Everything seems complex and contorted! I can't seem to do even the simplest things without having to focus and even then it doesn't turn out right. I so want to give up and just let life wash over me. I want to bury my head under the pillow and wait for a better day to arrive. I want to feel the warm body of the girl I've always loved to crawl under the blankets and slide up next to me. I want to hide with her away from everything painful. I want to run into the woods. Climb up the mountain to the cabin. To make a fire and sit down in front of it. To climb out onto the roof with a quilt and watch the stars with her. To hold her tight and let the world spin apart around us.
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