Searching for Halloween ideas JL2 was contacting a costume shop that we're gonna visit tomorrow and the proprietor was describing the place and what they sold when suddenly she said, "By the way, I Gay!"
JL2 didn't know what to make of that. Like why did that make a difference? The conversation ended and JL2 looked up the website and read that the owners NAME was "Gay!"
Can't sleep, so I thought I'd watch my wife sleep for a while. I love the way she looks when she sleeps. She's so peaceful, so beautiful, just an innocent angel. She has a slight smile and a relaxed look on her face. She's so tired from a long day of work there's no way she'll wake up when I carefully undress her and take nude photos.
It's a fact, people are loving her paintings that you see above! She's already sold a few, so if you know someone that wants one, they better hurry and look at this!
Visit the #1 portfolio for photos by Jerry Lentz and professional models. If you are interested in modeling for him, (erotic, fetish, nude...) please contact and send your best photos here.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
I'm so upset!!! JL2 replaced my regular Magnum XXL Condoms with Red Star Quick-Rise Yeast! She just doesn't trust me and I suppose she'd like to cause the other girl to get a yeast infection!
I swear, I tried to wait! I just have to show you JL2 at work on a fantastic new icon portrait! JL2 is even using her finger on her! You can see she's wet! Can you tell me who she's painted and what film this is from?
I used to be such a fan of his as a kid! Frank Frazetta was the man! He dominated the fantasy art genre and my young life with images of savage warriors, curvaceous slave women and buxom princesses, alien creatures... My walls were covered with his work!
We have ocean acidification, ocean dead zones, garbage patches, hole in the ozone layer, numerous species no longer exist due to overhunting and overfishing, so it is completely laughable when you hear political boobs say that, "...man cannot impact the environment!"
"Your phasers are useless against my panty-shields!" Overheard that today at Kroger from two silly sisters that giggled and ran when they noticed me in the aisle looking for suppositories that might possibly fit into the barrel of the NERF Longstrike Sniper Rifle. I'm making a film that needs this as a prop! That's why!
On this date in 1964 the 888-page findings on JFK's death by the Warren Commission declared Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. Do you believe that?
They are selfish, stubborn, gross, messy, noisy, stinky… But this little baby stole my heart today! He has a cute and deep lil' voice that sounds all gravely and coarse. I like that!
Is it fair when you have to watch the crap a 13 year old girl wants to watch, but she doesn't have the common decency to watch the crap I want to watch? It's NOT fair!!!
I'll show her! I'm gonna pout all night! And maybe tomorrow, too!
Looking to make a big change in my life! If facebook can change, so can I.
Talked with a friend about, "potential" and I said, "'Potential' just means you ain't worth a shit now." She got the saddest look on her face.
Next week starts National Breast Cancer Awareness Month (NBCAM) anyone know any cool things going on? Remember a couple of years ago when all those cartoonists got together and used pink ink? I thought that was pretty cool.
Got online but haven't found any really interesting things like that going on. About 10 years ago I learned how to perform breast exams, so I might offer my services free of charge! I discovered that the tongue is really sensitive and babies use their mouths to feel shapes and learn about form, so figured the best way for me to do the breast exams is with my mouth. I know what you're thinking… Yes, I will do it for free, because I'm selfless! Oh, and No, I will not check the prostate, or look for testicular cancer using the same technique, because I just happen to be busy on those months.
HORRIBLE!!! I bit into a plump and juicy sausage link this morning, the kind that the insides where slightly less hotter than the surface of the sun, and it squirted its scalding grease straight up into my nostril and down the back of my throat!!! I panicked, struggling to find a tissue as my sinuses boiled and blistered to riotous offstage laughter from a friend that just moments before I had believed I loved more than anything in the whole wide world.
Looking to make a big change in my life! If facebook can change, so can I.
Watched some WikiLeaks videos... Not a good way to spend a beautiful sunday.
Watched, "The Lion King" for the first time, and is it just me or does Scar come across as kinda gay? I said I thought he was, but someone got upset and said he fathers a kid in part 2. I tried to tell her that even Nathan Lane has kids.
