The World Famous Jerry Lentz

2012-01-16T17:02:00.000-08:00

JL2 got me a book about Jimi Hendrix, because she knows how much I love his guitar playing! She said, "I hope this helps you, but please, no playing the guitar with your teeth!"

Whenever I read out loud the cats gather 'round to listen no matter where I am.

I just watched an old BBC documentary narrated by Slash, it was really good!

I've gotten so many comments on this photo, people must really love Jimi Hendrix!

2012-01-15T14:48:00.000-08:00

JL2 is painting a portrait of a really sweet movie star and wonderful Facebook friend, can you tell, from this blurry photo and canvas wet with paint, who this is?

Okay, this is the beautiful Jewel Shepard! Jessica (JL2) wanted to make something Jewel can keep or sell, maybe Del Howison could sell for her. She needs all the help she can get, so if anyone wants to help out. Let Del, Jewel, or Jessica know!

You can contact Dark Delicacies!

2012-01-14T13:40:00.000-08:00

I ran a bath for JL2 and brought her some coffee. I asked her if she liked the bubble bath I bought and she said, "Can you get me some half and half cream, baby?"

So I went and opened a carton and when I came back in she was busy writing and I didn't want to disturb her, so I just poured the carton into the bath and she screamed, "NOT in the bath! In my coffee!"

I didn't know, 'cause I had been talking about the bath. She said it was expensive, but now she loves the way her skin feels!

2012-01-13T16:29:00.000-08:00

Mankind faces nuclear armageddon and must build colonies on Mars and beyond, Stephen Hawking has said.

JL2 and I were talking about this and terraforming and she asked me, "What planet would you like to colonize?"

So I said, "I'd like to try Uranus."

She said, "I bet you would, but that ain't happening!"

2012-01-12T13:23:00.000-08:00

I was playing Alien Chess earlier while eating a bowl of noodles when all of the sudden I started having chest pains! I thought it might be msg or too much sodium, a heart attack, maybe even gas... It felt like something was trying to burst it's way out of my ribcage! Turned out I just needed to poop really bad!

And kids, this is where babies come from!

2012-01-11T16:19:00.000-08:00

Can you guess what song I'm playing in this picture? Here's a few hints; It has an icon guitar riff and sound and makes young girls in their 20s, 30s and 40s swoon! Oh, and it came out when music really said something and meant something, but only cool people dug it.

2012-01-10T14:05:00.000-08:00

Isn't weird when someone says they love you and want to spend all their time with you, but you say, "Let's live in separate houses, or at least in different rooms, because I snore!" And they go, "I don't care I love you and want to be with you!" So once you are together and some time has passed they begin saying things like, "Jesus Christ! Can you stop snoring! For the love of all that is Holy, if you don't shut the hell up and let me sleep, I swear to God I will smother you with your own pillow!"

Funny, where'd that love go?

2012-01-09T13:01:00.000-08:00

PROOF that flying saucers are real! This is where science is magic!

2012-01-08T15:59:00.000-08:00

I saw this at a thrift store yesterday. I thought about getting it, but I had such an uneasy feeling when I saw it.

2012-01-07T15:55:00.000-08:00

I've been drawing quite a bit since I got a new stylus for the MacBook Pro trackpad, and I love it! JL2 was so kind to model for me! I'm not very good, yet, but I'll get better and better as time goes on. I have a lot to learn drawing on a computer.

Her arms are that high up, when she's chained to the wall of the basement.

2012-01-06T01:00:00.001-08:00

With our new metal detector I found what I thought was a civil war sword, but in fact it is part of a plow. I dug it up this afternoon! Very exciting! It's iron from Lynchburg Plow Works dated 1896. How cool is that! When I was walking the property, every couple of paces, I'd get a sharp signal of some metal. It was just too cold to dig. I know there's a chest of gold hidden out there!

I sure could use some old forgotten gold, silver, cash...

Some women just love giving me things! Today a very nice lady gave me a Bell & Howell Super 8mm movie camera! The best part was the cool leather carrying case. I can put booze in there!

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2012-01-05T01:05:00.000-08:00

Fairly certain this mirror will be on my album cover!

This is a cut from the soundtrack for my film, "The Cycle," a psychological thriller/horror film. I composed this in such a unique way that I believe I will continue using this somewhat experimental formula. I was highly influenced by John Corigliano's work with Ken Russell on "Altered States" and the use of unconventional instruments to create sound/music. To learn more visit me: https://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz

I hope you enjoy, however, it's not "happy" music.

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I got back the translation of my dictation and none of it is what I said, but damn, it's cool

2012-01-04T15:55:00.001-08:00

"The ghosts in the house were waiting. They knew someone would come to them. Ghosts mean us no harm. They're never warm. You can see through ghosts like I can see through you. Him, him, him, him, him, him, he's the only one you think about, but I have friends and the pipes have frozen. This group's got your shit possessed, but there's more, isn't there? The gaping void where your sad soul sat. This and that be held close and over flame in dreams. The skeleton in you is a rattling. On the part of the brain that hallucinates, they speak to you in squeals like nails on a chalkboard and nails in the coffin of someone breathing in the dark of the box. If the cats see you wanting, and the half body gliding down the darkened hallway, they will know and judge with their eyes. The spark of his blood glitters the stairs. The knife shining in the light of the moon frozen above my neck like a dead star. The cries buried in whispers seep through the garden like
murmurs sifting through the rib cage. The slim candle flickers after flame, beats in the night wind and tries to snuff it out. The machinery of the old wheelchair is faulty with crumbling dark red rust, and screeches like rats burrowing their way to the soft brain through the eye sockets, reaching for warmth. It's a difficult way to grieve in the murky water, breath barely held as he fights to hold her golden haired head under the stagnant water of the garden pond. Dead leaves litter like skeletons of ships and decomposing hands and the water bugs skim the surface reflection. Black tadpoles silhouetted by the pale skin of her thin nude body swim, bloated and ill with plague these sick swollen sperm that are curiously investigating her body. There's a light in the window of the locked room in the attic. Something deformed looked out at me."

Weird, right?

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Jerry, Jerry, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

2012-01-03T20:45:00.001-08:00

It's a Winter Window Garden started in the kitchen! We'll see if the deer will jump up this high to eat it! Got Spagetti Squash, Zucchini, Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Egg Plant, Watermelon and Honey Dew! Now if I could only grow mushrooms and weed, but I just don't know where to get seeds!

It's great here! We got a new metal detector for xmas and I've found what we hope might be a civil war sword buried in the backyard! We have only uncovered about 12 inches of blade, before it got too cold.

I hope to find a box of gold, too!

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CrapBook Pro

2012-01-02T19:18:00.001-08:00

Dang! I need to keep the office closed to kitties! One of them pooped on my laptop! GROSS! The heat of the MacBook acted like an Easy-Bake Oven and turned the droppings into something not unlike the texture of a piping fresh oatmeal cookie, hard on the outside and gooey on the inside. I bet it tastes like shit, though! Them kittens are too young to know that was a wrong thing to do, so neither of them look guilty.

But I will get my revenge!

One of my favorite radio dramas was a version of, "The Tunnel Under the World" by Frederik Pohl, and tonight, unable to sleep even though heavily medicated with sleep inducing drugs, I found in my collection of books a copy of "Simulacron-3" by Daniel F. Galouye. While reading it, I was surprised how similar it was, so after I was done, I looked online to see whose work was first, it was Pohl's, but the more interesting fact was "Simulacron-3" is what, "Welt am Draht" by Rainer Werner Fassbinder is based on. Now I need to see it!

Went to look at an old tractor the other day. I'd really like to have an old time one. This one was probably from the 17th century and the farmer told me, "It still runs, but it's old and it shuffles like an old man. It threw one of it's coils out, but it ran like a dream."

I laughed and said, "Ay, there's the rub. For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, when we have shuffled off this mortal coil."

He squinted his eyes and stared, then said, "You ain't one of them queers are ya?"

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Start of something very similar...

2012-01-01T18:08:00.001-08:00

...but kind of the same.

I haven't written anything in a while here. I've spent most of my time on Facebook. I did participate in the National Novel Writing Month event where you have 30 days to finish a 50,000 word novel. I reached my goal in 7 fun filled days. Now I'm thinking I'll try to write a novel every week.

Starting today; I'm writing one (50,000 + word) book a week! Exercise daily! Get the garden going! Start back to blogging! Start back to podcasting! Learn guitar! Learn hypnosis! Paint more! Build projects! Start acting workshop back up and MAKE MOVIES!!! We can do it!!!

Dexter de Cat (See above photo) was helping me write. He's a very helpful boy! He has lots of great ideas, he loves a good story with a chase, like the one about him chasing ladybugs, chasing his sister Marcelline de Cat's tail and the high tech spy thriller involving him chasing the dot of a red laser.

Thanks for your continued support,
Jerry

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I want to shut my eyes and sleep it all away in a dreamless coma!

2011-10-08T16:11:00.001-07:00

I'm touched by all the personal messages people are posting about what Steve Jobs meant to them. People that weren't even Mac users seem to get how he changed the world. I remember when people told me how they felt when Disney died, or FDR, or John Lennon, or JFK...

I was so depressed, but reading his quotes and the lovely comments from the people touch by his work has somehow filled me with a kind of joy. Isn't that strange?

I was just informed me that the assholes at the Westboro Baptist Church announced plans to protest at Steve Jobs's funeral. Why can't "Anonymous" do something about them?

What a GREAT time I had last night! JL2 bought a brand new mower that turned out to be 50% off!!! Couldn't believe the luck on that! Then she bought a skill saw that we've really needed! She also bought strings for the electric guitar and a cord to the amp! Oh, I had the best club sandwich I've ever had, and it was like two meals, because I ate half and got full, so into a box went the other half that became my midnight snack! It was like the best day EVER!!!

Then…

I knew the wonderful feelings I was having last night would have to be ground down and chiseled away today. I'm just not strong enough to keep trying to get along with assholes.

BTW, I spell assholes, c. u. n. t. s!

Enjoying today's chore of unfriending Conservatives, Teabaggers, Christians, Sunnis, Shias, Sikhs, Hillbillies, Meanies, Thugs, Terrorists, Gangstas, Oil Industry Employees, Banking Industry Employees, Monsanto Employees, Halliburton Employees, General Electric Employees, Publishers that ripoff writers, and people that use interns for free labor only! If you are any of these please unfriend me now!

It appears Sarah Palin might be under investigation for soliciting contributions under the guise of a possible run for the presidency when money was probably laundered through a cross-country family vacation. This might be getting good!

JK Rowling is one of over 60 people lining up to expose the truth and sue Fox News owner Rupert Murdoch's other fake news provider, the now defunct paper, "News of the World". I can't wait until Fox News also shuts down.

Two News items; Want the Good News or the Bad News first? "Male Circumcision Is Medically Beneficial, Experts Say" and "Research Reveals Oral Sex May Be Leading Cause of Mouth and Throat Cancers" Just when I thought I was getting ahead by being married, these doctors have to go shooting their mouths off and jerking me around emotionally. This News SUCKS!

YOU have to WATCH this video right NOW!!! It is life changing! Pass this on to all your friends and family!

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2011-10-07T15:29:00.000-07:00

Doing all we can to support our local Occupy Wall Street protests, i.e. Nashville and Huntsville... Even Jack De Cat got involved, but he is so lazy he wouldn't get up to do anything but chew up his little protest sign. Slacker!

Because we think ecologically and try our best to live a "Green" lifestyle and reduce are carbon footprint, we're letting our lawn grow tall and then cut it to make alcohol in my still. We burn the alcohol in the generator to make electricity. All the energy is collected in batteries that also store the power from our windmill, our watermill, our methane generator and a small amount of solar. The solar is mainly used to separate hydrogen from water. My Honda Civic will soon run on hydrogen. I'm starting to grow weed to make clothing and brownies... I forgot the rest of what I was telling you…

This is so sad... One of the people that has changed my life is so many ways has died.

2011-10-06T20:20:00.000-07:00

When I was about 12 years old my doctors, therapists, and counselors had Mensa contact my mother for a meeting in a big house. I took some tests and then a group of people met with her and for some reason they made her upset, so we left. I never knew what happened but I believe money was involved. Now whenever I have the need for nixtamalized corn flour, I think of what could have been.

If you have a Pole Dancing Video, please send yours to Jerry Lentz to see if you can win!

For some reason I have this strange tingling feeling all over my body. I've had it for the last few days. The bed seems to be spinning. It's another night of not sleeping. I'm sure I'll be sleepy today. Please make me feel better.

2011-10-05T15:01:00.000-07:00

This sure is frightening! Need your help! As you know, I've been watching one or more movies a day for this website. However, I don't have cable, dish, Netflix, or even a tee vee... I've been watching films online, or borrowing DVDs to watch on my MacBook. So, I need you to post a film you think I should watch that is available on the web! Make it a good one!

http://1filmaday.blogspot.com/

Look at that girl above! Did this young girl wreck the economy? Did she steal your money? Did she not pay taxes because her lawyer found a loophole? Did she foreclose on your house? Why is she being arrested for participating in her legal right to peacefully protest? Our nation's founders declared their independence on July 4, 1776, to break free of the tyranny of a nation that denied them the civil liberties that they believed all people were granted as a birthright. They reaffirmed that faith in independence from governmental tyranny with the ratification of the Bill of Rights in 1791. But Freedom cannot survive when those in power make exceptions to the First Amendment for speech they dislike or criticism they would rather not hear. FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS NOW!

Now what have those dumb shits have to say about that!

2011-10-04T14:57:00.000-07:00

That tee vee show, "The Playboy Club" got cancelled? Dang! I didn't even get to see it? I haven't even seen the magazine in years. I picked up a couple of issues that promoted that show for something like 60¢ a few weeks back and I still haven't even looked at them.

Amanda Knox just got offered $1 Million to pose nude! What a welcome home treat! Haven't heard what magazine, yet. Anyone know?

Can you find the old Drive-In Movie Theatre you used to go to in these old newspaper ads, or hear the local radio station you used to listen to when you were young? Did you see any of these films? What's your best drive-in movie memory?

Last Train to Lentzville!

2011-10-03T15:33:00.001-07:00

Please come and visit it online! Five beautiful acres teeming with a multitude of inspiring subjects waiting and ready to become the next global art star. Nestled upon the highest point of foggy valley and surrounded by a dark forest, bubbling creek, eerie creatures, glowing eyes, and slithering reptiles, this lil' shoppe is a factory of ideas and handmade goodness. The craftsman and artisans are never satisfied until your wonderful purchase arrives safely to your home. They are also eager and willing to provide you with custom and commissioned art work, please message us. We love to talk while we make things!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/JerryLentz?ref=pr_shop#

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2011-10-02T15:14:00.000-07:00

JL2 has been doing my genealogy and from that we found a long line of navy men, submariners, ship captains, and other kinds of semen...

This is my great-great-great-grand pappy who suffered from something called paraphilic infantilism, but back then they just called it, "poopy-pants," and with that he took over as cap'n of a ship and later died of dysentery on the Pacific island of Nauru.

I dunno, he looks a lot like me. Maybe I should dress up as him for Halloween.

I feel like a tool!

2011-10-01T14:58:00.001-07:00

I used to have quite a nice collection of tools! I had power tools, tools for precision work, tools for specific and delicate crafts, but when I moved I gave them all away. Why? I just thought I had no need to ever use them again. I had no idea what was just around the corner.

Now I have the space for a movie studio, so I need to build props and sets and rigs to hold lights…

I need to build frames and stretch canvases for JL2 paintings.

There's so much to do, but I haven't any tools or supplies or lumber, yet.

Feel awful today! So you know what to do; You are my medicine, make me feel better! My throat and sinuses closed up and I've been having these really horrible coughing spells. The wind has been blowing, there was a fire down the street, the field across from the house was bush-hogged... Just so many reasons for me to be inhaling particles. I even got out the Neti pot.

Please make me feel better!

ESP, JL2's 13 year old kid came in my room and said, "We saw a UFO flying over Nashville today!"

I asked her to describe it and she said, "It was round and shiny black and it reflected the ground under it."

Did you take a picture of it?

"No."

Did you have your camera?

"Yeah."

You didn't think to take a photo?

"Uh, no."

Why?

"Because mom and I both saw it with our own eyes!"

Ugh...

JL2 and ESP went yard-sailing and they got me 2 DVDs "Closer" and "In the Bedroom" 2 films I like a lot.

