Look into my eyes! Now open your thighs!

Nothing pleases me more than using my hypnotic powers on a beautiful woman to get her to remove her clothing and eventually her undergarments! Some guys love playing videogames and twittering about sports, but I love clouding a woman's mind, impregnating her with suggestions and convincing her I'm the man of her dreams, the one she's always wanted, the guy for her, and the only thing she needs.

Women say, "Jerry, I think about you all the time!" One woman tells me, "I've always wanted you!" Even a teenager, I was later told, said, "When I saw you for the first time, a bell went off in my head and I knew you were the one for me!"

I'm not telling you all this to impress you, but I would like to impress upon you, just how amazing I am and how much I want you to know it. And if I could get you to undress while you're learning all this, whose the victim?

I was showing the above advertisement to some girls, because I love how old ads can look funny sometimes and I liked the copy, but their only response was, "Wow, she has some perky breasts!"

Recently, I was watching some Brando films and a friend who just turned 18 today said, "He sure was some kinda man!" I thought it was cool a girl so young could see past all these years to a black and white movie and get just as weak and hot as an 18 year old girl did when the film was first playing.

So on Facebook I posted a status something along the lines of, "is there anyone today that you know that has that kinda magnetism?" And the very first comment was, "Other than you?"

I wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic, or she really meant it, but other comments came below and messages and emails from various people that know me and some that think they do and all pretty much let me know, "Yes, Jerry you are magnetic! You are so hot! Something about you… I can't take my eyes off you! I wish I could touch you. In bed at night I imagine I hear your voice whisper close to my ear as your strong thick arm reaches around me from behind and your warm hand cups my breast."

Well, I know God put me on Earth to use my gifts and I'm a gift giver, so is it wrong to do what I was meant to do? I think not. But if you deny a gift from God, wouldn't that be a sin? And if you sin, shouldn't you get punished? Shouldn't you get down on your knees and beg forgiveness? Should I be the one to punish you? Shouldn't I make you lift your dress up and pull your panties down to your ankles and bend you over this desk and with my bare hand spank that sweet bottom of yours? …Just so it will sting, make your ass red, even burn a bit and remind you all day and night what a bad baby you are and how proper thinking gets rewarded?

"Jerry, I want you to spank my ass and I want you to reward me for thinking correctly because I think you are the love of my life!"

Okay! Thanks!

Was just informed by a beautiful woman in her 70s (who really does look to be in her 40s) the beauty secret she's been using for years, and I know a few gals who should look this good when they're her age if they keeping getting this special facial!

Well, it wasn't Preparation H she was talking about, but that works temporarily. This one, that the lady wrote to me about is all natural and "Man-Made."

Oh boy!

Made by one man at a time.

Again, this woman wasn't using Preparation H unless it was for her ass. She was using something hot and fresh whipped up by her man and applied directly to her face and chin and chest in a quick jerking motion. She said she gets this facial nightly, so I'm betting she has a much younger man making it for her.

She contacted me after finding where I mentioned Helen Gurly Brown's similar secret recipe for beautiful skin. My writing reaches all sorts of demographics! It's a sign that I could be a bestselling writer!

I suppose the person putting the plastic letters up on the sign for the motel I passed meant to say, "Rewards" however I did laugh out loud when I read, "Enjoy Our Beds with Big Retards!"

I got a new cellphone thanks to Jessica and Erin, but I have no idea how to access the camera yet. I hope the sign is still up when I figure out how to use it!

It must be "Cowboy and Indian Day" I keep seeing kids dressed up like that. Maybe it's a new thing, kinda like having your ass hang out of your baggy pants and wearing your baseball cap backwards? Let me know when it's "White Boy Day." It's not "White Boy Day" is it?

Overheard two women talking about a pastor of some Georgia mega-church that lured young men into sex, and one of them said when she was 15 she had been raped by a guy who later became a famous televangelist. (though I never heard of him) and I swear the other woman said, "Oh, it's a good thing you never told your father, it coulda ruined that preacher's career."

They both agreed.

What?!! Some people can so easily forgive and forget and move on… and allow the criminal to move on to other victims. But these were much older black ladies, so some would probably try and convince me it was cultural or the ways of an older generation. I wish I could forgive and move on easily! I know that one shouldn't have to feel the pain forever and maybe it's best to let it all go, cause who wants someone to constantly have to think about some horrible event and be the victim all their life? I guess that would be giving the criminal power if you just thought about them all the time. I guess I would hope you could forgive them and forget them all the while they were in prison.

There are so many lowdown dirty dogs out there and women that let them get away with their crimes, but the truly sweet men have their affections rejected and often ridiculed. What a great world it would be if kind people were rewarded for being good and loving. How happy I would be if I could take the bad memories and wave my hand in front of your face and mine and scramble up the past and change it to a happy image, a powerful and strong image that would make you feel protected, safe, healthy, and loved.

Was talking with my friend, Jerome about his old blind dog, Jax. Jerome said, "Took Jax to the veterinarian and the vet put a thermometer up his butt and when he pulled it out, he crapped all over the floor!"

So I said, "Who did?" and Jerome made a face, sighed, rolled his eyes and said, "The vet crapped all over the floor!"