I currently live with two girls that are always cold. They wear coats around the house all the time. I start sweating when the temps hit 58° and continue on up until death occurs at around 90° so I'm miserable when they are comfortable. My body engine is steam driven and my brain has high voltage electricity arcing in a halo.
Native Americans fear me.
They say, "You have a spirit from the 5th World inside that no man or animal can see without death..."
If I only had one dollar to help all those people, I'd be a 27 million dollaire! I need to start a charity! For every $2 you send me, I'll give one dollar to a slave!
You always hear about some mentally unstable veteran shooting people, but where are the wackos when ya need them to destroy the Westboro Baptist Church at 3701 W. 12th Street in Topeka, KS? If there was a way to collect a fund to do something like that...
After all the military funerals they've protested, all the children, friends and family members they've hurt...
Aren't there some warriors and military experts out there that could get the job done? Uh, if only...
Hmmm... Can't some Navy Seal Ninja type sneak in and get 'er done?
Okay, how about if this covert operation is made to look like an accident? Ah Ha!
I think this would make a good book! Army buddies go to bury the fallen war hero friend and encounter protesters at the funeral, they see the damage it's causing the window and their kids...
I was just wanting to show you the new Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkin things because of Halloween coming up and then JL2 had to grab them! I tried to tell her I was just showing y'all what I'm hooked on now, but she seems to think I was gonna eat them! She hid them so I can't find them! I think that's rude!
And it's rude to you, too!
Going through my movie stuff for a possible Halloween Film Festival and started watching some Juan Piquer Simon. This is a very nice documentary! And check out the trailer for "Pieces" too! Dang!
I just couldn't wait to show you how artistically talented my sweet and beautiful baby is! JL2 has a great eye! Two eyes, actually! (What did you do to his eyes?) I wish you could see them in person, they look fantastic!! JL2 is showering now after going crazy with her talent tonight! There's paint everywhere and it looks like blood (Oh the blood, Mother!) and when she was washing her hands it was spiraling down the drain! Can you tell me who this is in these two paintings JL2 did? You know you want one, or even two!
I sure hope this isn't a sign that I'm getting close to the age where one might find themselves almost nearing or being... Old. Ever go to the bathroom, do your business, go to the trouble of wiping, shaking it all dry, even going the extra mile to wash your hands and spray air-freshener, then as you're drying your hands on a towel you suddenly feel that rumble in your belly that tells you that you need to go poop again? Ugh!
I was brushing my teeth with my Reach toothbrush after dinner and trying to sing "Sexy Boy" by Air at the same time, so my hand got covered with slippery toothpaste foam and the handle slid out of my grip and went deep into my throat and as I reached in for it I misjudged because of watching the action in the mirror and accidentally pushed the brush further past my gag reflex and THAT, ladies and gentlemen is how I became a supermodel!!!
Jack De Cat is looking at his reflection in the big mirror we got at the Fire Dept sale, that JL2 is restoring to its gothic splendor, and Jack is all confused by the pretty cat he sees but can't smell.
It must be blowing his lil' mind.
I hate when Youtube posts awesome and teasingly enticing channels they believe I should watch in the "Recommended Channels" sidebar only to cockblock me with, "This channel is not available in your country." Why post it then, assholes?
I was reading about a friend and his 15 year old daughter spotted Tori Amos and how his daughter went wild. He walked her over and asked for an autograph and while Amos was signing it, the girl said, "I just love you on Doctor Who! What is Matt Smith like?"
The father was so embarrassed, but Tori Amos just laughed it off and said, "I love Doctor Who, too!"
How cool that she didn't spoil it for the girl!
I was saddened to discover that Cameron Crowe's “Pearl Jam Twenty” tribute in honor of their 20th anniversary this year, didn't contain one mention of me or my film, "Angry Blue Planet" even though they did in two other biographies on the band.
I don't get it, Cameron Crowe has always been nice to me, too.
I was still talking about finally watching, "Finding Nemo" and the photo I posted on Facebook of, "Finding Nimoy" then my friend, Steve Kellener says, "Finding Emo - about a little goth fish." JL2 says, how about, "Finding Chemo - about a sick fish in a polluted and carcinogenic ocean." We laughed, then it got real quiet.