It was my intention to start another fast this month, but feeling this way kinda made that look like an awful idea, so JL2 made me Angel Biscuits, Chicken Salad and Grape Salad... and it was GOOOOOOD!

Oh, and for dessert Peanut Butter Cup Cheesecake? Uhhhh....

OMG! I can't believe I was thinking of fasting this month!

Cauterize this passion with a blood red kiss!

2011-09-30T00:33:00.001-07:00

Searching for Halloween ideas JL2 was contacting a costume shop that we're gonna visit tomorrow and the proprietor was describing the place and what they sold when suddenly she said, "By the way, I Gay!"

JL2 didn't know what to make of that. Like why did that make a difference? The conversation ended and JL2 looked up the website and read that the owners NAME was "Gay!"

Can't sleep, so I thought I'd watch my wife sleep for a while. I love the way she looks when she sleeps. She's so peaceful, so beautiful, just an innocent angel. She has a slight smile and a relaxed look on her face. She's so tired from a long day of work there's no way she'll wake up when I carefully undress her and take nude photos.

Shhh... Don't tell her.

This is to repay her for this!

http://jerrylentz.blogspot.com/2011/09/im-so-upset-jl2-replaced-my-regular.html

It's a fact, people are loving her paintings that you see above! She's already sold a few, so if you know someone that wants one, they better hurry and look at this!

http://www.etsy.com/listing/82826801/hand-painted-icons-of-horror-portrait

2011-09-29T01:11:00.000-07:00

Visit the #1 portfolio for photos by Jerry Lentz and professional models. If you are interested in modeling for him, (erotic, fetish, nude...) please contact and send your best photos here.

2011-09-28T17:21:00.000-07:00

I'm so upset!!! JL2 replaced my regular Magnum XXL Condoms with Red Star Quick-Rise Yeast! She just doesn't trust me and I suppose she'd like to cause the other girl to get a yeast infection!

She said, "Just trying to get a rise outta ya!"

Hmmm!

Scary Art!

2011-09-27T23:00:00.001-07:00

I swear, I tried to wait! I just have to show you JL2 at work on a fantastic new icon portrait! JL2 is even using her finger on her! You can see she's wet! Can you tell me who she's painted and what film this is from?

I used to be such a fan of his as a kid! Frank Frazetta was the man! He dominated the fantasy art genre and my young life with images of savage warriors, curvaceous slave women and buxom princesses, alien creatures... My walls were covered with his work!

http://1filmaday.blogspot.com/2011/09/frazetta-painting-with-fire.html

We have ocean acidification, ocean dead zones, garbage patches, hole in the ozone layer, numerous species no longer exist due to overhunting and overfishing, so it is completely laughable when you hear political boobs say that, "...man cannot impact the environment!"

http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2011/09/cia-classifies-global-warming-intell...

‎"Your phasers are useless against my panty-shields!" Overheard that today at Kroger from two silly sisters that giggled and ran when they noticed me in the aisle looking for suppositories that might possibly fit into the barrel of the NERF Longstrike Sniper Rifle. I'm making a film that needs this as a prop! That's why!

On this date in 1964 the 888-page findings on JFK's death by the Warren Commission declared Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. Do you believe that?

I never wanted to have kids!

2011-09-26T19:01:00.001-07:00

I never wanted to have kids!

They are selfish, stubborn, gross, messy, noisy, stinky… But this little baby stole my heart today! He has a cute and deep lil' voice that sounds all gravely and coarse. I like that!

Is it fair when you have to watch the crap a 13 year old girl wants to watch, but she doesn't have the common decency to watch the crap I want to watch? It's NOT fair!!!

I'll show her! I'm gonna pout all night! And maybe tomorrow, too!

Looking to make a big change in my life! If facebook can change, so can I.

Talked with a friend about, "potential" and I said, "'Potential' just means you ain't worth a shit now." She got the saddest look on her face.

Next week starts National Breast Cancer Awareness Month (NBCAM) anyone know any cool things going on? Remember a couple of years ago when all those cartoonists got together and used pink ink? I thought that was pretty cool.

Got online but haven't found any really interesting things like that going on. About 10 years ago I learned how to perform breast exams, so I might offer my services free of charge! I discovered that the tongue is really sensitive and babies use their mouths to feel shapes and learn about form, so figured the best way for me to do the breast exams is with my mouth. I know what you're thinking… Yes, I will do it for free, because I'm selfless! Oh, and No, I will not check the prostate, or look for testicular cancer using the same technique, because I just happen to be busy on those months.

HORRIBLE!!! I bit into a plump and juicy sausage link this morning, the kind that the insides where slightly less hotter than the surface of the sun, and it squirted its scalding grease straight up into my nostril and down the back of my throat!!! I panicked, struggling to find a tissue as my sinuses boiled and blistered to riotous offstage laughter from a friend that just moments before I had believed I loved more than anything in the whole wide world.

Sad.

My day was ruined.

Come and smoke my peace pipe!

2011-09-25T21:58:00.001-07:00

Looking to make a big change in my life! If facebook can change, so can I.

Watched some WikiLeaks videos... Not a good way to spend a beautiful sunday.

Watched, "The Lion King" for the first time, and is it just me or does Scar come across as kinda gay? I said I thought he was, but someone got upset and said he fathers a kid in part 2. I tried to tell her that even Nathan Lane has kids.

I currently live with two girls that are always cold. They wear coats around the house all the time. I start sweating when the temps hit 58° and continue on up until death occurs at around 90° so I'm miserable when they are comfortable. My body engine is steam driven and my brain has high voltage electricity arcing in a halo.

Native Americans fear me.

They say, "You have a spirit from the 5th World inside that no man or animal can see without death..."

An Enlightened Master is ideal only if your goal is to become a Benighted Slave - Robert Anton Wilson

2011-09-24T18:17:00.001-07:00

The State Department estimates that there are 27 million slaves globally. How many slaves are working on your behalf?

http://chainstorereaction.com/home/

My dad said he had kids because remote controls hadn't been invented then.

We laugh and joke while 27 million suffer...

http://m.clip4e.com/play_clip_na_orion_slave_girls_ot_star_trek_enterprise.htm

If I only had one dollar to help all those people, I'd be a 27 million dollaire! I need to start a charity! For every $2 you send me, I'll give one dollar to a slave!

You always hear about some mentally unstable veteran shooting people, but where are the wackos when ya need them to destroy the Westboro Baptist Church at 3701 W. 12th Street in Topeka, KS? If there was a way to collect a fund to do something like that...

After all the military funerals they've protested, all the children, friends and family members they've hurt...

Aren't there some warriors and military experts out there that could get the job done? Uh, if only...

Hmmm... Can't some Navy Seal Ninja type sneak in and get 'er done?

Okay, how about if this covert operation is made to look like an accident? Ah Ha!

I think this would make a good book! Army buddies go to bury the fallen war hero friend and encounter protesters at the funeral, they see the damage it's causing the window and their kids...

Then it's action time!

Don't take my candy!

2011-09-22T05:22:00.001-07:00

I was just wanting to show you the new Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkin things because of Halloween coming up and then JL2 had to grab them! I tried to tell her I was just showing y'all what I'm hooked on now, but she seems to think I was gonna eat them! She hid them so I can't find them! I think that's rude!

And it's rude to you, too!

Going through my movie stuff for a possible Halloween Film Festival and started watching some Juan Piquer Simon. This is a very nice documentary! And check out the trailer for "Pieces" too! Dang!

JL2's New paintings are a SCREAM!!!

2011-09-21T12:09:00.001-07:00

I just couldn't wait to show you how artistically talented my sweet and beautiful baby is! JL2 has a great eye! Two eyes, actually! (What did you do to his eyes?) I wish you could see them in person, they look fantastic!! JL2 is showering now after going crazy with her talent tonight! There's paint everywhere and it looks like blood (Oh the blood, Mother!) and when she was washing her hands it was spiraling down the drain! Can you tell me who this is in these two paintings JL2 did? You know you want one, or even two!

I sure hope this isn't a sign that I'm getting close to the age where one might find themselves almost nearing or being... Old. Ever go to the bathroom, do your business, go to the trouble of wiping, shaking it all dry, even going the extra mile to wash your hands and spray air-freshener, then as you're drying your hands on a towel you suddenly feel that rumble in your belly that tells you that you need to go poop again? Ugh!

I was brushing my teeth with my Reach toothbrush after dinner and trying to sing "Sexy Boy" by Air at the same time, so my hand got covered with slippery toothpaste foam and the handle slid out of my grip and went deep into my throat and as I reached in for it I misjudged because of watching the action in the mirror and accidentally pushed the brush further past my gag reflex and THAT, ladies and gentlemen is how I became a supermodel!!!

‎Jack De Cat is looking at his reflection in the big mirror we got at the Fire Dept sale, that JL2 is restoring to its gothic splendor, and Jack is all confused by the pretty cat he sees but can't smell.

It must be blowing his lil' mind.

I hate when Youtube posts awesome and teasingly enticing channels they believe I should watch in the "Recommended Channels" sidebar only to cockblock me with, "This channel is not available in your country." Why post it then, assholes?

I was reading about a friend and his 15 year old daughter spotted Tori Amos and how his daughter went wild. He walked her over and asked for an autograph and while Amos was signing it, the girl said, "I just love you on Doctor Who! What is Matt Smith like?"

The father was so embarrassed, but Tori Amos just laughed it off and said, "I love Doctor Who, too!"

How cool that she didn't spoil it for the girl!

I was saddened to discover that Cameron Crowe's “Pearl Jam Twenty” tribute in honor of their 20th anniversary this year, didn't contain one mention of me or my film, "Angry Blue Planet" even though they did in two other biographies on the band.

I don't get it, Cameron Crowe has always been nice to me, too.

I was still talking about finally watching, "Finding Nemo" and the photo I posted on Facebook of, "Finding Nimoy" then my friend, Steve Kellener says, "Finding Emo - about a little goth fish." JL2 says, how about, "Finding Chemo - about a sick fish in a polluted and carcinogenic ocean." We laughed, then it got real quiet.

Too quiet, actually.

Sprocket holes made by my fangs help you breathe!

2011-09-20T13:05:00.001-07:00

This kid was telling me how she goes to school with a Romanian boy named Vlad who has really bad asthma attacks, so her classmates being the nice and sweet little angels they are started calling this poor darling child, "Vlad the Inhaler!"

I think I might need to lose some weight. I just bent over to tie my shoes and found my chin resting on my gut and not because I'm flexible.

I've become a HUGE fan of Martha Colburn's work! There is a lot in her animation that I respond to. I first became aware of her for her work in the film, "The Devil and Daniel Johnson" and a friend from Detroit who performed music for her live installation. Check her out!

http://www.marthacolburn.com/

Horny Unicorn!

2011-09-18T15:38:00.001-07:00

I think I know what I'm wearing for Halloween!

Speaking of fairytales...

Texas Governor Rick Perry says he has interpreted certain events through his life as signs from God. You really want a President that believes he gets "supernatural" messages from God.

I've been trying to write my memoirs using A. E. Van Vogt's writing methods, but ran out of antonyms for "mind-boggling!"

Is there any trick you use to be prolific? Besides, "Reply All."

My back is still hurting. I woke up stiff as a board. I was trying so hard to get it in gear. Hot shower. Hot rice bag. Hanging upside down on the inversion table. I hate to be this way, but having years of experience with back pain I know for a fact that the only thing that works in making it better is oral sex.

I think JL2 is on to me about this backache! She brought me breakfast in bed, then lunch, she rubbed my back, neck and feet. She fluffed up my pillows. Then I said in my strained and pitiful voice, "Sweetheart, I sure could use some hot fresh brownies and milk." She didn't even look at me when she said, "I'd like some to, so get your fat lazy ass in the kitchen and make some!"

I need to get back in shape. I think the shape I was in when I was 13 is pretty good. I'd like to get fit, but this way is so wrong on many levels and should be stopped at all costs.

JL2's 13 year old daughter ESP was telling us that Dr. Oz said if anyone gets 10 strands or more when you run your fingers through their hair that they will go bald, so I asked her if she could run her fingers through my luscious mane of back hair (because I can't reach it) to see if my back will go bald, she said, "I, I,...I just threw up in my mouth."

I don't get it! When I tell about the way JL2 is treating me (making me fold clothes when my back is supposed to be hurting, making me wake up at noon and shower, making me pick my own clothes up off the floor...) people just cheer her and request her to be their FB friend... MY friends! Where's the love for me? I'm the one that needs it!!!

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When I'm upside down I can see up your skirt!

2011-09-17T19:19:00.001-07:00

JL2 brought me breakfast in bed! Then she nudged me, "Baby? Wanna go to see if there are anymore yard sales out there?"

How could I say no?

It was a great day! I got a cool 60s style chair for $2, JL2 found a really pretty dress for 50¢ and got a neat free table! We didn't stress about finding stuff or not, just chilled and looked and drove and looked some more. However, we forgot to eat lunch because we got distracted and both of us got hit all the sudden with hunger. It was weird, like we both hit a wall.

Then as we were finished I was leaning into the back of the car, loading some nearly weightless item, when my back suddenly went out! SHOOTING PAIN up my spine, through my neck and up into my brain... WHY??? I'm in such pain it hurts to type in all caps!

I threw my back out after a strenuous day of going to yard sales? I'm so flexible!

It's feeling better now.

I couldn't find the painkillers I usually have when I encounter my yearly back outage, so JL2 came into the bedroom and said, "Baby, I think I got just the medicine you need!"

She opened up a Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkin® and applied it to me orally. That stuff was like fast actin' Tinactin® cause within seconds I started to feel better!

Once again, the trusty old Inversion Table I purchased over 10 years ago from QVC did the trick! It separated all the vertebra in my spine and the tangled coaxial of nerve endings fell loose and free like a rocking chair off a cat's tail.

Still have some sore muscles but nothing a good Thai massage with a happy ending won't fix!

Sadly no money fell out of my pockets while I was hanging upside down. That's only because I don't have any money, and the only things that fell out of my pockets were 4 Cherry Chapsticks®!

How did I end up with 4 in one pocket? Oh, and one pretty marble, too!

Check out my other blog about all films I watch! Today's film is, "The Living Dead: Three Films About the Power of the Past"

‎http://1filmaday.blogspot.com/2011/09/living-dead-three-films-about-power-of.html

As I'm a huge fan of Adam Curtis, I had been looking forward to this film. It is amazing, terrifying and at times hilarious. You get to see how naive science can be, how tax dollars fund huge black budget operations that inflict horrifying tests on enemies and the public without their knowledge.

Seeing this film means I've caught up with all his released films. The guy is absolutely the best! I sadly must wait for more of his work to be unleashed upon the world.

Remember our deer? The one with the broken leg? She's still here and her lil' ones are growing up so fast! They love that deer lick block with all the nutrients we put our for them. One day there was almost 15 deer out here! I was really worried for a few days because Hunting Season has started and there was gunfire all around us. If the deer only knew they were safe on our property...

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Eat me!

2011-09-16T22:06:00.001-07:00

JL2 just asked me if I wanted a brownie, but added, "...or are you too full from the Pop-Tart you just had?"

I didn't want to admit I just had one and was pissed she's keeping track, so I lied, "I didn't have a Pop-Tart!"

Then she says, "You didn't eat one? What are those crumbs all over your belly?"

Thinking I was losing brownies, I panicked, "Oh, I was picking my nose."

She gave a wincing kinda look, "If that's your lie you must be desperate for brownies!"

Well, the thing is, she knew it was Pop-Tarts, so she wasn't being gross and besides; My nose is so clean you could eat out of it!!!

A friend messaged me and said, "OMG Jerry, you gotta go and watch this commercial on youtube!"

So I go and search it. It was a commercial and guess what played before I could watch the commercial? No, another commercial! Remember way back in the grand old days before youtube played commercials before commercials?

Insurance isn't letting me get my medication refilled until after the day it runs out, and it would have to be called in again to the pharmacy, but it can't because my doctor is out of the office for a week during that time. There seems to be no way for me to get my medication without a 3-7 day lapse leading to major withdrawal a serious side effects.

I heard the Tea Party audience shouting "Let Jerry die!"

