Not feeling well, so I think I need to see the Doctor!

My stomach has been all queasy. My appetite has dropped to zero. I'm on my last few antibiotic pills and no matter how fast I take these pills, they leave a horrible taste on my tongue and even ruin the flavor of the food I try to eat along with it. Maybe it's my nerves, too. I got so much going on with me. I'm so stressed. I'm so tense I could shove a charcoal briquette up my ass and squeeze out a Princess cut diamond perfect for mounting as a possible wedding ring.

I have found my ideal wedding dance for when I have a wedding by the pool!

Well... I think she's awesome! I love the spastic! I really love people that just don't care how they come off. I wish I was more like that, you know, not caring. I'm about to appear in a play where the rest of the cast has had about 3 months to learn their stuff and I've had about a week and I'm freaking out because my role has a lot of dialog and there's a huge amount of text to memorize and I'm nowhere near learning it and the show opens Friday, but there's a preview tomorrow night!

Do you know any good tricks to memorizing your lines in a play? I'm having some kinda block! I'm using all my tricks, too! Maybe it's the drugs I've been taking... I can't remember a single line! Help! I'll be honest, I'm scared shitless!

I don't know what I'm gonna do!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

He made me so happy!

This may have been the first time I remember seeing him. Look how handsome and serious he is here in, "Forbidden Planet" with the beautiful Anne Francis. He was the Captain in, "The Poseidon Adventure." He was the Doctor in, "Airplane." But I suppose I will always remember him as Detective Frank Drebin in, "Police Squad."

That TV series came along at a very needed time in my life and I believe affected the way I am today. I think about that show a lot, as well as the "Naked Gun" films. I will miss seeing Leslie Nielsen in any new stuff or appearances on TV, but so happy to know he will always be there for me to go back to when I need him.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leslie_Nielsen

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Today was a very rough one. One of those days I hate. One of those days that seemed to be like a long bridge I had to cross. One of those days where I had to fight the thought of jumping from it.

I had opinions that didn't matter. I had a brain that felt like pancake batter.

That line from The White Stripes, "The Hardest Button to Button" always amused me, but that is exactly how I feel right now! My brain hurts! My mind hurts! It's swollen with thoughts and ideas and it's pressing against the inside of my skull like my belly was when it was testing the tension of my button flies jeans after Thanksgiving dinner.

I have things to learn. I'm trying. Oh Lord, I'm trying to learn. Trying to memorize. Think. Get it down. Lock these words in place, in order, with meaning, with feeling, but it's so hard. The words, I see them, I say them, but instead another word comes out, another meaning. Some kinda word blindness. Something viral removes the words, erases the words written on the blackboard of my mind. Some evil rogue sub-mind jokingly pulls the seat out as the word is learned and attempting to sit in it's correctly placed chair, but it falls away forgotten.

I wish you could gently rub my temples. I wish you could press your wet lips to my fever heated forehead and cool my worries. I wish you could massage my brain.

But more than anything, I wish you could stand invisible with me onstage and in your soft quiet voice whisper to me, in my ear through your warm honey breath, the lines I must say in the play.

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

I wish...

...good things to come to me!

Jessica's mother asked, "Jerry, what are you thankful for this year?"

The only thing that popped into my head was that I was thankful for her daughter having found me again after all these years. She's really taken care of me, being sick and all and just about everything she does really brightens any dim to dark day for me.

Being thankful got me thinking about wishes and maybe I need to make more wishes. I saw some shooting stars the other night and made some wishes that already came true. So I know wishes work.

Maybe wishes are prayers?

I used to be embarrassed to pray. Because... Well, for one, I'm an atheist, but because sometimes my prayers were answered and two, who was doing the answering?

Maybe wishes are dreams and dreams are wishes your heart makes?

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Happy Spanksgiving!

Thanks for everything you do,

Jerry

You must visit:
http://www.jerrylentz.com/
http://tinyurl.com/yb885xt
http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz
http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

There was something dark ahead of me, I could feel it!

It wasn't quite like any dream I've ever had.

The tracks fell off into the distance. It was a thick gloom, a heavy dark, some impenetrable doom that lay before me. I shouldn't keep moving forward, but yet, I had too.

In the dream, I actually remembered a dream from the previous day where I was attending the funeral of a man I never met, but people I worked with knew well and loved. He had worked at the same place all his life, but cancer slower ate away at him. I was moving down the line to the casket at the viewing. I'd never met the man before, but I was there to pay my respects. Slowly I'm getting closer. I can hear the sobs and sniffles. I finally reach the end of the coffin and look down over the edge of the lid into it and see that the dead man is in fact me. A woman screams and the dead man's eyes open and look right into my soul.

I shake my head a bit and find that I am still walking down the tracks into the forest. I feel the shifting of the cinders and gravel under my feet. I look down and see I'm wearing nice cowboy boots and I think to myself, "I'm so glad I'm wearing these boots." I look ahead and it feels like I'm walking on hot coals and when I look back down my feet are bare and they are burning on the rocks. I am hopping because of the burning and I step on two railroad spikes that stick up through the bottom of both feet and puncture open the top.