This kid was telling me how she goes to school with a Romanian boy named Vlad who has really bad asthma attacks, so her classmates being the nice and sweet little angels they are started calling this poor darling child, "Vlad the Inhaler!"
I think I might need to lose some weight. I just bent over to tie my shoes and found my chin resting on my gut and not because I'm flexible.
I've become a HUGE fan of Martha Colburn's work! There is a lot in her animation that I respond to. I first became aware of her for her work in the film, "The Devil and Daniel Johnson" and a friend from Detroit who performed music for her live installation. Check her out!
Texas Governor Rick Perry says he has interpreted certain events through his life as signs from God. You really want a President that believes he gets "supernatural" messages from God.
I've been trying to write my memoirs using A. E. Van Vogt's writing methods, but ran out of antonyms for "mind-boggling!"
Is there any trick you use to be prolific? Besides, "Reply All."
My back is still hurting. I woke up stiff as a board. I was trying so hard to get it in gear. Hot shower. Hot rice bag. Hanging upside down on the inversion table. I hate to be this way, but having years of experience with back pain I know for a fact that the only thing that works in making it better is oral sex.
I think JL2 is on to me about this backache! She brought me breakfast in bed, then lunch, she rubbed my back, neck and feet. She fluffed up my pillows. Then I said in my strained and pitiful voice, "Sweetheart, I sure could use some hot fresh brownies and milk." She didn't even look at me when she said, "I'd like some to, so get your fat lazy ass in the kitchen and make some!"
I need to get back in shape. I think the shape I was in when I was 13 is pretty good. I'd like to get fit, but this way is so wrong on many levels and should be stopped at all costs.
JL2's 13 year old daughter ESP was telling us that Dr. Oz said if anyone gets 10 strands or more when you run your fingers through their hair that they will go bald, so I asked her if she could run her fingers through my luscious mane of back hair (because I can't reach it) to see if my back will go bald, she said, "I, I,...I just threw up in my mouth."
I don't get it! When I tell about the way JL2 is treating me (making me fold clothes when my back is supposed to be hurting, making me wake up at noon and shower, making me pick my own clothes up off the floor...) people just cheer her and request her to be their FB friend... MY friends! Where's the love for me? I'm the one that needs it!!!
JL2 brought me breakfast in bed! Then she nudged me, "Baby? Wanna go to see if there are anymore yard sales out there?"
How could I say no?
It was a great day! I got a cool 60s style chair for $2, JL2 found a really pretty dress for 50¢ and got a neat free table! We didn't stress about finding stuff or not, just chilled and looked and drove and looked some more. However, we forgot to eat lunch because we got distracted and both of us got hit all the sudden with hunger. It was weird, like we both hit a wall.
Then as we were finished I was leaning into the back of the car, loading some nearly weightless item, when my back suddenly went out! SHOOTING PAIN up my spine, through my neck and up into my brain... WHY??? I'm in such pain it hurts to type in all caps!
I threw my back out after a strenuous day of going to yard sales? I'm so flexible!
It's feeling better now.
I couldn't find the painkillers I usually have when I encounter my yearly back outage, so JL2 came into the bedroom and said, "Baby, I think I got just the medicine you need!"
She opened up a Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkin® and applied it to me orally. That stuff was like fast actin' Tinactin® cause within seconds I started to feel better!
Once again, the trusty old Inversion Table I purchased over 10 years ago from QVC did the trick! It separated all the vertebra in my spine and the tangled coaxial of nerve endings fell loose and free like a rocking chair off a cat's tail.
Still have some sore muscles but nothing a good Thai massage with a happy ending won't fix!
Sadly no money fell out of my pockets while I was hanging upside down. That's only because I don't have any money, and the only things that fell out of my pockets were 4 Cherry Chapsticks®!
How did I end up with 4 in one pocket? Oh, and one pretty marble, too!
Check out my other blog about all films I watch! Today's film is, "The Living Dead: Three Films About the Power of the Past"
As I'm a huge fan of Adam Curtis, I had been looking forward to this film. It is amazing, terrifying and at times hilarious. You get to see how naive science can be, how tax dollars fund huge black budget operations that inflict horrifying tests on enemies and the public without their knowledge.
