Aww, Gawddamn! That is one cute baby right there! Any Ladies out there want one just like it? I can put something just like that in you! Lemme know! I'll just whip it you for ya!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
I've got that one handled!
I get asked a lot about what new things I will do in 2010...
Don't really understand why anyone cares what I do, or see the point in planning something I will either have taken away from me, cost too much to do, or not have the energy to even try. My goals just aren't grand enough I suppose to elicit unstoppable enthusiasm and drive.A reoccurring dream I have, other than the one when an old stinky lady sits on my chest trying to smother me, or the one where my penis swells up so large that it's bigger than me, then consumes me, takes over my life and does a better job with it than I do, as a successful and scheming Capitalist...
No, the reoccurring dream I mean, is the one where I'm in a canoe floating down a river passing all sorts of life on both banks.
I love that one.
There are treasures in the water, on the banks there are diamonds and gems, pretty girls wave and smile every so often, there are picnics, a distant house is seen burning, fish swim by, fruit hang from arching branches, a funereal for parents that have died, babies are born, kids swing on ropes and fall into the water and the most beautiful girl in the world swims over and climbs into the canoe with me.
I love that dream. Doing nothing but dreaming in 2010, that's what I'm doing!Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I'm so delicate and so easily breakable, you will handle me with care, right?
I worry so much. I try to be strong, but there are so many forces that seem to be against me! I need Angels like you to guard me and fight for me!
Protect me! Defend me! Love me!
Charlie Sheen and his wife Brooke want to reconcile, even though she told police he put a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her less than a week ago! Love is so awesome! It conquers all.
I need a prenuptial agreement with myself for myself, I could easily hurt myself. I get a great idea and then wait for it to fade away. I do nothing about them. These ideas that hover over me like puffy clouds. Self Sabotage. I get so angry at myself, I could just blow up!
With a suicide bomber detonating his explosive vest at a military base in eastern Afghanistan killing eight Americans and there being New Year's Eve Terror Threats on high alert, is it wise for me to be flying on American Airlines these next few days?
I would miss you so. I would miss me, too.
If you could kiss your beautiful babe, or me on the lips at midnight on New Year's Eve, where in the world would you like that magic moment to take place?
I'd like it at Tavern on the Green!
I'm gonna miss Tavern on the Green, I loved going there when I was near Central Park, and on New Year's Eve, it will serve its last meal.
I haven't got all the info, I wish I had known sooner, cause I'd like to go there one more time. I will be very sad when it's gone.
Dang! Where are all these bills coming from? "The Secret" is suppose to be bringing me money in the mail, not BILLS!!!
Maybe, as my friends say, I need a bigger "Vision Board" and that could be true. I could make a whole wall-size one in my living room, instead of the wallet-sized one I have.
I'm thinking I will now use "The Secret" to manifest my giant "Vision Board" or will that be like putting instant coffee in the microwave and traveling back in time?
Maybe it's true, that dreams and wishes are like lil' eggs that need to be cared for by caring and loving people. I love eggs! I've been on my Atkins™ Diet for 29 Days, almost a whole month now, that's a lot of eggs!
Once my eggs hatch, I just bet 2010 will be my year!
Monday, December 28, 2009
If I was King of the Moon, I would...
...make you my Queen!
It may be desolate there, but we could move into the Kingdom I built in a crater. There's plenty of water with all the pools, underground rivers, streams and the light comes from the giant crystals. We could float down through the caverns on a Moon Canoe and make love on a soft bank of Lunar Moss. I know you want to live near your family, and you may, but when go to bed at night and look out your window, look up at me and remember how much I love you.Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Day and Night of woozy dreaming has...
...just taken place for me as day before yesterday I was standing in my living room preparing put in action my plan for success and happiness when out of the clear blue sky I felt a big sneeze building up with that deep tickle in the sinuses and it let loose with an explosion!