They had given me a year long prescription, but suddenly changed it to a one month without warning and at the last minute. Even the Doctors and nurses are at a loss to understand why they are doing it.

http://inthesetimes.com/duly-noted/entry/11975/ron_pauls_former_campaign_manager_died_uninsured_free/

I can't believe it! JL2 woke me up at 10am to go yard sale hunting again!

JL2 and I were very disappointed in the yard sales we visited today! What happened? Last week was awesome, but today was the worst example of meth-heads, jacked up prices on dirty and broken items and babies running around with no diapers on. Awful, just awful.

JL2 tried to make up for a bad day at yard sales by suggesting we go by one of those Spirit Halloween stores and look at costumes. I was interested in picking up some liquid latex and other special makeup effects goop, but I thought I could find it cheaper elsewhere. Do you have a good source online that I might use?

JL2 is so skeptical. She is hard to talk to when it comes to UFOs, Ghosts, Nessie, Bigfoot, Fairies, Mothman, Sea Monsters, Dragons, Psychics and other things I know to be true.

On this day in 1963, the series, "The Outer Limits," debuted on ABC. Listen to the eerie opening of each episode, "There is nothing wrong with your television set."

The late Cliff Robertson stars as a Jerry Lentz-like disc jockey whose radio tower allows a highly dangerous glowing radioactive being to come to Earth.

In space no one can hear you scream, "Oh God! That feels so good!"

2011-09-15T15:35:00.001-07:00

I am proud to say I know the author of this brilliant work of SciFi! I loved "Starship Intercourse!" I loved the cover with the space helmets and nude bodies. The vacuum of space is okay on bare skin, just keep your head in that glass bubble!

This is a really nice Instructable about a sweet dad that build an Alien costume for his boy real cheap with Dollar Store items! I think it looks pretty good! Pump some smoke in, cover it with KY Jelly, spray it with steam, flashing strobe lights... You can make you own Alien movie! I LOVE it!

http://www.instructables.com/id/Alien-Xenomorph-costume/?ALLSTEPS

JL2 brought me breakfast in bed the other day. If she thinks this will get me to wake up before noon and cook for her... Then she's got another thing... Well, what I was trying to say before I was interrupted; She made this biscuit that looks like a little old wrinkly man I used to know as a kid.

I had been thinking about him the day before and wondered if he was in heaven or had reincarnated. Then the next day I get this biscuit from JL2! I should've saved it, but I buttered it up, dipped it in honey, sopped up some runny fried egg, and he was gooood! Life is so amazing if you stop and look!

I was trying to use hypnosis and the Force on JL2 to get her to do my bidding because I was sitting down reading, but she just smirked and sighed, "Uh huh" and didn't do what I wanted. I said, "Can't you say, 'Yes Master, I will do just as you say?'"

And get this; she looks at me in that distant and vacant way and says, "Yes, Bastard!"

JL2 made an awesome dinner last night, but I've been thinking about it all day today. She made spinach, garlic roasted potatoes and a delicious pork tenderloin! OMG, it was fantastic! Then after we finished she whispered to me, "The dinner was so easy to make, even you could do it." She is trying so hard to get me to cook! I'm not falling for it!

See, I think if I start cooking, she'll just expect me to do it 3 times a day. Then she'll have me doing laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, picking up after myself... It's endless!

Is anyone on here trying that square foot gardening thing, and is it any good? We're gonna have to do it up on our back deck. It's about 10ft off the ground and because we've been caring for deer and feeding them, they'd just think we were growing food for them and eat everything.

Have you seen the Scarlett Johansson nude photos she took of herself with her phone? Why do young girls take nude pictures of themselves when they only fall into the hands of bad boys? They need to realize that I can take those kind of photos for them and keep them safe!

JL2 gave me that one raised eyebrow look, but when I explained how important it is for me that girls feel safe and comfortable with me taking nude photos of them, she loosened her grip on my balls and said, "Sure, I understand perfectly."

We are really good about communicating! That's why I love her so much!

Don't wanna get any sticky stuff on ya!

2011-09-14T19:00:00.001-07:00

JL2 has been making crafts, painting my basement film studio, and trying to teach me to cook, but I ain't falling for that because I know she just wants me to cook! I know what she's unto! Trying to make doing projects and chores around the house seem fun and sexy… PLEASE!

LOOK at the pic-a-nic basket JL2 refurbished! I wanted to show you as soon as I could how cool this is and how awesome she for doing something like this! She lined the inside with vintage late 50s fabric and painted it! I'm ready to go the park and have cheese and apples and wine! Who's with me?

See, I don't need much in the way of costumes. Give me a wet washcloth and I become... Ming the Mercilentz!

There are so many scifi and horror conventions I want to go to now dressed up in my wet washcloth headwear cosplay.

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King and Queen!

2011-09-13T20:12:00.001-07:00

JL2 painted another in her "Elvis" series of portraits and took it to the local gallery to sell. She's so talented! You have to see these up close because the color and detail is fantastic!

She's working on creating a series of monsters, too. Hammer style stuff, Dracula, Peter Cushing, Oliver Reed... She'll be like the female Basil Gogos besides she already owns a pair of go-go boots!

http://artofjessica.blogspot.com/

JL2 has gotten slightly accustom to my habit of taking the MacBook Pro into the bathroom to do work, but she really cringes when I do it at a public restroom.

Sure, I'd go see that movie, "The Help"... if it starred Pam Grier, Tamara Dobson, Carol Speed, Jean Bell and Sasha Grey as the white chick...

This guy was chatting with me and said he was a "Pro Bono Attorney" and I asked if he could get me any U2 autographs, but I doubt if he will.

I tell you what, that Jack De Cat is one crazy kitty! He was yelling at me to come look at something, so I followed him all through the house to his water bowl and he looked at me to say, "Lookz wad Iz did!" And there floating in his water bowl was a giant hairball...

YUK!

Is there a certain age when men should stop wearing briefs? Can old men still look cool wearing briefs? I've never felt good in boxers, but I don't want to look silly being an 80 year old dude wearing my Batman manties.

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I'm so animated when it comes to you!

2011-09-12T20:45:00.001-07:00

My friend and technical director of Lentz Industries, Steve Kellener took JL2, ESP and me on a walking tour via Skype and iPad through the new state of the art Hollywood animation studio where some of the most artistically innovative and culturally significant flickering cartoon picture shows are being produced. Titmouse!

http://www.titmouse.net/

I always wanted to be an animator and it's my dream to have a scary and funny TV show and do it at the Titmouse Studios! If you make a wish for me, maybe it can come true! Wishes are after all, dreams your heart makes... Or is it dreams are wishes your heart... Just wish me luck, for crying out loud! I made this! I drew it! Now praise me!

http://www.animationmeat.com/qt/popeye_highbandwidth.mov

Looks like JL2 and I had our 1st big argument! She raised her voice and pointed her finger at me with powerful thrusts! Maybe you can show her I'm right by siding with me. She says people like Jeff Koons, Mark Kostabi, Damien Hirst, or Marcel Duchamp... Are not true artists when they have others create their work. I disagree with her!

Now can someone please explain to her why I'm right!

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My dear deer!

2011-09-10T14:51:00.001-07:00

My old ball and chain (JL2) dragged me out of bed at 9AM (!!!) to go to a bunch of hillbilly yard sales. I had things to do! Like what? None of your business! This is not what I thought married life as gonna be.

What should I do?

Well we're back and it turned out GREAT!!!

This may have been the best day I've had in a long time! The very 1st yard sale we hit was fantastic! Great stuff, way cheap! We loaded up. Even the 2nd yard sale was awesome! It turned out to be the perfect day. We found deal after deal. I don't know why I was even fighting it this morning? I had a blast! The day went way too fast!

JL2 is a medical transcriptionist who collects automatic speech recognition cockups and one that stands out is, "...she removed the bandage and a lot of puss came out." However, it typed, "...she removed the bandage and a lot of pasta came out."

We went to the Farmer's Co-op and got a 25 pound block, deer molasses lick with a blend of vitamins, essential minerals, micro minerals, milo, corn, soybeans, cottonseed meal, molasses and apple. That deer with the broken leg is out back right now licking like there's no tomorrow! I hope she feels better!

Dang! This stuff makes me queasy! I just hate seeing animals hurt! I don't know why I'm like this?

Looking online, a deer with a broken leg is way more common than I had believed. I've seen this deer for maybe 3 months now and it has had that strange limp before it got close enough for me to see.

One positive that just happened was the appearance of a new group of deer that hopefully could take the two babies if she happens to die. They seem to have one young deer with them. She LOVED the deer lick we put out, so maybe her milk will pass on some goodness to her young.

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To Boldly Go Where No Man Has... Well, a few have gone there before.

2011-09-08T13:44:00.001-07:00

On this date 45 years ago (I hadn't been born yet, but thankfully there was syndication) came the greatest TV series ever made! (up there with The Sopranos, The Simpsons, The Hills...) To celebrate this important date, JL2 and I are wearing our Star Trek bathrobes my technical advisor, Steve Kellener had Bill Theiss, the costume designer for Star Trek make for our Wedding. I found this surprising since Bill died in 1992, but I let it go. I made sure JL2 made me a beneficiary on her insurance before wearing the red robe.

Heard a woman in line tell the checkout clerk at WalMart, "Oh, I wish they'd move 9/11 to Monday so we could have a 3 Day Weekend."

No one even seemed to find that statement odd other than me.

I vacuumed old dried cat vomit and cat poop off a couch that needs major reupholstering! I wonder if the owner used the cat's litter box to do his business? Nasty! I think animals need to be free, but not free to poop on couches!

Think it was yesterday I was talking about a deer that lives in the woods behind us that has a mangled leg and everyone was so kind and helpful. I thought I'd show you the mommy and her two babies.

There is a group of deer that live in our back property. I always thought the mother walked funny, but just the other day I noticed her leg bending funny. She might have been hit by a car or caught in a trap or bite by a dog. I want to do something for her, but I know she's been this way for some time. If I can keep a little food, corn, water... Just make her life a bit better and better for her babies without them getting to comfortable around humans.

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Shh, I'm watching Pay-Purr-Mew!

2011-09-07T04:45:00.001-07:00

On September 7, 1927 inventor Philo T. Farnsworth and assistants successfully transmitted the first all-electronic television image. How do you feel about TV now?

You know my silly friend Jack De Cat? Get a load of this; He was being fussy to me because I didn't change the "old" water in his water dish to "new" water fast enough for him, and this feral cat we love named, "Cow-Cat" is at the door meowing in that high-pitched, arrested development, baby voice that manipulatively compels one to do her bidding, so I take a bowl of food out to her and Jack De Cat angrily jumps up, gets all in my face and meows, "What the fuck, man? Are you giving her my FOOD?"

At the Goodwill store I found a set of those Mormon Super Undergarments that will protect you from all kinds of freaky apocalypses, so I thought hard about buying them, but noticed they couldn't even repel sweat stains and skid marks for the previous owner.

I've been all excited these last few weeks because I heard the band, Rush was gonna be in concert next month and I thought I might actually go, so I call to buy tickets and it turns out to be some Jesus band called, Rush of Fools, for Christ's sake! The asshat on the phone kept trying to sell me the tickets anyway, by saying, "You'll probably love the music, 'cause they got guitars! What difference does it make?" Can you imagine?

Only cool people that will better my life and career should add me, please! I have a "family" and an active alternative lifestyle that needs continuous funding, so if you don't have the dough to bring me to a higher tax bracket and support my ever increasing debt producing hobbies... Oh alright, just add me!

http://www.linkedin.com/in/jerrylentz

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OMG!!!

2011-09-06T22:44:00.001-07:00

‎"Oh my God! You have to see the size of this cock," JL2 asked over her laptop.

In disgust I say, "No, that's okay. I've seen enough porn, but..."

She interrupted, "I said, 'You have to see the size of this CROC."

Evidently there was a 1 ton 21 feet long saltwater crocodile caught in the Philippines in the news.

Wah, wah, wah...

http://articles.boston.com/2011-09-05/news/30116268_1_crocodile-farm-villager...

I had a little one my parents bought for me when I was a child, but one day they said it had left for a vacation. My mom eventually, (when I was 19) told me she flushed it down the toilet. I wanted so bad for it to come back and see me. I loved it!

When I was little my mom and dad, when we lived in Florida had a bad run in with a group of crocs. Mom was lucky not to have been eaten alive.

They were camping in and around some lagoon they loved and mom had left the food supplies and stuff on their folding table and she stepped out to get the stuff without looking first and she was surrounded by crocodiles. There was even on under the steps that she just walked off of. She said she just started throwing the food and a feeding frenzy began all around her and she jumped over one and leaped into the camper.

Just checked the mailbox to find the latest issue of Video☆WatcHDog #164 and was happily surprised by the amount of nudity it had, but saddened by how little I am mentioned.

http://www.videowatchdog.com/home/preview/164/preview.html

If you are an editor, writer, or work classifieds in print media, I am available for interviews, cover stories and centerfolds.

Ever try scrubbing a dirty stain off your skin, again and again, but it just won't come off, then you realize it's a bruise? Now you have raw and bruised skin!

Eddie Murphy is gonna host the Oscars? And with Brett Ratner producing that means look for an appearance by Roman Polanski! Who would you like to see host, living or dead?

It is rainy and cold! Dang, is winter here already?

Are you an animal lover? I am, and if you can help me with a problem, I'd really appreciate it. I've been feeding a mommy deer and two lil' babies for a few months. I had noticed she walked kinda funny, but just a few minutes ago was the first time I could see her head on and sadly her right front leg is deformed, either from birth, or most likely by a car. If I call animal control, they'll just shoot her... Help! She has babies to feed!

I don't know what to do! Should she be tranquilized and her leg re-broken and set? How do I get that done without people meddling in my business?

I was so upset about the deer, I got sick. I know that's weird, but I did. JL2 tried to calm me down by giving me drugs and suggested we watch a film together and boy was it a great one! Check out my New Film Blog to find out what it was!

http://1filmaday.blogspot.com/2011/09/brighton-rock.html

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http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml

Wheel you see me?

2011-09-05T17:34:00.001-07:00

Here's a still from the New horror film I'm working on called, "The Cycle" I can't wait for you to see it! The entire cast and crew were so worn out from the shoot when this publicity photo was taken. The water wheel scene is especially shocking and I don't think it's ever been done in cinema the way we're doing it. Hope you will like it!

What favorite line from what favorite movie are you going to perform for my camera? Okay, once more with feeling and could you say it while you slowly remove your clothing? I mean costume, of course. Now, from the top! Action!

Have you been to my film blog? Why not? Go there and start following it! Stop being a lurker and start being a participant!

http://1filmaday.blogspot.com/

I got the News that an adult film performer who tested positive for HIV, causing the porno industry to shut down has been retested and the performer does not have the virus after all, but I will continue to play it safe as I watch porn by masturbating while wearing a rubber.

You may think I'm a goober, but better to be a safe goober than loser goober with peculiar tumor on my super skewer!

Thank you, Bank of America! Even though I closed out my account with you long ago, you are kind enough to send me daily Banking Alerts to tell me the amount in my nonexistent account is $0.00. That is some service!

My niece's boy is in Kindergarden and his school is strict. So he got in trouble when he pointed his hand shaped as a gun, but later when he had been a good boy all week the teacher let him and other "good" children reach into a toy box and pull out a toy to keep. Guess what toys were available to choose? Army men with machine guns, cowboys with pistols, and Policemen with handguns...

What kinda message is that?

I guess what I'm saying is, if you are gonna punish a child for pretending he has a gun in his hand on the playground, don't reward him with a toy gun for being good.

Speaking of pretending; If you model or act and you're on Model Mayhem and you are interesting in performing in my upcoming films, please send me a link to your photos and stats.

http://www.modelmayhem.com/jerrylentz

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My eye adore you!

2011-09-04T14:49:00.001-07:00

My eye is feeling better! Seems the pain and sensitivity was a result of the large amounts of various antibiotics I was ingesting. A few days after the prescriptions ended the sensitivity to light on my flesh and pain in my eye faded. When I was posting photos on Facebook of my heroes that had worn an eyepatch people wanted to know about Nicholas Ray, who I included in the pics. Well, here's a nice overview of the man.

Say that to my face! Look at me when I'm talking to you!

2011-09-03T20:28:00.001-07:00

Today an old woman told me about her grandchild who was texting a post on FB and fell down the stairs at his college and broke an ankle because he wasn't watching where he was going. "These children have no idea the danger the Internet and technology is!"