Seeing this film means I've caught up with all his released films. The guy is absolutely the best! I sadly must wait for more of his work to be unleashed upon the world.
Remember our deer? The one with the broken leg? She's still here and her lil' ones are growing up so fast! They love that deer lick block with all the nutrients we put our for them. One day there was almost 15 deer out here! I was really worried for a few days because Hunting Season has started and there was gunfire all around us. If the deer only knew they were safe on our property...
JL2 just asked me if I wanted a brownie, but added, "...or are you too full from the Pop-Tart you just had?"
I didn't want to admit I just had one and was pissed she's keeping track, so I lied, "I didn't have a Pop-Tart!"
Then she says, "You didn't eat one? What are those crumbs all over your belly?"
Thinking I was losing brownies, I panicked, "Oh, I was picking my nose."
She gave a wincing kinda look, "If that's your lie you must be desperate for brownies!"
Well, the thing is, she knew it was Pop-Tarts, so she wasn't being gross and besides; My nose is so clean you could eat out of it!!!
A friend messaged me and said, "OMG Jerry, you gotta go and watch this commercial on youtube!"
So I go and search it. It was a commercial and guess what played before I could watch the commercial? No, another commercial! Remember way back in the grand old days before youtube played commercials before commercials?
Insurance isn't letting me get my medication refilled until after the day it runs out, and it would have to be called in again to the pharmacy, but it can't because my doctor is out of the office for a week during that time. There seems to be no way for me to get my medication without a 3-7 day lapse leading to major withdrawal a serious side effects.
I heard the Tea Party audience shouting "Let Jerry die!"
They had given me a year long prescription, but suddenly changed it to a one month without warning and at the last minute. Even the Doctors and nurses are at a loss to understand why they are doing it.
I can't believe it! JL2 woke me up at 10am to go yard sale hunting again!
JL2 and I were very disappointed in the yard sales we visited today! What happened? Last week was awesome, but today was the worst example of meth-heads, jacked up prices on dirty and broken items and babies running around with no diapers on. Awful, just awful.
JL2 tried to make up for a bad day at yard sales by suggesting we go by one of those Spirit Halloween stores and look at costumes. I was interested in picking up some liquid latex and other special makeup effects goop, but I thought I could find it cheaper elsewhere. Do you have a good source online that I might use?
JL2 is so skeptical. She is hard to talk to when it comes to UFOs, Ghosts, Nessie, Bigfoot, Fairies, Mothman, Sea Monsters, Dragons, Psychics and other things I know to be true.
On this day in 1963, the series, "The Outer Limits," debuted on ABC. Listen to the eerie opening of each episode, "There is nothing wrong with your television set."
The late Cliff Robertson stars as a Jerry Lentz-like disc jockey whose radio tower allows a highly dangerous glowing radioactive being to come to Earth.
I am proud to say I know the author of this brilliant work of SciFi! I loved "Starship Intercourse!" I loved the cover with the space helmets and nude bodies. The vacuum of space is okay on bare skin, just keep your head in that glass bubble!
This is a really nice Instructable about a sweet dad that build an Alien costume for his boy real cheap with Dollar Store items! I think it looks pretty good! Pump some smoke in, cover it with KY Jelly, spray it with steam, flashing strobe lights... You can make you own Alien movie! I LOVE it!
JL2 brought me breakfast in bed the other day. If she thinks this will get me to wake up before noon and cook for her... Then she's got another thing... Well, what I was trying to say before I was interrupted; She made this biscuit that looks like a little old wrinkly man I used to know as a kid.
I had been thinking about him the day before and wondered if he was in heaven or had reincarnated. Then the next day I get this biscuit from JL2! I should've saved it, but I buttered it up, dipped it in honey, sopped up some runny fried egg, and he was gooood! Life is so amazing if you stop and look!
I was trying to use hypnosis and the Force on JL2 to get her to do my bidding because I was sitting down reading, but she just smirked and sighed, "Uh huh" and didn't do what I wanted. I said, "Can't you say, 'Yes Master, I will do just as you say?'"
