Stick with me kid, I'll make you a Star!

 

I used a hot glue gun for the 1st time last night on a movie prop! I'm very excited because the two people that were training me burned their fingers and they have lots of experience. I could tell they'd done it before, because they knew just the right curse words to scream out when they did it.

I now have a cool ass prop, I just need to make a movie for it.

It's so hard to tell sometimes if Manohla Dargis likes a movie or not. Or is it just me?

If you woke up with a bomb strapped around your neck and some perverse cinema lover told you to make an entertaining, but no-budget movie or you would die... What would your movie be about?

Have you ever seen this show? Man, it's trippy weird! I love the music and the city, it's like David Lynch directed this! Maybe I could make a film like this?

My friend, Tim Lucas reminded me that one of my favorite filmmakers' 97th birthday is today. Mario Bava was such a hero for me and many, many others.

My favorite Bava story is the one where he is a little boy and he takes the stone foot carved for a statue and puts it under the covers and tells his mother something like, "Mama, I'ma so sick and I hava no feeling in my legs. Feela my foot, I just can't make it to school..." 

That child would one day chill us all!

If you are new to the importance Bava has on people like us and curious to know all you can, please check out this fantastic book! It's also one of my favorite books! 

"Mario Bava: All the Colors of the Dark" by Tim Lucas

http://www.videowatchdog.com/bava/index.htm

Watch this as well! 

OMG! I just found myself making trying to make spaghetti! Now that's influence! Well, I think I'm gonna pop in "Danger: Diabolik" or maybe, "The Whip and the Body" while I eat in tribute!

How did I mess up this spaghetti? The noodles don't taste right! Did I boil them wrong? 

Goddamn it! I put salsa in instead of pasta sauce!!! 

Why do I even try to learn to cook? This is what happens when JL2 leaves for the weekend! I suck! I can't eat this! What a waste of food! I guess I'll make a pb&j to get this taste out of my mouth! Watch me screw that up!

I was thinking of toasting it, but I don't think we have a toaster, JL2 I think uses the oven or a skillet, can that be right? Shit! I had peanut butter on my finger, now it's on my keyboard! Crap! Let me get it oflkjljn kjhflasdf... 

There!

I'm hopeless! I need a nanny!

Pregnant Teen Millionaire Strippers of the World Unite!

If Casey Anthony becomes a multimillionaire for of posing nude for Larry Flynt's Hustler magazine, what kind of message does that send to other young mothers who are thinking of killing their babies? How can I possibly be thinking of becoming an author when I have a goof up like that in the preceding sentence? Gee whiz, "becomes a multimillionaire for of posing nude?" What is wrong with me? Should I just give up when I'm so close to finishing this book, or should I just kill it as if it were my first child? Maybe people will pay me not to write... UGH!

It would be so much easier if I had a smoking hot body and could just pose nude all the time. This "thinking" I have to do to make up for my looks, ain't working. I try and have a good personality, people seem to really like me, but then JL2's kids hate me... Life is really too hard for me!

Don't everyone rush in at once to tell me, "No Jerry, you do have a hot body! And you're smart, too!" I understand.

It's storming outside! I think I shall put on my rubbers and go out in it. It's been so hot here! I hate sweating! I'm making this right now, but I'm having a hard time wrapping the copper tubing around my balls.

Watched "Hairspray" (the musical) last night and thinks John Travolta should do more female roles.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry is against gay marriage and believes God created life and that the stimulus was $4 trillion down a hole, even though the plan saved jobs despite Republicans and corporations opposing it. He made a big show of not accepting the stimulus package, yet Texas ended up spending billions of federal aid dollars to balance the state budget. Have you seen "Cowboys & Aliens" yet? Any good?

The US House of Representatives approved an internet snooping bill so ISPs will retain names, addresses, phone numbers, credit card numbers, bank account numbers, and dynamic IP addresses. It's a record of your personal information plus the web sites you visit. It's like handing over a year's worth of browser history plus the contents of your wallet to the police. Now how do you feel? Man, we were all worried about how Facebook was stealing our info, but now...

JL2's B'Day is coming up on August 2... Dang, isn't that a couple of days away? I need help! What can I give her that doesn't require money? She's very frugal and hates money wasted, but I'm just broke. So give me some good ideas, because most of you know her pretty well. What should I do?

I love this idea I got, but she's made it pretty clear that she doesn't want me to bring another girl into the relationship, even as an experiment. I'll have to keep thinking about this, I know with y'all's help I can figure this out!

Not that I'm a "Cat Whisperer" or anything, but I can say with the utmost certainty that Jack the Cat hates me having the MacBook in my lap instead of him. He did this one thing by accident a few weeks back, the power cord to the MacBook is magnetic and can easily be popped off, which I love, but Jack pulled it off one day by rubbing up against it and learned he can get my attention when he wants me to do something for him by just casually walking up and unplugging it and giving me a "I'm here, look at me" kinda look.

Remember, dreams are wishes your heart makes.

I wish America could go back to independently owned businesses! We all should reject big business! Imagine mom and pop bookstores, small grocery stores, single owner radio and TV stations, drugstores with soda jerks, locally owned coffee shops, cafes, restaurants, videostores, cinemas, drive-ins... If we all really wanted it, it could happen. 

Maybe you're happy the way things are, though.