On September 3, 2007 that adventurer Steve Fossett vanished after taking off on a solo flight over the Nevada desert.

It was on this day in 1976, the Viking 2 spacecraft landed at Utopia Planitia on Mars and sent back the first close-up, color images of the planet's surface.

I hope they finally get this bastard and make him pay!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14207581

I've tried raising funds for my film projects through Indie-gogo, Kickstarter and other crowdfunding things, and some wonderful people did support me, but now I need some finishing funds for various projects and I was wondering; What kind of incentive would you need to actually send me $10-$20-$50-$100? Credit? Gifts? A role? What would get you to actually do it in these hard times?

I can't wait! Watch the awesome trailer inside the link!

http://www.indiewire.com/article/nick_broomfields_sarah_palin_you_betcha_will...

Curt Siodmak who wrote Donovan's Brain, The Lady and the Monster, The Brain, Earth vs. the Flying Saucers, I Walked With a Zombie, The Beast With Five Fingers and The Wolf Man died on this date in 2000. How will you honor this man and his work today?

http://www.blackmaskmagazine.com/siodmak.html

http://jerrylentz.blogspot.com/2011/09/i-was-flipping-through-channels-and.html

You must visit:

http://www.jerrylentz.com/

http://tinyurl.com/yb885xt

http://www.facebook.com/jerrylentz

http://www.jerrylentz.com/podcast/podcast.xml

2011-09-02T19:11:00.000-07:00

I was flipping through channels and stopped on a really old movie where there were a bunch of teen girls gathered around talking on an old crank telephone at a general store and I thought to myself that nothing has really changed because it looked just like the girls that hang out at the Apple Store.

It's confirmed! I have dementia or something! I was making a PB&J. I smeared the peanut butter on the bread the way I love it, thick. Then I scooped up some jelly on the knife and slathered it on. I slapped the bread together and took a big bite... WHAT? I just took a bite out of a Peanut Butter and Salsa Sandwich!!!

OMG!!! Not what I was expecting!

I need to lie down for a while.

In the NEWS a man was stopped at an airport when imaging scans revealed a rare snake hidden in his trousers. I swear, if I had a dollar for every time the TSA pulled me aside thinking I was smuggling a snake in my pants.

Sometimes I think I just attract the freaks.

SciFi, Sex, NASA, Occult, Cakes, Brownies, Fritos, Gas, Rockets...

2011-09-01T18:26:00.001-07:00

On September 1, 1902, A Trip to the Moon, arguably the first science-fiction film, premiered in France. How will you honor the imagination and magic of Georges Méliès on this important date?

Did you know that deep inside the Trinity atomic bomb there was a jar containing a fetus conceived by Marjorie Cameron and Jack Parsons, a founder of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory and the Aerojet Corp?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marjorie_Cameron

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Whiteside_Parsons

Now that you've have this knowledge how does it affect you?

Eisenhower's nightmare became America's reality. The military-industrial complex runs America, owns its media and politicians, and needs to be stopped.

http://warcosts.com/

I thought I heard Jack De Cat whining so being a concerned friend I looked for him, but he was fine, all perched on his window seat. Walking back to my laptop I discovered the whining sound to be my belly digesting the two bowls of Raisin Bran® cereal.

Dang, I wish you could lay your head on my big fat soft floppy gut and hear my baby kickin'! I have major gas! I could power a rocket!

"Kick the tires and light the fires!"

I feel like I drank a liter of Pepsi and swallowed a handful of Mentos.

Ladies, when your man is trying to please you sexually and he asks if there is anything new you'd like to try that no other man has done for you, but that you've wanted to try, don't answer with, "Yes, but first let me take a Gas-X ® !"

I thought my nose was so stopped up that the nasal spray I was repeatedly pumping like a battering ram wasn't able to make its way to the clogged drains, but it turned out I forgot to twist the lid of the bottle. Live and learn.

JL2 strenuously suggested I use Crest® Whitestrips. My smile doesn't have that Turtle Wax Shine anymore. She's embarrassed being she's such a young wife and me being feeble and sickly looking when we're at one of her friend's cocktail parties. Few nights ago, fell asleep with the strips in and accidentally swallowed them. I was worried, but it turned into a blessing because now I won't need that anal bleaching!

JL2 and ESP (formerly E13) love making those cakes in a mug and brownies in a mug, but they say, "Jerry, one cup is enough!"

So the jokes on them, because I got a ceramic 130oz. size coffee mug! I can't wait to see the look on their faces when I say, "Here's my cup! Now make my cake!"

Now JL2 and ESP are on this Frito Pie kick! My brother loves them. Have you ever had one? It's basically Fritos with chili and cheese. How whiskey tango can you get? I think it smells like feet and ass whenever I'm near someone eating it.

Blastoff for High Adventure!

2011-08-31T17:05:00.001-07:00

I really wanted to blastoff today!

Felt kinds oogy. JL2 and her hybrid clone ESP have been coughing and sneezing all around me. Then I had to be lil' Suzy Homemaker and clean and vacuum. Oh, and the neighbor was mowing his bigass lawn, so there was dirt, dust and pollen everywhere! I know it was affecting me because whenever I blew my nose it looked like Hershey's chocolate syrup, but you know, gross.

I took some diphenhydramine and kicked back and tripped out with some excellent video programming. Go ahead, watch! I dare ya!

2011-08-30T18:03:00.001-07:00

Coming Soon! I'm shooting it with a new camera, new lenses, new equipment and some homemade stuff. Hope you'll watch it when we finish!

My One Film a Day blog is really helping me with research and inspiration, maybe it will help you as well. I'm posting some stuff here that I've come across that I found interesting.

http://1filmaday.blogspot.com/

How to make a horror Film!

http://io9.com/5787731/secrets-of-insidious-how-to-make-a-low-budget-horror-m...

http://www.youtube.com/user/indymogul

It got hard…

2011-08-29T18:29:00.001-07:00

…to read this book. I was up all night reading. I got at the thrift store. It was a very informative read! There was so much underlined stuff from previous owners that it looked like the CIA has censored the material.

Was on Instructables looking at projects to build like steampunk rayguns, and slow-drip nuclear reactors. JL2 had to jump in and shout, "Look! A recipe for brownies in a mug!"

So I innocently said, "Go make 'em, I'm hungry!"

Her eyes narrowed, "Hope they have plans to build a jaws of life so you can remove the robotic rocket boot that I'm gonna build and put up your ass!"

If you've ever done the cake in a mug thing you know how great it can be, but now we've already moved on to the brownie in a mug and it's fantastic! I've never done crack, as far as I know, but I'd find it hard pressed to be as addictive as these mug desserts.

You've been warned; Just say Yes to mugs!

http://www.instructables.com/id/5-minute-Chocolate-Cake/

http://www.instructables.com/id/Mug-Brownie/

http://www.instructables.com/id/Single-serve-instant-chocolate-pudding/

I feel fat. Yet, when I look in the mirror I still look hot. I'm so glad I installed that Funhouse Mirror!

Has anyone noticed a change in Sofia Coppola's look? Has she had some work done? She looks different to me.

JL2 showed me a cool paint trick where she covered a bookshelf with Elmer's Glue, painted on top of it and as the glue dried it gave it an unpredictable crackle effect. Cool trick!

Not to be outdone I squeezed a big glob of glue on my forearm, peeled it like a radiation burn. But the last time I did that I was a hairless lad of 9, so all night I've been ripping glue off along with my arm hair.

Have you been here, yet? Why haven't you commented or at least bookmarked it? We watched a great one last night!

http://1filmaday.blogspot.com/

I'm pretty sure that the awesomeness of this movie trailer is solely due to the voiceover. If you have a film that needs hipness then you could do a lot of things wrong, but getting the announcer who did the Robot's voice on the "Lost in Space" wouldn't be one of them.

2011-08-28T18:40:00.000-07:00

Have you been to, "One Film a Day" yet?

http://1filmaday.blogspot.com/

This is the website. This is the project. This is the goal. I am watching 1 film a day! Not that hard, as I've watched sometimes more than one a day, but where the trouble comes in is that...

I am doing something everyday toward the effort of making as many feature films that I can per year! Yes! I am making feature length films! This will be very tough. Daunting. Dangerous.

You can help me! I need Actors, Poster Art, Music, Press, Money... The Comments will be open for your suggestions, prompts, support...

I'm building a studio. I'm building gear. I'm building props. I'm collecting tools. I'm collecting equipment. I'm collecting ideas.

If you have any of these items, used or new sitting around and have no need of them, please think of me and what I want to do. They will have a great home and be used and loved.

Whatever you can offer. These films most likely won't be great, but I will try my best in the few hours per day to create something good.

Don't ask me Why I'm doing this. I don't know. But I've always wanted to do it. It's my running coast to coast. My mountain climb. My obsession.

Be part of this! Help Support this Important Goal! Contact me!

We watched a great one tonight! If you love old classic British films, check it out!

I'm about to get creative in the next few days!

2011-08-27T23:01:00.001-07:00

I'm gonna cut up some cardboard, hot glue it together in the shape of a robot helmet and a spaceman helmet, then fiberglass it, resin it, and slap some layers of bondo on it, sand it, paint it... It'll be the first major movie prop that I've ever made! Hopefully, I'll be able to pry it off my head!

http://www.instructables.com/id/Cardboard-Halo-3-Master-Chief-Helmet/

Electric Guitar player friends, I need your advice! I was downtown Nashville today looking at strings and effects pedals and I thought the prices were rather high. Maybe it was just me. What do you recommend for strings, cool effects and amp cord? Oh, maybe a great electric guitar tutorial for rock guitar would be nice, too!

For Pete's sake! Why on Earth did the film, "The Help" need to be in 3D? Watching Emma Stone's curls dangle off screen? Seeing the sheets flap over the audience when they got folded? Looking at the pancakes coming at ya when breakfast was served? Yet, I still cried at the end when that pretty white girl saved all them sad black women.

I had a Bacon and Blue Hotdog at Sonic, the one with the poppyseed bun. But what if I got drug tested? I foolishly thought. No need to worry. All those cute little black poppyseeds never got ingested, instead they were safely filtered from entering my system by being deposited on my teeth! Pretty!

Now there's no excuse! Send me $5000 NOW!

http://www.indiewire.com/article/how_to_make_your_first_feature_film_for_5000/

DON'T FORGET

http://1filmaday.blogspot.com/

Subscribe and enjoy!

2011-08-26T21:56:00.000-07:00

I have a New blog, so please come and check it out! If you love stories, writing, films, DIY, filmmaking... I hope you'll join me on this new adventure! It's new so that means it's lonely on the site, please visit and participate! Subscribe and enjoy!

Today's post is a preview of that very blog!

http://1filmaday.blogspot.com/

This is the film I watch repeatedly, 2nd only to "Eraserhead" so it's an easy pick. Also, this is the latest of the Director's Cuts.

The stories behind the film and the creators of it are just as amazing.

This film makes me want to make a film so bad. It's just so beautiful, thick with detail, dark and sad. What are some of your interesting thoughts on the film?

The Bat-Building!

2011-08-25T18:38:00.001-07:00

Today while driving around downtown Nashville in my Tumbler Civic looking for free parking in the 100+ Degrees and climbing as the a/c went out, I wondered why Warner Bros. hasn't rented this building for "Rise of the Dark Knight" or whatever they're calling it?

See the Batman mask/head/cowl thing in that there skyscraper?

Was looking for 3rd Man Records, but everyone I asked either didn't know, or they said, "Man, there's no building for it, it's only a truck that drives around like a bookmobile!"

http://thirdmanrecords.com/news.html

Knew they were wrong! But I was wrong to head out without looking it up or taking my MacBook with me.

Had to get out of the house today! I felt like shit! Couldn't breathe, my left eye was stinging like I'd been staring at an arc welder all night, and my skin burned from light sensitivity due to the medication I'm taking. Mainly, I just needed to get out and drive!

Started feeling great as soon as I left! My head cleared up and I started feeling positive about my life! When I was walking around downtown I was looking at the trees on the streets, the storefronts, the pretty people walking by, the guitars in the windows, the gyros being made, the theaters holding auditions, the jurors heading into the courthouse, the tiny pregnant girl with the huge belly incased in a leather corset… It was a real Mister Rogers' Neighborhood kinda day!

Today needed to be good because I wanted to be alone and it sucks to have a day alone that goes bad, then who do you have to blame? But here I was out with strangers and it felt so much better than hanging around dramatic people I kinda know.

It's funny, being an actor and loving film and theatre and finding myself turned off by people getting all dramatic and having hissy-fits. While I was walking around in my sweaty clothes I started thinking how assholes really have it made. Hear me out; I get it all the time, "Jerry is so sweet! Jerry is so kind! Jerry is such a good guy!"

Look where it's got me!

Girls fall for the abusive asshole. Bosses promote the office asshole. Children long for the love of the asshole parent. Jesus saves the asshole. Gays love the asshole. The tax cheater gets away with it because he's an asshole. The rich asshole, if he ever does time, it's in a resort style prison. The asshole gets elected. The asshole gets the starring role. The asshole gets the record deal. The asshole gets his film made. The asshole gets the parking spot that still has time on the meter.

The asshole gets everything cause they don't care. You can tell them until you're blue in the face how they've hurt your feeling, but they'll smile and say, "Oh, sorry," and they move on without a thought of how they may have hurt you. They can bury any emotion, sweep it under the carpet, unplug the guilt chip, slip on their psychopath mask, build a wall around them, talk loud, move into your space, threaten violence, hit you, ask for forgiveness, con the therapist, drain you…

But there are those that somehow want more of it… That drama. It must be exciting. It's so lively. They must love you with all that attention they're giving you. They're just doing what's best for you.

RUN!!!

Who is the lamb and who is the knife?

Were you born to resist or be abused?

In a world where Batman doesn't exist it's imperative to be your own Dark Knight and outsmart the assholes.

Look into MY eyes!

2011-08-24T19:09:00.001-07:00

You are now under my spell! Do as I say! Relax! Sleep! Your muscles uncoil. Your arms are so heavy. You feel so tired and your brain is sleepy. You feel GREAT! You are a giving person! You give yourself to me. You give your money, to me, what is a great charity! It makes you feel fantastic! To do what I say, is pleasurable!

Bought Jack De Cat new type cat food... AGAIN! He just looks at it, sniffs it, looks up at me and then rolls his eyes and goes off to pout.

What am I gonna do?

2011-08-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

It was night. The only light was from my desk lamp and the Chesterfield on my lip.

My mind was on the pie I had at the automat, it was good, and I thought I might go back and get another one, this time cherry. I was also thinking about the bills I couldn't pay and how Berkley had said nothing good was coming to me, then this dame poured into my office.

Six feet of legs, hair spun from gold, curled in waves like those made by a drowning man, in between was a slit black pencil skirt tight enough to keep her thighs from flying apart.

Her sultry eyes had that dead look.

Her lips were cut throat blood red.

She was pure evil, this I could tell instantly because she was pointing a gun at me and because her tanned skin was the color of a hangover piss.

I saw a link that read, "Teen Girl Fingered" and I had to...

2011-08-22T14:42:00.001-07:00

...click it to show JL2 how disgusting the Internet can be, but was pleasantly surprised to find a truly amazing and heartwarming story of science, engineering and medicine!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8709355/Girl-15-is-yo...

I don't know why, but I love seeing young girls getting involved with stuff like this! I know it's not the same, but my mom, her cousins and her sister were WACs in Florida during World War 2. (WAC stands for Women's Army Corps) So seeing gals doing tough mechanical things that are dangerous is kinda hot to me. One time in LA I had my car worked on by a former fashion model and the car still ran afterwards!

What a great life this guy seems to have! He enjoys what he does!

"Russian firm Orbital Technologies plans to open the first space hotel in history in five year's time. The space hotel, or "Commercial Space Station," as it's officially called, "...could create a new space race with the U.S., creating jobs for millions," said Jerry Lentz when asked if…"

I wonder if the TV in the hotel room gets porn?

http://www.cnngo.com/explorations/life/russians-unveil-space-hotel-678591

And you thought that Hitler Cat not getting adopted was a strange story!

"Bizarre plans by allies to turn Hitler into a woman!"

"Bizarre plans hatched by the allies to win the second world war have been revealed for the first time, including a plot to turn Hitler into a woman. "Wild!" says researcher Jerry Lentz when asked…"

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/2011/08/13/bizarre-plans-by-alli...