And get this; she looks at me in that distant and vacant way and says, "Yes, Bastard!"
JL2 made an awesome dinner last night, but I've been thinking about it all day today. She made spinach, garlic roasted potatoes and a delicious pork tenderloin! OMG, it was fantastic! Then after we finished she whispered to me, "The dinner was so easy to make, even you could do it." She is trying so hard to get me to cook! I'm not falling for it!
See, I think if I start cooking, she'll just expect me to do it 3 times a day. Then she'll have me doing laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, picking up after myself... It's endless!
Is anyone on here trying that square foot gardening thing, and is it any good? We're gonna have to do it up on our back deck. It's about 10ft off the ground and because we've been caring for deer and feeding them, they'd just think we were growing food for them and eat everything.
Have you seen the Scarlett Johansson nude photos she took of herself with her phone? Why do young girls take nude pictures of themselves when they only fall into the hands of bad boys? They need to realize that I can take those kind of photos for them and keep them safe!
JL2 gave me that one raised eyebrow look, but when I explained how important it is for me that girls feel safe and comfortable with me taking nude photos of them, she loosened her grip on my balls and said, "Sure, I understand perfectly."
We are really good about communicating! That's why I love her so much!
JL2 has been making crafts, painting my basement film studio, and trying to teach me to cook, but I ain't falling for that because I know she just wants me to cook! I know what she's unto! Trying to make doing projects and chores around the house seem fun and sexy… PLEASE!
LOOK at the pic-a-nic basket JL2 refurbished! I wanted to show you as soon as I could how cool this is and how awesome she for doing something like this! She lined the inside with vintage late 50s fabric and painted it! I'm ready to go the park and have cheese and apples and wine! Who's with me?
See, I don't need much in the way of costumes. Give me a wet washcloth and I become... Ming the Mercilentz!
There are so many scifi and horror conventions I want to go to now dressed up in my wet washcloth headwear cosplay.
JL2 painted another in her "Elvis" series of portraits and took it to the local gallery to sell. She's so talented! You have to see these up close because the color and detail is fantastic!
She's working on creating a series of monsters, too. Hammer style stuff, Dracula, Peter Cushing, Oliver Reed... She'll be like the female Basil Gogos besides she already owns a pair of go-go boots!
JL2 has gotten slightly accustom to my habit of taking the MacBook Pro into the bathroom to do work, but she really cringes when I do it at a public restroom.
Sure, I'd go see that movie, "The Help"... if it starred Pam Grier, Tamara Dobson, Carol Speed, Jean Bell and Sasha Grey as the white chick...
This guy was chatting with me and said he was a "Pro Bono Attorney" and I asked if he could get me any U2 autographs, but I doubt if he will.
I tell you what, that Jack De Cat is one crazy kitty! He was yelling at me to come look at something, so I followed him all through the house to his water bowl and he looked at me to say, "Lookz wad Iz did!" And there floating in his water bowl was a giant hairball...
YUK!
Is there a certain age when men should stop wearing briefs? Can old men still look cool wearing briefs? I've never felt good in boxers, but I don't want to look silly being an 80 year old dude wearing my Batman manties.
My friend and technical director of Lentz Industries, Steve Kellener took JL2, ESP and me on a walking tour via Skype and iPad through the new state of the art Hollywood animation studio where some of the most artistically innovative and culturally significant flickering cartoon picture shows are being produced. Titmouse!
I always wanted to be an animator and it's my dream to have a scary and funny TV show and do it at the Titmouse Studios! If you make a wish for me, maybe it can come true! Wishes are after all, dreams your heart makes... Or is it dreams are wishes your heart... Just wish me luck, for crying out loud! I made this! I drew it! Now praise me!
Looks like JL2 and I had our 1st big argument! She raised her voice and pointed her finger at me with powerful thrusts! Maybe you can show her I'm right by siding with me. She says people like Jeff Koons, Mark Kostabi, Damien Hirst, or Marcel Duchamp... Are not true artists when they have others create their work. I disagree with her!
Now can someone please explain to her why I'm right!