I fall across the tracks and hear a deep laughter echoing up to me from the dark trees. I grab my feet and they are ice cold and there are no wounds. A kind male voice inside my head, but sounding like it's from a walkie-talkie tells me, "Get off this track now! It's not safe at all for you!"

I think maybe a train is coming so I roll off and down the embankment to a stream running under the trestle and I see an old woman sitting by a campfire. She's motioning for me to come over and have some chicken soup. 

"I'm trying to put you on the right track, sweetie. Don't think I'm not. It's all trial and error around here!"

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Girls love taking their clothes off in front of me!

They do! I'm not lying! 

It's like I'm Tomas, the Prague surgeon in, "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" I swear!

At the hospital today I had to bend over for that shot in the ass. It was more antibiotics, by the way, but this time in a needle and for UTI (urinary tract infection). The nurse of course was young, thin, beautiful and had amazing cheekbones, but sometimes that doesn't impress me. You know me. I need something more.

Anyway, as I wasn't born yesterday and I've had numerous shots in the ass, I know I don't need to completely remove my pants. However, that's what she asked for! 

I only realize now this was one of the nurses in a previous visit and posting that had to examine my penis during the rash. You may remember her comment after I wondered if the steroids they were giving me would make my "boy business" unbearably larger, to which she said in her deep husky voice, "Jerry, you don't want it any bigger! It's perfect they way it is." 

Or something to that affect. I could go back and look it up, but I was there I know what she said, a guy remembers shit about what was said about his member. 

Okay, so today I know she wanted to see the "man machine" again. She may have been aching to see it and hold it and feel it's girth and weight again. For medical purposes I'm sure.

"Jerry, can you please remove your pants and underwear for me?"

"It's just a shot right?"

"You aren't scared are you?"

"No, but that's a lot of clothes coming off to stick me up high on my cheek!"

"I'll take mine off first if you want? I got something to show you anyway!"

I know what you're thinking… "How does Jerry do it?" "Why do women want Jerry Lentz so bad?" "What are Jerry's thoughts on the Federal Reserve?"

Listen, girls lie all the time around me, acting to their friends, "Oh, I'm not like that around Jerry! He's gross!" Then, they get me alone and they start playing their little evil games. They try and talk bad about me to their friends and family and to the Police, but when they are alone with me…

The Panties Come OFF!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

You will do what I say when I say it!

I can kill you with… MY MIND!

I was going for smoldering and intense sexuality in this photoshoot.

Been driving a lot yesterday and today! I love to go on trips, except trips to the hospital, but driving in the car would be so much better if the muffler wasn't dragging the ground and leaving a trail of sparks behind me! I thought it was a meteor shower in my rear view mirror!

I know "roid-rage" is from steroid overuse, but is there ever "roid-rage" from being a sufferer of chronic hemorrhoids?

I feel like shit! I wish I could exchange this body for another one. I'd even settle for a slightly less beautiful one if it was healthy and I could just feel better in it.

I got so sick I had to go to the emergency room again! I'm sick of even telling you that! I wish you had some magic cure for me!

Didn't see "Harry Potter" this weekend, but I did rematch "I Married a Witch" starring Veronica Lake! She was one cool lady!

It's been a while since I've done a podcast, so guest interviewer Jessica Sturdivant stops by the studio to turn the tables on me by asking very personal questions. If you scare easily of raw emotions, dirty talk, open sexuality and free thinking… You might like this as well.

http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/JerryLentzPodcast112110.mp3

I was talking to a friend about how depressed I've been when my brother called to tell me that my sister's son just killed himself. Life can be so tough sometimes. They say there's help out there, but not everyone is near it or strong enough to ask for it.

Everyone has someone in their life that needs to know you can be there for them. Make a call or write a sweet letter to that person. Remember the Holidays are coming and it's gonna be rough on a lot of folks. Let's be a lil' kinder to those you think might need it.

Sometimes those that act so strong really are just putting up front to protect themselves.

Someday, you will ache like I ache.

Doll Parts

I'm sick and tired of being sick!

For those still keeping track of my illnesses some new things have reared their ugly heads and they are cold sweats, chills, high fever and the winner is... pissing blood! Yay!

What man doesn't long to see bright red urine shooting out of their dick and splattering into the white porcelain bowl of the toilet? I know it'd look great in a horror film! Okay, I told you earlier I was having a burning sensation when I urinated, so I thought maybe it was the medication I was taking, so it was recommended to me to consider that it might be UTI (urinary tract infection) and to try these dark brown tablets made from cranberries that make you pee bright red. I did and they do! I know what I'm bring you for Thanksgiving! So the pain went away, but the pee is very much Hammer Horror Red. In fact when I first whizzed and saw the bright color I actually exclaimed that it looked like Dario Argento was pissing in the toilet!

My personal nurse just checked my temperature rectally and it was 103 Dees Degrees, but I noticed even though she had it shoved up in me it wasn't a rectal thermometer. 