Stop cockblocking my wish! Are you an AmeriCAN, or are you an AmeriCAN'T? Make it happen! I have a tummy ache and can't get to it right now.

With all these corporations opening up fake offices in other countries to avoid paying taxes here and even moving jobs overseas, why are we supporting the very companies that lay us off or get bailout money?

What right does anybody have to stop what is dangerous and hurtful to a community or country? I see so many parallels between a walmart, starbucks, mcdonald's, barnes and noble and such, moving into a neighborhood and a crack dealer putting up a crack house near a school. I think if people were required to vote (vote without corruption or hanging chads) with an opinion other than voting with a purchase at the checkout and asked whether they want to buy cheap goods from China or sweatshops that put workers in the US out of jobs, I believe they would be Americans first and Republicans second and choose the right course of action to better this country instead of bettering the wallets of corporate CEOs and bankers that wave the flag in public, but wipe their asses with it in private. Corporations as an entity are of course fascist, they have dictators, so you can't support fascism and capitalism at the same time, or can you?

I know walmart is dangerous to this country! Walmart is the single largest importer of foreign produced goods in the United States, and the majority of its private label clothing is manufactured in at least 48 countries around the world without child labor laws and almost none of the clothes are made in the United States. Yes, "required to vote with an opinion" rather/other than voting with a purchase at the checkout. If a person knew the damage they were doing to the US and their future... They'd buy local foods that were safer and tastier. They'd buy lumber at the local yard instead of a giant box with minimum wage warm bodies that have no experience with the items sold. Between 1989 and 2003, the ever increasing US trade deficit with China has led to over 2 million jobs that either moved overseas or never were created in this country because production shifted to China. Wishes are naive, I suppose. And I do care about the American Worker, the American Worker that built dams, skyscrapers, bridges, drove trucks, defended this country and defended him/herself and their fellow worker against the hired thugs/Police/politicians that big money bought. While the Right, the Fascists, the Capitalists, the Banks, and the weak hypnotized by the paid for propaganda perpetrated by Fox News here and the UK, want to see the Unions abolished... Now more than EVER, the UNIONS must rise and save what is left after the vultures of Capitalisms have pecked out the eyes of Liberty, blinding her to their looting and their rape. These corporations, like walmart, by purchasing all these goods produced in China, they indirectly support continued workers’ rights abuses by Chinese authorities.

The Republican budget, which Moody’s Analytics and the Economic Policy Institute estimate will eliminate 1.7 million to 2.2 million jobs in the first two years, this puts two-thirds of the burden on low and modest income Americans. NEARLY EVERY HOUSE REPUBLICAN ON APRIL 15 VOTED TO GIVE MASSIVE NEW TAX CUTS TO WALL STREET AND THE WEALTHY and pay for them by cutting deeply into services for seniors, children and low and middle income working families. At that rate, China will absorb the US due to our debt and there will be no need to be upset about schools teaching Spanish, because our children will be forced to learn Chinese.

I know you love Chinese food, but EVERY night?

Nurse me! Now!

I have the worst stomachache! I couldn't sleep all night! I can't sleep now. I wish you could rub my belly and then pat my bottom until I fall asleep. Maybe you could even sing me a song. What sweet song would you softly sing to me, or maybe whistle to me? Nurse me back to… Feeling good, so I can sleep deeply.

I'm in serious need some magick in my life!

I was just told about guy that has Stage 4 cancer, a cancer that is spreading rapidly, had to wait over a month for his insurance to approve chemo! You really want to support insurance companies that make a profit by denying and delaying?

I don't want my premiums to be used for paying CEO bonuses. I don't want my premium to be used to pay bonuses to claims agents based on how successful they are on denying claims. That's what we have now. They don't deliver health care, they deliver profits to investors. 

And don't bring up, "We don't want Obama Care, or 200 Million people on Medicare, or our taxes will go to the poor scum that don't work..." We need solutions, not excuses!

What kind of mother would raise a son that would deny the mother help if she had cancer so they could make a profit?

What kind of mothers? Domineering, controlling, overbearing, and opinionated mothers whose discipline is strong enough to destroy their weak male ego, and as it says in the book, "Discipline and Deviance: Physical Punishment of Children, Violence and Other Crime that Arise in Adulthood" '...these mothers instill in the child through severe punishment, the inclination, especially in politics, to maintain the existing or traditional order while the adult child hides their secret sexual fetishes behind the principles and policies of a conservative party...' 

You can't argue with that, it's science!

It's no wonder we are ranked 37th by the WHO.

If I were King of America I would start a New Deal Plan and start building several of these crisscrossing the US&A, creating jobs for millions... Then I'd build new hospitals and refurbish old ones and staff them with brilliant and well paid doctors and hot sexy and smart nurses! 

Imagine for a moment how brilliant I am.

I'm so sick of that Goddamn Dancing Bear!

Was asked by an old friend/agent if I would please do her a favor and entertain at a bachelorette party. I told her I don't strip anymore and she asked, "Because you're married?"

I thought that was sweet of her to think that women would still find me hot at my age.

At the party, which was already in full swing, I found the girls in the kitchen talking and eating. They stopped, looked at me and pointed to another room where I found a drunken dancing bear with a lampshade on his head.

"He was so drunk when he got here! Oh he was stinky with booze," said the Hispanic bridesmaid.