I guess I wasn't listening close enough to the story.

Were you? Are you in a trance? Have you been hypnotized? Where are your panties now?

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I'm ready to go on the road again!

Hung out at Barnes & Noble last night and watched the awesome Hannah Miller perform. She is on a tour for her new CD, so you should check her out!

http://hannahmillermusic.com/

Oh, and checkout the video I shot of her!

Working on creating a weekly TV Show to highlight new music, live bands, unsigned artists and cool music videos. So far it looks good. I will also make it available online so you can see it if you aren't near this market. There's a few other TV shows I'm pitching. I think they are gonna be pretty good! We'll see.

 

Don't forget to checkout my other locations!

You must visit:

http://tinyurl.com/yb885xt
http://www.jerrylentz.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml

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I shot this video last night for the song, "Diana" by Hannah Miller and posted it on Facebook as they were still playing! They put on a great show! Checkout the tour and the music!

Everyone sees me differently, as though I were a different person to each one, even to myself.

Even though I'm on Facebook, Twitter, Myspace and just about every possible social network, I still get email from people who have found me on my website.

http://www.jerrylentz.com

I thought I'd try and make this post interesting by a picking a selection of quotes from some letters I've received these past few months. I have not responded to every letter, but I wanted to, so maybe this will inspire me to comment and reply.

Maybe this will give you an idea of the kind of folks that seem to be regular readers. I hate saying, "Fan" even though many have called themselves that in these messages, I actually prefer "Readers" when it's in response to my written work and when it involves the radio show it should be, "Listeners" and when it's my film or video work, "Viewers" or if they are paying customers of my other talents, "Johns."

I will arrange each of these quotes to try and make it flow as if from a conversation. Each quote is from a separate person. Let's see if it works.

"Hello Jerry, I want you to understand I feel I know you better than my boyfriend of 4 years because when I wake up I have to hear your thoughts. I don't shower until I read what is going on with you. Then in the shower I'm thinking of you."

"Sometimes it's sad. You make me want to cry sometimes. I have cried from your writing. I know if I could be with you I would make you feel better."

"One time at work I was telling my coworkers a funny story and I said it happened to my best friend, but it was about you and on the train home I realized even though I've never met you physically I know you really are my best friend."

"I hate you! I told you something painful and private and you wrote about it. You took the most personal crime that could be committed and asked your friends what you should do about it? Your friends are assholes! They don't know me! But I know you and I hope you die alone for what you've done!"

"You fucking kike!"

"Nazi bastard!"

"Fuck you, nigger!"

"Everything that comes out of your mouth is crap."

"You really turn me on! I have printed out everything you've ever wrote and keep it all organized in a folder that I keep in a box under my bed in case you take your site down. I know you are famous already, but I believe you will be very very famous soon and I know I will be a big part of it."

"You've changed these last few months. You used to really expose your most intimate thoughts, but lately it appears to be fluff and surface. Where is the Jerry I've come to love?"

"So much of my waking life has been devoted to thinking about you and finding a way to get you to love me."

"I can tell you are in love now. I can tell just by the way you are now writing and what you are posting on Facebook. I'm happy for you that your life has turned around for the better, but I don't understand why it can't be me that you love?"

"I dreamed you came over to hunt the ghost I have in the basement and you and I were down there and we saw it floating around and you were holding the camera and I got so scared I wrapped your big arms around me and I slowly began to undress you and rubbing and kissing your fine white skin. I know you're not gay, and I've never had a white boy, but you are the one white boy I do dream about."

"When I was dancing I used to pray that you'd come into the club and sit up front so I could see your face. That night you came home with me was one of my greatest regrets. I have never had a conversation since that was anywhere close to the intense talk I had with you. I could listen to you talk forever. I tried so hard to get you to stay that night. I was such a stupid silly girl. I know I scared you off by trying to get you to make love to me."

I dunno. Maybe this didn't work. This experiment bummed me out! See, know one really knows me. Everyone has a completely different image of me. Am I so complex that I can't be pegged? No one knows how to take me.

I really do get happy letters, but reading some of these to find good quotes has completely depressed me. Please write me something good to make me feel better!

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In my dream I was standing on the entrance to a great bridge. I had just been told to get out of the back of the black car and walk across. There seemed to be another man walking across the bridge in my direction who I was being traded for by some government. It was dark and the wet night was shrouded in fog. Below the bridge was a river and there was a large boat moving under hidden completely in the mist, but I could sense it's massive size and hear it cutting through the murky water.

Something told me you were waiting on the other side. You were wearing a red dress and leaning nervously against a car given to you by a man who had helped in my exchange and planned our escape by forging documents and passports.

I walked slowly and at one point the fog was so thick I was unable to see my hand in front of my face. I stopped as I was afraid to move. I could hear the other man walking toward me. The soles of his shoes were smacking the puddles on the wet pavement.

I thought about you kissing me after all this time apart, about us getting in the car, about us driving across the countryside and along the mountains, about the breakfast we'd eat at the inn, the babies we'd conceive in the bed that night, the farm house we'd hide, the barn where you'd give birth, the stream where I'd fish, the stove where you made bread, the flowers in the forest I picked for you, the cabin where we raised the girls, the big tree on the hill where I made love to you before when we were young, the shovel you used to dig my grave and bury me under that tree…

The man stopped in front of me as the fog parted in a breeze as the barge below blasted its horn and he quickly drew his pistol and fired into my chest. I fell to my knees. I could hear you running toward me. We had been set up. I fell onto my side when he fired again and your body landed across mine.