As I was reeling from blast escaping from my face, I felt and heard my back snap! Crrrrraaaaaaccckkk! There was a numbing pain spreading out across my spine and chest. The wind was knocked out of me, I couldn't breathe and I felt my knees buckle and I slowly fell to the floor. Oh, the Holidays are gonna suck! This has happened before, just can't remember it being caused by a sneeze, so I know the only thing that helps is to get flat on my back and stay there. For as long as necessary. Days even. Remembering there was some painkillers left by a friend who lives with chronic pain who thought he might need them in case he were to visit, I searched my brain to figure out where they were and if they were within safe crawling distance. I saw a bottle. That has to be them. I pull myself across the carpet burning my elbows as I go. Pain shooting through me. I shake the end-table until the bottle rolls over and falls with the lamp. I get the bottle. No luck! It's a bottle of Equate Aspirin 81mg... FUCK! Okay, I'll take 5 of them, at least it'll help, right? Not easy pills to swallow without water. They're small. They stick to the back of your throat. Bitter. Gag! Maybe 4 hours later I'm high as a kite! Dreaming and floating and moving through sweet water or maybe the air has become molasses. Today, after thinking about all I learned in the Alchemical Garden at the Edge of Time, it occurred to me that my friend left his pain medication in an empty Equate Aspirin bottle. My laser light show was being powered by 250mg of DARVON®!!! I survived, but I met my Spirit Guides and they ROCK!Friday, December 25, 2009
It's a White Christmas here where I am!
Thanks for all the gifts, treats, cards, wishes and sweet thoughts!
Love, JerryThursday, December 24, 2009
Hope you have a Merry X-mas!
If you're like me and find yourself all alone on Christmas, don't worry, we have each other!
Now do something good for yourself and take some time, sit in a soft chair, close your eyes, listen to one of my favorite stories by Theodore Sturgeon, published in Galaxy Science Fiction, February 1953 and broadcast on NBC, January 9, 1957 on one of my favorite radio shows, "X-Minus One" this is "A Saucer of Loneliness," please listen. It's not about the Holidays, but it might just be about you and me.http://www.jerrylentz.com/
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Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Man, do I need a hug!
My computer keeps crashing! I'm trying to record some audiobooks and I had to buy new equipment and I really don't have the money to spare.
I don't get it! I should be wealthy! I am told daily by friends and even total strangers how talented I am. I've won awards! I have a great collection of press clippings! I've had huge ratings! I have a popular and highly celebrated podcast! I've been on Tee Vee! I'm about to be seen on The Biography Channel!
Yet, where's my money?
When my dad was dying and I was sitting by his bed and it was late at night in the hospital, I thought to myself I don't want to be old and poor. I may have even said it out loud. I know I will be old, but I don't want to be poor at the same time.
I get so depressed when I have to make sure I have enough money for something, like a piece of equipment I need to finish a project, or food. I hate having to choose whether I need electricity or Health Insurance, Jack Link's Flammin' Buffalo Style Chicken Nuggets or my Vitamins, Water or Gas.
I wish my mom was still alive just so I could talk to her and have her say something that would make it all better.
I'm still in Ketosis, not thinking straight, kinda sad, Holiday Blues, lonely... I need a serious hug!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Had this amazing dream that I was in my car and the alternator went out and the battery dies and the lights went out and it was dark and cold and wet as I went walking for help.
I walked through the misty wooded area looking for a house where I could borrow a phone, but I was getting lost.
Then I saw a bright light and thought it might be my car's headlights coming back on, something told me it was just an electrical short, but now it's working.
As I got closer to the car I walked through a roadside picnic area and there were two owls sitting on the picnic table. They just stared at me. It at first scared me, but then a calm fell over me and one of them began speaking to me in my head.
"It is important for you not to resist. You are fighting to stay afloat, but you will not sink. You are not even in water"
The other one in a female voice in my head said, "Everyone needs help. Everyone will want help at some point. You are squeezing too hard to hold on. Yes, you are dreaming now, but when you tell people your dream there will be one person that understands and they will help you. They will know exactly what you need and then the dream will be real."