"Oh! You so right Meester Lentz! Now open wide!"

I tried to fight her off from pushing it into my mouth without sterilizing it, but the straps that held me down to the bed were too tight and she climbed up on top of me with her skin tight latex Nazi nurse outfit that made her breasts sound like two balloons rubbing together and after punching me in the stomach she took her latex covered fingers and forced my mouth open.

I'm telling you these fever dreams have been something horrible!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

I'm acting strange!

During rehearsals yesterday I had the shakes, a fever and when I urinated, it burned! I didn't pee on stage, by the way. It's not called for in this play. I believe the pills I'm taking, the antibiotics or what ever, have done something to my bladder. Or is it kidneys? I'm not sure. It could be food poisoning, too! I had a room temperature cheeseburger two days ago that only after 10 minutes caused me to pull off the side of the road and remove it from my insides. Well, I didn't have to do anything, it came out all on it's own! Yuck!

Been working so much, I haven't been able to get into my part as much as I'd like, ya know, becoming the character, the whys and why nots of his behavior, learning the lines, motivations, sense memory, but being that my character is supposed to be 60 years old I'd say memory loss might work for me. I know playing a 60 year old is highly unbelievable being that I am so very young, but maybe I can change that. The actress that plays my 60 year old wife, is maybe 19 years old!

The rest of the cast know the play well as they've had a head start of possibly two months. I gotta use all my skill sets to get it down and own it in a week! Then I have to start work on "A Streetcar Named Desire" is a few weeks, too! It's funny, someone wrote me last night and pointed out that a few weeks ago on my facebook page I posted some Brando videos and asked if there was anyone out there today that had his magnetism and a very sweet person replied, "Besides you?"

So I can't help but think The Universe is reading my blog and aligning the planets and stars to make my dreams come true! I should really start writing about making big money! Maybe it will come to me!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

These last few days have been amazing!

Yes, I've been exhausted and worn out, barely able to keep my eyes open as I drive, but so many wonderful things have happened. I got to see about 5 shooting stars and I made wishes and I just know they are all gonna come true! The play I'm in is gonna be going to be great! I'm learning new things! I'm meeting new cool people and talking with young friends and old friends.

There is something strange happening inside me! I know it still may be the medication I'm on. I am feeling woozy and lightheaded most of the time. I'm having such cool and powerfully emotional dreams, so I'm processing some very profound things in my noggin'. 

It's kinda scary, too. I may be going insane. You may say, "Going?" It's like I'm on some sorta razor's edge. Yin and yang. Some kinda line between the devil's teeth. I wish you could feel it, even just for a minute so you could tell me what you think. If you could just hold my heart. Your warm palm, my heart like a robin's egg in your hand and you are so gentle with me. Careful. You kiss it. You see the beauty of it. The mystery. The potential. The possibilities. Even the danger. The unknown.

I'm here for you! I made a wish on those shooting stars and the wish was of you! Now let me hold your heart as you do mine.

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Make believe sometimes makes real life seem so much harder to do!

Hanging out with my new Southern Actor friends between rehearsals has sparked a lot of ideas about making more narrative films. There is so much talent down here! I can't help but think of all the possible scenes I could write and shoot with these guys and gals in strange and beautiful locations. My mind gets so stimulated it can't stop spinning out yarns. I now have access to bodies willing to perform, equipment to use, locations, stages, lighting… 

Now, if I wasn't so tired trying to make a living, so tired trying to survive, so tired trying to pay bills, so exhausted from not knowing where I'm sleeping next… 

What wonderful things I'd be able to do!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Here I am on the boards of The Haunted Stage!

While hanging out in Barnes and Noble using the free wifi and reading Deadpool comics for free, I was approached by a very popular local actor who inquired if I had had any acting experience.

I let him know of my many years of thesbianism!

Then he asked me to audition for a play he's starting at the beginning of December for a company that's been producing theatre works since the early 80s. I showed up for the audition and the artistic director loved me!

"Jerry, be careful of what you say next or I will put you onstage this very minute!"

He did. Then he told me he was going to be directing "A Streetcar Named Desire" soon and he grabbed his phone and called another actress and shouted, "Blanche? Get your ass down to the theatre right now! I'm sitting across from your Stanley Kowalski!"

Wow! I got cast in two shows in less than 5 minutes!

This might turn out to be a great thing for me to get back in theatre. Everyone I met was great and enthusiastic. I hope I don't let them down. I hope my dyslexia doesn't cause me too much trouble. I hope my inability to remember anything, like my lines doesn't cause me any trouble!

I'll keep you updated on my new theatre experience! Wish me luck!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

I'm not here and I'm not who you think I am.

If today is gonna be anything like yesterday, then I will be a very very happy man! I love this weather, too! I'm in my car as the rain pelts it and I can see a halo around the streetlamp above me.

Today and last night turned out amazing! Awesome days! I wish you had been with me to witness it!