Above us was the steel structure of the bridge. The beams illuminated by the reddish light of the morning sunrise. The maze of intricate metalwork reminded me of those branches and the canopy they made above us as we made love under that big tree on the hill.

Dang! I sure do love me some Tarts!

Just had a Kellogg's® Brown Sugar and Cinnamon Pop-Tarts... It may have been the best treat I've ever had! I guess I really needed it!

Last night I ate a slice of the moistest chocolate cake and then had a slice of Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake with cherries... I was so full, but hungry this morning!

Man, this weekend flew by so fast! I just don't understand it! How can I make work fly by and time off having fun with friends stand still? Why can't boredom speed up? What a great world it would be if that could happen!

Went shopping with a friend and she was kind enough to buy me some much needed new shoes, as the old ones had holes all over them due to my hobo lifestyle. I guess she was embarrassed to be around me, or maybe she's just the sweetest friend a boy could have! I wish I had someone to pick out my wardrobe! I wish I had someone to buy me cool clothes. I wish I had someone to dress me up. I wish I had someone to undress me, too!

The other day I got sad news one of my best friends, Brian Muir passed away on Sunday, Sept. 19th. Brian and I spent quite a bit of time together. If any of the gang we hung out with has any photos of us together, I sure would appreciate you sending me some. He was a great guy and I will miss him very much.

I think I've reached that age where I will hear about more and more of my friends and family passing away. I hope I can handle it! I think I'm just too sensitive for this world.

The other day I was at the store and I saw a mother, she may have been about 25, teaching her young kid how to steal. I walked around the corner and she was showing her how to hide stolen clothes. When she realized I was just a customer she continued her education. Anybody ever try and get you to steal for them? What do you think about a mother doing this to her baby? I hate to be a snitch, but when I was checking out I tried to mention it to the checkout girl, but she was having problems with the register and gave me the wrong change. I sure thought about calling the police! The checkout situation was a complete distraction. I'm not a resident and was concerned about calling the police after the fact.

If you search it, there are so many cases of mother and daughter crimes! Many shoplifting crimes are teams. Mom and daughter! So far none of the mothers look like Angie Dickinson, but most look like Shelley Winters.

http://www.trailersfromhell.com/trailers/521

I was wondering if anyone knew the movie references I was talking about with Shelley Winters and Angie Dickinson. Shoplifting is interesting to me, because there are so many people that do it and don't have to, ya know what I mean? Rich people do it. There must be a medical term for that psychological condition for those that have that compulsion. Maybe it's Kleptomania, but I thought there might be another one.

Hey, have you ever been involved with a woman, girlfriend or spouse, and another woman came and hit on you, but when you told her you were spoken for, she said something like, "What she doesn't know won't hurt her?" How did you deal with it? Some women are not nice to other women. Gosh, that sounds so silly and I wish I hadn't typed it. I seem to run into women that would rather mess around with men who are attached. Isn't that weird? Or is it just the way it is?

Saw a headline that ran for over an hour as "Best Cities in the U.S. to get Head" before angry readers notified the editor. It was suppose to be, "...get Ahead!" I love goofs in print! I know I make them!

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Sure, I could get crazy this weekend, but...

...due to mandatory drug testing at work I decided to partake in a little bit of Pot! 

Well, Pot-ter that is, as in Harry Potter. Silly, I know. I watched, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" with 3 girls who know by heart and made a live commentary throughout. It was funny. I have only seen the first one and they seem to be having fun watching me watch it. Tomorrow we will watch the third. I'm trying to catch up before the new one comes out so we all can go together.

Earlier in the day we had sushi, then a few minutes later we had roast beef sandwiches and man, they were good! I am gonna get fat hanging around these girls cause they eat a small amount and go, "I'm full can you eat mine?" I would write more, but I'm so full. I can barely see the keyboard over my belly.

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I am craving an orange so badly!

Don't know why? I want to pick a fresh round orange, peel it and have that sweet and tangy juice squirt in my mouth. I used to live in an orchard when I was a kid in Florida and in California there was a tree outside my window. I wonder why I'm craving one so bad? I take plenty of vitamins! At last count, my daily intake is about 22 pills. I get plenty of Vitamin C. I have to be careful because if I drink more than a glass of OJ, or each more than two oranges I will breakout. So I must have a slight allergic reaction to citrus, right?

One of my favorite dreams recently involves a redheaded girl peeling an orange and dropping the wedges into my mouth. I seem to be on my back with my head in her lap. She takes a bite and then kisses me letting some of the juice squirt into my mouth as her tongue spreads my lips apart. 

She sits on her bed in her mod bedroom wearing a black bowler hat like Alex does in "A Clockwork Orange," but that's all she's wearing. Nude but for that hat!

I believe this dream is a recurring one. Not sure what it means, but I do feel good after having it. I wish you could have it with me!

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I think I would've done well in the 1920s!

