Come on! My face is worn out from smiling. You are my cheerleader working it so hard, shaking your ass to get me up. You are my funny lil' clown not afraid to be a fool to turn my frown upside down. You're willing to get wet, squirting seltzer water, going down a water slide, and spreading out on the diving board in your bikini, all to please me and make me happy. It's hot and no time to be sad! You make me laugh. Give me your autograph! My life right now is like I'm getting colonoscopy while riding in a bumper car! I'm in serious pain, but they are laughing. I don't think you're laughing at me, but maybe with me? I might be wrong. Maybe you are laughing at me, too? Maybe they think it might be a sign of weakness to show they care? Maybe they think my stretch of bad luck will rub off on them? So they ignore me. Is it a virus? Is it really a dark cloud hovering over me? Can you help me make it go away? Can we hide? Can I kiss you on the Tunnel of Love?
Ever wake up early in the morning ready to face the day, get things done, make a difference in your life, see the people in your neighborhood, take care of chores, but as you get up and move around, you go, "Yeah, I don't think so..." and you wanna crawl back into bed? What do you do?
I never learned to drink coffee. Never could stand the taste of it. It's hard to get stimulated when the only liquid you consume is water. Maybe someone sweet will teach me about coffee and find the perfect brew for me, someday. See, I don't have any addictions, so getting hooked on caffeine doesn't sound appealing. I already have trouble sleeping. If I did get hooked, maybe a sweet girl could help me kick the habit by locking me in her room, then I could sweat it out? Maybe that would be appealing? Maybe she's a caring, nurturing type?
Do you have a friend that constantly insults you, thinking it's funny? Maybe they even give you gifts, so they can continue to get their kicks insulting you without them feeling guilty about it? Are they just bullying you, making themselves feel better about their own lives by enjoying your pain? What do you do with this, "friend?"
I helped blow a young girl's mind and opened her up to new/old things! The other day I was talked to a friend in Dallas, a single parent of a 16 year old girl that's in love with Lady Gaga. Out of the blue, I sent her some some stuff on Siouxsie and the Banshees. Just now she wrote me that her world has changed! How did I get so cool in the eyes of a teen girl? Like that!
I show be really happy right now! As per my scales at 4PM this past Thursday, since last Dec 1st, I have lost a total of 100 lbs! I think I need to lie down. Can you take a cold washcloth and wash me? Can you fan me for a bit? Sit beside me and sing to me? I should celebrate somehow. Maybe a big chocolate cake! Can you feed it too me? I'm too weak to do it myself.
Well here I'm am, into this new month without enough for rent, still haven't paid rent for last month, bills are due and late, work has stopped, my sales are nonexistent... But I see I'm not alone in having $ trouble; Schwarzenegger's order to pay California workers minimum wage, a couple funds their wedding with recycled cans, companies that might close soon are: Zales, Rite Aid, Borders, Liz Claiborne... So why should I feel so bad? At least I'm not alone!
I've already hit a bad spot on the start of a new month and I am feeling down, bummed, depressed, sad, gloomy... Can you, with the powers you have for this sort of thing, say something that will cheer me up?
I don't know what it is? Is it the drugs in my system? The melatonin, the 60 odd daily vitamins, the Benadryl? Is it the weight I'm still losing? Is it because it's the beginning of a new month? Is it because I'm so far away from you? Is it because I can't feel your touch? Is it because my bed is so empty? What happened to me, used to be that I could do anything? I don't seem to be able to do anything right. I'm having some sort of roadblock in me. Some wall I'm hitting. I don't know what it is, but something in me refuses to let me be happy for any length of time.
If you could come up with the ultimate expressing of love for someone you cared deeply for, what would you do and what would it be? Imagine that the person sees it, feels it, knows it's really for them. Would it be physical, emotional, cerebral? Can you give it by touching them, speaking it to them, writing to them? It is hard, that's true! I want you to figure it out, go down deep, find the raw answer. Show me what comes up!
I should be able to bottle this feeling of love when it pours on me, so I can drink it later. It's so hard to hold on to it. It's big and wants to slip away. I want someone to show me how they'd hold it, hold it inside, use it to feel good...
I just want to feel good! I'm tired of feeling sad. Life should be an amusement park!
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