I'm getting tired of being put down by people that have no business making fun of others, have they not looked in the mirror? I mean seriously! These angry, bitter, sad people need to focus their critical gaze at themselves before even thinking of commenting on someone else.

Gonna try something different today! Wish me luck!

If you could live your life over again, what great moment would you like to have on video this time around?

Off to bed to dream, to heal, to write a book, to make a film, to die in a little slice of death and if you see me in the ether out of our bodies, please come and say, "Hello!"

Even in the dim illumination of the screen from this laptop, in the utter darkness of this old motel room, I see the glowing face of the most beautiful girl in the world, who came to offer me her healing powers, now sleeping peacefully in the ambient light.

"I can't believe you're here."

"Maybe I'm not here."

"Where are you?"

"Somewhere else."

"Am I there with you?"

"Yes, you are."

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

I'm really getting fed up.

I hate waiting! Seems my lot in life is to always be waiting on something! Waiting for a girl, waiting in line, waiting at the Doctor's office, waiting for the weekend, waiting for a movie to open, waiting to fall asleep, waiting for my ship to come in…

Maybe the drugs I'm taking are making me antsy. My skin feels like it's crawling off my body. I caught a scene from the film, and "The Quatermass Xperiment" where the character's flesh becomes its own thing after trip through space.

I've been reading up on OSHA's mold, fungus, allergens in the workplace and because of the information, I've come to the conclusion I will have to buy a spacesuit to survive. Scientists are making plans to sent astronauts on a one way mission to Mars. They go there and never come back! I have to figure out how to go to work and not deteriorate from the fungus that is eating away at my flesh. I love the job and the people there, but is my health worth the nearly minimum wage pay that's already being eaten up by my medical bills?

Since the temperature change I bought an inexpensive black jacket and hoodie, but after visiting a friend I noticed it became a fur coat after static collected stray hairs from her shedding cats. It's difficult to breathe. I need to find a place to live that has no carpeting or anything that contains carpet fibers. I'm not one of those people that need a pet. I love animals, but I don't need to live with them.

I drove around and looked at apartments but I know that my credit is so bad that getting a space will be difficult. I can't stand the idea of throwing money away on rent. I wish I could find a small piece of land and build one of those prefab houses. One of those cool architecturally designed modern prefab small homes.

If I could I'd love to live underground maybe in something like a abandoned missile silo. I would like my space to be small, easy to clean, something manageable, something to keep me from hoarding items I don't need, but larger than say a coffin. I like the idea of it being underground because the temperatures are always regulated and it's insulated.

Who am I kidding? I currently… barely make enough to rent a safe apartment. I wish there was some place I could stay for free just to save up my money. Maybe I could find an abandoned building and squat for a while. Maybe find an absentee landowner who is needing someone to house sit in exchange for free room and board. I wish I owned a van! It's hard to live below your means when you don't make very much and have nothing, but then when you have nothing you are capable of anything!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Have you made the list?

I was reading my "To Do" list just a minute ago.

to do:

sign up to workout at a gym, get in some program; karate, mix martial arts, judo… I dunno.

get a new car and or motorcycle

look at buying a house or finding an apartment

find a spa

start making tv shows

feel better

look better

be happy

There's more, but it's awful personal. I know we have few secrets, but still. If you were cooler you'd find out, because if you were, you'd be on my list of things to do.

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

I got the drugs!

I've spent so much money on this situation! Seeing the doctors and getting medicine all without insurance... I'm almost broke again! The new drugs get me so high! I'm tripping right now as I type this! They make me woozy. I hallucinate. I get all dreamy. Driving is incredible with all the headlights of oncoming traffic and the red glow of the taillights looks like lava pouring out of a mountain as it winds down the highway. I shouldn't be driving with all this going on inside me! What? Am I crazy?

My muffler has come loose and it was dragging down the road shooting sparks and sounding like a needle that jump it's groove and spiraled across the label, only superloud! I think someone stole my catalytic converter because of the precious platinum inside it. I'm just assuming someone stole it, it could've just rusted off my car.

Someone may have stolen my brain, too! If you find it, it's soft and cute and wet and tied up with big pink bow!

Why is my body fighting against me? Why won't it do what I want it to do? Who's the boss here, Me or my body? Is the Me, my mind, or my brain? Is there a difference?

My dreams have been wild and intense as you may have read in my previous postings. I hope tonight I have great dreams! I want sweet dreams. Dreams of love and romance. I want to dream I have no worries, that I can do anything I want, I'm free and overflowing with joy and that love in raining down on me!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

She was completely nude on horseback when she came up to me and I think she was an Angel!

Had the most incredibly emotional dream and to tell you every detail about it would fill a novel. It was intense and long. I woke in tears. If I even tell someone about it it sounds so stupid. There must be a lot going on inside me that I'm processing. Maybe the dreams are somehow dealing with it. I should be completely well after this dream with all the exhaustion I experienced when I woke up. 

The dream was like many that I have, being that much of it is me watching a film in a theatre and the dream being the film. I'll try my best to give you the short version.