Ever get in one of those conversations with someone that goes, "What time period would you liked to have lived?" I do. People seem to be fascinated about living in other times. Maybe we think we'd be the smartest kids in the class if we could go back in time knowing what we know now.

Things would probably be the same somehow. I believe if I could go back in time and invent Facebook, no matter how persuasive I could be about it, I don't think I could make it happen. I don't think if I had a copy of historic sport scores and went back in time to make bets, it would work. Somehow it would be self adjusting, this time thing. Maybe things are meant to be the way things are meant to be and the way they just are.

At one time I used to answer the question of when I would like to have lived by saying, "Not before air-conditioning and penicillin were invented, but before AIDS," however, I really think I would have done well in the 1920s because I dig the clothes, the books of the time, the art, the movies, the music and the way women were coming along and becoming independent, making changes and taking charge of their lives.

Used to love reading stories about that time period. I know things were rough on some, but there were pockets of great success and happiness. Both of my parents were born in 1927 and that year always seemed kinda magical to me, but I'd wanna go back to 1920 and ride it out for a while.

This is my friend Marilyn with me in the photo. I think she'd be perfect in the 1960s dating Jim Morrison, or maybe she'd be hanging out with James Dean a few years further back. She watched Brando with me in "Last Tango in Paris" and she saw him in "A Streetcar Named Desire" and I could tell she really dug him. She's super-smart, funny, beautiful, artistic, has a great voice, she writes, she acts, she sings and has an awesomely amazing relationship with her mom, sister and grandma…

Now thinking about it, I don't believe I'd want to live in a time before she existed. I wouldn't want to miss out on all her epicness.

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I still have my grandpa's brass knuckles!

Chicks dig it when I pull it out and show them!

They must be over a 100 years old. Girls get things from grandma and mommy, but they are never as tough as that. Guys get guns... Well, actually, I know some ladies that had small pistols handed down to them from mommy. I even know a gal who has a collection of sex toys that was once owned and I presume used by her grandmother. Yikes! I did have the pleasure of seeing them. They were very ornate and seemed to be handcrafted by artisans of the ancient world.

Dang. This post kinda sucks. Sorry. It was hard to come up with one.

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I've been doing a lot of reading.

I was just reading, "The Best Places in the World to Retire" and I was surprised to find that #1 was, "Jerry's Bedroom!" 

I was just reading about things lottery winners purchased after their big money came in. What's one sensible purchase and one crazy purchase that you'd make after winning a super-lotto?

I want a house that kinda looks like a putt-putt golf course, with windmills and stuff, but I'd like to travel. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert plan to hold political rallies on the National Mall just before the midterm elections. Stewart's "Rally to Restore Sanity" and Colbert's "March to Keep Fear Alive!" I should rent a bus and travel to this party!

Last Friday the second hand on my watch came loose and got pinned between the other hands and killed it. I thought Time would stand still, but the weekend flew by faster than ever before. Had to get a new watch. I got digital one this time.

17 members of a Christian group went missing and left behind evidence that they were awaiting the rapture out in a California desert. There was also children in the group! Have you or anyone you know been involved with a cult? What happened? What was it like?

It would be awful to be married to someone that got sucked into a cult and couldn't help them. I've read stories about that with the Jim Jones and various other churches.

I was reading to the news about a man in his 90s killed his wife in her 80s after he saw her chatting with another old dude on Facebook!

Met a guy who is dying and he told me, "Cancer was the best way for me to get out of my marriage and I'm not leaving the bitch a thing!" Have you ever known anyone so unhappy in their relationship they brought on an illness? I first thought about the Law of Attraction when he told me about it. He said she was a bitter and mean woman and he couldn't figure another way out. So sad.

Just watched, "500 Days of Summer" and I really dug it! Maybe it was the company with which my viewing took place, but I still enjoyed it very much! I'd like to see it again! I kept thinking about different scenes all day today.

My chrome-like "Civic" fell off the back of my Honda just as I'm a mile away from hitting 130,000 miles. Maybe I can put the "Civic" on a chain and become DJ Civic.

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I really don't want this weekend to end!

I was trying to be conscious of the present, being in the moment, starting thursday night, but friday and saturday both just poured by like quicksilver. I had a great time! Maybe too great a time. I wish I could stop time and enjoy those small precious frames of it. I had great food. I had great movies to watch. I had the best possible company to enjoy it all with. I had great conversations with people that I never wanted to end. I got to ask questions, even very personal questions of people I've wanted to investigate for years and years. 

If there was a negative to all this positive, it was still my allergies. I am suffering. Something must be done about this. I feel I'm losing my mind, it's just so annoying! Breathing is an important part of my life and I need to continue doing it.

Also, I am becoming much more aware of my age. I've been hanging around younger people and when I am with them, I feel like I'm 18, but when I see the photos of us together, I am suddenly shaken to see just how old I look. I feel energized and seem to be full of stamina, but when I catch an imagine of myself in a reflection, it's like Kryptonite and my energy is drained. Maybe I should remove all mirrors from my life and all will be well... or will it?

Maybe that's where that whole vampire thing about being invisible in a reflection came from? I wish I was a vampire, but it's too late now, I'd rather have been bit when I was much much younger. Being an old vampire must suck!