JL2 made an awesome treat! There are a lot of cake-in-a-mug recipes out there, but she made the perfect one! Man, was it chocolaty! Have you tried one yet?

http://www.instructables.com/id/5-minute-Chocolate-Cake/

Looking for Models and Actors, or Models that would like to be Actors, or if you are by chance an Actor/Model/Waitress who likes dressing up and undressing in Artistic and Weird Films with a Gothic/Horror/Erotic slant... Let me know if you are anywhere near here!

http://www.modelmayhem.com/2341079

I know you think it's a ways off, but have you put any thought into what you're going to dress up like for Halloween? Also, any Special Effects friends out there ever take the Dick Smith Makeup Course? I've been kicking around the idea. Thought it might add an extra color to my personal filmmaking palette. Any thoughts?

http://www.dicksmithmake-up.com/enter.htm

I'm looking over this stuff! I think I'm gonna do something awesome this year. I feel inspired now that I have the prefect muse.

http://www.instructables.com/tag/type-id/guide-true/category-living/keyword-h...

I've always liked the Pete Townshend white painters paper overalls look. Cheap. Easy. Disposable. You could put on some goggles and a face mask and you got some scifi thing. That's where Kubrick had the idea for silkscreening military costume images onto thousands of these paper overalls to dress extras in the never made "Napoleon," this was before CGI.

See? I know shit! Y'all think I'm just a big pair of tits, dontcha?

Just finished watching a documentary about old TV Horror Hosts. It was a really good show! JL2 and I watched it together and she dug it, too! We were trying to think up good names if we were horror hosts. She's really come up with some good ones. What would your name be if you were a horror host?

There are a couple of scenes in it that I believe will stick with me for the rest of my life. The short guy in yellow playing a girl dancing on the table. I laughed out loud! It was so quick and shocking. Just great stuff!

JL2, E13 and I went to see "Fright Night" but as I was ordering the $39 tickets, she handed me 3D glasses, I asked the clerk, "Is this in 3D?" I had no idea it was! I'm not a fan of 3D movies unless it's the eclipse method that they use in IMAX. It is hard to get your money back from a theatre, so I said, "I'm sorry, it's just my wife lost her eye in a cattle raid in South Sudan."

Kah-Ching! Money back!

On this day in 565, the Irish monk St. Columba is said to have made the first sighting of the Loch Ness Monster. How will you celebrate this important day? If you saw Nessie, would you ever tell anyone? If you did tell, who would you tell?

"This Leonard Nimoy Documentary on Cryptozoology and the search for Nessie inspired researcher Jerry Lentz to write a highly acclaimed report that he delivered to standing ovation and cheers in his 3rd Grade Class…"

Black Sunday

2011-08-21T12:06:00.001-07:00

After shooting some gothic footage and stills of JL2 running through the forest chased by an unseen evil entity, I thought it was time to show her Mario Bava's "Black Sunday" and see how she reacted.

I really was expecting her to fall asleep. Not because her active mind would find the story slow, but because she worked all day starting before sunrise, then had to run and run for her persistent director barking orders at her while tree branches reached out and snagged her beautiful hair and clawed at the sheer fabric that clung loosely to her nude and unprotected body.

We showered the ticks and chiggers off (hopefully) and she made us both a mango daiquiri as we crawled into bed to watch my favorite Mario Bava film.

Sweet on the outside and scary on the inside.

2011-08-20T02:20:00.001-07:00

Very sad about this news. Jimmy Sangster was a very sweet and lovely gentleman. I'd been thinking about him quite a lot lately as I have been re-collecting Hammer films and information. This was sad news to discover. Please visit the Tim Lucas article for the perfect tribute to the man and his work.

http://videowatchdog.blogspot.com/2011/08/pass-marmalade-jimmy-sangster-1927-...

http://www.cinemaretro.com/index.php?/archives/1837-EXCLUSIVE!-LONDON-TRIBUTE-TO-HAMMER-FILMS-LEGEND-JIMMY-SANGSTER.html

http://jerrylentz.blogspot.com/2011/08/here-poop-on-downloading-but-keep-it-o...

You are already missed, Jimmy Sangster!

2011-08-19T01:33:00.000-07:00

On this date in 1692, five people, including a clergyman, were burned at the stake after being convicted of witchcraft at the Salem Witch Trials.

How will you prevent this from happening again?

It does happen.

In different ways.

Maybe it's not witches one believes in, but maybe a lifestyle, a political belief, a sexual preference, or maybe ones race...

It goes on and on.

So how will you stop it from happening in your world?

Imagine me now and you will see!

2011-08-18T12:36:00.001-07:00

Dream for a moment of an unexpected surge of passion growing in that empty chamber deep within you. Who knows from whence it came, but come it does as do you to that figure you feel you've known before. In life or in dreams past he calls to you. You must have each other over and over, life upon life, born and obliterated and recreated. Barely time to make it through the door before clothing got shed, no time to waste, sleepy head.

Please watch my very short film based upon a dream I was told about! It's less than a minute and it just might change your life! I know for certain that you'll be thinking about it for quite some time after you experience it. Who is it that calls upon you in dreams? From where do you think these dreams come?

JL2 and I took my new camera and taped a drinking straw to the top of it and slid it down some fishing line about 30 feet to get some of the shots. It wasn't as smooth as it looked like it was gonna be, but I love the effect and how it stretched and squashed the images. The camera is so small I could do a lot of things with it.

I love the quality of the image, it's in no way HD, but the images remind me of silent movies. I want to see it I could make a 90 minute film with it.

I will hunt you down!

2011-08-17T11:50:00.001-07:00

I hope when the silence takes you that it will take me, too! I can't imagine what it will be like to come back the next time and have to try and find you all over again. I want our ages to be closer. If I leave now, I'll be older next time.

If you leave, I'll leave with you!

I will follow!

Don't leave me here in the dark. You are the light that scares darkness away!

A big ass helicopter just landed outside the house! I'm wondering if it has something to do with the recent UFO activity here on the property?

All governments should give up and release all the info! I promise, we won't panic! 'The officer feared that if intelligence's interest in UFOs was to be revealed it could cause "disbelief and embarrassment since few people will believe the truth that lack of funds and higher priorities have prevented any study of the thousands of reports received."'

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-14486678

I was just in the basement getting rid of old computer boxes and was surprised at how much styrofoam I collected. Kinda iffy on the local waste disposal, not sure how they handle it. I could break it all up to mix with my potting soil, or build a robot suit with it, or shoot a video of an alien bleeding acid blood on the spaceship floor by pouring gasoline on it and watching it melt... Any ideas?

I slept 16 hours straight! I didn't even get to go pee, until now. I feel I could roll over and nap for a while. I sure needed that sleep! Dang! I'm hungry! I wonder if I lost any weight while I was in my mini-coma?

At first yesterday sucked…

…But took a turn for the awesome later on.

I think I'm wearing a slight fever. My left eye is really hurting me. My stomach is still causing me great pain. JL2 even hid my medication and thinks I should stop taking them. I think she got concerned when we watched a video about the last 24 hours of Elvis's life and it reminded her of when I was kinda doped up and shot the TV while I was reading 1 Corinthians 13.

On this day in 1977 I was 5 years old and my mom took me to see "Star Wars" and before the movie they played Elvis singing "An American Trilogy" and my mommy cried and held me tight and said, "Baby, I wasn't ever gonna tell you this, but Elvis was your daddy..."

But the movie had started and I missed the rest of whatever she was blabbering on about.

Elvis left the building in 1977. How will you remember him?

Watch "Elvis" author Albert Goldman gets his butt kicked on live TV.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/16/michele-bachmanns-elvis-birthday_n_9...

In 1956 Bela Lugosi entered his coffin for the last time. How will you remember him?

I didn't sleep one bit last night.

I did get to see the deer that hangs around here out in the yard at 3am. She's limping. I wonder if she has been hit by a car. Other than the worry that caused me, it's wonderful to see her. I've started leaving food out for her and the two baby deer I once saw with her. I put the food in an old metal bowl and put it way in the back in a clearing that has soft clay so I can later see the hoof tracks. I see big hoofs and tiny hoofs and I feel a little better.

Went to my office rather sad, thinking about the state of the world and my part of it and when I opened the door I found a beautiful fully nude girl sitting in my chair!

Some days it's good to be The King!

2011-08-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

I love Anna Karina! Her romance with Jean Luc Godard was always inspirational to me. Imagine a beautiful, talented girl falling in love with a socially awkward filmmaking genius. It could only happen in the movies, I know.

A big ass helicopter just landed outside the house! I'm wondering if it has something to do with the recent UFO activity here on the property?

All governments should give up and release all the info! I promise, we won't panic! 'The officer feared that if intelligence's interest in UFOs was to be revealed it could cause "disbelief and embarrassment since few people will believe the truth that lack of funds and higher priorities have prevented any study of the thousands of reports received."'

I was just in the basement getting rid of old computer boxes and was surprised at how much styrofoam I collected. Kinda iffy on the local waste disposal, not sure how they handle it. I could break it all up to mix with my potting soil, or build a robot suit with it, or shoot a video of an alien bleeding acid blood on the spaceship floor by pouring gasoline on it and watching it melt... Any ideas?

I slept 16 hours straight! I didn't even get to go pee, until now. I feel I could roll over and nap for a while. I sure needed that sleep! Dang! I'm hungry! I wonder if I lost any weight while I was in my mini-coma?

2011-08-16T10:57:00.000-07:00

At first the day sucked…

…But took a turn for the awesome later on.

I think I'm wearing a slight fever. My left eye is really hurting me. My stomach is still causing me great pain. JL2 even hid my medication and thinks I should stop taking them. I think she got concerned when we watched a video about the last 24 hours of Elvis's life and it reminded her of when I was kinda doped up and shot the TV while I was reading 1 Corinthians 13.

Elvis left the building on this date in 1977. How will you remember him?

Watch "Elvis" author Albert Goldman gets his butt kicked on live TV.

On August 16, 1956 Bela Lugosi entered his coffin for the last time. How will you remember him?

I didn't sleep one bit last night.

I did get to see the deer that hangs around here out in the yard at 3am. She's limping. I wonder if she has been hit by a car. Other than the worry that caused me, it's wonderful to see her. I've started leaving food out for her and the two baby deer I once saw with her. I put the food in an old metal bowl and put it way in the back in a clearing that has soft clay so I can later see the hoof tracks. I see big hoofs and tiny hoofs and I feel a little better.

Went to my office rather sad, thinking about the state of the world and my part of it and when I opened the door I found a beautiful fully nude girl sitting in my chair!

Some days it's good to be The King!

Now it's dark.

2011-08-15T21:56:00.001-07:00

To all the kids heading back to school; no sarcasm, snarky remarks, backstabbing, creating rumors... Nerdy/geeks, leave the physical bullying to the jocks and cheerleaders, they are professionals, you can hurt them by hacking their FB accounts, withdrawing trust fund money and sending rude email anonymously.

Jocks, these nerds could one day create the industry that will lay your ass off while your former cheerleader wife has to strip to support you and your 4 kids.

Have fun in school!

This is what boys did before videogames, Facebook, Internet porn, taking guns to school, corn syrup... Ahh, fresh air, exercise, comradery...

Girls are starting to get out of the sewing rooms and Home-Ec 101 and taking welding before going out dancing! Meg is a real life version of Flashdance (Alex Owens - Jennifer Beals, remember?) she works as a welder by day, dancer at night! AWESOME! Oh and she makes cool things, too!

On this day in 1969, the Woodstock music festival opened. A half million concertgoers descended upon Max Yasgur's 600-acre dairy farm in rural Bethel, New York.

Lyrics rarely get better than, "We are stardust, we are golden. We are billion year old carbon. And we got to get ourselves back to the garden."

Sure, "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" is a huge success. I bet you went to see it, too. I didn't! They ain't getting none of the hard earned money I'd have to borrow from JL2. This is all the monkey business I need!

I don't get it! I leave comments on other friends posts. I hit "Like" quite a bit, too. Some of my FB friends can say the dumbest things in their status and get 80 comments! I put thought, heart, effort and care into the content of my statuses, blog posts and I get at most 5... What have I got to do? Maybe I'm just not liked as much. Maybe I'm even hated! Maybe no thought is given to me at all. Maybe I'm not special after all. Maybe everyone has moved over to Google+

https://plus.google.com/116406054110847108299

Because I'm such a light sleeper and will wake to the sound of a breeze, or to the green glow of a smoke detector, I have to wear a silky black sleep mask. JL2 refuses to let me blackout the windows like a drug trafficker.

This morning as she was hurriedly dressing for her day I heard her fussing and sighing about something, so I switched on the light to find her struggling to wear my sleep mask like the bra I was wearing over my eyes.

Trust me, I'm a Filmmaker!

2011-08-14T14:52:00.001-07:00

I doubt that when JL2 got me this camera as a gift she believed I'd be using it to make the kind of videos that I'm making, but a guy has got to have hobbies and sometimes those hobbies can bring in some money.

When trouble recently arose with her family seeing some of the photos and videos I've taken of her, she began understandably to feel uncomfortable, so she won't have any problem with me bringing in other models and actresses for my projects. I'm currently offering models that are comfortable with their bodies and being nude between $1500 to $2500 for photos and video.

This video isn't porn, but it is kinda hot. It's a camera test in David Crockett State Park with the Jazz DVX40 Video Recorder that JL2 got me as a gift. She couldn't turn down a deal, so for $15 I got a nice little camera to goof around with. It's by far the smallest camera of all the ones that I have, just beaten out by my Baby Cine 9.5mm camera by Pathé, made in 1923.

I'm getting ready to shoot some cool stuff with a few wild camera moves I came up with since the camera is so small, so be on the lookout for that test video!

Don't look!

2011-08-13T21:45:00.001-07:00

Today has been a lonely one. JL2 and E13 went to move MK-ULTRA into her college dorm. So it's just 2 boys on our own! Jack the Cat had the right idea, he slept all day. I however, have been tinkering on a new script for a feature film, but my left eye has been hurting bad. Wearing this pirate eyepatch has made it difficult to navigate with my 2D depth perception.

I should sleep, too!

I didn't sleep well at all last night because JL2, E13 and I were all watching a scary movie in bed and they feel asleep right in the middle of it. So in a rare case of not wanting to be in the bed with 2 girls, I went up to the top floor to try and sleep in a room that also contains Jack the Cat's litter box. I heard him doing his business and it sounded like he was tunneling out of prison! It went on and on...

That boy had the poops!

I can remember it for you retail!

2011-08-12T21:22:00.001-07:00

Have you ever wondered who you were in a past life? Don't believe in all that who-ha? Think everyone that says they were someone in a past life believe they were someone famous?

I found this show by accident and I have to tell you, I watched it late at night and it scared me!

You MUST watch this, it's great!

These Australian women are hypnotically regressed to their past lives and then they seek out the places they remembered. The documentary features hypnotherapist Peter Ramster who wrote a few out of print books that if you own, are worth some big money!

I'm so ready to find out who I was in a past life, but I bet I was having a better time then. However, I would think if my past lives were in a time before air-conditioning, penicillin, and the Internet… I would've killed myself so I could finally get to this time.

2011-08-11T15:24:00.000-07:00

Was asking kids if they could remember what they did on this date and how they dealt with the trauma. At first they seemed stronger than I was, maybe because of their youth, or because times are tougher now than when I grew up.

None of them acted like they even knew what I was talking about! Then in anger, I said, "...these kids are just cold, stupid assholes that only care about themselves..."

At that point JL2 intervened by telling me today was only 8/11.

Watching, "Peeping Tom" again! That film still holds up. Wasn't Pamela Green something else? Imagine the stories she could've told!

Dang! Nothing like old hot broads posing necked! I love looking at the Classic Glamour Nudes, it helps me with my models. I show them some old nudes and they figure if granny showed hair back then, she'll drop her drawers for me. I think a married guy can look at retro porn and get away with it because most of these ladies are old enough to be a great grandma or they are dead. I think a guy could even be allowed to spank it because his wife should find these pinups no threat, unless she believes in ghosts.

I shot the most horrifyingly disturbing video ever! I'm questioning myself as to whether I should show it to anyone. The rough cut so far is too much! I am thinking if you see it you wouldn't be able to get it out of your mind. The images could truly incubate a mind virus from which one might not ever recover. It could cause great harm! I see you running in flame and diving through a plate glass window to your death some 68 floors below. What you think you were doing up there in that that skyscraper looking at my videos without flame retardant undergarments is the Lord's own sweet mystery. Want to see it?

