My car can't make another cross country trip again. My tires are balder than I am. My muffler is dragging the ground. It rides so rough.
Please be careful out there! This Xmas shopping is nuts! I almost got hit by a mom in an SUV filled with kids as she ran a light at about 90mph missing me by inches! Scary!
Okay Los Angeles Friends, listen up… looks like I might be coming back sooner than I thought... Can I sleep on your couch? Let me know of any gigs, too!
Might be appearing on a couple of TV shows, maybe do some more theatre work… I don't really know what I'm gonna do. I'm so lost right now. I got an offer to do some TV, the money is good, but it's on one of those shows where I would be totally humiliated and branded as a douche for life. Yet, I need the money. I'm so poor right now.
I was so awesome onstage last night! I wish you could have seen me! I'm not kidding, you know how I usually hate myself, so you know this must be true then, right? Good thing Sean Penn wasn't there to see it, because he woulda said, "Man, after seeing Jerry I realize I've been phoning it in all these years."
I hope tonight's show goes just as well! It's the last night. I've dreaded doing these, but now I know I'm gonna be sad it's over. I know the medication made it work for me performance-wise, I have all the same cold and flu medication laid out to try and capture that magical chemical cocktail combination that I achieved last night.
Maybe I should just up the dosage and get it over with… This is gonna be a very sad Xmas if it continues going the way it's going.
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