My old ball and chain (JL2) dragged me out of bed at 9AM (!!!) to go to a bunch of hillbilly yard sales. I had things to do! Like what? None of your business! This is not what I thought married life as gonna be.
What should I do?
Well we're back and it turned out GREAT!!!
This may have been the best day I've had in a long time! The very 1st yard sale we hit was fantastic! Great stuff, way cheap! We loaded up. Even the 2nd yard sale was awesome! It turned out to be the perfect day. We found deal after deal. I don't know why I was even fighting it this morning? I had a blast! The day went way too fast!
JL2 is a medical transcriptionist who collects automatic speech recognition cockups and one that stands out is, "...she removed the bandage and a lot of puss came out." However, it typed, "...she removed the bandage and a lot of pasta came out."
We went to the Farmer's Co-op and got a 25 pound block, deer molasses lick with a blend of vitamins, essential minerals, micro minerals, milo, corn, soybeans, cottonseed meal, molasses and apple. That deer with the broken leg is out back right now licking like there's no tomorrow! I hope she feels better!
Dang! This stuff makes me queasy! I just hate seeing animals hurt! I don't know why I'm like this?
Looking online, a deer with a broken leg is way more common than I had believed. I've seen this deer for maybe 3 months now and it has had that strange limp before it got close enough for me to see.
One positive that just happened was the appearance of a new group of deer that hopefully could take the two babies if she happens to die. They seem to have one young deer with them. She LOVED the deer lick we put out, so maybe her milk will pass on some goodness to her young.
On this date 45 years ago (I hadn't been born yet, but thankfully there was syndication) came the greatest TV series ever made! (up there with The Sopranos, The Simpsons, The Hills...) To celebrate this important date, JL2 and I are wearing our Star Trek bathrobes my technical advisor, Steve Kellener had Bill Theiss, the costume designer for Star Trek make for our Wedding. I found this surprising since Bill died in 1992, but I let it go. I made sure JL2 made me a beneficiary on her insurance before wearing the red robe.
Heard a woman in line tell the checkout clerk at WalMart, "Oh, I wish they'd move 9/11 to Monday so we could have a 3 Day Weekend."
No one even seemed to find that statement odd other than me.
I vacuumed old dried cat vomit and cat poop off a couch that needs major reupholstering! I wonder if the owner used the cat's litter box to do his business? Nasty! I think animals need to be free, but not free to poop on couches!
Think it was yesterday I was talking about a deer that lives in the woods behind us that has a mangled leg and everyone was so kind and helpful. I thought I'd show you the mommy and her two babies.
There is a group of deer that live in our back property. I always thought the mother walked funny, but just the other day I noticed her leg bending funny. She might have been hit by a car or caught in a trap or bite by a dog. I want to do something for her, but I know she's been this way for some time. If I can keep a little food, corn, water... Just make her life a bit better and better for her babies without them getting to comfortable around humans.
On September 7, 1927 inventor Philo T. Farnsworth and assistants successfully transmitted the first all-electronic television image. How do you feel about TV now?
You know my silly friend Jack De Cat? Get a load of this; He was being fussy to me because I didn't change the "old" water in his water dish to "new" water fast enough for him, and this feral cat we love named, "Cow-Cat" is at the door meowing in that high-pitched, arrested development, baby voice that manipulatively compels one to do her bidding, so I take a bowl of food out to her and Jack De Cat angrily jumps up, gets all in my face and meows, "What the fuck, man? Are you giving her my FOOD?"
At the Goodwill store I found a set of those Mormon Super Undergarments that will protect you from all kinds of freaky apocalypses, so I thought hard about buying them, but noticed they couldn't even repel sweat stains and skid marks for the previous owner.
I've been all excited these last few weeks because I heard the band, Rush was gonna be in concert next month and I thought I might actually go, so I call to buy tickets and it turns out to be some Jesus band called, Rush of Fools, for Christ's sake! The asshat on the phone kept trying to sell me the tickets anyway, by saying, "You'll probably love the music, 'cause they got guitars! What difference does it make?" Can you imagine?
Only cool people that will better my life and career should add me, please! I have a "family" and an active alternative lifestyle that needs continuous funding, so if you don't have the dough to bring me to a higher tax bracket and support my ever increasing debt producing hobbies... Oh alright, just add me!