Pornographer!

Ever been in a relationship where you wash laundry in the same machine? Then one day you're in a store and a couple of teenagers behind you say, "Hey old man, you got something sticking out of your pants leg!" You look down and there are her pink panties around your shoes. You quickly pick it up and shove them into your pocket while the kids scream, "Pervert! Panty Sniffer!" Really? Glad I'm not the only one!

This morning/noon I was taking a shower and I looked down and it looked like I might have spent the night at a Lady Gaga private party because there were sequins that had somehow stuck to my body that were being washed down the drain. Where did they come from? Then I remembered JL2 was sewing a sexy costume for DragonCon in bed last night. Glad I didn't sleep on the needles!

It seems one of my FB "friends" reported my photo from yesterday's post of my beautiful wife dressed as a French Maid as "pornography." Really? I wish I could find out who that "friend" is and... I dunno, what do you think should be done to a person like that?

I wish they'd unfriended me instead, or better yet, just go die. 

Seems I've joined a club of awesome artists that Facebook has also censored.

http://www.techeye.net/internet/facebook-admits-boob-on-nipple-ban

The thing that gets me, is there was zero nudity! Nothing was showing! No breasts, no butt, no lady business... Unbelievable! And there's no one at Facebook Headquarters you can talk to about it. I'm glad I'm building up my Google+ so I can jump off this sinking ship.

Here's the horribly dirty photo in question. See for yourself. Is this pornography? 

http://jerrylentz.blogspot.com/2011/07/she-can-clean-my-dirty-mind.html

If it was just about me in a photo, I wouldn't care, but my wife has been crying all night and is very upset that Facebook labeled her photo as "pornography" and when someone other than me makes my wife upset, I get very angry!

She can't clean my dirty mind!

JL2 was tired of reading how I didn't know who was gonna cook and clean for me when she was out of town a few days ago. So she came into my room and said, "Well, I've hired a maid and I want you to meet her, so stay here and I'll go get her and bring her in so you can get a good look at her."

I was ready for a sweet undocumented worker, so I was thoroughly surprised when this beautiful girl walked in! After a couple of hours probing her background and getting to the bottom of her skills, I think I got her to open up and together we came to a very satisfactory understanding of what it will take for her to enjoy working under me.

My muscles are so sore from moving furniture, boxes, trash... The aching is so intense even my painkillers aren't doing the trick and it's keeping me from sleeping. I wish I had a friend that could give me a massage.

Didn't hardly sleep at all. My wife would rub me, but she's a very busy gal and I wouldn't want to trouble her. When I lived in Dallas, there was a massage school I used to go to and let the massage students practice on me. It was great! I wish there was something like that near me now, cause these aches and pains are making me irritable!

Few things are as irritating to me right now than having to watch a :60 commercial just so I can see a :14 crazy cat video on YouTube!

I bet I have maybe 11 cameras at my disposal. All of these I'm counting have video capabilities. I'd say at least 75% of the time one of them is within my reach. So please, for the love of Pete, why when the cat does something so friggin' unbelievably cool, is it not captured and that precious moment preserved for memories and cash prizes?

Dang, that pussy is too fast!

Why must there be such perverse cruelty?

When I first arrived in London, I stepped out of Victoria Station and climbed into an open hansom cab. The horse flattened its ears, bared teeth, reared up and let out a prolonged neigh that was only slightly louder than the driver that began yelling at me to get out and fuck off. My only real experience with London at that time was "Thunderbirds" and the "Sherlock Holmes" radio shows I collected, especially the one featuring John Gielgud as Holmes, Ralph Richardson as Watson, and Orson Welles as Professor Moriarty. 

So how was I to know one doesn't just climb into every horse drawn carriage they see in the dim streetlamp lit halo of evening fog? 

That radio show was produced by Harry Alan Towers and sold around the world by his mother's company, Towers of London. The sweet elderly cabbie that eventually picked me up and kindly shut his meter off to give me his special tour in appreciation for the American troops who on way to the front marched across Westminster Bridge and loaded him and his widowed mother with chocolates and kisses. 

It was one of my fondest memories, being this elderly man, still employed, driving me around the backstreets and pointing out amazing tidbits of history. He honked his horn and waved to Roger Moore outside of his restaurant. Around the corner was Michael Caine getting his photo taken with two well dressed old ladies. He drove me past 221B Baker's Street, pointed up to the window of that apartment and then drove me where he said it originally was before the Germans bombed it. He told me about driving different celebrities around the city. Then he told me about driving Harry Allan Towers around and the wild things he would hear.

The 2nd anniversary of Towers' death is coming up July 31, and I already have a film festival of movies lined up in honor. I have to admit I have been a big fan of his work starting when I was a kid, but it's so strange that the same guy that got his start in radio and produced Jesus Franco films, was also was involved with a web of people that inspired Kubrick's "Eyes Wide Shut," possibly assassinated JFK, smothered numerous orphaned preteen girls for perverse sexual thrills and snuff films, took down a huge number of UK politicians with the Profumo Affair… It's an amazing story and it goes on and on and the web gets bigger and bigger! 

I'm again caught up in all this old stuff because of the amazing and very similar situation with News of the World and their use of spying, hacking, and possibly pimping out The Sun's Page Three Girls for political favors and blackmailing. 