Monday, December 21, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
I could hardly wait for "Avatar" to come out!
There cannot be a bigger James Cameron fan than me. Not just his movies, but all that he's accomplished, his designs, his patents, his companies, his research... The guy's amazing!
I even love when his films have 3 or 4 endings, you know when you think a film is ending then something else happens and it gets kicked up into another gear. He really gives you your money's worth.
Now, here's "Avatar" a film that was made for me, right? I'm the ideal person, politically, philosophically, economically, and emotionally. All my friends, even the ones who hate everything loved this film.
Why didn't I love it?
I dug it in so many ways, appreciated the artistry, and everything, but what happened?
First off, I didn't care for the 3D. I think I would have loved it 50% more had it been in 2D.
Then, there is a really good film in there if you could chisel away some stuff. I didn't care for any of the characters, but except for Zoe Saldana's, who is amazing to me.
Well, maybe I'll see it again. Maybe it was just me. Maybe I was not in the right mood. Maybe I just knew I would love it and took that love for granted and was more let down at myself for not caring for it as I thought I should have, compounding the problem more.
Still, it sure is pretty to look at in some spots.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
I love Facebook, I really do. I've met some wonderful people and made great friends and even have made nice money from it!
People used to argue with me about it's merit and wonder why I would waste my time trying to get to know people from all over the world. People that told me they'd never be on anything like it are now on there and forget even having those conversations with me.
The podcast has really helped me grow a new kind of friend/fan base and new listeners have come from Facebook, too. It really is a river that flows both ways.
There were former "real life" friends and former co-workers that I didn't care for after feeling slighted by, that have become new friends after the passing of time and healing of wounds and Facebook has truly been the catalyst for that wonderful change.
I was in the library the other day checking out some DVDs and a teen girl was talking about some old movie she had just watched with her mom and said, "Why when they were being chased didn't they text for help?" Her mother had to explain about how technology is always changing and certain things haven't always existed.
Facebook will be old soon. The Social Networks will all be old. Will they survive? How funny will it be when we have to explain it to our grandchildren? What will replace them. Will we become too dependent on them? Are we already?
How soon will it be before I grow bored and move on to real life?
Friday, December 18, 2009
I've always been a fan of Tom Green. I think what he's done and is doing now is pretty awesome. I believe just from what I know about him and what mutual friends have told me, we have lots in common. I was very moved by his recent blog post and wish him much success.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
One of cures for when the blues arrive...
...and by blues, I mean depression and not the musical genre... Some people can get it around Christmas and other junk. I do, but it can be anytime for me.
Anyway, one of the things I use to lift my spirits is to watch Norm Macdonald. He has always made me laugh. I believe he's a genius and surprised more of my friends don't get him. I've seen him in person a few times and once I laughed so hard I was sore for a week.Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I have lost a lot of weight...
...on this Atkins Diet, but meat is expensive, as well as murder! However, I'm treating my meat as a tool...
...and my tool needs a box!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
The New and Hopefully Improved Podcast is now up!
Strange podcast show today. Just listen! You'll dig it!
Area 69, Alien Abduction of a Teen Girl, Psychic Fiends, Listener Dreams of Murder, New Dinosaurs, World War 3, David Bowie Freezes His Pee, Farting Pigs, Dirty Thoughts on Paper, and Loneliness is the New Killer App! Having difficulties with my new recording studio and new recording equipment. Just horrible trouble. The sound may be weird, I don't know. Maybe it will be better. I'm so burned out listening to all the variations of sounds from different microphones, I just can't tell what sounds good anymore. My AT4050 CM5 has a bad component, my Cubase AI5 just picked up a fault in the AE35 unit, it's going to go 100% failure in 72 hours and I gotta go over to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters, so my Recording Studio is in FAIL. Then, after much praying I decided to ignore sound quality for now and go with quantity and compelling podcast content! This podcast is a doozy! You'll just have to hear it! Find links to generous supporters of The Jerry Lentz Podcast and consider being a supporter of this Independent Radio Show yourself by visiting the Magic Ball Tip Jar on this site. http://www.jerrylentz.com Listen, subscribe and share this podcast in various ways by visiting these links! http://jerrylentz.podomatic.com/ http://www.blubrry.com/jerrylentz/ http://www.gcast.com/u/JerryLentz/main http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=304095539Monday, December 14, 2009
The Ladies dig my stories!