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What are you dressing up like for Halloween?

I've been thinking. Still not sure. It is my favorite holiday, but it's just not as fun for me as it used to be. I'd like to dress up and go to a costume party. I'd love to actually go trick or treating. I'd love to get with people and guess who is who, but I don't know enough cool people to do such things with. I'd love to go to a fun haunted house with a group of friends, bob for apples, scare kids, make out with a cute gal in a car at an marathon of horror films at a drive-in theatre and eat candy corn. Okay, maybe not candy corn.

Maybe I'm too old for it all.

Maybe I should start thinking about growing up, saving money, getting a house, settling down, getting a soft recliner, getting a floor lamp, getting an end table, getting a nice big flat screen tv and sitting in front of it and watching all the old classic horror films I loved as a youth. I could pop some popcorn. I could sit in the dark haloed by the glow of my floor lamp and read H.P. Lovecraft. When my eyes grew tired I could listen to old radio dramas like "X-Minus-One" and "Lights Out" and draw the Snuggie around me tighter while fingering the trigger on the pistol on my lap.

The real horror is growing old alone.

I wouldn't want to trouble anyone. I wouldn't want to be a burden. I wouldn't want to leave a mess behind when someone found my decomposing body. I would rather reanimate as a zombie and keep my corpse moving.

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My day was awesome!

Lemme see...

Here's some highlights; I woke up after having an awesome slumber party with some friends to having scrambled eggs with cheese, then goofed around on the bed. We each told stories about growing up, such as watching movies at a drive-in theatre from across a fence with no sound, living on an Army base in Germany, and scary things some little kids have to experience that leave them scarred for life.

After that fun, we had homemade naan (Indian bread), some delicious chicken, broccoli with cheese sauce, made chocolate chip cookies, and strawberries covered in Ghirardelli Chocolate. We watched numerous videos of various clips that were made hilarious by having been edited to the Benny Hill theme song. I sang karaoke with two beautiful girls, both with amazing voices. I sang Blink 182's "I Miss You" and Iggy Pop's "Real Wild Child" and then stripped down and watched "Last Tango in Paris" in bed with a stick of real unsalted butter!

There were a thousand other things that happened and a thousand things I was thankful for seeing, hearing and feeling and a thousand things that made me feel alive. Today I spent quality time with people who seem to enjoy being with me, whom I love being around and with whom I hope to always share my life.

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My baby is getting ready for me!

This is how I imagine her. She knows I'm coming. Maybe it'll be another great date. Maybe I'll get to spend the night. Maybe there will be another breakthrough where we'll find another chamber in our hearts for more love to flood into and fill that emptiness we never knew was there.

I'm so ready for this coming weekend. I've learned so many things. I've already forgotten everything I was supposed to have learned. But I have never forgotten how much I love her.

Can't wait to get my baby in my arms and squeeze her small frame and lift her off her feet. Taste her lips when she kisses me. Smell her when I kiss the side of her neck. Look into her big bright eyes when she tells me about the dreams and hopes she has stored inside.

I want her voice to be the last voice I hear and her face to be the last face I see when I drift off to sleep. 

If she is a dream, please don't wake me up. I want her so badly.

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I always knew I'd be directing live television!

The guys I wanted to be like when I grew up were television directors from the golden age. John Frankenheimer, Sidney Lumet, George Roy Hill, Delbert Mann... all started in live television. 

Directing the News is very intense. Directing anything live is like walking a tightrope. However, it's exhilarating!

Hopefully, my new career will allow me to create some projects that might involve live theatre. I would love to make some shows based on plays, either classic or even something I've written. I have a nice fat notebook filled with show ideas I hope to bring to fruition on the small screen.

Still, radio seems to call on me. I can't keep it out of my blood no matter how the industry bleeds. Tonight had a couple of very interesting discussions about working on the air in mornings again. I believe I can do both, tv and radio. I have done it before.

I know those of you that have followed my daily adventures have seen me down and sad these past 20 something years, but I have to say, these last weeks have been some of my happiest times. My future looks great, too! I just hope you will always be part of it!

Now back to you.

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How has your life changed lately?

Recently, I started a new career. I'm learning new things. Meeting new people. Traveling to new places. We'll see where it takes me. The world is changing, but in many ways it's all the same. People have all these skills that the world seems to not need anymore. It's like in a some long term relationships where one partner no longer wants what the other can provide. It's a horrible feeling to find yourself not being wanted by anyone. You might have wonderful talents and have so much to give the world, but people never get to see them because there's no way to show them what you can do. I hope we all can shine and turn things around and make the world a better place soon!

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Naughty!

My Facebook status exploded and exposed a hidden desire!

Ladies, what if you went to a bachelorette party and the girls hired a male stripper and it turned out to be your boyfriend? What would you do? What if you were wearing a mask and he didn't know it was you? Would you test him to see what he would do with another girl? Tell me!

Okay, now what if he was the one wearing a mask and you didn't know it was him, could he get you to kiss him? Would you allow him to touch your breasts? Could he have sex with you? You must tell me!

How would you feel seeing all your girlfriends getting aroused by him, not know it was your man? What if they were rubbing themselves all over your boy? Would it be okay, knowing you'd have him later at home? Would you make him your private dancer at home? Tell me Now!

