I had a strong craving for fruit pops yesterday, but I'm still low carbing it. Why? Just look at yesterday's post! I even thought about chewing some ice. When I finally hit my ideal weight, I will go back to my frozen fruit treats that I loved before. I missed popping strawberries, blueberries, black cherries and other things into my mouth! I love freezing fruit and eating them. I love smoothies! However, I will have to really watch the sugar intake when I end my low carb lifestyle. If I ever do end it.
Dang, is it me or was yesterday DULL? What could I do to get the bland taste out of my mouth? Can't even drink booze anymore! The booze I like anyway. If it weren't for the carbs, I'd be drinking till I was drunk on my ass and you'd have to take care of me! My life has been really rough lately and getting drunk to numb the pain is what I need, but I guess I'm not really a drinker. Couldn't afford it anyway! Rent is due today and I haven't paid last month's yet! I just checked my bank account and I have $18.68! That's all I have!
If you suddenly notice days going by without me posting on here or my Facebook page, chances are I'm homeless. This has been the absolutely worst it's ever been for me. I don't know how I'm in this situation, but it sucks! I wish you could buy me a drink, even if it was a tall glass of ice water.
I am fanatical about having a straw when I drink. Weird, right? I have always loved straws. Crazy Straws to Pixy Stix straws! Now, I can have Ice Straws! I could chew them when the drink is gone! Imagine what could we drink with these?
Been getting a some email from people concerned about the supposedly racy content on my page. Sorry! I write what is going on in my head and recently I've been thinking about sex. A lot! Just hang and chill, it may pass. But maybe it's my weight-loss, the attention I'm receiving because of it, maybe I'm in love, maybe I'm trying to love myself more, maybe I'm just horny, maybe it's because I'm a Man?
Have you ever discovered the love letters of a deceased grandmother or another much older relative, and as you read them, realized these sweet little old ladies were in their younger days, dirty, nasty, little sex machines? How about nude photos of aunts, cousins, or even your mother? I remember the first time I saw my mother nude, other than when I was born, and seriously, I remember that, but I saw her getting out of the shower and I must have been about 4 years old and she would have been maybe 39. I saw her completely nude and I knew there was something special about that moment, because I never saw her nude again. I thought my mom was beautiful! I came across some nude photos of relatives once, very naughty photos when I was about 7. I think it changed my whole life!
Have you ever made a "sex-tape" with your partner, then later after breaking up, wondered where it went? What did you do? What do you think about former lovers sending you nude photos or videos of themselves? How does it make you feel? I couldn't imagine doing that, it makes me feel weird and it has happened a lot lately. I didn't ask for them. It isn't just one girl either. Yet, it seems to be a trend. I feel bad that I'm even bothered by it, because I think they believe it's sweet, a gift and they feel empowered by it, I suppose, but still... I would hate if my girlfriend or spouse was getting nude pictures or videos of her with her past lovers. I know it's all in the past and shouldn't bother us, but seeing a video of it makes it feel pretty current, unless it's the changing styles of clothing that pull us out of the viewing experience, but if they're screwing, they may not have clothes on, right? When I protest about seeing them in the nude, they seem to think it's cute that I'm embarrassed by it and continue.
The psychology behind girls, women and former lovers sending me their sexy pictures and videos is possibly interesting. Maybe a new phenomenon? Do they want to sabotage any relationship I might have now, or are they just kind of showing off? It's basically 3 women, but in the last few weeks, just 2 and it's odd that it all happened at around the same time, like something similar in all our lives were happening at the same time.
It started out with them sending me pics of us together, just hanging out, then they'd send a current pic of themselves nude, or in sexy poses. They'd ask what I was doing, they'd ask if I was married, or dating or had kids, then the nude photos and some sex videos comes, all showing me how good a shape they're in now I suppose. It was the sex video of me and a girl I once knew that upset me so much that I exploded. She hasn't bothered me since. I think I went overboard on her and I might have been a little mean. I got upset… Well, it's because I didn't know I was being videotaped at the time and when I saw it, I threw a fit. Maybe she thought at the time, she could blackmail me, and I wouldn't take it to court because of the embarrassment, as I was doing large market radio at the time, and was kinda famous. Who knows how many people have seen it?
In the short amount time that I actually did watched the video, before I lost it and went nuts, I did think I looked pretty good. I was so young then. Over 20 years ago! It makes me feel bad about the body I have now! See yesterday's post! Maybe it was her intention to show me that video in a hope that I'd like it so much I'd want her back. You know, I really screwed up because I was so furious and you know it takes a lot for that to happen to me, I'm a happy-go-lucky kinda guy, who knows what her plan was? She had the wherewithal to digitize it and email it to me, she has no tech skills, or didn't anyway, I get it that someone probably did it for her. She looked good in it because she knew the camera was on and played to the camera, but I didn't and it looked like I was in some kind of police sting operation.
Is there a sexual act you have thought you'd like to do, dreamed about even, but never have done before? What would it be and who would you like to do it with?
What's one of the best ways you've learned not to make a fool of yourself? To not be in a sex-tape if you can help it? To not write about your most inner most sexual thoughts on a blog? Stop talking? Duct taping your mouth shut? Duct Tape? Duct tape can be so awesome! I have a fantasy about duct-taping my nude girl's ankles and wrists to the legs of an old wooden stool and having my way with her. I even have the perfect black duct tape for the job, just need the perfect girl. She can struggle all she wants, but she won't be able to make a fool of herself. If she did, I'd have it on video to show all her exes!
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