Several messages, comments and email from some very well known authors of erotica, romance and porn, as well as a few literary agents have been kind enough to take a break in the hurried Xmas shopping to let me know how they are enjoying my words.
Yay! If I can't make you wet in person, I'll try hard with my writing.Sunday, December 13, 2009
When she saw him her only emotion was relief. She waited long enough.
The prolonged anticipation was unbearable. It had been years. Jerry seemed to be peering at her intently from his image on her monitor. She stared with longing at him. She even imagined with such clarity the sound of his voice and the heat of it on the back of her neck.
She lowered the light in her room. They were alone now. She couldn't help but notice a tingle of excitement inside her. Her nipples, taut beneath the thin fabric of her blouse as she imagine his hot tongue lightly exploring the rosy peaks of her breasts. Her breath caught in her throat when she noticed he had posted a new Facebook status, a delightful shiver of wanting ran over her body, her dress crept up onto her thighs as she moved closer to her warm computer and waves of ecstasy throbbed through her as she clicked comment. What would she say to him? Could she say she wanted him? How would he respond? In posting on Facebook Jerry found a mindless solidity that helped camouflage the deep despair of loneliness, but she responded and arrived in his room, her breasts surged at the intimacy of his touch and that warm kiss in the hollow of her neck. She felt his lips touch her like a whisper. His moist, firm mouth demanded a response. She kissed him with a hunger that belied her outward calm. She began tearing at her clothing to free her body, a body that was swirling in flames, blood pounded in her brain, leapt from her heart, and made her knees tremble. He lifted her nude body and laid her on the bed. His body imprisoned her in a web of growing arousal. He quickly undressed as she lay panting, her chest heaving beneath him. His clothes slid away from between them like an opening curtain revealing exquisite emotions, and a floodtide of liberation for her mind and body. Their hands and mouths began an exploration of the soft flesh. She writhed under his body. Skin to skin, they were as one. Her body melted against his and her world was filled with Jerry.Saturday, December 12, 2009
Take my hand, you know I'll be there if you can...
...I'll cross the sky for your love. And I understand. These winds and tides, this change of times, won't drag you away.
Hold on, and hold on tightly! Hold on, and don't let go of my love.Friday, December 11, 2009
Been reading Marc Eliot's "American Rebel: the Life of Clint Eastwood," so I thought I should round up some of his films and have a party! I've been planning it for a while.
So I'm glad Friday is here cause there will be a Clint Eastwood Film Fest at my house! The line up is:
"Gran Torino," "White Hunter Black Heart," "Thunderbolt and Lightfoot," "The Beguiled," and "Kelly's Heroes."
I know that may be a strange list for some, but I went through his westerns not long ago. These are just favorites of mine, so I'm looking forward to it!
The Menu is:
Lemon Herb Rotisserie Chicken, some Cheese and Cashew Nuts! I wish I could have some wine, but still on my diet.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Things are going pretty good for me now, he said fibbing to himself! So I've been thinking what it might be like to get married again.
Billy Idol understands that it's a nice day to start again!
Been watching some videos that started me thinking...
Guess I was sorta fantasizing about singing something like this to the girl of my dreams and wondered if there was a perfect wedding song for us.
We all could sing and be so happy, just like this... Before Our Wedding! We'll cause a scene in the restaurant and split before the check arrives then I'll bang you in the hotel.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Michael Caine is one of my favorite actors. I wore his Acting in Film Masterclass documentary out when I owned it on VHS, but I still have a 1st edition of the book.