Don't believe it? Stuff like that doesn't happen? Really? It has, it does and it will continue, sadly. And what are we peasants to do, when we can't trust our leaders, our news makers, our lawmakers, our police…?

I bet that cabbie would know what to do!

The French sure know what to do!

Check out legendary independent producer Harry Alan Towers in this interview, "More Bang for the Buck!"

Two videos from Andrew Marr, someone who knows scandal very well.

Now read view these websites for more strangeness!

http://www.cannon.org.uk/mh2.htm

http://aangirfan.blogspot.com/2011/04/double-agents.html

http://www.page3.com/

The stage is set!

Well, not yet. I'm converting a large, dusty, spider filled, and cluttered basement garage into a movie studio. The heat has been so bad, but it's cool down there for a while then it just becomes muggy. There is a/c there and that will come in handy when the lights come on.

Building a blue/green screen thing. Collecting lights to get it evenly lit. The rafters are exposed with connections to power very close. Assembling tools to go in an adjacent room to build props. Looking for PVC pipes to make dolly tracks. Finding old palettes and scraps to use the wood for sets.

Now if only I had some good ideas for what kind of movies I should make in the basement.

My ass is so sore!

My head is throbbing, I'm dizzy and have the worst diarrhea! So please don't beg me to have sex!

I feel like shit that's been stepped in outside on a hot sidewalk, smeared across a white shag carpet in a house where the central a/c is out and it's so swelteringly muggy inside the kitty litter box aroma is thick, heavy and suffocating, as the cat has taken to pooping under the couch where it's darker and cooler and... and... Ah, forget it! I feel just awful! Make me feel better! I feel like I'm full of mud!

I'm so glad I'm not at Comic-Con feeling this way! Then again, I'm just glad I'm not at Comic-Con. I always loved the first 15 minutes of it, but then everything goes out of focus. There's not many sweaty people I enjoy rubbing up against, being the germaphobe that I am.

I'm down. Need your sweet words to lift my spirits once again. Because as you know, I'm not well, maybe it's the heat, maybe it's the flu, but moments ago my sweet wife left me. Oh, nothing too serious, it's just a couple of days for college orientation. The thing is... I really miss her and it's been just a few minutes! What am I gonna do? Who is gonna cook? Who is gonna clean? What about sex? I need help!

Changing the subject I casually asked if there were any strip clubs in the area and she said, "No, the churches keep them from opening up around here." 

I was surprised to find myself yelling, "WHAT KIND OF HELLHOLE DID YOU MOVE ME TO?"

I thought that while my wife is away for a few days I might try and freshen up my wardrobe and surprise her with a new look when she gets back. Maybe some sexy underwear to spice things up a notch, but she's so small I couldn't even begin to fit in her panties!

Can you please rub my belly until I fall asleep? I didn't sleep last night and can't sleep now! But I bet Spanky could tell me a great story so I could go to sleep.

Please take some time and peruse a random sampling of links to impress upon you just how awesome I am!

http://www.youtube.com/user/jerrylentz

http://www.blubrry.com/jerrylentz/

http://www.thepodlounge.com/podcast/the-jerry-lentz-podcast

http://www.indiegogo.com/JerryLentz

http://www.podomatic.com/profile/jerrylentz

http://www.podcasters.tv/podcasts/the-jerry-lentz-podcast-161463.html

http://mubi.com/users/73953

http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/JerryLentz/reviews/

http://lafango.com/jerrylentz#!/media/18649-haunting-of-the-tower-theatre

http://www.bebo.com/JerryL876

http://current.com/items/91339384_join-the-growing-cult-of-listeners-of-this-...

http://www.lemonzdream.com/podcasts/?feed=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.jerrylentz.com%2Fp...

http://www.iworksaudio.com/Voices.html

http://www.iworksaudio.com/InterNuts.html

http://wn.com/Jerry_Lentz_on_the_Radio

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0502301/

https://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A1XD332UMO0OIG?ie=UTF8&%2AVersion%2...

http://voice123.com/jerrylentz

http://thevoiceinyourhead.blogspot.com/

http://www.voices.com/people/JerryLentz

http://flavors.me/jerrylentz

http://vimeo.com/jerrylentz

http://www.lulu.com/product/cd/hypnotically-guided-goals/11038393

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jerrylentz/

http://www.pandora.com/stations/74d9a8bdeef47f3e877be933163015f3e3c751ee3636d9de

http://itunes.apple.com/ne/podcast/the-jerry-lentz-podcast/id304095539

http://www.beverlygray.com/media.php

https://plus.google.com/116406054110847108299/buzz

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/jerrylentz

http://lentz2001.tripod.com/xlentz/index.html

http://www.allaccess.com/on-the-beach/10-questions/archive/4249/10-questions-...

http://www.playlist.com/playlist/2431373323

http://www.veoh.com/users/jerrylentz

http://current.com/users/JerryLentz.htm

http://www.massify.com/profiles/jerrylentz/

http://community.ovationtv.com/_Henry-Rollins-on-Jerry-Lentz/audio/262846/168...

http://community.spike.com/profile/JerryLentz

http://jerrylentz.livejournal.com/

Sexspionage!

Today at the community thrift store where the other "JL" and I get all our movie
props, costumes and set decorations, found an awesome old paperback book by John
Q called, "The Bunnies" for FREE!