JL2 says I might want to really think about it before I put it out there. I think she feels it could be damaging to my professional reputation seeing that I've build my life and my body of work on a foundation of quality and respectability.

2011-08-10T23:15:00.000-07:00

I wonder if ghosts ever get together and take photos of each other and sometimes see the living in the background of the pictures?

I found an old used book called, "How to Sell Yourself" or something like that, so feeling like I could better my people skills and maybe build my confidence, I bought the book. When I got home, I flopped down, spread out on the bed and cracked open the book only to find it was about how to be a prostitute!

Again, Doctor Kermode is right! He hits the nail on the head!

This is awesome! A "must listen" recording! The book which inspired the original movie. A BBC Book at Bedtime presentation.

Dang! That looks like it would hurt! How'd women get so tough? Birthin' babies, aches, pains, cookin', cleanin', dealin' with asshole men all day long... The other day JL2 asked me to whisk up some thick brownie mix and my wrist hurt for a week! I get a paper cut and I'm taking muscle relaxer and sleeping it off! I'm so glad I'm a man, because if I wasn't JL2 wouldn't have been able to legally marry me.

Something is wrong with me tonight! I think I've been poisoned, have a weird tingly, dizzy, woozy and clammy feeling. Wonder if I ate something bad? If anyone out there can say a sweet prayer, cast a healing spell, sacrifice a chicken, conduct an introspection rundown... Please do so, me not feel so good. Who gets valium anymore? I want some but I can never get any of these doctors I'm Doctor Shopping with to get me some. Hey, can you mail me some? I needs them!

On today's date in 1977, David Berkowitz was arrested and charged with the "Son of Sam" killings that had gripped the city of New York. In total, Berkowitz killed six people and wounded seven others. Bizarrely, he claimed that he was compelled to kill via the orders of his neighbor's Labrador retriever, which he believed was possessed by a demon. What do you think? Was he part of a Satanic Cult?

JL2 said, "I think the dog was just messin' with him and didn't think it would go that far."

My new sounds! This is a podcast test, so I hope you enjoy and stick with me as more of my shows appear on SoundCloud.

2011-08-09T13:15:00.000-07:00

Police arrest over 500 people during riots and looting that erupted in Tottenham! 500 people gathered around the police station. Protesters filled bottles with gasoline, others confronted officers with makeshift weapons like baseball bats with nails driving through and chains with barbed wire weaved through the ends and other stuff like bags of broken glass and scones with specks of mold in an attempted to storm the station.

The heinous Manson cult murders of Sharon Tate and friends on this date in 1969 were seen as the 'end of the 60's.' How would you protect your loved ones from people like these killers?

In 1945, the US dropped the "Fat Man" atomic bomb on the city of Nagasaki, leading to Japan's surrender in World War II. How will you remember and honor all those that lost their lives?

Drove E13 (JL2's daughter) to her friend's house. Cute with a bow in her manga hair. I'm a very safe driver, yet she held onto the interior door panel like she was riding the Xcelerator at Knott's Berry Farm. I didn't mind, I want her to feel safe. I was so surprised she talked to me! She told me about all her friends' pets, even their names. I suppose it calmed her nerves, yet her voice became high-pitched when the car became airborne after I drove off the bridge.

Had to wait until the current carried the car to the bank, cause I can't swim.

I'm not getting notified if there is a message for me, or someone commented on a post, or whether you've sent me money via paypal! Can you check and see if it's working for you? Just send me some money via paypal; My paypal email is lentz2001@yahoo.com any amount is fine, just to see if it works. Thanks!

https://www.paypal.com/

Here's the poop on downloading, but keep it on the downlow!

2011-08-08T03:51:00.001-07:00

I'm new to illegally downloading stuff from the Innertube because I hate theft and jail time. I would never download anything mainstream or readily available within 10-15 feet from me. I search for those rare gems of films from my childhood or youth, lost cinema classics that Netflix never streams for free, PDFs of books only two people seem to care about, the guy who scanned it, uploaded it and me. Weird stuff, like manuals on set construction, set design, theatre craft, constructing camera rigs, understanding lighting and camera work for erotic lesbian latex fetish videos, and how to build your own energy producing windmill. Things like that.

I was searching for a book to download that I already own but is in storage. It's about a movie studio that made movies I loved called, Hammer Films.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hammer_Film_Productions

http://www.screenonline.org.uk/film/id/445975/index.html

While perusing the torrents, I was surprised just how many porno and Fred Williamson movies have "hammer" in the title or tag. I would never illegally download a Fred Williamson film, because he can hurt a man.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Williamson

Searching for the right thing to illegally download is hard, miserable and tiring work. You really have to pick and choose which file you'd rather be forced into a taxicab and flown to an unknown country and interrogated by Interpol over; a how-to guide on squirting caulk around the backdoor so no little critters get in any other holes and cause unwanted troubles for you and your woman, or a CIA manual on how to pick someones lock and take a look at their private things. Either torrent will get you on some kind of list.

I go to bed knowing my downloads are slowly loading as long as there are enough seeders with the same obscure and arcane interests that I have online throughout the night.

I wake up suddenly dreaming I'm being waterboarded!

I was in my pajamas. I'm needing to pee something fierce after a long day of heavy tea drinking. I stumble through the toe-stubbing dark to the shitter. In a panic I furiously fumble with the draw string on my jammies. I'm about to spray. The pain increases. I pull the string like the emergency ripcord on a parachute. It's in a KNOT!!! It's too tight to unravel! I'm about to pop! I quickly roll up the right pants leg of the PJs, squeeze the hose out the tourniquet-tight hole cutting circulation off around my hardened muscular thigh, place my foot on the seat, unfurl my tang-tackle and unleash the flood with levee bursting pressure, as it slaps around like a pressure washer unmanned, and writhing like a Water Wiennie by Wham-O! Until the tank is emptied.

Ahhhhhhh…

Later, I find myself consulting Covidien's Surgical Knot Tying Manual that I had to download to release me from the bonds of my sins and my jimjams.

2011-08-07T19:18:00.000-07:00

I used to think for me to be an artist I would need to suffer, as many artists that created great works have, but now, after many years of suffering I feel to be an artist I must make others suffer instead.

How can I be feeling so good and then someone can make one little comment that belittles me, ridicules, even if it is said in a "just trying to be funny" kinda way and suddenly I'm in hell? Why do I care what they think? I know I should consider the source, look at their track record and realize their opinion shouldn't mean anything to me.

It's tough to keep putting yourself out there, doing your thing, hoping to find others that dig your scene and what you're about... Then the haters open fire.

Went to YouTube Movies, the FREE section and saw they had "Amy Winehouse - The Girl Done Good" so being a fan and wanting to see how good the girl done, I clicked it and it said, "Movie Not Available" What gives?

Let's order a pizza with extra sauce and cheese, some beer, get that friend of yours to bring some weed, see if the girls wanna watch, if not order some titty-dancers, and if you can stop by Kroger's and pick up a gallon of milk so the kids can have cereal in the morning... Oh, grab some TP and some Chapstick! Yay! Let's watch these!

2011-08-06T17:29:00.000-07:00

I know what you're thinking!

"Jerry, you work so hard! How do you do it? You are so creative! Working on your films, writing your books, working as a voice artist... Jerry, you are so amazing and so fucking sexy!"

Well, you can go on and on, and please do! You are right to think that way! Keep it up!

Just had some kind of chocolate cake that the inside was melted dark chocolate and it flowed out and mixed with the homemade whipped creme... OMG! JL2 sure can make a cake! I watched closely, took mental notes and whipped the eggs into foam, so now my shoulder and brain is sore. Why is cooking so strenuous? I need to rest now.

I'm watching this now. I love the narrator's voice and some of the old classic ufo footage. I still really like the Gulf Breeze films. Watch it and let me know what you think.

British UFO Documentary

This is awful! 'Col Conrad is scathing about his former deputy.
"He should be ashamed and embarrassed by his allegation that his country and England both conspired to deceive their citizens over this issue. He knows better," he said.' Really? No government ever conspires to deceive their citizens? Really? I think the examples of just that are legion.

"US commander speaks for the first time about the 'Suffolk UFO'"

At the age of 36, Marilyn Monroe was found dead in her Los Angeles home on today's date in 1962. While her death was ruled to be "acute barbiturate poisoning," subsequent investigations/theories have suggested she may have been murdered. How will you remember her? Is she with us now?

Do you believe in an afterlife? Do you know who you were in a past life? Do you know who you are now? Do remember you were supposed to send me money? You said, "Jerry, I am sending you money!" That's right! Now you remember!

My FB friend, Dr. Weiss, had me fill out a summary of symptoms online and his analysis determined that my depression stems from postpartum depression that I've suffered with since my birth.

I bought some Flarp for some girls that felt they were above that sorta thing until they finally started playing with it, but then they would never admit they like it. I sure like babies when they laugh like this!

Have you ever said to your lover and or spouse, "Honey, I think we need to have sex more often because you're getting kinda fat and I think this might be the best workout for you," and did it ever work for losing weight or getting more sex?

I sure do need to get back to working out. After all, a friend did send me P90X. It's just that it's too HOT and I hate sweating! I can tell I've gained weight these last few months, I was brushing my teeth this morning and I heard a clapping/pounding sound that I thought was coming from the basement, but it sadly turned out to be my underbelly slapping the edge of the bathroom sink.

JL2 is a powerhaus! I can't keep up with her! The thing is, and I just know someone will say that acronym that I've learned to hate, "TMI," but she wears me out and then her metabolism is in overdrive and so she whips up a bucket of pasta and she just burns it off like a nuclear reactor, but my carb-plus food sits in my belly saturating my body like alkaline sludge from a coal mine.

2011-08-05T13:29:00.000-07:00

I know what you're thinking! Tell me and I'll tell you if I'm right! It's magic! Try it!

I've been programmed to be confused when I talk about MK-ULTRA.

Some folks are brainwashed, some don't have anything to wash! I got mine washed with dark colors and it came out dingy. I have been told I have a dirty mind and it needs to be washed!

WTF??? How did that cat do that? It really looks like the invisible man is lifting it up!

Please check it out and take a moment to "LIKE" it, because I'm delicate today and knowing that you like me, or something I did, would just be like honey on toast!

http://jerrylentz.mirocommunity.org/

I need to sleep, but now it's storming here and JL2's kid, E13 is up and she might hear me snore and find another reason to make fun of me. I seem to be made to suffer. It's my lot in life. I'm surprised about how much lightning this storm has! It was like a strobe light! I thought I was gonna have an epileptic seizure, so I have to have some cookies and milk.

Still having trouble sleeping, but when I did finally nod off I had the most horrible dream! I was trying to protect JL2 and E13 because there was this evil ghost of a murderer that the lightning in the storm we were having brought back into our world and he appeared out in the dark backyard and with every lightning flash I could see he was getting closer and closer to the house...

It was so horrible! I put the girls upstairs in the attic and I went downstairs to the basement and waited for him. I knew he was still partially made of lightning because he was sizzling with electricity and moaning with painful wails. I made a lasso of grounding wire. I hid behind some boxes and made evil sounds of my own to draw him in to my trap. As he started walking up the stairs to get the girls, I threw the loop of wire around his neck and shorted him out! SCARY!!!

It's official; I'm hallucinating in my dreams! Some invisible being, one of the "Old Ones" is beaming these dreams into my mind!

I need some sweet, sweet rest!

2011-08-04T17:28:00.000-07:00

I can't wait! I've seen two Toynbee plaques in my life and even created an email address because of it way back in the early 90s. I started research for a documentary in the late 90s about Toynbee, Kubrick, Clarke, Bradbury and Mamet, but never finished it. Glad these guys did!

I wonder if the mysterious broadcast might have been from Long John Nebel? His name did come up quite a bit in my research about Stanley Kubrick. I even had some wonderful emails from his daughter and Donald Bain

Remember his wife Candy Jones?

The United States Senate began hearings on the covert CIA mind-control program, MK-ULTRA, on today's date in 1977 while we were watching "Star Wars." How do you feel about your government now? Do they have the right to brainwash and experiment on the public? You don't believe they're doing it now? Really?

You, with me know, it's coming, it's messy and hard to handle!

2011-08-03T01:38:00.001-07:00

JL2's B'day turned out pretty awesome after all. After a full day of me pouting in my office because I can't cook or bake a cake and the numerous facebook friends (now unfriended) who emailed me easy cake recipes, she made a fantastic salmon dinner just the way Jack the Cat and I like it!

Then after Jack and JL2's kid, E13 finally went to sleep, I got a huge slice of chocolate cake she had to make herself and we watched some Mario Bava films. And to top off her great B'day, I granted her the pleasure of undressing me and I told her she could do to my body whatever she wanted!

To help her think, I unloaded what was left in the Reddi-Wip can. I made a Pyramid of Giza out of the cream and covered my big hard cock, but to crank up the sexual tension even more I lit a candle I placed in the capstone and told her in that low deep sexy voice of mine that you love, "Make a wish and blow, baby!"

I know what you're thinking, but I'm so sorry, I'm already taken.

Oh yeah, I spanked her good, too! I had to include all the years I missed spanking her, so I lost count.

I guess she was so overwhelmed by my b'day present offer, she couldn't come up with what she'd want to do to me right then. Poor baby, she was so tired from all the excitement of cooking and cleaning and working and then making sure I was enjoying her b'day, that she just passed out, but I'm sure seeing her beautifully hot husband all stretched out nude before her with chocolate frosting around his lips and a flame burning his whipped cream covered cock was just too much and it made her dizzy. Maybe she'll think of something good to do to me after she's rested up!

Well, she didn't pass out on me as some on the internet have claimed, I like to think of it like, she swooned and fainted. It's happened quite a bit in the past. Several times, girls have even become so light headed just as I undressed to begin my lovemaking, that they had to leave because they felt ill.

Some women go their whole lives without ever experiencing a man so gorgeous that they became weak in the knees and with the lack of oxygen, because of their panting actually become nauseous. I can't even begin to count how many ladies, after the excitement of seeing my manly nude body coming toward them, have actually thrown up!

And I'm not even talking about the drunk ones!

Pussy Gone Bad!

2011-08-02T16:56:00.001-07:00

So now that we've narrowly averted a catastrophic government default, who wants to give me some money? Sadly, I'm not making money off this hot bod and pretty face, I got my own bills and gifts to buy! Give me some money!

Most of y'all know today is JL2's B'Day! It'd mean an awful lot to me if you'd say Happy B'Day, because since I first met her when she was 16 years old, she's been the angel they talk about in books, movies, blogs and songs. So please write something sweet to let an angel know we're happy she's here on Earth. Thanks!

I wish I could make a cake! I know there are instructions, but I'm sure it would turn out bad! It's best to not even try in this instance. I don't want to put myself in a situation where I will be ridiculed. Lately my skills and attempts to do things have come up short. I do laundry and clothes come out dingy, I drive and I'm too slow, I drive and I don't go the right way, I clean and things get messed up, I decorate and it looks bad, I try to be nice and it gets taken wrong... So, with that, I will step aside and let someone else make the cake and light the candles and I will watch from afar so I don't catch fire.

Oh, I'll celebrate today by staying out of the way and wishing good thoughts for her! So Happy Birthday JL2 and feel safe in knowing you won't get food poisoning or a chipped tooth when it doesn't come out like you're used to.

Has anyone noticed an increase in spam in their inbox lately? Seems like my information is being shared no matter how careful I've been about it. That's what I've been getting, phishing stuff; well done fake Bank emails, fake Yahoo account, even fake facebook stuff asking for SS# and mother's maiden name... It's like an obstacle course every time I check my email!

Why aren't there ever more "seeders" for the things I want to illegally download? Why are my tastes so far from those of the average bootlegger? Damn my evil eclectic tastes! Why can't I be more mainstream?

I think Jack the Cat is up to no good. He's planning something, I can tell. I think he's either planning an escape or he wants to kill me. Maybe he wants to kill me, eat me, then escape. He looks at me with one eye all twitchy and his snaggletooth sparkling, he's an outlaw! I walked in to scoop up his poop out of the litter box, but I thought I walked in on him scratching sand over his chocolate, turned out he was burying a small scrap of paper. He acted all cool about it. Just turned and walked out. No eye contact. Then I found his notes. He's not anywhere as smart as he acts, I couldn't even begin to read his handwriting!