I believe everything one would want to learn about acting could be found by watching him in his films.
The part where he talks about his father's death and the life of the poor is heartbreaking!
I think Michael Caine is one of the coolest guys acting today and can't wait to see this!
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
After having some fantastic days of happiness, now I find myself rather sad.
Not sure why.
Maybe it's the diet. Chemical changes in my brain. Weather. Hopefully you will write me a wonderful email that will boost my spirit and refrain from trying to be funny, mean, edgy and kicking a guy while he's down with a snotty sarcastic note. I'm so ready and able to de-friend mean and toxic people from my life.Monday, December 07, 2009
It looks like I'm building a coffin, but...
...I'm building a Sound Booth in my studio!
Already blew my Christmas money on it and that was going to help needy children and to buy gifts for relatives, but it was a needed expense as the producers and engineers of Audiobooks are waiting on me! I'm covered in styrofoam bits, tape, sweat and glue. Worn out! High from the fumes of toxic materials used here to help make me sound even more fantastic in my future recordings. My friend, Tim Lucas reminds me; 100 years ago today, my hero, Arch Oboler, the creator of the classic radio horror series "LIGHTS OUT" was born! http://www.oldtimeradiodownloads.com/mystery/Lights-Out/index.php Kind of a neat coincidence that I'm doing what I'm doing on this date! Years ago, while working on a documentary about the man, his work and life. I drove out to Malibu where his Frank Lloyd Wright built house stood unfinished after Oboler's little boy drowned there. If I wasn't abstaining from alcohol this month, due to my Atkin's Diet, I would drink to him and his work and how he influenced me, so instead, this Jack Link's Teriyaki Beef Steak Nugget is for you, sir!Sunday, December 06, 2009
I used to have friends...
...that would say, "You shoulda been around when Brando was onstage!" "You should have seen Ben Gazzara being directed by Elia Kazan!"
Those old friends are dead now. But I'm really happy to be alive in the time of Mark Ruffalo! He really is one of my favorite actors. Can't say I've ever seen a single misstep from him in any of the characters he's played. To me, it's always an event when one of his films come out.Saturday, December 05, 2009
Suddenly the scales have become my friend! No fear of stepping up on them. No fear of the digital readout. No excuses.
Stripping down to nothing has no drawback for me other than the cool breeze in my place and the preponderance of crotch-high sharp cornered home decor.
All this weight loss seems to have thrown my back out of whack. Ketosis and Painkillers, thank goodness I'm not driving!
I'm the mostess in ketosis, woozy as I post this!
When I do the Atkin's, I load up on Jerky, BBQ Pork Rinds , Cheese, Ex-Lax® Laxatives and Mayo! I put the "Man" in Mayonnaise!
Lost 12lbs in 6 Days...
Suck It!
Friday, December 04, 2009
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Uschi Obermaier was a pretty wild chick!
I seem to remember having a poster of her on my wall. I believe she was topless. My mother must have been pretty cool to let me hang it there.
Just watched this movie and for some reason as it played I became uninterested even thought I love the time period, clothes and music. It is a good film, I think it was just me.
The actress Natalia Avelon is really great and brave, as she is nude throughout most of the film. She's just as beautiful as Uschi.
I should give the film another try sometime in the future. It does have one truly amazing and shocking death scene that is really well done! Oh, and there's lots of nudity!
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Actor, writer, and director, Paul Naschy, died of cancer in Madrid. He was 75.
Starting in the 60s, Naschy became a cult figure among horror fans.
Born Jacinto Molina Alvarez in Madrid, he wrote Western novels and was an extra in Nicholas Ray's "King of Kings." He created the werewolf character Waldemar Daninsky with his first starring role in "Frankenstein's Bloody Terror" then "The Mark of the Wolfman" "The Curse of the Beast" and "Tomb of the Werewolf" where I had the great pleasure of meeting him while shooting this film.
He was very sweet to me and those around me.
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