In bed we played a game where we took turns closing our eyes, randomly selecting
a page, then fingering a passage, opening our eyes and reading a paragraph from
the book in our most sexy voice. It was fun!

We watched the best parts of Jess Franco's, "Two Female Spies with Flowered
Panties" or "Ópalo de fuego: Mercaderes del Sex" starring the beautiful Lina
Romay. I told her about the time I was putting together a vampire film in Texas
and wanted Lina to be in it so badly. I met her and talked to her and Jesus
Franco about the script and suddenly Jesus began offering the girl that was with
me a part in a film he was doing. It was chaos! I was being cockblocked by Jesus
Franco!

Lina Romay, herself said, wasn't as young and gorgeous as she used to be, but I
didn't care. I had a great part for her! I thought she'd rock in my film. It
never got finished, but I may turn the script into a book, because the script at
one time started having quite a following and for a while was listed in some
magazine as one of, "the best unmade film scripts."

These stairs are haunted!

While mopping the kitchen floor barefooted with a tropical and smelly good
cleaner, I opened the door to the basement stairs so I could clean all the way
to the tile's end when suddenly my feet flew out from under me, slippin' sliding
down the steps I went, all the way, ass bouncing from step to step until every
vertebra was realigned. I'll be feeling this later. Nope, I'm feeling it now.

Jessica said, "The floor is the cleanest it's ever been, especially the stairs!"

I told her, "The floor was hard work with a mop. The stairs was my fat ass
sliding down them and bouncing hard!"

The incident hopefully will help with my yoga work. I've been following Sadie
Nardini's videos for quite awhile, and by following, I mean, just watching.

Working on a new project entitled, "Trailer Park Frankenstein" and this is part
of the hair and makeup tests to what I believe will be an awesome work of
cinema!

I've been working hard on my memoirs with my editor and so far I'm over 60,000
words and I'm aiming for 100,000 by this weekend. Wish me luck! I'm gonna use
small, monosyllabic words like, "I" a lot so it's easier for me to type.

Watched an interview with author Diana Gabaldon for inspiration on writing and
because of my past life in the Jacobite Rising, where she talked nonstop without
a breath for 30 minutes. I wondered if she was on speed, then it occurred to me
she was just so excited about her life. I just know I will be that way soon. Not
about the talking a mile a minute part, but the loving life part, and maybe
taking speed.

The other day I went to a Davey Crockett Museum that showed the plans he used to
make gunpowder at his mill. I was telling my brother about the different
elements Crockett used and he said, "You mean like Kirk used against the Gorn?"

Anyone know if there's a flu virus going around? Something got ahold of me
quick! My stomach feels like it's a ziplock storage bag full of eels. I'm woozy,
poopy and don't think I can finish typing my book. Maybe it's been the heat! I
have been out in it sweating something horribly lately. I think I've been
dehydrated, too. I'm trying to feel better. I was told I need something called,
"Electric Lights," in my drink, so I put a string of old xmas lights in a
strawberry crush with coconut rum and then blew a fuse to the power. In the dim
candlelight I see on the note that they said, "electrolytes." Hmm…

Today turned out to be a beautiful day regardless of all the vomiting and
diarrhea! Thank you to the nurse that brought me grilled cheese sandwiches and
graham crackers! Now I feel like a hundred bucks!

These dreams are for pussies!

I'm going to sleep now, to dream, but while I'm out please try and influence my
dream by thinking up something good for me to dream about... Think about it hard
and try sending it to me with your mind and then write it down here in the
comments and when I wake up I will see who got the dream right and who has truly
connected to me through the ether. This will be an awesome experiment! START
NOW!!!

The Harry Potter movie made $168.6 Million Dollars already, but not one cent
came from me, because I saved money and watched Soledad Miranda in Jesus
Franco's, "Eugénie de Sade" for free and there was all the magic I needed.

I would go to a Club that had these DJs! It would be awesome if the club was the
Pussy Cat Lounge! Who wants to go and dance there with me?

Does your cat have a sensitive belly? She told me, "Whoever invents a cat food
without food coloring so that your carpet doesn't stain when your cat vomits...
They will be very wealthy!"

I'm so worn out from trying to clean the oven last night. I was really
scrubbing, trying to rid the stove of years of neglect, so watching this had a
healing affect.

I worked so hard it was very hard to get out of bed, but when I did, I was
excited to see my girl's shoes made it into this photo.

Thinking of building this to drag a mower behind it to cut the grass on the
variable terrain of the farm. It will also be useful to carry vegetables, wood,
soil and any bodies we might need to bury. I will alter the design slightly by
adding six workbooted feet on the metal legs to keep things quiet.

I want! For $550 you have a trike that costs nothing to fuel. I was thinking I
could haul the mover behind this. Maybe? Well maybe the mower will still be gas
powered, just pulled behind a solar powered trike? Might work, right?

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Sweet lil' thang!

Sometimes when I talk, trying to be cute, I'll put the word, "lil'" meaning "little" in front of it, like if I said, "What a cute lil' baby," or, "you sweet lil' thing," or, "you need a lil' lovin'?" But I hit a snag last night when I inserted it before the wrong sentence during love making when I proclaimed she had, "...such pretty lil' titties!" The feeling is just now returning to my jaw.