Well... Let's say he heard there was gonna be a crazy girl party with male strippers and he wanted to see what you would do? Maybe he just wanted to see the look on your face? What if the song he was stripping down to, was Your Song? The one you two love so much! What song would it be? How would you feel about that?

I'm gonna have to turn this post into a book!

Add me as a friend to read more!

http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz

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I fell asleep during the VMAs and dreamed of Lady Gaga!

This is a drawing of Scarlet Witch from X-Men by my friend, Erin. She's 12 years old and so ready to join the ranks of my other more successful artist friends in the animation field. I hope you guys can see her talent and offer support and work, because she has an amazing future ahead of her! I've become quite the PR Agent for several artists as of late. I hope I start making money at it.

In my dream, the one about the VMAs, I was with some friends and met Lady Gaga who immediately fell for a friend's daughter and started dressing her up and took her on tour, ruining any hopes her mother had of her going to college. She went to eat with us at a Thai restaurant and presented us with a Lady Gaga action figure that was also a small cold fusion energy generator that she hoped would power enough energy for homes throughout the world, so children in 3rd world countries could have lights and heat. The doll was dressed up in changeable fashions, but if you undressed her and inserted a plug between her legs, energy would be released.

Later, she took me aside and tried to convince me spread the dolls legs to lick it like a 9 volt battery, to feel the sensation on my tongue. I did it and was embarrassed when people saw me doing it. Almost everyone laughed.

On Facebook I asked my friends, "Is the there an action figure or doll you had as a kid, that if you found one now in a drawer after all these years it would still give you a thrill?" Maybe that's where my dreams come from? My Facebook page. Please add me NOW!

Speaking of fashion, my Southern friends took me to a country store that's going out of business. I tried on a pair of cowboy boots that looked awesome on me! They made me about 3 inches taller, too! So I could be 6'5" wearing these! I even tried on a Black cowboy hat and I have to tell you, I looked great! As soon as I get some money to buy these, there'll be a new sheriff in this here town!
 

I woke up this morning to the realization that, even tho' it's Sunday, today was an opportunity for large denominations of money to easily flow to me and help make all my dreams come true! I bet I could make your dreams come true too! Maybe our dreams come true when we help others dreams come true!

My friend, Carrie said, "You've gotta stop watching "Aladdin" on your own. It's scaring me!"

But there are other dreams I have, too! I dreamed I was shirtless and Blue and I was above my love, below me she said, "Give me what I want!" And I looked into her big bright eyes and told her in my deep breathy voice, "Your wish is my command!"

Maybe that could be my superpower! If I was an action hero, or in a comic book, maybe I could be a djinni like in "Aladdin." The word "Genie" is close to "Jerry" and I am a "DJ," the first two words in "Djinni" so maybe I could make your wishes come true? Maybe that's my wish, as well?

After all, Lady Gaga once had a dream, too! See where it got her?

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It was on this date 9 years ago...

...a woman from American Airlines called me and told me to keep my phone lines clear, she told me they had lost contact with several planes and did not know the condition or whereabouts of my wife, a flight attendant for the airline. After a total, constant and sickening panic for 7 hours, a strange calmness fell over me and I realized life is too short and I should try harder to be happy, so I set in motion plans for my divorce.

Some will tell you they can't believe it was only nine years ago, but to me, it seems a lifetime away.

I was a different person then. In many ways I've evolved, but in most ways I've become more primal. I know what I want, I'm angry when I don't get it and I know it's beauty that will kill this beast within me.

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Hey everyone, come and see how good I look!

This is a discussion of my documentary, "Travel with Spirits: Ghosts of the South" on The CW with Gina Pitisci, who is the weekday morning anchor and Live@Lunch host for WTVY News 4.

Hope you enjoy!

The photo is me getting ready for a date in my hotel room! A DATE!!! Tonight! A real Friday Night Date! I think she may be the most beautiful girl in the world! I did my research by reading Neil Strauss's book, "The Game" again. It was a fun date! I was appropriately late by almost an hour, so she knows who's in charge.

 Just got back! Let's see; I was myself, I was a bit nervous because she is amazingly beautiful, so I immediately had to spill sticky raspberry vinaigrette dressing on my skinny jeans, she finished her meal way before me and was ready to go while I was still eating, then when I kissed her my glasses (that I don't even need to wear, but think makes me look smarter) fogged up and made driving difficult (I was trying to be cool and not clean them off and draw attention to it) I hope to see her again. 

However, I think I'll wait for her to contact me, I don't want to seem so desperate.

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I'm about to start bringing home the Bacon!

As you can see, I'm 2 Degrees away from Kevin Bacon. That's rare, I know. I'd be 1 Degree if I had received credit for my work in "JFK" but I'm fine with it.

Today I started the paperwork for my new job in TELEVISION! No, not TV repair, as some may have told you. They were kidding you! I'm getting back into television broadcasting and the people I'm working with are pretty cool. So far. Soon I'll be getting my own show and making some good money. I hope. I need a place to live. I need a new car. I need to pay some people back for the help they've given me. I need some food! I have to do some driving this weekend and my tank is empty!