I had a little one my parents bought for me when I was a child, but one day they said it had left for a vacation. My mom eventually, (when I was 19) told me she flushed it down the toilet. I wanted so bad for it to come back and see me. I loved it!
When I was little my mom and dad, when we lived in Florida had a bad run in with a group of crocs. Mom was lucky not to have been eaten alive.
They were camping in and around some lagoon they loved and mom had left the food supplies and stuff on their folding table and she stepped out to get the stuff without looking first and she was surrounded by crocodiles. There was even on under the steps that she just walked off of. She said she just started throwing the food and a feeding frenzy began all around her and she jumped over one and leaped into the camper.
Just checked the mailbox to find the latest issue of Video☆WatcHDog #164 and was happily surprised by the amount of nudity it had, but saddened by how little I am mentioned.
If you are an editor, writer, or work classifieds in print media, I am available for interviews, cover stories and centerfolds.
Ever try scrubbing a dirty stain off your skin, again and again, but it just won't come off, then you realize it's a bruise? Now you have raw and bruised skin!
Eddie Murphy is gonna host the Oscars? And with Brett Ratner producing that means look for an appearance by Roman Polanski! Who would you like to see host, living or dead?
It is rainy and cold! Dang, is winter here already?
Are you an animal lover? I am, and if you can help me with a problem, I'd really appreciate it. I've been feeding a mommy deer and two lil' babies for a few months. I had noticed she walked kinda funny, but just a few minutes ago was the first time I could see her head on and sadly her right front leg is deformed, either from birth, or most likely by a car. If I call animal control, they'll just shoot her... Help! She has babies to feed!
I don't know what to do! Should she be tranquilized and her leg re-broken and set? How do I get that done without people meddling in my business?
I was so upset about the deer, I got sick. I know that's weird, but I did. JL2 tried to calm me down by giving me drugs and suggested we watch a film together and boy was it a great one! Check out my New Film Blog to find out what it was!
Here's a still from the New horror film I'm working on called, "The Cycle" I can't wait for you to see it! The entire cast and crew were so worn out from the shoot when this publicity photo was taken. The water wheel scene is especially shocking and I don't think it's ever been done in cinema the way we're doing it. Hope you will like it!
What favorite line from what favorite movie are you going to perform for my camera? Okay, once more with feeling and could you say it while you slowly remove your clothing? I mean costume, of course. Now, from the top! Action!
Have you been to my film blog? Why not? Go there and start following it! Stop being a lurker and start being a participant!
I got the News that an adult film performer who tested positive for HIV, causing the porno industry to shut down has been retested and the performer does not have the virus after all, but I will continue to play it safe as I watch porn by masturbating while wearing a rubber.
You may think I'm a goober, but better to be a safe goober than loser goober with peculiar tumor on my super skewer!
Thank you, Bank of America! Even though I closed out my account with you long ago, you are kind enough to send me daily Banking Alerts to tell me the amount in my nonexistent account is $0.00. That is some service!
My niece's boy is in Kindergarden and his school is strict. So he got in trouble when he pointed his hand shaped as a gun, but later when he had been a good boy all week the teacher let him and other "good" children reach into a toy box and pull out a toy to keep. Guess what toys were available to choose? Army men with machine guns, cowboys with pistols, and Policemen with handguns...
What kinda message is that?
I guess what I'm saying is, if you are gonna punish a child for pretending he has a gun in his hand on the playground, don't reward him with a toy gun for being good.
Speaking of pretending; If you model or act and you're on Model Mayhem and you are interesting in performing in my upcoming films, please send me a link to your photos and stats.
My eye is feeling better! Seems the pain and sensitivity was a result of the large amounts of various antibiotics I was ingesting. A few days after the prescriptions ended the sensitivity to light on my flesh and pain in my eye faded. When I was posting photos on Facebook of my heroes that had worn an eyepatch people wanted to know about Nicholas Ray, who I included in the pics. Well, here's a nice overview of the man.