I guess I'm just glad she didn't scream, "How'd you like it if I said you had a lil' penis?" Because her indoor voice, when she said it, was loud enough.

Meeting my distant relatives, Jessica was really taken with my 2nd cousin on my mommy's side, everyone calls him, Jerry Bob. We are close in age and like me, he was also named after Gerald Ford. He is very sweet and the girls just love to play checkers with him. The doctors say he has a lil' brain, but he uses what he's got. He asked Jessica, "Does you like cream corn? Me, too!" He didn't even give her a chance to answer.

He only drinks Dad's Root-Beer, even when he takes his medication. He's harmless.

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

According to The Guardian, "If the FBI investigation into the News Corp 9/11 phone hacking of victim's family allegations prove true, Fox News will lose their broadcast licences in the US. Fox News is over!" Please Dear Lord God let this be true!

I was just talking with a friend how these powerful men always seem to get away with their crimes. But it would just be so awesome if this once they didn't.

My brother, Donny said, "You mean powerful as in George Soros?"

Not sure what "crimes" Soros has done other than being born a Jew, (are there really any jewish teabaggers or republicans? Why would a jewish person ever support the Christian Right? Really!) supporting liberal ideals, being a hedge fund manager (bad enough!) and making a Billion while profiting from a British economic crisis, but if he was getting insider information, tapping phones, falsifying information and presenting it as fact... Yes, I would like to see this powerful man go down, but I think Rupert Murdoch is a fine enough definition for "Powerful," I think.

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/breaking-the-mirror/

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/outfoxed-rupert-murdochs-war-on-journalism/

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/capitalism-love-story/

Back from my uncle's funeral. Got to see my cousins, my aunt, my brother and his wife and a whole bunch of family folk.

Was prepared to be incredibly sad, but seeing how much he was loved by his wife, children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and all his navy buddies...

Then a 21 gun salute...

I was moved and strangely filled with joy.

He was an amazing man!

Hold me close, the unknown can be treacherous!

What is acceptable to wear to a funeral when it's over 100 Degrees? I want to show respect but I don't want to feel like I'm being cremated.

I guess I will be dressed up, but I'm taking an umbrella to block the sun and possibly the rain. I can't believe in this day and age we don't have clothes with built in a/c.

I feel ill. I'm full of worry and heart palpitations and stomach aches... I've inhaled some evil vapor in the basement, disrupted bats, disturbed ant hills, burned twisted branches of an old tree that may have held the ropes of dead men hanged, gassed the spirits in the beehive, cracked some mirror, watched a falling star for too long without making wishes... Went to have more things cut off me and the nurse that said, "This might hurt you... lil' prick," a few weeks back was already laughing while sticking the needle into me because she was thinking about "lil' prick" and how I would work it into the conversation, so I said, "You want me to try and work the 'lil' prick' in, don't you?" To which she fell on the floor in spasms.

Tonight while using magick spells, incantations, conjurations, and invocations for power, money, fame, love and commanding the universe to bend to my will so I can be a successful author, filmmaker and an amazing sex god with a big long fat knob, I realized that even though the Harry Potter film is gonna make billions of dollars, they ain't getting one penny out of me!

I've spend my time well. I've been eating peanut butter cookies and watching the work of the late great filmmaker, Jean Rollin!

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Don't lick me, I'm blue.

Plopped in a fresh toilet bowl cleaning tablet into the tank, so now the cat has a blue tongue.

One of my favorite uncles passed away last night. Mom would go visit him and then call me by his name for a week, getting me confused with him. I think all my mom's family has now passed away. My mom and dad are both gone. It's a strange feeling. I could have been a better relative to everyone. I just get nervous around people, even ones I know and love.

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I'm gonna keep an eye out for you!

Thought I'd share with you some recent search strings that have brought people to my website.

http://www.jerrylentz.blogspot.com/ Here goes; Darla Hood Nude, Jayne Mansfield's Boobs, Dancing Bear, Miranda Kerr Nude, Demi Lovato Nude, and believe it or not... Jerry Lentz Pornstar! Boy, these people must be so disappointed when they get there!

A very sweet friend read that another friend gave me the "P90X" workout videos and felt compelled to give me a gift as well, so I got "Eurotika," a tv show about European sexploitation and giallo movies. So I know of at least one bicep that will get a workout.

I'm really upset today because while getting frisky with me last night she leaned over me and I screamed, "OUCH! You're on my hair!" Shocked she yelled, "What hair?" Then she began laughing uncontrollably when it was pointed out that it was my back hair! My mother always told me when I was young, "Jerry, if you start shaving your back hair it'll only grow back thicker!"

I could use some money, so please get me some voice over gigs, or something. The money will of course go to charity! This particular charity is one that should be close to everyone's heart and if not, they should quickly hurry up and join the, "Help Get a Riding Lawnmower for Jerry Lentz Because His Wife Wants Him to Mow All Five Acres and He's Worn Out Just Thinking About It Fund!"

Anyone have any idea where I can get a good/cheap/free riding lawnmower? There is five acres that need it and the scissors and kneepad approach is getting real old.

I also want an Orbital Palm Sander for those lonely decaying orbit nights when one might need to take the edge off.

Have you ever purchased a sex toy from a "passion party" or been to a party put on by a friend where women can look at look at the products and discuss how they can enjoy them? What did you buy?