I had traveled back to my old hometown to visit. I was having dinner with an old girlfriend and her family and her mother mentioned the old theatre we used to go to on dates was being demolished and we should go to see their last film before it was gone. She even said we should try and buy a few old seats and the curtains at the auction. My friend told her daughters we were going on a date and the eldest daughter began getting very upset that the place where we first kissed was being destroyed and how modern society treats culture as a disposable commodity.

We drove to the theatre and had difficulty finding it as it was hidden behind new glass building. The place was small and we entered and took our seats. The film had already started and the film was a horror film, I believe about a single father in his 60s who was incestuously involved with his teen daughter who had become pregnant by the son of a preacher. The old man called the boyfriend to meet him in the woods to get firewood for church. When the boy arrived the old man shot him in the head and as he was trying to bury the body his daughter and her friend from school arrived and began screaming. He tied them up and began raping them. The screams from the girls attracted a black man who had escaped from prison. The old man was off in the shed to get the ax to chop the girls up. The black man began raping the girls again and when the old man saw this he chopped the man's head off with the ax.

My date in the theatre began crying very uncontrollably and I asked her why and she explained to me she knew the girls from her high school. It was then I discovered this was a true story.

In the film everyone was bad and so was the acting, the old man, the daughter, the escaped prisoner, the boyfriend... But in the end the old man was treated as a hero for killing the prison escapee. People came to his rescue because of the death of his daughter and he became a media darling with interviews on all sorts of TV shows even with all the horrible things he did.

After the film was over my date cried and cried. Somehow she was all caught up in the story. She knew the girls, she had dated the boyfriend, she even told me she had married another guy arrested for digging up graves and stealing the jewelery off the corpses and she even had been involved with the black rapist prisoner! I asked, being rather racist, "How could you date a black rapist?"

She told me she had made lots of mistakes, but had always tried to do good and added, "I wasn't emotionally strong and after it happened, it had already happened, so there was nothing I could do about it. I just didn't look back. I kept moving forward."

Suddenly we're sitting on the hood of my car which was a 66 Oldsmobile talking about her life choices, then I was across a field that had been freshly tilled and I was watching us talk on the car. I could see her and me talking. Suddenly a horse was behind me with a nude girl sitting up on it bareback. 

The nude girl whispers to me from on top of the tall horse, "She's always trying to make the right choice, but she can't. You've always been the right choice for her, but you have refused to be chosen by her, so how can she win?" 

Just typing this dream out makes it seem so stupid, but I'm telling you it was deeply painful and all so emotional. That's not even half of it, it went on and on! I was so worn out when I woke up. I was thankful it was over.

I haven't completely figured out what it all meant, but some of it I have and I'm glad my waking life isn't too much like my dream life.

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

The old haunted hotel I've been hanging out in is making me sick!

Not feeling well at all today! Wish me luck! Think good thoughts! Be gentle. Soon I may become a ghost myself!

Remember that scene from "The Shining" where all that blood flows out of the elevators? My nose just bled like that all over me a moment ago! This can't be good! I just saw the shirt I was wearing in the laundry bag, looks like a prop from "Dexter!"

Blood has been pouring out of other places as well! The rash, the allergic reaction to the mold, fungus, whatever, something has returned with a passion. I'm deteriorating!

At The Doctor's Office today! Waiting for test results. What do you think I have? 1st correct answer is the Winner!

Got a BK Whopper in the hopes of winning a Kinnect/XBOX 360 Package for a friend, now I really really feel sick... Bleh... The things I do for friends and to save money on xmas gifts! It'll be the end of me.

I need to find a play to live. Cheap. Maybe an old abandoned house that I could fix up. What do you think? Any old haunted mansions in The South you know of? Maybe some old ghosts would love to have me there to communicate their needs to an uncaring world? 

Off to bed to dream, to heal, to write a book, to make a film, to die in a little slice of death and if you see me in the ether out of our bodies, please come and say, "Hello!"

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

People tell me all the time that I have a powerful voice.

It's funny to me to have been making a living for so long using just my voice, you know, in commercials, movie trailers, phone sex… However, sometimes when I'm with a group of people I find that some don't hear me, maybe they're ignoring me, maybe the volume of my voice is too low or somewhere in a range that is drowned out by the din of conversation. I seem to think they're simply ignoring me or pretending I don't exist or acting as if they didn't hear me.

Fine with that. Subliminally I've infiltrated their weak minds and unbeknownst to them, I've implanted my codes and demands and unlocked the vault to their most secure dark secrets. The more they try to resist, the easier it is for me to have my way with them. I have found that I can issue commands on a subconscious level, compelling obedience in others that they cannot resist, whether they are consciously aware of the attempt or not. This control can be as subtle as influencing thoughts and motivations, or as strong as forcing physical actions in my subject.

I would like to be able to use my voice like those in the book, "Dune" who were able to kill or crumble solid rock with the power of their voice. Just like Paul Atreides says, "My own name is a killing word."

