Maybe it's an adverse reaction so some allergy medicine I was taking, or stress, or something else entirely. Could be I fear the nightmares I believe are waiting just behind the door of dreams. They wait, snickering, breathing heavy and scheming their horrible plans to traumatize me. If I can't sleep, they will soon arrive anyway as my hallucinations spill over from the dreams into my waking life after some burst levee fails to hold back the horror.
My body has weakened. Spasms flicker across my body. There's lightening and static in my head. I'm being pulled along against my will to some uncertain doom. Where have all my good dreams gone? Just on the other side of this wall of sleep, a crowd of nagging, critical and mocking entities conspire against me. I need the lovely, sweet, butterfly, treats, gold, diamonds, pearls and pretty girls kinda dreams I used to have. Have they been run off? Have they been devoured by the horde of ugliness that now hover in the shadows, loading revolvers, sharpening rusted knives, and designing new kinds of fear for me? I wish you were here! What could you do to help me sleep if you were here by my side? I dreamed about this Angel that would sit on the edge of my bed and watch over me almost every night for 30 years. She's so beautiful. Sweet kind face and a loving smile. Where is she now? Have you ever loved anyone so much you thought your heart would burst, or when you were apart your body ached for them? It's like I don't understand the controls of dreams, what lever can I pull, what button can I push? I call for her, but she only arrives at my side when I least expect it. I reach out for her and she fades away. I talk to her, when she answers only her lips move and I can't hear what she's saying. It's like trying to squeeze water in your fist. She's gone when I need her most. Will she return to me?
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