OMG!!! This is the best commercial! What a sweet man for doing all he can to please his woman!

I'm sure you are aware of the recent UFO activity around the area where I'm living. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ROKAiogjQuM/Thy9-TLsqeI/AAAAAAAAAao/54ndmIR02zU/s16...

So in an effort to see if any aircraft look like what we're seeing, I watched this video.

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Ghosts of the Underground

Just watched a fantastically produced documentary on ghosts experienced in the London Underground. I have to admit some of the stories unnerved me. It's really well made. If you watch this, and it is the full movie, you should watch it at night with all the lights out with someone you want to be snuggling with.

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/ghosts-underground/

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Got to see the new Batmobile!

Can't wait to see, "The Dark Knight Rises" and all the cool things in it! I'll be honest though, this Batmobile seems kinda white-trash to me. Maybe they haven't finished it, yet.

I like the old classic one and the twins blocking the view. One of them, I don't know which one, works with my friend, Steve. He never knows which one either and that is part of their power and with it they control men, through confusion.

Go see their stuff!

The Poubelle Twins!

http://www.deuxfilles.net/

See the full gallery on Posterous

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What kind of woman reads Video WatchDog?

As our day was filled with artistic endeavors such as painting, writing,
filmmaking and thrift store shopping, I asked my favorite model to pose nude
with Tim Lucas' Video Watchdog magazine as a gift. A "thank you card" for all
his wonderful gifts.

I've been reading Video Watchdog for years. I believe I started my subscription
right after reading the very first issue. I bought every book Tim wrote. One
book is so heavy after getting it out of the box to read it, I threw my back out
so badly I was on the floor for a week. He got us the coolest wedding gifts and
he is always very supportive of things I do and want to do.

http://videowatchdog.blogspot.com/

Speaking of dogs... You know I love animal stories!

"Woman died from allergic reaction to sex with dog. A man appears in court after
allegedly ordering his Alsatian dog to have sex with a woman who died as a
result."

What kind of treat is that for a dog? ‎

"I thought you give a dog a bone," said Jessica.

I know, right?

Then she continued, "But will she be remembered as a wonderful mother, a caring
neighbor, a generous and loving human being? Nope, ya fuck ONE dog…."

http://www.thejournal.ie/woman-died-from-allergic-reaction-to-sex-with-dog-17...

Please come visit me! I needs you so bad! Jerry Lentz - Google+

https://plus.google.com/116406054110847108299

Survived the storm last night! I suppose I should have been worried, but I slept
like a baby. Seems rain hitting the windows, high winds, and thunder shaking the
house puts me right to sleep. I hope another storm comes tonight! I could use
the sleep!

Very excited by the news from my doctor that everything that was cut off and out
of me has exited the tests as benign. To celebrate this very important
announcement I am excepting congratulations and gifts and sweet and loving
comments! I also got chocolate cake!!!

Just found out day one's word count on my new nonfiction book is 28,990! And
half of them are dirty words! I hope you buy it when it get's published!

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Has anyone seen anything like this recently?

Not sure what we might have missed as we ran inside to grab my camera. I'm sure we can't be the only ones to have seen this.

During a storm over the property we watched this aircraft circle and hover for several minutes above the treetops.

Soon another aircraft joined the first one as the rain began to come down hard in the thunderstorm.

With lightning flashing all around I was warned to get inside the house as this experimental or military aircraft circled above without much noise.

She ran toward the house as the two aircraft started making a horrible whirring and grinding sound while emitting flashes of light. She pointed to the other bystanders to look at the second craft. As she neared the house the two crafts shot up into the clouds at a high rate of speed. I am proud of our Military for creating such amazing aircraft. I'm just happy we got to see them over our property!

Now I'm looking online for any videos to compare them to, but I keep getting distracted by cool stories!

Turns out today, July 8, back in 1947 the U.S. Army announced it had recovered a crashed flying disc near Roswell, New Mexico. Quickly afterward they retracted the story, and said it was actually a "weather balloon."

Also, Jessica just pointed out that she was wearing a Devil's Tower tshirt! Weird!

http://mysteriousuniverse.org/2011/07/the-bizarre-case-of-the-kera-ufo-encoun...

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/dan-aykroyd-unplugged-on-ufos/

http://www.areasixtynine.blogspot.com/

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Krogersaurus vs Megajessicapus!

In a dark and remote corner of Krogers, a once believed extinct reptile from the
Grocerozoic Eon known as a Hydrosaur was discovered young, healthy, bloated and
marked down. This astounding discovery of the creature and how its metabolism
produces a lighter than air and flammable gas is what many believe is precursor
to the mythical fire-breathing dragons.

Witness the stunned look of the people passing by when they realize they have
pushed their carts down an aisle of…

The lost world.

To see more fantastic creatures, go here!

http://jerrylentz.blogspot.com/2011/07/today-it-rained-and-stormed-little-so....

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Today, it rained and stormed a little, so as is my wont, I ventured out into the woods on the beautiful property that I have begun calling home. I took many pictures, but these are two of the cutest and most beautiful creatures I found roaming the area and that were willing to get close to me.

My Apple is locked up!

While visiting the jail where I discovered an old robot from the 1930's, I was surprised to see the law enforcement officials being so cool, modern and up to date by using Apple Computers.