Maybe I could use the healing qualities of my voice to miraculously cure whatever ills people and I myself might have. That would be great! I have a new rash outbreak cropping up across my body and if I could redirect this power to eradicate this painful eruption that's migrating over me, I'd be happy as all get out.

I have a reoccurring dream where I'm able to move small objects across the kitchen table with the power of my mind to the delight of others and myself. I wake up thinking my powers are real for about 20 min. or so, but realize from my sore throat that the power emanating from my mouth was a result of a thunderous night of snoring.

A few radio stations recently have inquired about signing me up as their voice. Radio seems dead, but this might be an indication that it's coming back, or trying anyway.

Started watching the film, "Orson and Me" and the guy playing Orson Welles has him down. I wish I could figure out a way to use my talents to make lots of money and movies and plays like he did for the time he did.

I'd love to be like, "The Shadow" and have the ability to cloud a girl's mind with the hypnotic use of my voice. I'd take command of her. Compel her to remove all inhibitions with me. Some girls are not at all shy about saying I have a sexy voice. Some say it makes them swoon and get weak in the knees. Some even quiver just from my whisper close to their ear. It's a power I love having mastered! I have even used it for evil purposes. I can whisper to her all the thoughts I wish her to have, such as, "Whenever I think of Jerry Lentz I become tingly and feel a powerful need to remove all my garments and pose for him in sexually suggestive ways and act out all my most intimate fantasies with him. Only Jerry can quench this thirsty lust I feel welling up inside me. When I think of Jerry Lentz, I picture myself with him and I see that I am throwing myself at him with complete and utter romantic abandon ready to express to him what makes me the sexual animal I truly am deep down inside me. I now let that erotic creature out for him to experience. For he is why I am here on Earth and I willingly give him my body and soul."

Yes, that and cool stuff just like that!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Are we all somehow connected? Yet we are all so different and see different things.

If you read about yesterday's life altering spiritual event at a Japanese restaurant with the family of a friend, here's a photo I took and now a few more fascinating details have just come to light.

In this photograph, birthday girl Dora is witnessing a volcano made of onion rings exploding into flames, but as you can see, the moment I captured it with my cellphone camera it appears to be the Madonna with Child, a horse rearing up and an angel.

One friend thinks she sees bigfoot giving the finger!

While skyping with my young friend, Erin who was also at the party, but unaware of my mystical experience, she confessed to me her own event when she asked me, “Jerry, do you think it's possible to dream something and then the next day have it come true?”

She told me she had dreamed we were all at a party at a restaurant and the conversation turned to the illegal downloading of music and that in fact did happen just seconds before the event I described in yesterday's post. However, she dreamed this the night before.

It's so strange, maybe others from the birthday party will come out and tell me of their own paranormal experiences at the restaurant. Could be geographical? Could we all have been experiencing something weird because we were in the right place at the right time? It couldn't have been food poisoning because we hadn't started eating when this all happened.

The photograph from a cellphone camera will appear in an upcoming photographic exhibit as part of a local fine arts installation. My friend Jeannie asked me, “Jerry, does this mean you're a fine artist?”

Less than 5 min. before she asked me this two young black girls were flirting with me in a bookstore and one said, “Sugar, you are so fine!”

Coincidence?

The word "fine" is not one that comes up directed at me very often. Unless it's used as, “fine whatever!”

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

She was screaming and moaning with pleasure and I was somehow responsible for it!

Went to a birthday dinner for Jessica's niece at a very nice Japanese restaurant. Her whole family was there and I of course had to arrive late, but still before the meal burst into flesh searing flames inches from my face.

Maybe it was the fumes of the food or the gasoline used, or the painkillers I dropped before getting there, but as I was looking at Jessica a strange form of deja vu sifted through me. It was like I passed through a wall. It was as though I arrived at some fork in the road of time and I had a choice to make as to which future I wanted or some part of my past to relive. Strange and weird.

I saw some blurred images flash before me of a girl that was in the throws of ecstasy. I knew instantly she was having an intense moment. Maybe it was the most intense and powerful feeling of her life. It seemed as though I had something to do with it. Was it the past? A past life? The future? A future life where this girl and this moment would occur?

My body shivered as it quickly played over me. It was just a flash, but the feeling was very deep and strong and it was hard and quick and it was warm and felt heavy and thick like honey. My heart raced. I wondered what my face looked like at that moment because Jessica was looking right at me when it hit me.

I must have looked insane! I could actually hear my heart beating in my ears and it was noisy in the restaurant, too. The sound was inside me. I could hear other sounds too. I faintly heard the woman screaming and moaning in pleasure as if it were on a radio being tuned in in another room. I felt somehow connected to something big and it was getting bigger and even bigger, still.

Something in the way the feeling moved through me gave me a freeing feeling. I had a sense of infinite possibilities. Anything could happen now. I could attain the pinnacle of happiness. I could embrace nirvana. I could reach out and touch the sky. Something opened in me, some chamber unlocked and widened and a warm joy flooded in and filled those empty spaces. Waves crashed. Fluids boiled. Thoughts churned, melted and merged.