Tomorrow morning I'm meeting with some Radio people about getting a new morning show. I'm not as hopeful on this meeting, but you just never know how these things go. The Radio Industry is in the toilet and these giant broadcasting groups like Clear Channel put themselves and the rest of us there. I hope they are ready for me. I love it when people in powerful positions go, "Jerry Lentz, you are exactly what we were looking for and you are just what we need!"

Hope I can get my own morning show again! I used to be on the radio doing mornings here over 20 years ago, so to do it again would be cool. I met the love of my life doing mornings at that radio station and it would be so awesome to have her hear me on the air after all these years.

Today I finally received a DVD copy of my TV appearance on the CW talking about my documentary on Ghosts and my friend, Jerome and I watched it at his radio station after I wrote and voiced a car commercial for him. I think it came out good. I looked pretty good if I do say so myself. I used to think I had a face for radio, but not anymore. I'm starting to love myself. Now if only everyone else did, too. 

Why are there so many angry and hateful people in the world? All I want to do is tell jokes and make people laugh and have people love me, but there are way too many fussy people. Like what's with this Gay Mustached Rev. Terry Jones saying because of the building of the NYC mosque, he's gonna burn the Koreans? What have the Koreans done?

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Open wide and let the Dr. have a look inside!

I'm so tired today! I wish I could just put my big heavy head down for a bit in a nice soft warm lap. I wish you could sing to me and sooth me with you angel voice and gently stroke my cheek with you fingertips.

If you just let me nap for a few I promise I will rub your feet later.

Need to go shopping for shoes. I have holes in both shoes and was contemplating stuffing newspaper in them to add another element to my hobo lifestyle, but I was unable to find a good newspaper. Might have to wait for a Sunday edition or just get the duct tape out.

I wear size 13 and when your feet are that big your shoe choices are somewhat limited, because they all start looking like flippers if you're not careful. 

I suppose I should be happy about having large feet, because it truly seems to have some correlation to the size of my penis. When women see the size of my feet they can't wait to undress me and discover the truth, the magic and the shock of seeing my penis laced up in a size 13 steel toe Dr. Marten!

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Sometimes I wonder if I've done the right thing.

I wonder if I ever should have moved away from Dallas. Should I have moved away from Los Angeles? Should I have stayed in San Francisco? Should I have made it work in New York? Why did I give up on London? 

I think I'm remembering why I left the South in the first place.

It was too good to keep going. I knew the other shoe was gonna drop. I knew it wouldn't last. I knew people I left in the past would come back to bother me. Sure, I might seem too sensitive, but isn't it really them, those that can't deal with me in a polite way or are too sensitive? 

Doesn't it seem those that preach tolerance and forgiveness and love and understanding are the first to attack and hurt whoever and whatever they don't understand?

How hard am I to get along with? I'm just telling jokes.

Some of the best friends I've made in my life are ones I've met online and never meet in person. Maybe I should live in my small house far from humans and just talk with my online friends?

I'd be the best person for NASA to send to Mars. 

Maybe I could finally figure out how to make money from something I create, like maybe a book or film and then just travel the world. I feel so much better when I'm in motion. 

I could just Skype with those I love. Don't need physical contact, really. I know what you're thinking. What about sex? Well, really. Have you ever had an orgasm with someone that was better than what you could give yourself? Really? I guess I'm just that good, then.

Guess maybe I'm in a bad mood. Feeling kinda down today. If it weren't for all the drug testing I'm having to go through during job interviews, I'd be self medicating myself right now!

Seems like a Monday today. I might need a good strong drink, or maybe some drugs to see my way through it.

I'm so ready to pack up again and run away again! I'd like to run away with another person, but they are so tied up, have a full life of their own, a ton of responsibilities, family, houses, cats, children, shoes… I'm as loose as ash on the wind. Ash or pollen.

Why do I have to suffer from allergies? Seems no matter where I travel to, I am under attack!

I want to be free to do what I want and to go where I want. I'm free. Poor, but free. I gotta get it together! I want to have money and be free. 

I guess I'm one of those people I kinda hate. You know the type, those that need a lot of attention. If I'm left alone for a second without any stimulation my mind starts wandering. Sometimes I completely shut down. At least when I'm alone, I'm with myself and can keep myself focused on me. 

Sometimes I think I focus on others too much and ignore myself and my needs. I don't do well with people who decide when and where to fit me in on their schedule. Have you ever had friends that call you up and tell you all about what's going on with them and just as begin with how your day is going they say, "Look, I need to gotta run. Maybe I'll call you back if I get a break." CLICK. One or two times, I understand, but…

Gosh, I'm sick of myself. I need a break from myself. Where is the self in me? Is it in my brain or is it in my heart? Is my self in an appendage I could amputate? If I could just be free of my self, maybe my life would be better? 

I was driving earlier and thinking how a long term coma might just be the thing I'm looking for! People in comas for a long time seem to have better skin, less wrinkles and they get thinner, too! Plus, you don't have to deal with people!

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Had such an awesome weekend, I hate that it's ending!

There were so many wonderful moments, I couldn't begin to catalog them all. I just hope they don't slip from my mind. How could they? Aren't these moments stored safely in our brains like pictures in a photo album? How could I ever forget these emotions, these moments of time?

