jerrylentz so many have and that is very touching!
Many people write me saying where can they find the show? I can't believe they can't figure it out! They can subscribe for free to it in any number of ways. Many people listen to one episode and then forget where they heard it when they want to hear the next one. That's why subscribing is the best way, either through iTunes, Gcast, Blubrry... But the best way may just be to go directly to the Feed:
http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml
Sunday, August 02, 2009
The Boob Tube has big fat fake floppy implants, but...
...they're just not that fun to watch anymore.
Too many channels of crap!
There were shows I loved, okay, but I'm burned out. When I was Tivoing shows, the amount of shows I stored up was very few. I haven't done the math, but I may be better off just Netflixing and buying shows on iTunes than getting cable or Dish.
The most exciting stuff for me is still on YouTube!
There are some amazingly creative folks out there doing great stuff on their own little channels and making money doing it. I need to make more content for mine! I have a ton of stuff, I hope you can find the time to peruse my channel.
http://www.youtube.com/jerrylentz
Just saw "The Hurt Locker" and I LOVED it! Kathryn Bigelow is an awesome director! She also is very tall and beautiful! I was watching her film, "Point Break" just for fun and if I were in the movie, and was robbing a bank wearing President masks, which President would I be?
I guess I'd be Abe Lincoln with a fully loaded automatic stovepipe hat!
Then I shoot my TV! Just like Elvis!