This image of the woman quivering in waves of pleasure, laughing, screaming, aching, longing… Was it for me? Because of me? Is she a ghost? My angel? Someone from my past, my future or a parallel dimension? Did she come because I made a choice and that path leads to her? Maybe every time I do what I did, she finds her desire for me growing? Maybe she feels… the waiting for that moment in time when I come to you is almost unbearable, and you can think of nothing else but me. The more you try to think of something else, the more your mind comes back to me and you come and come again to me… and the deep penetrating emotion I create in you cascades over you.

This was in just a fraction of second, I imagine, but it was so deep and felt very long, so my mind was racing. I realized I was staring into Jessica's left eye all this time. I could notice the light reflected off of it and the depth and color like the night outside a window whose sill held a tall flickering candle. I wanted to stay there forever. Do you know what I mean? Have you felt this? Imagine for a moment what it feels like and tell me what it is.

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

I love smart women!

If she can read a good book and tell me about it, I'm hers. I even love to have girls read to me. I don't mind if she's reading a romance or a horror novel. There's something so cool about a sexy girl all wrapped up in a good book.

I know this one girl who not only loves to read, but she's fast when she does it! She started a huge 1500 page book and just a bit later she only had about 90 pages left.

Nothing is sexier to me than when a girl is holding my hand and leading me down the hallway to her bedroom, the light is dim, every so often she looks back over her shoulder at me as we get closer, she pushes open the door and as she bends over to climb up onto her bed, I see her quickly moving stacks of books off her bed all embarrassed.

One time after having a night of wild sex, I awoke to the sensation of a backache only to find I fell asleep on top of a hardback edition of some old Edgar Wallace book.

Another time I had been seduced by a slightly dangerous and crazy used bookstore owner and after having been bound by duct tape and having hot candle wax melted all over me, I was bent over a chair and getting spanked with her old childhood saddle shoes, and then discovered sticking out of her handbag a copy of, "Sexual Perversions: How to Identify in your Children Before it's too Late!" It was obviously too late for her! Yet, she seemed to acknowledge her strange behavior and make it work for her.

Still, I love seeing girls in public lost in a book. They can be sitting in a cafe, on the bus, on a plane, in a tub… Anywhere, and I'll have to stop and notice them and what they are reading.

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

I recently discovered an amazingly fast way to remove a woman's panties!

I tried it out on an unsuspecting female and I must say it truly was awesome! I'm thinking about selling the instructions either as an ebook or a DVD. I know it sounds silly, but trust me, it was so cool!

However, I just tried it again last night to poor results. It needs work. It wasn't as smooth this time. Back to the drawing board! More research needed!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

I'm still waiting for the great leap forward!

I'm always wondering what you are thinking!

It's raining and cold! I wish you would snuggle with me under a tent. We could listen to the rain hitting the canvas and hold each other tight under a warm quilt.

Ready for this week to be over! I wish it was Friday! I've tried my best to get excited about this week, but nothing seemed to work for very long. I need to somehow change things around. Been reading a good book, but almost done with it, and have nothing else to think about after that. Haven't any films I'm waiting to see either. All my friends are either busy or too far away. Been trying to write, but can't get anything out. Maybe it's the moon! I seem to be affected by it's changes.

Man, I am so tired! I need to get some energy. I'm so worn out I can barely finish this sentence. If you were here next to me, I just know you'd electrify me with your body, your thoughts, your hopes and dreams! I can get so excited and inspired by you!

Would you dance with me if no one was around to see us? How could I be sad if you and I were spinning around dancing? Even if you stepped on my feet, we would bust out laughing, then I'd grab you and pull you to the floor and tickle you for doing it. 

Dressed up to the eyes, it's a wonderful surprise to see your shoes and your spirits rise. Throwing out your frown and just smiling at the sound. And as sleek as a sheik spinning round and round. Always take a big bite! It's such a gorgeous sight to see you eat in the middle of the night. You can never get enough... enough of this stuff!

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Now I'm glad all that silliness is over!

Let's get back to what's really important, "Love!" So now, show me some love!

I think it's sweet that folks are all excited about voting and making themselves look cool by making sure they explain the importance in doing it, and pressuring you to do so and how great they are by voting... But seriously, everyone by now should realized it's a big fat scam perpetrated by the matrix to make you believe you make a difference. You don't. Get over yourself. It's all a lie and you're stuck in it.

Tired of living in a "Just Do It" world! I'm looking for the "Just Give Up" world! There shouldn't be any shame in quitting anymore. Why keep hammering away at something pointless? You can't take any of it with you.

Finishing work on my ghost story documentary. Got some amazing interviews with people here in the South that live in haunted houses and have experienced ghosts and other paranormal things. I think the film will be good. Getting ready to be interviewed for it on radio and other TV shows down here.

At work doing what I do, which is very complex, stressful and important to the future of mankind and entertainment, my brain hurts from learning new things with old nearly worn out technology. Holding a pencil and trying to look important and busy is what I'm trying to master. I have found if I hold a pen, people will think I'm smart and then they promote me. I am thinking if I add a clipboard to the other hand I will get a raise in pay. We'll see.

