That's me modeling in the picture! Seriously! Don't you want a piece of that? Look at me for a second, please. Look how perfect that head is. He must be smart cause that head is huge, so the brain must be huge and he's got glasses on, so he's a reader, that's also very smart. Look how broad his shoulders are! Those big strong arms can wrap around you! Hug you! Lift you onto the bed! See those big delicate, well manicured hands and long tapered fingers, imagine them lightly caressing your nude body! Driving you insane! Look at his sleek 6 foot 2 inch body! Imagine him nude laying on top of you with your legs wrapped around his waist. Mmm, he's making me so fucking hot and I'm right here with him. I think he's ignoring me though, cause he's still typing. Okay, never mind, continue... His size 13 feet means of course he has a good foundation to stand on, and other things...
How can you just sit there? He's waiting for you! What? You think he's gonna get in his beat up Honda Civic and drive down to see you in this heat? What about gas money? He can't play unless he gets some pay! If you think he's cheap... Well, you got another thing coming! Picking up laundry today the lady that washes my dirty things and always asks me to go to her church because she correctly suspects me to be the devil, said, "You need new clothes! These clothes are too big for you!" So this week I will have lost 90 pounds since Dec 1st! That's like losing a 90 pound supermodel! When I first got my exercise equipment I couldn't do one chin up. It was awful. I had lost so much weight, but so much muscle mass, too. Yet, every time I walked past that bar, I was compelled to try it again. Now I can do 20! I'm still going to keep adding more to it. I'm getting better. My abs are starting to show and as soon as some more money comes in, I can afford the assorted supplements I need to help burn off more belly fat. Also I've been adding lots of cool yoga moves to my routine. 10 Days till the 1st? I haven't even paid this month's rent? I need a J. O. B. so b. a. d.! A girl at Barnes and Noble I ran into tonight asked me if I'd be willing to work in a Strip Club and being all excited about my new body I said, "Well, it's been years since I danced nude on stage, but... Ok, Yes!" She rolled her eyes, sighed and said, "No, I mean would you be willing to DJ at my Strip Club?" We'll see what happens. I used to go to strip clubs when I was younger cause I dated a girl that danced and also I knew some actresses that paid for acting classes by stripping, but mainly it was where I'd go to see real life. Many of my friends were dancers. We'd hang out. Eat at Denny's at 3am. Make little movies at my apartment, get them to act in my little plays, and have them over for pot luck dinners. Those were the days! We were young, creative and the world was full of possibilities! What happen to all the creativity and energy I used to have? I used to stay awake for days creating things! Now I'm up for days in some kinda panic-fear overdose... I used to be so smart and cunning! I could've figured out how to climb out of the hole I'm in, if I could only tap into that young Jerry I used to be! Where has he gone? I have a feeling the reason I couldn't sleep these last few days was that I was really going through something heavy, some kinda psychic fugue state, I was processing some very difficult stuff and my brain couldn't allow my body to shut down. I had very horrible dreams when I finally came out of it and the last dream was a pleasant vision of dancing in a glass green house with a beautiful girl in white to an old record player with newly planted flowers all around us. Something new. Something reborn. A new beginning! Maybe my mind was reprogramming itself, maybe I am now operating with a different OS than before. Hopefully, I'll be happier. Maybe it was something with my weight-loss, the old fats cells had stored certain chemicals, or memories and as they burned off those memories and chemicals passed through my brain in the bloodstream like tape across a tape head in a recorder. Maybe it's over now and I can begin again? Maybe good things are on the way for me? Maybe money will come for my tuition? Maybe money will come for rent? Maybe you'll have an idea on how to help me out?
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