Very sloppy penmanship!

But I'm so cute, how can I be disliked? Look animals love me!

2011-08-01T18:27:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I find when someone hates everything I like, is snarky with anything I say, makes a sarcastic joke when I'm being thoughtful, ignores me when I'm in the room, rolls their eyes when talk about hopes and dreams... I used to think that person disliked me, but I had it all wrong.

I'm not that special.

I've had the illusion that I'm a great guy to know, but then people come along in my life that prove that wrong. I think I must be a mentalist/illusionist, because I sure can fool myself!

Could it be 'these people' are delusional enough that they wouldn't recognize what a great guy I am?

Nah. They are very smart and talented, it's just me thinking I'm special enough that they'd even think of me in a nice way, when in fact I don't even enter their thoughts.

Silly, isn't it? To care. Caring is creepy, isn't it?

I know, right? Just a couple of people I had believed liked me, but really didn't. Possibly they were told to be nice and like me when they actually didn't. The longest email I've ever received was written in anger. They never have said, "thank you," unless they were told to do so. But just talking about it here, with you, makes it so much easier to forget them and move on to trying finally to enjoy my life, such as it is.

It's a waste of time isn't it?

I wish I were a robot or a zombie, so I didn't have feelings… Maybe a robot, instead of a zombie… Yeah, a robot. Because I hate being hungry.

Maybe it's the drugs.

Was boiling a pot of water to make some tea. JL2 got me loving Tetley tea, so I reached into the box and plopped into the pot of bubbling water the big family size tea bag and went to sit down. When I felt it had been long enough, I went into the kitchen to pour the tea into the pitcher and discovered instead of putting in a tea bag, I dropped in a bag of Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts®!

It was all right! It was sealed in that silver mylar package, so it was dry. Hot and gooey! Eat 'em up, yum, yum!

Why is it so hot? Is the Earth getting too close to the sun? Will this be the hottest month? When will this heat end? Is it true that when there's no more room in Hell, the dead shall walk the Earth? It feels like Hell on Earth!

I think someone may have died from heat stroke over at the weird church across the street. There was an ambulance just parked with lights flashing for quite a while. I asked JL2 what kind a cult it was and she said, "It's Apostolic."

Then I said, "I see lots of young people wearing their tshirts, they must be popular!"

JL2 looked at me for a bit then it occurred to her, "No, that's Aéropostale®, baby!"

Later, I threw my hip out! I am so old I fell down and couldn't get back up. While down on the floor in agony I saw Jack the Cat coming to help me, but he only jumped up on my belly and sat there heating me up and keeping me from getting the very much needed oxygen.

These were my Transformers and they ROCKED!

2011-08-01T17:42:00.001-07:00

Jealous?

It was my favorite game as a kid. My brother tried to ruin my fun as brothers are wont to do by telling me the game was created by Karl Marx, who at the time I believed was a Marx Bros., so I was cool with it!

Stick with me kid, I'll make you a Star!

2011-07-30T21:32:00.001-07:00

I used a hot glue gun for the 1st time last night on a movie prop! I'm very excited because the two people that were training me burned their fingers and they have lots of experience. I could tell they'd done it before, because they knew just the right curse words to scream out when they did it.

I now have a cool ass prop, I just need to make a movie for it.

It's so hard to tell sometimes if Manohla Dargis likes a movie or not. Or is it just me?

If you woke up with a bomb strapped around your neck and some perverse cinema lover told you to make an entertaining, but no-budget movie or you would die... What would your movie be about?

Have you ever seen this show? Man, it's trippy weird! I love the music and the city, it's like David Lynch directed this! Maybe I could make a film like this?

My friend, Tim Lucas reminded me that one of my favorite filmmakers' 97th birthday is today. Mario Bava was such a hero for me and many, many others.

My favorite Bava story is the one where he is a little boy and he takes the stone foot carved for a statue and puts it under the covers and tells his mother something like, "Mama, I'ma so sick and I hava no feeling in my legs. Feela my foot, I just can't make it to school..."

That child would one day chill us all!

If you are new to the importance Bava has on people like us and curious to know all you can, please check out this fantastic book! It's also one of my favorite books!

"Mario Bava: All the Colors of the Dark" by Tim Lucas

http://www.videowatchdog.com/bava/index.htm

Watch this as well!

OMG! I just found myself making trying to make spaghetti! Now that's influence! Well, I think I'm gonna pop in "Danger: Diabolik" or maybe, "The Whip and the Body" while I eat in tribute!

How did I mess up this spaghetti? The noodles don't taste right! Did I boil them wrong?

Goddamn it! I put salsa in instead of pasta sauce!!!

Why do I even try to learn to cook? This is what happens when JL2 leaves for the weekend! I suck! I can't eat this! What a waste of food! I guess I'll make a pb&j to get this taste out of my mouth! Watch me screw that up!

I was thinking of toasting it, but I don't think we have a toaster, JL2 I think uses the oven or a skillet, can that be right? Shit! I had peanut butter on my finger, now it's on my keyboard! Crap! Let me get it oflkjljn kjhflasdf...

There!

I'm hopeless! I need a nanny!

Pregnant Teen Millionaire Strippers of the World Unite!

2011-07-30T20:55:00.001-07:00

If Casey Anthony becomes a multimillionaire for of posing nude for Larry Flynt's Hustler magazine, what kind of message does that send to other young mothers who are thinking of killing their babies? How can I possibly be thinking of becoming an author when I have a goof up like that in the preceding sentence? Gee whiz, "becomes a multimillionaire for of posing nude?" What is wrong with me? Should I just give up when I'm so close to finishing this book, or should I just kill it as if it were my first child? Maybe people will pay me not to write... UGH!

It would be so much easier if I had a smoking hot body and could just pose nude all the time. This "thinking" I have to do to make up for my looks, ain't working. I try and have a good personality, people seem to really like me, but then JL2's kids hate me... Life is really too hard for me!

Don't everyone rush in at once to tell me, "No Jerry, you do have a hot body! And you're smart, too!" I understand.

It's storming outside! I think I shall put on my rubbers and go out in it. It's been so hot here! I hate sweating! I'm making this right now, but I'm having a hard time wrapping the copper tubing around my balls.

Watched "Hairspray" (the musical) last night and thinks John Travolta should do more female roles.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry is against gay marriage and believes God created life and that the stimulus was $4 trillion down a hole, even though the plan saved jobs despite Republicans and corporations opposing it. He made a big show of not accepting the stimulus package, yet Texas ended up spending billions of federal aid dollars to balance the state budget. Have you seen "Cowboys & Aliens" yet? Any good?

The US House of Representatives approved an internet snooping bill so ISPs will retain names, addresses, phone numbers, credit card numbers, bank account numbers, and dynamic IP addresses. It's a record of your personal information plus the web sites you visit. It's like handing over a year's worth of browser history plus the contents of your wallet to the police. Now how do you feel? Man, we were all worried about how Facebook was stealing our info, but now...

JL2's B'Day is coming up on August 2... Dang, isn't that a couple of days away? I need help! What can I give her that doesn't require money? She's very frugal and hates money wasted, but I'm just broke. So give me some good ideas, because most of you know her pretty well. What should I do?

I love this idea I got, but she's made it pretty clear that she doesn't want me to bring another girl into the relationship, even as an experiment. I'll have to keep thinking about this, I know with y'all's help I can figure this out!

Not that I'm a "Cat Whisperer" or anything, but I can say with the utmost certainty that Jack the Cat hates me having the MacBook in my lap instead of him. He did this one thing by accident a few weeks back, the power cord to the MacBook is magnetic and can easily be popped off, which I love, but Jack pulled it off one day by rubbing up against it and learned he can get my attention when he wants me to do something for him by just casually walking up and unplugging it and giving me a "I'm here, look at me" kinda look.

Remember, dreams are wishes your heart makes.

2011-07-28T12:35:00.001-07:00

I wish America could go back to independently owned businesses! We all should reject big business! Imagine mom and pop bookstores, small grocery stores, single owner radio and TV stations, drugstores with soda jerks, locally owned coffee shops, cafes, restaurants, videostores, cinemas, drive-ins... If we all really wanted it, it could happen.

Maybe you're happy the way things are, though.

Stop cockblocking my wish! Are you an AmeriCAN, or are you an AmeriCAN'T? Make it happen! I have a tummy ache and can't get to it right now.

With all these corporations opening up fake offices in other countries to avoid paying taxes here and even moving jobs overseas, why are we supporting the very companies that lay us off or get bailout money?

What right does anybody have to stop what is dangerous and hurtful to a community or country? I see so many parallels between a walmart, starbucks, mcdonald's, barnes and noble and such, moving into a neighborhood and a crack dealer putting up a crack house near a school. I think if people were required to vote (vote without corruption or hanging chads) with an opinion other than voting with a purchase at the checkout and asked whether they want to buy cheap goods from China or sweatshops that put workers in the US out of jobs, I believe they would be Americans first and Republicans second and choose the right course of action to better this country instead of bettering the wallets of corporate CEOs and bankers that wave the flag in public, but wipe their asses with it in private. Corporations as an entity are of course fascist, they have dictators, so you can't support fascism and capitalism at the same time, or can you?

I know walmart is dangerous to this country! Walmart is the single largest importer of foreign produced goods in the United States, and the majority of its private label clothing is manufactured in at least 48 countries around the world without child labor laws and almost none of the clothes are made in the United States. Yes, "required to vote with an opinion" rather/other than voting with a purchase at the checkout. If a person knew the damage they were doing to the US and their future... They'd buy local foods that were safer and tastier. They'd buy lumber at the local yard instead of a giant box with minimum wage warm bodies that have no experience with the items sold. Between 1989 and 2003, the ever increasing US trade deficit with China has led to over 2 million jobs that either moved overseas or never were created in this country because production shifted to China. Wishes are naive, I suppose. And I do care about the American Worker, the American Worker that built dams, skyscrapers, bridges, drove trucks, defended this country and defended him/herself and their fellow worker against the hired thugs/Police/politicians that big money bought. While the Right, the Fascists, the Capitalists, the Banks, and the weak hypnotized by the paid for propaganda perpetrated by Fox News here and the UK, want to see the Unions abolished... Now more than EVER, the UNIONS must rise and save what is left after the vultures of Capitalisms have pecked out the eyes of Liberty, blinding her to their looting and their rape. These corporations, like walmart, by purchasing all these goods produced in China, they indirectly support continued workers’ rights abuses by Chinese authorities.

The Republican budget, which Moody’s Analytics and the Economic Policy Institute estimate will eliminate 1.7 million to 2.2 million jobs in the first two years, this puts two-thirds of the burden on low and modest income Americans. NEARLY EVERY HOUSE REPUBLICAN ON APRIL 15 VOTED TO GIVE MASSIVE NEW TAX CUTS TO WALL STREET AND THE WEALTHY and pay for them by cutting deeply into services for seniors, children and low and middle income working families. At that rate, China will absorb the US due to our debt and there will be no need to be upset about schools teaching Spanish, because our children will be forced to learn Chinese.

I know you love Chinese food, but EVERY night?

Nurse me! Now!

2011-07-27T06:24:00.001-07:00

I have the worst stomachache! I couldn't sleep all night! I can't sleep now. I wish you could rub my belly and then pat my bottom until I fall asleep. Maybe you could even sing me a song. What sweet song would you softly sing to me, or maybe whistle to me? Nurse me back to… Feeling good, so I can sleep deeply.

I'm in serious need some magick in my life!

I was just told about guy that has Stage 4 cancer, a cancer that is spreading rapidly, had to wait over a month for his insurance to approve chemo! You really want to support insurance companies that make a profit by denying and delaying?

I don't want my premiums to be used for paying CEO bonuses. I don't want my premium to be used to pay bonuses to claims agents based on how successful they are on denying claims. That's what we have now. They don't deliver health care, they deliver profits to investors.

And don't bring up, "We don't want Obama Care, or 200 Million people on Medicare, or our taxes will go to the poor scum that don't work..." We need solutions, not excuses!

What kind of mother would raise a son that would deny the mother help if she had cancer so they could make a profit?

What kind of mothers? Domineering, controlling, overbearing, and opinionated mothers whose discipline is strong enough to destroy their weak male ego, and as it says in the book, "Discipline and Deviance: Physical Punishment of Children, Violence and Other Crime that Arise in Adulthood" '...these mothers instill in the child through severe punishment, the inclination, especially in politics, to maintain the existing or traditional order while the adult child hides their secret sexual fetishes behind the principles and policies of a conservative party...'

You can't argue with that, it's science!

It's no wonder we are ranked 37th by the WHO.

If I were King of America I would start a New Deal Plan and start building several of these crisscrossing the US&A, creating jobs for millions... Then I'd build new hospitals and refurbish old ones and staff them with brilliant and well paid doctors and hot sexy and smart nurses!

Imagine for a moment how brilliant I am.

I'm so sick of that Goddamn Dancing Bear!

2011-07-26T18:51:00.001-07:00

Was asked by an old friend/agent if I would please do her a favor and entertain at a bachelorette party. I told her I don't strip anymore and she asked, "Because you're married?"

I thought that was sweet of her to think that women would still find me hot at my age.

At the party, which was already in full swing, I found the girls in the kitchen talking and eating. They stopped, looked at me and pointed to another room where I found a drunken dancing bear with a lampshade on his head.

"He was so drunk when he got here! Oh he was stinky with booze," said the Hispanic bridesmaid.

Pornographer!

2011-07-25T12:50:00.001-07:00

Ever been in a relationship where you wash laundry in the same machine? Then one day you're in a store and a couple of teenagers behind you say, "Hey old man, you got something sticking out of your pants leg!" You look down and there are her pink panties around your shoes. You quickly pick it up and shove them into your pocket while the kids scream, "Pervert! Panty Sniffer!" Really? Glad I'm not the only one!

This morning/noon I was taking a shower and I looked down and it looked like I might have spent the night at a Lady Gaga private party because there were sequins that had somehow stuck to my body that were being washed down the drain. Where did they come from? Then I remembered JL2 was sewing a sexy costume for DragonCon in bed last night. Glad I didn't sleep on the needles!

It seems one of my FB "friends" reported my photo from yesterday's post of my beautiful wife dressed as a French Maid as "pornography." Really? I wish I could find out who that "friend" is and... I dunno, what do you think should be done to a person like that?

I wish they'd unfriended me instead, or better yet, just go die.

Seems I've joined a club of awesome artists that Facebook has also censored.

http://www.techeye.net/internet/facebook-admits-boob-on-nipple-ban

The thing that gets me, is there was zero nudity! Nothing was showing! No breasts, no butt, no lady business... Unbelievable! And there's no one at Facebook Headquarters you can talk to about it. I'm glad I'm building up my Google+ so I can jump off this sinking ship.

Here's the horribly dirty photo in question. See for yourself. Is this pornography?

http://jerrylentz.blogspot.com/2011/07/she-can-clean-my-dirty-mind.html

If it was just about me in a photo, I wouldn't care, but my wife has been crying all night and is very upset that Facebook labeled her photo as "pornography" and when someone other than me makes my wife upset, I get very angry!

She can't clean my dirty mind!

2011-07-24T10:16:00.001-07:00

JL2 was tired of reading how I didn't know who was gonna cook and clean for me when she was out of town a few days ago. So she came into my room and said, "Well, I've hired a maid and I want you to meet her, so stay here and I'll go get her and bring her in so you can get a good look at her."

I was ready for a sweet undocumented worker, so I was thoroughly surprised when this beautiful girl walked in! After a couple of hours probing her background and getting to the bottom of her skills, I think I got her to open up and together we came to a very satisfactory understanding of what it will take for her to enjoy working under me.

My muscles are so sore from moving furniture, boxes, trash... The aching is so intense even my painkillers aren't doing the trick and it's keeping me from sleeping. I wish I had a friend that could give me a massage.

Didn't hardly sleep at all. My wife would rub me, but she's a very busy gal and I wouldn't want to trouble her. When I lived in Dallas, there was a massage school I used to go to and let the massage students practice on me. It was great! I wish there was something like that near me now, cause these aches and pains are making me irritable!

Few things are as irritating to me right now than having to watch a :60 commercial just so I can see a :14 crazy cat video on YouTube!