I got the News that an adult film performer who tested positive for HIV, causing the porno industry to shut down has been retested and the performer does not have the virus after all, but I will continue to play it safe as I watch porn by masturbating while wearing a rubber.
Today an old woman told me about her grandchild who was texting a post on FB and fell down the stairs at his college and broke an ankle because he wasn't watching where he was going. "These children have no idea the danger the Internet and technology is!"
On September 3, 2007 that adventurer Steve Fossett vanished after taking off on a solo flight over the Nevada desert.
It was on this day in 1976, the Viking 2 spacecraft landed at Utopia Planitia on Mars and sent back the first close-up, color images of the planet's surface.
I hope they finally get this bastard and make him pay!
I've tried raising funds for my film projects through Indie-gogo, Kickstarter and other crowdfunding things, and some wonderful people did support me, but now I need some finishing funds for various projects and I was wondering; What kind of incentive would you need to actually send me $10-$20-$50-$100? Credit? Gifts? A role? What would get you to actually do it in these hard times?
I can't wait! Watch the awesome trailer inside the link!
Curt Siodmak who wrote Donovan's Brain, The Lady and the Monster, The Brain, Earth vs. the Flying Saucers, I Walked With a Zombie, The Beast With Five Fingers and The Wolf Man died on this date in 2000. How will you honor this man and his work today?
I was flipping through channels and stopped on a really old movie where there were a bunch of teen girls gathered around talking on an old crank telephone at a general store and I thought to myself that nothing has really changed because it looked just like the girls that hang out at the Apple Store.
It's confirmed! I have dementia or something! I was making a PB&J. I smeared the peanut butter on the bread the way I love it, thick. Then I scooped up some jelly on the knife and slathered it on. I slapped the bread together and took a big bite... WHAT? I just took a bite out of a Peanut Butter and Salsa Sandwich!!!
OMG!!! Not what I was expecting!
I need to lie down for a while.
In the NEWS a man was stopped at an airport when imaging scans revealed a rare snake hidden in his trousers. I swear, if I had a dollar for every time the TSA pulled me aside thinking I was smuggling a snake in my pants.
Did you know that deep inside the Trinity atomic bomb there was a jar containing a fetus conceived by Marjorie Cameron and Jack Parsons, a founder of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory and the Aerojet Corp?
Now that you've have this knowledge how does it affect you?
Eisenhower's nightmare became America's reality. The military-industrial complex runs America, owns its media and politicians, and needs to be stopped.
I thought I heard Jack De Cat whining so being a concerned friend I looked for him, but he was fine, all perched on his window seat. Walking back to my laptop I discovered the whining sound to be my belly digesting the two bowls of Raisin Bran® cereal.
Dang, I wish you could lay your head on my big fat soft floppy gut and hear my baby kickin'! I have major gas! I could power a rocket!
"Kick the tires and light the fires!"
I feel like I drank a liter of Pepsi and swallowed a handful of Mentos.
Ladies, when your man is trying to please you sexually and he asks if there is anything new you'd like to try that no other man has done for you, but that you've wanted to try, don't answer with, "Yes, but first let me take a Gas-X ® !"
I thought my nose was so stopped up that the nasal spray I was repeatedly pumping like a battering ram wasn't able to make its way to the clogged drains, but it turned out I forgot to twist the lid of the bottle. Live and learn.
JL2 strenuously suggested I use Crest® Whitestrips. My smile doesn't have that Turtle Wax Shine anymore. She's embarrassed being she's such a young wife and me being feeble and sickly looking when we're at one of her friend's cocktail parties. Few nights ago, fell asleep with the strips in and accidentally swallowed them. I was worried, but it turned into a blessing because now I won't need that anal bleaching!
JL2 and ESP (formerly E13) love making those cakes in a mug and brownies in a mug, but they say, "Jerry, one cup is enough!"
So the jokes on them, because I got a ceramic 130oz. size coffee mug! I can't wait to see the look on their faces when I say, "Here's my cup! Now make my cake!"
Now JL2 and ESP are on this Frito Pie kick! My brother loves them. Have you ever had one? It's basically Fritos with chili and cheese. How whiskey tango can you get? I think it smells like feet and ass whenever I'm near someone eating it.