I smile when I think about the way her hand fits into mine. The way when our fingers mesh it's as though we've held hands for a 1000 years. So perfect. So right.

The way the palm of my hand fits perfectly against the small of her back. 

How I can get her to laugh and when I keep going, her laugh becomes maniacal and slightly scary.

The way she smiles when she's caught me staring at her.

How she can pick up DVDs or books with her feet, just like a monkey, but in a silly yet sexy way.

The way the corner cut of her brownies are crunchy on the edges and so soft inside.

The cute look of confusion on her face when we were watching, "Valkyrie" and she left to go to the bathroom and I flipped it over to, "Inglourious Basterds" before she came back thinking it was the same film, but with something slightly wrong.

The way when I look into her eyes I want to be a better man just for her. 

The way I feel when she takes my picture.

The way I feel about myself when she paints a picture of me.

The way I want to please her whenever I think of her.

The way I miss her as soon as she steps of the room.

The way she moves when she walks toward me.

The way I feel when I see her walking toward me.

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Had the most horrifying nightmare!

I'm staying at a friends house and was startled awake from a horrible dream that I was being haunted by my father! It was so awful! I was living in a small cabin in the woods and building additional rooms. I noticed the apparition of my dad standing out near some trees. It was terrifying as he just stood there quietly judging me from a distance. I rant into one of the buildings that I'd been working on, yet had not cut out windows, so it was pitch black inside. There in the darkness I could sense my father had arrived to get me. In my hand was a ball-peen hammer and I knew it wouldn't protect me.

I woke up so fast and my chest was pounding so hard, that I thought I might die from a heart attack.

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She smells really good when you squeeze her!

My friend was wearing Gwen Stefani G perfume but kept smelling an unpleasant aroma. She was asking me if I smelled dirt, or an open grave, but I love the perfume. Turned out she was smelling Bobbi Brown tinted moisturizer on her upper lip. Mystery solved! Ever have a favorite perfume or cologne you suddenly dislike?

Jay Leno's ratings dip below Conan O'Brien's... Why does he still have a show? I want a TV show and may be getting closer to having one!

Was watching, "Firefly" again. Damn, that was a great show!

http://www.hulu.com/firefly

I admit it, I love Martha Stewart! She rocks! This is from her Halloween issue where she shows just how cool she is by honoring one of my favorite films, "Queen of Blood" by dressing up as Florence Marley who played Velena.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=31611204&l=5c69c2e800&id=1114471915 

"Face to face and back to back. You see and feel my sex attack!" We had such great lyrics in the 80s!

http://www.wat.tv/video/billy-idol-flesh-for-fantasy-2uec7_2hs2h_.html

They sure knew how to make great movies back in the day and dig that voice over!

‎"...in addition to the film, there will be a brief lecture on how to use our bodies."

I'm hot! What can I do about it? I don't have swim trunks, because I can't swim, but I'm thinking of going skinny dipping to cool down. I don't want too many people around to see me and I think I found a spot perfect for getting wet. What are the laws regarding this?

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Life and work and hope and love hang in the balance!

Several friends of mine have recently been laid off from the same field as I had been, the dying career of radio broadcasting. We love doing radio, but do to corrupt mismanagement our opportunities have become few. Things are changing.

Just when I made peace with myself about being homeless and unemployed, I received two messages at the very same moment. One was that a very sweet friend and onetime co-worker was just let go even after being a top rated personality much loved by the community, and the other message was I was just hired by a Southern television station.

So odd.

After trying desperately to find work in the town I was living, I give up and go traveling across the country in my car and chance upon meeting a few people that love and respect my work. What I couldn't do in two years in the city I was living falls into place for me in less that two weeks on the road.

Sometimes you have to leave home to prosper. You might have to run away and join the circus. Life is a circus. Tickets are being sold. Are buying or selling those tickets?

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I'm ready to have a home of my own!

I know I haven't given this "Homelessness" a chance, but I'm really wanting a place of my own. People will say I'm a quitter, that I really didn't try, but I don't care, I want my own place to call home!

It'd be so cool to have a small home already paid off to have a girl over for dinner, some wine, talking, stuff... I think if a guy owns his own home, that really impresses the chicks!

How do I make this possible?

The Tiny House Movement

http://video.pbs.org/video/1553961054

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One of my very sweet friends gave me a GPS, so I...

...could find my way around on my travels!

I couldn't believe it! What a great things to do! I wish I knew what my destination was so I could put the address into it. Seems there's only one place I want to go.

This weekend I have to move to a new location. Then after a few nights with one friend, I will have to find another place to crash. My days are spent worrying about lining up couches. I wish I had 365 friends that would let me spend one night each and they stretched around the world so I could travel for free for a year.

Tonight I was telling a friend about how I was thinking of sleeping on a train and he said, "Oh, I hear you get the best sleep on a train!"

But I had to tell him the train is in a park in Georgia, it doesn't work, it's abandoned and is used as a display.

"Well, the train should be in motion for the best sleep to happen."

I'm thinking I might sleep on this train! Not in a train car, but actually on top of it Woody Guthry "Bound for Glory" style, in the open air. I could sleep in a soft chair I found by the tracks and drag it up on top.

I'm becoming a hobo!

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