Compiled below is a link to the 10 Most Stylish Mac Girls who I can attest look nothing like the law enforcement officials I met, here these nerds are wearing and modeling around famous Apple products.

http://listphobia.com/2010/02/27/10-most-uber-stylish-mac-girls/

On The Colbert Report, David Levy predicts that within the next five years humans will have sex with robots.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/147893/january-17-2008...

We will have Armies of robot soldiers and Robocops. Jobs will be lost not to Mexicans, but to Mechanicals.

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Don't ever tell anybody that they're not free.

Being slightly pyromantic I burned some tree branches and wood from storm damage, trash, old blankets, and many other toxic forms of ozone killers including some fireworks, but the biggest explosion was the 6 cans of aerosol spray paint that was in a box of styrofoam packing material sending sparkling shrapnel in my direction.

Feel like blowing some more shit up today! Why? Because I'm an American! And that's what we do! Eat, blow shit up and eat again! Yeah, I'm hungry, jealous?

She said her back was hurting, so I said, "You want some Doan's Pills?" And she replied, "You know why they call them Doan's? 'Cause they Doan Do SHIT!"

She was trying to tell me about some Kate Winslet film, but she couldn't remember the name. Her face was all twisted up and you could see the cogs grinding in her head as her lil' brain was steaming to push out the thought like a sausage. She asked me with a pained expression, "What was the name of that Titanic movie?"

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Sitting like a princess perched in her electric chair.

When I was a kid listening to Elton John's "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" and
he'd get to the lyric, "...And someone saved my life tonight, sugar bear," I
thought he was talking about the Super Sugar Crisp Sugar Bear from Post Cereal
you know, the one with 8 essential vitamins. So I always loved the song because
I loved that cereal! I doubt I knew at the time that it was about an attempted
suicide over trying to get out of a marriage.

My friend, Marshall sent me this Male Fairy Tale:

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a Princess, “Will you marry me?” She said,
“No!” And the Prince lived happily ever after, rode motorcycles, banged skinny,
big-tittied girls half his age, hunted, fished, went to bars, drank Captain
Morgan, never heard bitching, never paid child support, never got cheated on
while he was at work, he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat
up.

The End.

Watched a thoroughly disgusting Japanese game show where a father of 2 daughters
could win a family trip to Hawaii. All he had to do was not have sex with his
daughters who were mixed in a line up of 6 other fully nude barely adult women
whose faces were obscured and only had their naughty bits protruding from
openings in the set. Of course, he lost, but us viewers were the clear losers!

And because he lost by having sex with his daughter, he had to choose which
daughter he would have to impregnate as part of his punishment for losing. All
the time I spent watching and reading subtitles I kept thinking how Ryan
Seacrest was gonna handle hosting the American version. My friend said she
doesn't think the show is real, but you can't make that shit up, besides it was
on TV via the Internet!

I was gonna post the links to the video of the said tee vee show, but my lawyers
advised against it.

I watched a sad Diane Sawyer news piece from years back about Belladonna and how
she hates what she does, yet keeps doing it because the money is so good. Is
that really a good excuse? Would you keep doing a job that you hated yourself
for doing just because the money was good? Hmmm...

I don't have a job, other than pleasing you dear reader, but I hate myself for
watching that news piece and the 1000's of hours of Belladonna's oeuvre.

I hurt my hip something fierce yesterday, I must be getting old, I also found a
gray nose hair, so I've been doping up with some awesome drugs and chocolate
cobbler. Well, the drugs were to get over the hip pain, not the shock of finding
a gray hair in my nose, chocolate cobbler was for that and it was The ABSOLUTELY
BEST COBBLER EVER!!! But I'm back to feeling okay, just woozy!

I found a brand new walker at the thrift store for $5, but a tube of tennis
balls were $8, so I might just start making some noise instead. I never see
people out on walkers without tennis balls on the feet of the walkers. I wonder
who figured out that was the way to fix that scraping sound? An old genius, I
bet! We as a society can't just throw our elderly away! There are still
geniuses, craftsmen, artists, philosophers, writers, teachers and once a porn
actress reaches 28 years old, she can start working in the genre known as
"Mature" by her 30's she can do "Milf" and "Granny" stuff…

Well, old people still have value, that's all I meant to say.

Unless they are completely out of it, smelling bad and taking up space,
drooling…

Hopefully someone will still care for me!

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Donkeys can be so cute!

While perusing the many items at a local hillbilly thrift store I found this most excellent antiquarian book. It was in great condition which surprised me seeing all the fun game ideas held within those magical pages.

Donkeys can be so fascinating as this small sampling of videos can show.

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What a sad robot!

While visiting an Old Jail Museum, hearing stories of crimes from the past and looking for ghosts, I was shown a small jail cell that was being used to store lost items and found historic treasures and this fantastic robot from the 1930's!

How cool is that?

I asked what crime it might have committed to be incarcerated for so long and there was no answer given!

Sometimes I wish I were a robot because my feelings always get in the way. If I were a robot maybe I wouldn't be so sensitive and things wouldn't hurt my feelings. I'd be all metal and strong! Unless I was made to be like the Bjork Robots.

http://machineslikeus.com/news/video-making-bj-rks-all-full-love

http://www.instructables.com/id/Wobbly-a-Mini-Biped-robot/

http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2010/12/top-10-robots-doing-stuff-that-scar....

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