I bet I have maybe 11 cameras at my disposal. All of these I'm counting have video capabilities. I'd say at least 75% of the time one of them is within my reach. So please, for the love of Pete, why when the cat does something so friggin' unbelievably cool, is it not captured and that precious moment preserved for memories and cash prizes?

Dang, that pussy is too fast!

Why must there be such perverse cruelty?

2011-07-23T18:30:00.001-07:00

When I first arrived in London, I stepped out of Victoria Station and climbed into an open hansom cab. The horse flattened its ears, bared teeth, reared up and let out a prolonged neigh that was only slightly louder than the driver that began yelling at me to get out and fuck off. My only real experience with London at that time was "Thunderbirds" and the "Sherlock Holmes" radio shows I collected, especially the one featuring John Gielgud as Holmes, Ralph Richardson as Watson, and Orson Welles as Professor Moriarty.

So how was I to know one doesn't just climb into every horse drawn carriage they see in the dim streetlamp lit halo of evening fog?

That radio show was produced by Harry Alan Towers and sold around the world by his mother's company, Towers of London. The sweet elderly cabbie that eventually picked me up and kindly shut his meter off to give me his special tour in appreciation for the American troops who on way to the front marched across Westminster Bridge and loaded him and his widowed mother with chocolates and kisses.

It was one of my fondest memories, being this elderly man, still employed, driving me around the backstreets and pointing out amazing tidbits of history. He honked his horn and waved to Roger Moore outside of his restaurant. Around the corner was Michael Caine getting his photo taken with two well dressed old ladies. He drove me past 221B Baker's Street, pointed up to the window of that apartment and then drove me where he said it originally was before the Germans bombed it. He told me about driving different celebrities around the city. Then he told me about driving Harry Allan Towers around and the wild things he would hear.

The 2nd anniversary of Towers' death is coming up July 31, and I already have a film festival of movies lined up in honor. I have to admit I have been a big fan of his work starting when I was a kid, but it's so strange that the same guy that got his start in radio and produced Jesus Franco films, was also was involved with a web of people that inspired Kubrick's "Eyes Wide Shut," possibly assassinated JFK, smothered numerous orphaned preteen girls for perverse sexual thrills and snuff films, took down a huge number of UK politicians with the Profumo Affair… It's an amazing story and it goes on and on and the web gets bigger and bigger!

I'm again caught up in all this old stuff because of the amazing and very similar situation with News of the World and their use of spying, hacking, and possibly pimping out The Sun's Page Three Girls for political favors and blackmailing.

Don't believe it? Stuff like that doesn't happen? Really? It has, it does and it will continue, sadly. And what are we peasants to do, when we can't trust our leaders, our news makers, our lawmakers, our police…?

I bet that cabbie would know what to do!

The French sure know what to do!

Check out legendary independent producer Harry Alan Towers in this interview, "More Bang for the Buck!"

Two videos from Andrew Marr, someone who knows scandal very well.

Now read view these websites for more strangeness!

http://www.cannon.org.uk/mh2.htm

http://aangirfan.blogspot.com/2011/04/double-agents.html

http://www.page3.com/

The stage is set!

2011-07-22T16:43:00.001-07:00

Well, not yet. I'm converting a large, dusty, spider filled, and cluttered basement garage into a movie studio. The heat has been so bad, but it's cool down there for a while then it just becomes muggy. There is a/c there and that will come in handy when the lights come on.

Building a blue/green screen thing. Collecting lights to get it evenly lit. The rafters are exposed with connections to power very close. Assembling tools to go in an adjacent room to build props. Looking for PVC pipes to make dolly tracks. Finding old palettes and scraps to use the wood for sets.

Now if only I had some good ideas for what kind of movies I should make in the basement.

My ass is so sore!

2011-07-21T18:04:00.001-07:00

My head is throbbing, I'm dizzy and have the worst diarrhea! So please don't beg me to have sex!

I feel like shit that's been stepped in outside on a hot sidewalk, smeared across a white shag carpet in a house where the central a/c is out and it's so swelteringly muggy inside the kitty litter box aroma is thick, heavy and suffocating, as the cat has taken to pooping under the couch where it's darker and cooler and... and... Ah, forget it! I feel just awful! Make me feel better! I feel like I'm full of mud!

I'm so glad I'm not at Comic-Con feeling this way! Then again, I'm just glad I'm not at Comic-Con. I always loved the first 15 minutes of it, but then everything goes out of focus. There's not many sweaty people I enjoy rubbing up against, being the germaphobe that I am.

I'm down. Need your sweet words to lift my spirits once again. Because as you know, I'm not well, maybe it's the heat, maybe it's the flu, but moments ago my sweet wife left me. Oh, nothing too serious, it's just a couple of days for college orientation. The thing is... I really miss her and it's been just a few minutes! What am I gonna do? Who is gonna cook? Who is gonna clean? What about sex? I need help!

Changing the subject I casually asked if there were any strip clubs in the area and she said, "No, the churches keep them from opening up around here."

I was surprised to find myself yelling, "WHAT KIND OF HELLHOLE DID YOU MOVE ME TO?"

I thought that while my wife is away for a few days I might try and freshen up my wardrobe and surprise her with a new look when she gets back. Maybe some sexy underwear to spice things up a notch, but she's so small I couldn't even begin to fit in her panties!

Can you please rub my belly until I fall asleep? I didn't sleep last night and can't sleep now! But I bet Spanky could tell me a great story so I could go to sleep.

Please take some time and peruse a random sampling of links to impress upon you just how awesome I am!

http://www.youtube.com/user/jerrylentz

http://www.blubrry.com/jerrylentz/

http://www.thepodlounge.com/podcast/the-jerry-lentz-podcast

http://www.indiegogo.com/JerryLentz

http://www.podomatic.com/profile/jerrylentz

http://www.podcasters.tv/podcasts/the-jerry-lentz-podcast-161463.html

http://mubi.com/users/73953

http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/JerryLentz/reviews/

http://lafango.com/jerrylentz#!/media/18649-haunting-of-the-tower-theatre

http://www.bebo.com/JerryL876

http://current.com/items/91339384_join-the-growing-cult-of-listeners-of-this-...

http://www.lemonzdream.com/podcasts/?feed=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.jerrylentz.com%2Fp...

http://www.iworksaudio.com/Voices.html

http://www.iworksaudio.com/InterNuts.html

http://wn.com/Jerry_Lentz_on_the_Radio

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0502301/

https://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A1XD332UMO0OIG?ie=UTF8&%2AVersion%2...

http://voice123.com/jerrylentz

http://thevoiceinyourhead.blogspot.com/

http://www.voices.com/people/JerryLentz

http://flavors.me/jerrylentz

http://vimeo.com/jerrylentz

http://www.lulu.com/product/cd/hypnotically-guided-goals/11038393

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jerrylentz/

http://www.pandora.com/stations/74d9a8bdeef47f3e877be933163015f3e3c751ee3636d9de

http://itunes.apple.com/ne/podcast/the-jerry-lentz-podcast/id304095539

http://www.beverlygray.com/media.php

https://plus.google.com/116406054110847108299/buzz

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/jerrylentz

http://lentz2001.tripod.com/xlentz/index.html

http://www.allaccess.com/on-the-beach/10-questions/archive/4249/10-questions-...

http://www.playlist.com/playlist/2431373323

http://www.veoh.com/users/jerrylentz

http://current.com/users/JerryLentz.htm

http://www.massify.com/profiles/jerrylentz/

http://community.ovationtv.com/_Henry-Rollins-on-Jerry-Lentz/audio/262846/168...

http://community.spike.com/profile/JerryLentz

http://jerrylentz.livejournal.com/

Sexspionage!

2011-07-20T01:59:00.001-07:00

Today at the community thrift store where the other "JL" and I get all our movie
props, costumes and set decorations, found an awesome old paperback book by John
Q called, "The Bunnies" for FREE!

In bed we played a game where we took turns closing our eyes, randomly selecting
a page, then fingering a passage, opening our eyes and reading a paragraph from
the book in our most sexy voice. It was fun!

We watched the best parts of Jess Franco's, "Two Female Spies with Flowered
Panties" or "Ópalo de fuego: Mercaderes del Sex" starring the beautiful Lina
Romay. I told her about the time I was putting together a vampire film in Texas
and wanted Lina to be in it so badly. I met her and talked to her and Jesus
Franco about the script and suddenly Jesus began offering the girl that was with
me a part in a film he was doing. It was chaos! I was being cockblocked by Jesus
Franco!

Lina Romay, herself said, wasn't as young and gorgeous as she used to be, but I
didn't care. I had a great part for her! I thought she'd rock in my film. It
never got finished, but I may turn the script into a book, because the script at
one time started having quite a following and for a while was listed in some
magazine as one of, "the best unmade film scripts."

These stairs are haunted!

2011-07-20T00:18:00.001-07:00

While mopping the kitchen floor barefooted with a tropical and smelly good
cleaner, I opened the door to the basement stairs so I could clean all the way
to the tile's end when suddenly my feet flew out from under me, slippin' sliding
down the steps I went, all the way, ass bouncing from step to step until every
vertebra was realigned. I'll be feeling this later. Nope, I'm feeling it now.

Jessica said, "The floor is the cleanest it's ever been, especially the stairs!"

I told her, "The floor was hard work with a mop. The stairs was my fat ass
sliding down them and bouncing hard!"

The incident hopefully will help with my yoga work. I've been following Sadie
Nardini's videos for quite awhile, and by following, I mean, just watching.

Working on a new project entitled, "Trailer Park Frankenstein" and this is part
of the hair and makeup tests to what I believe will be an awesome work of
cinema!

I've been working hard on my memoirs with my editor and so far I'm over 60,000
words and I'm aiming for 100,000 by this weekend. Wish me luck! I'm gonna use
small, monosyllabic words like, "I" a lot so it's easier for me to type.

Watched an interview with author Diana Gabaldon for inspiration on writing and
because of my past life in the Jacobite Rising, where she talked nonstop without
a breath for 30 minutes. I wondered if she was on speed, then it occurred to me
she was just so excited about her life. I just know I will be that way soon. Not
about the talking a mile a minute part, but the loving life part, and maybe
taking speed.

The other day I went to a Davey Crockett Museum that showed the plans he used to
make gunpowder at his mill. I was telling my brother about the different
elements Crockett used and he said, "You mean like Kirk used against the Gorn?"

Anyone know if there's a flu virus going around? Something got ahold of me
quick! My stomach feels like it's a ziplock storage bag full of eels. I'm woozy,
poopy and don't think I can finish typing my book. Maybe it's been the heat! I
have been out in it sweating something horribly lately. I think I've been
dehydrated, too. I'm trying to feel better. I was told I need something called,
"Electric Lights," in my drink, so I put a string of old xmas lights in a
strawberry crush with coconut rum and then blew a fuse to the power. In the dim
candlelight I see on the note that they said, "electrolytes." Hmm…

Today turned out to be a beautiful day regardless of all the vomiting and
diarrhea! Thank you to the nurse that brought me grilled cheese sandwiches and
graham crackers! Now I feel like a hundred bucks!

These dreams are for pussies!

2011-07-18T01:21:00.001-07:00

I'm going to sleep now, to dream, but while I'm out please try and influence my
dream by thinking up something good for me to dream about... Think about it hard
and try sending it to me with your mind and then write it down here in the
comments and when I wake up I will see who got the dream right and who has truly
connected to me through the ether. This will be an awesome experiment! START
NOW!!!

The Harry Potter movie made $168.6 Million Dollars already, but not one cent
came from me, because I saved money and watched Soledad Miranda in Jesus
Franco's, "Eugénie de Sade" for free and there was all the magic I needed.

I would go to a Club that had these DJs! It would be awesome if the club was the
Pussy Cat Lounge! Who wants to go and dance there with me?

Does your cat have a sensitive belly? She told me, "Whoever invents a cat food
without food coloring so that your carpet doesn't stain when your cat vomits...
They will be very wealthy!"

I'm so worn out from trying to clean the oven last night. I was really
scrubbing, trying to rid the stove of years of neglect, so watching this had a
healing affect.

I worked so hard it was very hard to get out of bed, but when I did, I was
excited to see my girl's shoes made it into this photo.

Thinking of building this to drag a mower behind it to cut the grass on the
variable terrain of the farm. It will also be useful to carry vegetables, wood,
soil and any bodies we might need to bury. I will alter the design slightly by
adding six workbooted feet on the metal legs to keep things quiet.

I want! For $550 you have a trike that costs nothing to fuel. I was thinking I
could haul the mover behind this. Maybe? Well maybe the mower will still be gas
powered, just pulled behind a solar powered trike? Might work, right?

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

Sweet lil' thang!

2011-07-17T19:10:00.001-07:00

Sometimes when I talk, trying to be cute, I'll put the word, "lil'" meaning "little" in front of it, like if I said, "What a cute lil' baby," or, "you sweet lil' thing," or, "you need a lil' lovin'?" But I hit a snag last night when I inserted it before the wrong sentence during love making when I proclaimed she had, "...such pretty lil' titties!" The feeling is just now returning to my jaw.

I guess I'm just glad she didn't scream, "How'd you like it if I said you had a lil' penis?" Because her indoor voice, when she said it, was loud enough.

Meeting my distant relatives, Jessica was really taken with my 2nd cousin on my mommy's side, everyone calls him, Jerry Bob. We are close in age and like me, he was also named after Gerald Ford. He is very sweet and the girls just love to play checkers with him. The doctors say he has a lil' brain, but he uses what he's got. He asked Jessica, "Does you like cream corn? Me, too!" He didn't even give her a chance to answer.

He only drinks Dad's Root-Beer, even when he takes his medication. He's harmless.

Posted via email from jerrylentz's posterous

2011-07-16T01:44:00.000-07:00

According to The Guardian, "If the FBI investigation into the News Corp 9/11 phone hacking of victim's family allegations prove true, Fox News will lose their broadcast licences in the US. Fox News is over!" Please Dear Lord God let this be true!

I was just talking with a friend how these powerful men always seem to get away with their crimes. But it would just be so awesome if this once they didn't.

My brother, Donny said, "You mean powerful as in George Soros?"

Not sure what "crimes" Soros has done other than being born a Jew, (are there really any jewish teabaggers or republicans? Why would a jewish person ever support the Christian Right? Really!) supporting liberal ideals, being a hedge fund manager (bad enough!) and making a Billion while profiting from a British economic crisis, but if he was getting insider information, tapping phones, falsifying information and presenting it as fact... Yes, I would like to see this powerful man go down, but I think Rupert Murdoch is a fine enough definition for "Powerful," I think.

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/breaking-the-mirror/

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/outfoxed-rupert-murdochs-war-on-journalism/

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/capitalism-love-story/

2011-07-15T00:54:00.000-07:00

Back from my uncle's funeral. Got to see my cousins, my aunt, my brother and his wife and a whole bunch of family folk.

Was prepared to be incredibly sad, but seeing how much he was loved by his wife, children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and all his navy buddies...

Then a 21 gun salute...

I was moved and strangely filled with joy.

He was an amazing man!

Hold me close, the unknown can be treacherous!

2011-07-14T20:59:00.001-07:00

What is acceptable to wear to a funeral when it's over 100 Degrees? I want to show respect but I don't want to feel like I'm being cremated.

I guess I will be dressed up, but I'm taking an umbrella to block the sun and possibly the rain. I can't believe in this day and age we don't have clothes with built in a/c.

I feel ill. I'm full of worry and heart palpitations and stomach aches... I've inhaled some evil vapor in the basement, disrupted bats, disturbed ant hills, burned twisted branches of an old tree that may have held the ropes of dead men hanged, gassed the spirits in the beehive, cracked some mirror, watched a falling star for too long without making wishes... Went to have more things cut off me and the nurse that said, "This might hurt you... lil' prick," a few weeks back was already laughing while sticking the needle into me because she was thinking about "lil' prick" and how I would work it into the conversation, so I said, "You want me to try and work the 'lil' prick' in, don't you?" To which she fell on the floor in spasms.

Tonight while using magick spells, incantations, conjurations, and invocations for power, money, fame, love and commanding the universe to bend to my will so I can be a successful author, filmmaker and an amazing sex god with a big long fat knob, I realized that even though the Harry Potter film is gonna make billions of dollars, they ain't getting one penny out of me!

I've spend my time well. I've been eating peanut butter cookies and watching the work of the late great filmmaker, Jean Rollin!

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