Even though I've traveled down here to the South to be near my first girlfriend and mother of my child (though I've never had a DNA Test and I don't want to be proven not to be the father), I find that I still Skype with her. It just seems easier for me to interact with people on an intimate basis via the cold and emotionally distant technology of the internet. Just as I'm using to talk with you now. Can you feel the warmth of my love?

Still homeless but looking for a place. My friend Jerome and his wife Pam have been very kind in letting me stay and shower at their cabin, but the drive is very far for me and I just rolled my odometer to 130,000 miles. Pretty good, I think for a 1996 Honda and all the driving I've done with it! But my car won't last long and I need to start planning something. I hope to find a place soon, or maybe find a van to live it. My friends get mad whenever I talk of living in a van. I however think of it as the modern day covered wagon the pioneers used when they looked for a promising spot to call home in this beautiful God-fearing land of ours. I imagine I could save money and hopefully build up a possible down payment on a small place. I think these things up as I sit here in the western themed decor of Jerome's log cabin guest room.

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

I'm thinking of movin' on.

I'd grab my guitar and hop a train if I only had a guitar! My car has started a knocking sound on the rear right wheel whenever I make a left turn, so it's only a matter of time that it will fly loose while I'm on a bridge or between two large semis. My car is so about to fall apart. 

I drove to Georgia and stayed in a motel for a few hours. Didn't sleep. Visited a friend for a while and then hit the road. I think this may be the way my life is heading, always leaving. I'd like to settle down, but it just doesn't seem to be in me to stay long. I'm running from myself, I know this. I wish it wasn't true. I wish I liked myself more, because I know I'm a good person. I know my unhappiness is never truly about the situation but just my thoughts about it.

Leaving things and people behind is painful, but maybe letting it all go is better than negotiating, arguing or hanging on. Every move is toward the new, the fresh and the mind stirs. I want to let whatever the moment brings, be and accept it as if I had chosen it. Used to be if I saw Jesus crucified, I saw the hurt inflicted upon him, but now when I see it, I see him accepting the suffering, accepting fate, owning it and through that act reaching enlightenment. 

I've always resisted. It takes so much out of me now. I want so badly to be the water in the cup, to bend like a reed in the stream and float like the leaf on the current. Whatever I fight, I strengthen, and what I resist, persists. I want to let it all go. 

I know that all I will ever need or want it already in me, but finding it there is the hardest journey.

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

I don't believe this is really Monday, November 1, 2010?

Being homeless has it's advantages when it comes to not having to pay rent. However, I'd love to be able to pay rent, or maybe pay off on a nice home. It's hard to celebrate something like Halloween with cool decorations or by giving out candy at your door when you are homeless! Imagine not being able to have friends and family over for a nice turkey dinner on Thanksgiving. No place to decorate a tree on Christmas.

Thinking I need a new career. I need to find some way to make lots of money without any effort at all. I wish a sugar momma wanted me, but it might have to be some kinda lottery. But then to win I'd have to get over my aversion to gambling. I've been approached to be a pimp several times, actually. Never followed through with it though. Still thinking it is all too much effort.

Imagine for a moment, if you will, that we are locked in a tight embrace, maybe in a Tunnel of Love ride, or in a darkened and scary carnival funhouse car, passing cobwebs, skeletons, ghosts... and you put your soft warm lips to my ear and whisper something, what would you be saying to me? Please make it sweet! I couldn't bear something mean, or even sarcastic right now. I'm so very delicate. What could I do that would make you believe that I love you?

Imagine for a moment we are together, we've had some wine, a nice fire is crackling in the fireplace, we feel a lil' buzzed and suddenly you want to paint a picture of me, a nude painting of me holding a sword while standing on some jagged rocks as an angry surf crashes behind me and my shipwrecked galleon sinks on the horizon all slightly out of focus, but undressing me in paint on the canvas is so sharp and clear on your mind. What are you thinking right now?

Imagine you are nude riding bareback on a beautiful horse, chasing me on my horse through the mist and trees of an English country estate. Your hair slings in the wind and your body crashes into the horse with each gallop. Faster and faster you go coming closer to me with each second. You catch up to me and we jump from our horses to the soft moss by the creek. Rolling down the slope to the waters edge, kissing deeply as my horse mounts yours on the hillside. Your wet hair hangs down and tickles my face as you smile above me. You look into my eyes and through these windows we see to the many lives we've lived that brought us to this moment.

Right now you may ask yourself, why am I so in love with Jerry Lentz and why must I give him my most intimate secrets? What compels me to give myself to him? Why do I feel the need to tell him everything I've never told anyone before? Why must I give Jerry my heart and soul? What magnetic power he holds over me. I sense his power as he stands over me. I look up into his penetrating eyes while kneeling below. Jerry looks into my eyes and I know I am safe, loved, wanted and desired.

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous